Going To Work 😌

calling a stranger online bestie is the modern equivalent of going up to a stranger in an old tavern and calling them “my friend”

QUICK. RB THIS WITH THE FIRST SONG LYRIC THAT COMES TO YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU SEE THIS POST. THAT IS AN ORDER

Bro I think you manifested that 2018 Netflix reboot

i want a Sabrina, the Teenage Witch reboot tbh

your 4 most recent emojis describe your 2022 experience mine are fucking 😔🤡✨😭

OMG these two huge burly bearded men kissing is giving me the definition of ⚡️representation✨

Are you certain there is nothing you wish to give me?

what is the difference between falling in love and having a crush

if they get a haircut and they’re ugly it’s a crush

mcu characters as dumb shit my classmates have said

steve rogers: five year plan? you know who had a five year plan? stalin. look where he ended up.

tony stark: guys. emergency: my outfit isn’t dope enough today.

clint barton: [on a scooter] you’re driving? you fucking loser, i’m scooting!”

natasha romanoff: she’s complaning, meanwhile I was eating my 5th cricket.

bruce banner: where’s the fire extinguisher in this room? GOD do they not care about safety???

thor odinson: KYLE, BRO, ARE YOU SHITTING ME? I THOUGHT WE HAD A DATE? CMON, MAN.

loki odinson: here’s yet another situation in which being a chameleon would be useful.

sam wilson: I know you don’t like me, which is exactly why I asked the teacher to move my seat next to you.

scott lang: do you have any deodorant? or maybe some orange juice, either will work.

hope van dyne: anyone eating a mini candy cane looks like a pussy.

peter parker: hey, off topic question, are you more of a lewis or a clark kind of gal?

rhodey: we are not getting in a robotic argument. not today.

shuri udaku: I can’t see the math problem through my tears.

wanda maximoff: oh, I committed some sins early on, for sure.

valkyrie: if I were high, it wouldn’t be on weed. that’s weak.

t'challa udaku: that’s not how you eat pasta in these lands, you ignorant slut. 

stephen strange: shift your eyes to the wonders of my fingers.

bucky barnes: I have a lot of feet… but not enough hands… what do I do here?

put in the tags the first thing that comes up when u type “i am,” “i’m not,” “i love,” “i hate,” and “i wish”

the bullseye themed chain is a contender that rivals the Swedes’s; consider target

there are very few department stores in which you can have a comfortable overnight stay in. walmart technically is well supplied for a sleepover, but it’s actual interiority (the germs, messes, depressing tiled flooring, very warehouse-like arrangement) makes it hostile to the intimacy of a slumber party. ikea on the other hand? it’s like being in a series of miniature homes that have been stripped of walls and ceilings. the displays are segmented into rooms, but they’re still ensnared in a wider matrix of observable private spaces from wherever you’re standing. to have an ikea go from “a place to shop” to “a place to stay in” reveals the luxurious comfort of it’s delightfully cluttered landscape. those people who were stuck in that denmark ikea overnight are the only people on this earth who are getting raptured. the rest of us are going to hell.

Ngl, this is literally the reason I got my undercut

i too am an undercut lance enthusiast 

(also yet another oneshot dj idea that i have)