I'm Approaching Parenting Age And I've Been Thinking Back On All The Stuff I Put My Parents Through As

I like to believe that in the same way Glorfindel was sent to Middle Earth, Finrod could have been a messenger in Númenor and change the fate of Dúnedain.

The Valar as a collective (not necessarily each individual, such as Ulmo) seem to find it difficult to empathize with beings of lesser power than they who are tied to time, especially beings who can be killed and aren’t willing to wait around for millennia for the Valar to come up with a solution when things are bad and people are dying right now. Like op said, they aren’t used to being told, “I don’t agree with any of y’all, and I’m going to pursue this goal my own way, whether y’all like it or not.” They’re not used to having more than two sides to a conflict, and throughout the Silmarillion they consistently underestimate the determination of the Children, especially the Noldor and the Numenoreans. 

So, do the Valar know the elves aren’t  just fleshy-Maiar?

(I’m tired so this might be ramble-y but oh well)

So, Pre-elves the Valar only really interact with Maiar, who basically do whatever they want and are kind of just fancy servants. The only times we actually see a Maia rebel- e.g. Mairon- it’s basically just a switch in who they listen too and not a bid for independence.

So has anyone except Melkor actually flat out told the Valar No?

Because if not that sort of explains how they have no idea how to deal with the elves.

Specifically the Noldor.

Because the Noldor, even though they are favoured by Aule, strive to create independently and without oversight from the Valar, and it’s with them the Valar screw up the most. Literally most of the problems in the first age would have been less catastrophic if the Valar had just let them leave. No first kinslaying because Olwe could just let the borrow the boats, no Helcaraxe, someone could have slapped Feanor upside the head before he got himself killed ect. But instead the Valar just…thought they’d be listened to when they told them to not go after the guy who murdered their dearly beloved king and stay put in Valinor forever, even when it’s implied Namo already knew Finwe is dead and should probably have told his son as soon as he found out but didn’t and the Valar immediately mourned the loss of the Silmarils rather than the elf who died in a place they promised would be safe.

And not knowing how elves work would kind of explain why they thought Feanor would be okay with Finwe remarrying. No Maiar had ever been unhappy with their decisions, so why would an elf be different?

It also explains the…weirder aspects of LaCE. Because some of LaCE reads like it was invented purely for population control (see sex as an act purely to create children), and that would make sense if it was put down by a race that just didn’t do sex as the ainur are implied to be. And everyone is expected to follow it and be happy, because no-one had ever told the Valar they weren’t.

Any way, idk. I’m probably reading too much into this, and this probably wasn’t articulated very well.

Tl:dr- The Valar got too used to dealing with people that do everything they tell them too and elves don’t like being told what to do Thank You Very Much

Okay I think I know what it is. Jee is like an eagle. Totally stunning from side view. Derpy from front. It's the shape of his hair and nose, I think????

well… you are right! but… this is not a nice thing to say to our lieutenant and poor hawky!

I did a thing during quarantine!!!

(Ok, I did a lot of things, but this one was helpful and I’m proud of it so I’m sharing!)

I made a list of foods!

Did I base it on suggestions for parents of picky eaters? Yes. Am I a little salty about how everything that helps is designed for toddlers? Yes. Salty enough that I won’t use it? No.

But let me explain.

My Gentleman Caller has been staying with me during quarantine and he really likes cooking. I don’t. So he does the cooking and I do the dishes, because fairness. Problem is I’m finicky about foods and he’s trying to find stuff that is 1) healthy 2) tasty and 3) that I’ll eat! (He is a lovely and majestic man and I’m so grateful for him omg!)

But what this means is that he kept asking me about a whole bunch of recipes in cookbooks and magazines and internet and was getting frustrated by my continual responses of “eh? I think so? Maybe?”

I would go on to explain any hesitation I had about stuff and how I have a hard time seeing a list of ingredients and knowing what they would taste like together. And how I was basically just glancing at the ingredient list for any NO foods.

Then we realized a list would be helpful for him! (Because we are both apparently stupid sometimes it took us a few conversations to get there!)

So I looked up lists of foods and picky eating and found this!

It is for parents of toddlers and small children, but it had a good idea! I liked the Always/Sometimes/Never divisions, but it wasn’t quite right. So I fired up the Excel and started my own list!

I decided my list worked best in 5 categories: Always, Often, Caution, Never, and Unknown. Always is rather self explanatory. Often is my shorthand for I’ll likely eat it unless I’m just not feeling it that day, but it’s probably fine and go ahead and plan on yes.

Caution is for when I only like things on certain foods or prepared in certain ways. On my spreadsheet, for example, one got olives in this category. I only like them on pizza. Also bananas. I only like bananas in banana shape. Not in smoothie form. So if it’s got one of these, basically just check with me first or prepare for substitutions.

Never is for, well, never. I will not eat that. Sometimes it’s a taste, sometimes a texture, sometimes I just plain don’t like it! Point is, not gonna eat it. Ever.

There are a few things in this category I listed in bold (not on the screen caps) because I have an actual horrendous involuntary reaction to them! (It’s stuff like applesauce, grits, oatmeal, etc. anything that can be classified as “gruel” triggers my gag reflex and I end up nearly vomiting with tears and snot running down my face. It’s ugly. Double hard no!)

Then there’s the Unknown category. I joke that I’ve got the flavor palette of a 5 year old, but really there’s just a lot of stuff I haven’t tried. Or haven’t tried often enough to come to a conclusion about them yet. Hence, unknown! I put this in to explain the thought of he can try this stuff, but I literally have no idea what my reaction to it will be. I could love it, could hate it, could love it in one thing but hate it in another! I don’t know yet!

I also in the second screenshot separated them into categories for ease of finding and shopping. Makes it easier for people who aren’t me to find what they’re looking for.

But the interesting thing for me is that I made the list first and separated into categories later. So I found out things about myself I didn’t know! Like, I just don’t seem to like any fruits and berries consistently! None whatsoever! Never knew that! Also makes sense why I’m not keen on pie!

But I’m very proud of my list and my self-reflections and wanted to share! Hopefully it helps others who are particular about their food to explain their preferences to others!

Damn I just realized that since the Rohirrim didn’t read or write (wise but unlearned, writing no books but singing many songs) that means Eowyn couldn’t read or write and since she marries Nerdboy McGee who loves reading and writing more than anything you can your bottom dollar one of the first thing that happens in their courtship/marriage is Faramir and Eowyn wholesome tutoring sessions in the Minas Tirith library (!) 

What I find interesting about Boromir being the first of the fellowship to succumb to the ring is that it wasn't because he was evil or less pure of heart than the others, but because he didn't truly believe the ring was evil or that it answered only to Sauron, he thought he could use it make it answer to him. It was only after he tried to take it from Frodo that he realized he was wrong.

So, I fell down a rabbit hole and learned two cool things in relation to the Irish language and Tolkien!

1) He seems to have tried and failed to learn Irish and thought it sounded awful XD

2) In one of his letters where he’s talking about the origin of the word nazg (Black Speech for ring), he says that he thinks it most likely came from nasc, which in modern Irish refers to a tie/bond/link and in older Irish seems to have also referred to ring-shaped jewellery (by which I mean bracelets, necklaces etc, not just finger rings). Technically, he does say that he didn’t do this consciously. He was looking up some stuff about Irish, came across the word and ‘re-learned’ it as such and thought “oop, that’s probably where that came from!” but I still think it’s cool.

Bonus! In that same letter, he describes the Irish language as “mushy” sounding and like, I get what he means? I don’t know why, but I find this description hilarious. He’s not wrong XD

Too much praying directly to the Valar and not enough praying to their Maiar for their intercession

"Elrond raised his eyes and looked at him, and Frodo felt his heart pierced by the sudden keenness of the glance." - The Fellowship of the Ring, The Council of Elrond.

So. What do you want to bet that when glorfindel came back to middle earth he had a heart attack because elrond looked like maeglin.

(This means that the list of people glorfindel has considered trying to murder about this exact topic is elrond, bilbo, and aragorn. Plus a bunch of elrond's other human fosters but none of THEM fell for arwen so aragorn was def the most severe)

And since arwen is exactly like elrond in every way, this is yet more proof for my theory of "every character named twilight + son/daughter is a meaningful parallel"

Ok but autistic Tolkien elves.

Elves who get so easily overwhelmed by all they can hear and see and sense.  The Lord Elrond teaches them how to focus themselves on the waterfall of Imladris, and a small number of them go to its base every morning and close their eyes and focus in on just the rushing water.  The Lady Galadriel teaches another approach–to climb the tallest tree in the Golden woods and sit in its high branches and watch wordless Arien or Tilion glide through Varda’s silent realm.

Autistic elves who stim with tree bark, tracing its intricacies and seeing how deep they can sense the textures.  Elves stimming in the rivers and teaching the allistic elves how best to move with the water, and Ulmo blessing their dancing because while the allistic may have a connection to the waters, the autistic elves in their hypersensitivity discover new ways of moving that mimic the musics Ulmo still remembers in the Creation of the World.

Autistic elves finding a special kind of kinship with autistic humans and even dwarves, and wanting to help teach them how to be good and kind to themselves.  Autistic elves whose special interests are language or autism itself writing tomes in human languages for doctors on what they’ve found makes them happiest and healthiest throughout the ages.

Autistic elves with special interests in orc and goblin culture helping travelers learn how to spot the signs that they could be walking into a dangerous area and using their knowledge to help keep travelers safe.  

Autistic elves being a deeply positive part of elven society.