Reblog This If You Slept With My Ex-wife Susan.

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

More Posts from Plutokin and Others

3 years ago

MAYBE I SHOULD CLARIFY but he just kills us with magic i think </3 also he doesn't say sorry for doing it lmao

GUYS I GOT A DIFFERENT ENDING THAN ALL OF THE SCREENSHOTS IM SEEING ON HERE

SHOULD I BE WORRIED???

1 year ago

in my defence i'm stupid as hell your honor

2 years ago

Lesbians who read Gideon the Ninth should get to take bereavement leave from work when they finish it

8 months ago

burning text gif maker

heart locket gif maker

minecraft advancement maker

minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags

windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)

FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)

image to 3d effect gif

vaporwave image generator

microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)

you're welcome

10 months ago

reading old messages is really fucked up because you see things and you’re like i would not fucking say that

5 years ago

everyone who reads this post will get some big spicy joy within 24 large minutes (hours)

10 months ago

peak human experience today. took a long ass nap on the beach

4 months ago

had an allergic reaction to a band aid. the world is cruel

11 months ago
A set of images on a white background with overlaid black sans-serif text. Above, the title reads "Come study PHYSICS" "totally a real science and (clumsily underlined in red) not magic!" The exclamation point is clumsily added in red. "we have..." 

The top left image is of a glowing radioactive rock. The text reads "Glowing death aura rock", which is scribbled out in red. Then "radioactive isotopes (has the power to level entire cities but ITS NOT MAGIC)".

The top right image consists of the circuit diagram for a full bridge rectifier, the Euler-lagrange equation, and a vector calculus identity. The text reads "THEY ARE NOT RUNES SHUT UP".

The bottom left image is of an apple on a metallic plate, hovering above a base with a wire coming from it. Overlaid white text reads "it's not levitation it's [gap] uhhhh magnets".

The bottom middle image is a monochrome image of a man standing next to two metal hemispheres, about the size of a large melon - the demon core experiments. Bold red text reads "NOT a real demon" and "we are NOT SUMMONING DEMONS".

The bottom right image is of a glass device. It is bulb shaped, and largest at its top. It has many cylindrical glass projections from its bottom, which are brightly glowing blue. The main bulb also glows blue, though more dimly. It is in a dark room and has many wires protruding from it. It is a mercury arc rectifier. White overlaid text reads "what the fuck".
6 years ago

the only thing i knew about sex at the age of nine was that

1) it was for mommies and daddies who were married;

2) it made me, my five year old sister, and my baby brother.

i learned everything i knew about sex from the internet while secretly browsing grownup sites on my 4th generation ipod touch i earned for doing so well at a piano recital. because of the nature of, you know, men and their internet porn, i learned that my sexual role as a woman was to be slapped and pissed on and tied up. i didn’t know what healthy sex was. i didn’t know it should be mutually consensual, or that it was okay to want sex with girls. i didn’t know that sex should be good for both people. i learned that sex would hurt, and that sex was about men and men only, and that i would be forced into sex whether i liked it or not, and that it was normal to have sex with big, burly, grown men as a teenager. i learned it was normal to cry during sex. i was scared of sex for so many years because of that, and the way i was exposed to sex at a young age led to the inappropriate and traumatic sexual encounters i had (occasionally with older people) later on in my teen years.

the day i got my first period, i was ten-and-a-half. i was swimming in the river with my best friend, and when i got out to go to the bathroom, i noticed brown blood on the inside of my mint-green tankini bottom. i knew what a period was, but i hid it from my mother in shame. she found out, eventually, of course. she told me, you have a woman’s body now, and if you have sex, you could have a baby. all i heard was, you have a woman’s body.

i started shaving my vulva when i was eleven, because i saw memes on memegenerator about how disgusting “hairy pussy” was. i wanted to be sexy. i was eleven years old, and all i wanted was to be sexy. it hurt, and it itched, and it made me uncomfortable, and i’d sometimes nick my labia with the razor, but i did it anyway, because i didn’t want to have a nasty, “hairy pussy.”

eleven was the age i first started getting pinched on the EL. i was an early bloomer: i had B-cup breasts already, and my menstrual cycle was regular enough that i could keep a calendar. i started wearing a full face of makeup to school and buying shorts that rode all the way up my skinny twelve-year-old thighs. i remember the day i stopped jumping off the swings the summer after fifth grade. skinned knees weren’t sexy. smooth, flawless legs were sexy, and i was a sexy girl. i was probably the sexiest little girl in the whole world. my parents hated it. they told me i was too young, but i knew the truth. my body was older, maybe 17 or 18, so my brain must be, too.

when i was twelve, i had a secret kik account that my parents didn’t know about. i used it to message strangers. i made all sorts of friends. i wasn’t stupid. i used a fake name. never showed my face. one of my friends asked me for a bra picture. i was a cool girl, right, i was sexy, so i sent him a picture of me in front of my bedroom mirror in my little white training bra with the blue butterflies.

sexy, he said.

that was all i wanted.

i’m not typing out all this bullshit because i think it’s something special. i’m typing it out because it’s not. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to my little sister. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to that little millie bobbie brown, sexiest actress at thirteen. i’m typing it out because i’m sixteen years old now, a girl in the eyes of the law and a woman in the eyes of men.

mothers, talk to your daughters. tell them to jump off the swingset and skin their knees. tell them to get dirt on their dresses. tell them that they’re a woman on their 18th birthday, not at ten-and-a-half on the first day of their menstrual cycle. the world is confused. the world is sick. if your daughters don’t hear about how to treat their bodies from you, they’ll hear it from the sick, sick world, and they’ll do the things i did.

let girls be girls.

don’t force womanhood on little girls.

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she/they

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