big bro & bigger bro
Idk if anyone else remembers, but Batman canonically carries around Bat-cookies according to the Batman/Scooby-Doo crossover.
I LOVE to think Batman carries them around as snacks for Robin. I love it even more to think he uses said cookies to bribe Robin into good behavior in a similar fashion to Scooby Snacks.
Little Dick Grayson: I don't wanna go to some stupid Gala! U can't make me!
Bruce, in desperation: would u do it for a bat-cookie?
Dick: woah! Bat-shaped! Cool!
Bruce: andddd you can have another one after the party
Dick, mouth full of cookie: okay :)
Bruce, internally: thank fuck a parenting hack that works
Batman: stop! Don't kill him!
Red Hood: and why do I give a fuck what you-
Batman: would u spare his life for a Bat-cookie?
Red Hood:
Red Hood: I'm not a kid anymore-
Batman: they're fresh, look, still warm
Red Hood: ...
Red Hood: this works ONCE. This ONE time. Gimme that damn cookie.
Batman: of course
Red Hood: Fuck I've missed these what the hell does Alfred put in em
Bruce: go to sleep, Tim
Tim: I'm almost done-
Bruce: go to sleep now and you can have a bat-cookie
Tim: a what?
Bruce: a bat-cookie. See? Here, first taste is free. Try it.
Tim: bribery? Really?
Bruce: positive reinforcement
Tim: giving me treats like I'm some kind of dog?
Bruce: try it and then we'll debate the ethics
Tim [eats cookie]:
Tim:
Tim: okay
Bruce: Okay?
Tim: if I promise to sleep a full 8 hours I want two more and a glass of milk
Bruce: u drive a hard bargain but I accept
Dick: aw, c'mon, Damian. One picture. For me, to remember your first day of high school. Do it for a bat-cookie?
Damian: -tt- I've heard of these so-called "bat-cookies" Insulting. I am not a child. I refuse to participate in such an asinine tradition.
Dick: shame. Alfred made animal-friendly ones so you can share with Ace and Batcow. I guess they don't get any treats either, then
Damian: well
Damian: since it would please you so very much, I will overlook this patronizing lapse in judgment
Damian [tries one bite of cookie]:
Damian:
Damian: given Batcows higher food intake requirements, I will require at least a dozen.
Damian [takes another bite]: perhaps two dozen
Duke: you agree I did a good job today?
Bruce: yes? I suppose. Earlier, when you stopped that-
Duke: shut it. Don't care. Cookie me.
Bruce: excuse me?
Duke: I know about the cookies, old man. You've been holding out on me. The cat's out of the bag. I did a good job, I get a cookie. That's how it works, right?
Bruce: uh well
Bruce: that was a long time ago
Bruce: i had to discontinue that method after-
Duke: are you saying I'm not a valid member of this family because I was never Robin?
Bruce: of course you are! But I don't have any on me-
Duke: don't. Lie. To. Me.
Bruce: Okay! Okay. You're right, I'm sorry. Here, take it. Just... do me a favor, and don't go announcing to the whole cave you got-
Duke: YES. MY FIRST BAT-COOKIE! SCORE!
Every batmember in the vicinity: BAT-COOKIES ARE BACK????
Bruce: NO! stay back! Stay back you animals! Alfred! Alfred! It's happening again-
Alfred, sighing: I'll preheat the oven, sir
bruce and khoa for @milknova as part of @dcufans4palestine! thanks so much for your kindness and donation! loved drawing these two.
it's december so time to stare at my art output for the year!!!
picked out some stuff that i'm ok with. wish i had more art to show but im trying to let it go since i was gone for 4 months this year. here's hoping for more drawing time next year
they're meant for each other or something
yoou guys wont be laughing when i suddenly collapse unconscious and have to be taken to the hospital. then youll all see <- normal thought process to have while doing anything i dont want to
give battinson a robin and have it be stephanie brown
shoutout to this masterpiece that's been in my drafts for going on 2 years now
I see a lot of social media. So… give me Damian Wayne making social media accounts for Titus, Ace, and Alfred the Cat. Let Alfred the Cat have more followers than the entire family combined. Let Bruce Wayne follow only ten accounts on his official Instagram—and one of them is his son's pets. Give me Damian Wayne celebrating his pets’ birthdays. No one knows when they were actually born, but Damian remembers the days they came into his life, and he celebrates their birthdays because he can and he wants to. Give me the Wayne pets on social media… photos showing how massive Titus is and how he should probably start paying rent at this point. Show Ace constantly getting into fights with Jason and Dick over the clothes, how they're always stealing the clothes. Give me Alfred the Cat judging everyone, or doing something adorable. Just pets. Being soft. Being chaotic. Being beloved.
gotham rainy nights*
i still am a believer of duke doing silly things with his superpower
patch note: i got another believer and im honored
hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + many years later, a smug dude with his bat-rain-poncho invention
The true reason why the Joker killed Jason wasn't because he wanted to hurt Batman or anything, it was because One Time, after Joker was caught and was being dragged away, Jason made Bruce laugh So Hard that he had to use Jim Gorgon as someone to lean on, that people Genuinely Thought that he had been dosed with Joker Venom until he calmed down
But nope, just a really good joke
And from that day on, The Joker hated the second Robin with a passion
i have read over 1,000 batman fics in 5 months. I've lost my fucking mind
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