They Should Dunk Alucard In Water More Often

HOW COULD HE *cries for 100 years*

important announcement

I have decided to have Wolfe break up with Alucard and date Erzsebet instead. You see, when Wolfe saw her for the first time, Wolfe was ENTRANCED by her reddish pink turnip shaped hair, and wondered if he could eat it. As a result, Wolfe left Alucard at the altar and ran away with Erzsebet in the desperate hopes of tasting her turnip hair. I hope everyone is cool with this, and if not, I dont care <33 #turnip #hungry

she alu on my card til i- she adrian on my tepes- she castle on my va- she alu on my-

they call me a master baiter because im very good at worming my fishing hook in a clean and efficient way that keeps the worm attached and secure. what, you thought i was gonna make a joke about masturbating ? hm. how crude. fish army kill them badly

All those jokes about Tumblr being the social media platform of last resort every time another big player shits the bed are gonna stop being funny real fast if we end up getting a big influx of ex-4channers.

It makes me so so mad >:(

putting AI slop on my dash is a blockable offense

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

my contribution to the selfshipping community 🫡

I am not a straight people.

Reblog if you are also not a straight people.

this happened i promise i was there