Someone: I Love You

All youuu do is bitch bitch bitch

They don't love you like I love you

Friendly reminder

“In a healthy relationship, your partner hears you out if you’re upset, and their goal is to avoid upsetting you in the future, not to debate whether you should have been upset in the first place.”

I wonder if birds on my feeder are friends or if it’s like a public bathroom and no one makes eye contact.

Me with Daddy

Me: HHHHUUUNNNGGRRRYYYYY

Daddy: what do you want to eat, princess?

Me: *rolls around and makes frustrated noises because I don't know what I want to eat.*

The 5 rules of a relationship: 1. Stay faithful 2. Make them feel wanted 3. Respect your partner 4. Don’t flirt with others 5. Make time

therelatabletexts (via therelatabletexts)

Friends

Friends: daddy kinks are soo weird!

Me: *sweats profusely* yeah! H-haha..

Friends: its sooo nasty!

Me: *sweats even more* h-haha.. i-i gotta go i-i left uh..the oven on *runs away* ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION.

Girls like hearing men moan during sex

Girls LIKE hearing men moan during sex

GIRLS LIKE hearing men moan during sex

GIRLS LIKE hearing MEN MOAN during SEX

GIRLS LIKE HEARING MEN MOAN DURING SEX

Magikarp magikarp

Even the Pokedex is putting Magikarp on blast