Honestly Anakin And Padmé’s Secret Marriage Has So Much Comedy Potential And TCW Did Not Take Advantage

There’s some really disturbing stuff in The Nature of Middle-earth; I’m not sure whether these ideas were some of the ones Tolkien considered for how orcs were created, or if he saw them as something different, but he’s provided plenty of fodder for darkfic writers.

…it is recorded in the histories that Morgoth, and Sauron after him, would druve out the fëa by terror, and then feed the body and make it a beast…it [would become] an animal, seeking nothing more than food by which its corporeal life may be continued, and seeking it only after the manner of beasts, as it may find it by limbs and senses.

Jirt, that’s a zombie. It’s dead, non-sapient, still moving around, and only driven by looking for food. And typically created by an evil power through evil means. You invented Middle-earth zombies.

And worse, [Morgoth or Sauron] would daunt the fëa within the body and reduce it to a stupor of horror, so that it was impotent; and then nourish the body foully, so that it became bestial, to the horror and torment of the fëa.

This does seem like a mechanism for the creation of orcs. Morgoth takes an elf, overpowers the fëa so that it is no longer in control of the body, and then, well, the implication is that he feeds the body the flesh of elves or men to further torment the fëa. In the short term, the hröa is basically a beast under Morgoth’s control; over time, the fëa might become more active, but horrified, sickened, and twisted by the nature of the hröa and the purposes for which it has been used. It is evil because, outside of its control, it has done and been used for horrific things that it can’t process without becoming evil.

Brr.

Random person: You do know that romantic and sexual attractions are what make us fundamentally human-

Aros, turning to Aces: Gods?

Aces, nodding: Gods

2020 is the túrin turambar of years

LOTR character Hogwarts houses?

oooooo good question. 

Gandalf- Ravenclaw (Values knowledge and wisdom foremost. Literally named the wisest of the maiar.)

Galadriel- Slytherin (Very wise, but she was also willing to follow Feanor to fulfill her ambitions of ruling a kingdom and she was tempted by the ring. Protects the people of Middle Earth and put aside her ambition to help them. Awesome, healthy Slytherin.)

Sam- Hufflepuff (This character is, in my opinion, the PRIME example of a Hufflepuff. Loyalty? Desire to protect his friends? Nurturing? Yes, very yes.)

Boromir- Gryffindor (I mean, he’s incredibly brave, protective of his friends, and a bit reckless. Excellent Gryffindor.)

Frodo- Hufflepuff or Gryffindor (Honestly can’t decide because he fits both pretty well.)

Faramir- Ravenclaw (Ultimate Nerdboy McGee. Preferred to hang out with an old wizard professor than go do boy stuff with the homies. Love him.)

Pippin- Gryffindor (While his loyalty to his friends is evident, his impulsiveness and his bravery in the face of the most terrifying danger ever makes him a Gryffindor. I mean, he literally stood up to the Steward of Gondor when he was in the throes of madness and was trying to burn himself, his son, and anyone who got in his way. You go Pippin, you funky little hobbit.)

Merry- Gryffindor of Hufflepuff (Loyalty to Pippin and Theoden and his intense study of hobbit history and culture gives strong Hufflepuff vibes, but facing off against the Witch-King of Angmar and his giant fellbeast in a terrifying battle gives off big Gryffindor vibes.)

Eowyn- Gryffindor (I don’t feel like I need to explain this one. She was literally dying to go do brave stuff. She faced off against the Witch-King. She snuck into the army. Superb.)

Elrond- Ravenclaw (Please let this dude read his books in peace. He didn’t ask to be pulled into everyone else’s drama.)

Aragorn- Ravenclaw (A hot take, but I feel like you have to be a Ravenclaw to know the history of Middle Earth to that degree and also to be able to compose amazing ballads on the spot like that. I mean, he’s brave and loyal and stuff too, but he’s also just a big nerd about a variety of topics and he’s very wise.)

Arwen- Gryffindor (“Arwen, babe, we can’t be together because you’re immortal and I’m human and also your dad wants you to go to the Grey Havens with him.” “Nah, Imma stay here with you and defy the world by becoming mortal and facing the uncertainty of a human death because I’m a badass.”)

Legolas- Hufflepuff (Totally willing to throw down for his friends. Decided to befriend a dwarf despite the fact that elves and dwarves hate each other. “Dwarves don’t go to the Grey Havens, it’s just for elves and ring bearers.” “Yeah, screw that this is my emotional support dwarf so he is coming with me.”)

Gimli- Gryffindor (I mean, he’s a big ole history nerd but he literally insults everyone the fellowship meets and tries to fight everyone so…. Also he literally flirts with Galadriel in front of her husband which is a totally baller move.)

Denethor- Ravenclaw (He’s actually really smart, he’s just a dick who went mad. Master strategist. Great example of an unhealthy Ravenclaw.)

Sauron- Slytherin (Climbs his way to the top. Manipulates Numenor to destruction to gain power. Veeeerrrrry sneaky.)

Bilbo- Hufflepuff (Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders.)

ICYMI: fragments of Kidnap Fam fix-it by Jirt

Here Damrod and Díriel ravaged Sirion, and were slain. Maidros and Maglor were there, but they were sick at heart. This was the third kinslaying. The folk of Sirion were taken into the people of Maidros, such as yet remained; and Elrond was taken to nurture by Maglor. (HoME 5, The Later Annals of Beleriand)

The Third and Last Kinslaying. The Havens of Sirion destroyed and Elros and Elrond sons of Earendel taken captive, but are fostered with care by Maidros (HoME 11, The Tale of Years)

Yet not all the Eldalië were willing to forsake the Hither Lands where they had long suffered and long dwelt; and some lingered many an age in the West and North, and especially in the western isles and in the Land of Leithien. And among these were Maglor, as hath been told; and with him for a while was Elrond Halfelven, who chose, as was granted to him, to be among the Elf-kindred; but Elros his brother chose to abide with Men. (HoME 5, Quenta Silmarillion)

Half of reading silmarillion fanfiction is getting annoyed that your favourite elf is being characterised wrong, and then realising said elf is only mentioned by name 9 times in the entire silmarillion and the version of them you've created in their head is not in fact their actual character

*adds another neurodivergent label to my bio as if I'm adding stickers to a laptop*

I can’t write these scenes bro I just can’t

Unseen JRR Tolkien essays on Middle-earth coming in 2021

The Nature of Middle-earth will cover topics including Elvish immortality, the geography of Gondor – and which races could grow beards

‘The new collection, which is authorised by the Tolkien estate, will be called The Nature of Middle-earth, and will be published in June by HarperCollins, which promised it would “transport readers back to the world of The Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales and The Lord of the Rings”.’ —

‘The writings will be edited by Carl F Hostetter, a Tolkien expert and head of the Elvish Linguistic Fellowship who has been a computer engineer at Nasa since 1985. Hostetter previously worked with Tolkien’s youngest son Christopher, who curated the author’s posthumous output until his death in January, aged 95.‘

Okay I think I know what it is. Jee is like an eagle. Totally stunning from side view. Derpy from front. It's the shape of his hair and nose, I think????

well… you are right! but… this is not a nice thing to say to our lieutenant and poor hawky!