Whenever I Read LotR And Reach The Battle Between Eowyn And The Witch-king, I Get The Impression That

a tip for when you're looking for something

I, like many autistics (and, from what I've seen, like my friends the ADHDers), absolutely suck at finding things. Set it down on my desk, and poof, it's gone. If I'm looking for something I haven't seen in days? No luck.

But recently, my dad taught me a trick--don't look for the thing. Ask if what you see is what you want to find.

Looking for the pink sticky notes in your drawer? Don't just aimlessly go "where the fuck are my pink sticky notes?"; instead, examine each thing and say "what's that? Tape. What's that? A pen. What's that? A candy wrapper. What's that? OH IT'S MY PINK STICKY NOTES!"

Same concept for finding a certain book on your bookshelf. "Where's Lord of The Rings?" isn't very helpful; going "That's the Hunger Games, that's Cinder, and that's LOTR" is.

Same concept for food in the fridge. "That's milk, that's eggs, that's the cheese I was looking for".

Same concept for basically anything you're looking for. I don't know 100% why it works, but I'd have to guess that by eliminating the general "sweep around" type of searching and forcing yourself to actually look, your brain can't do the weird little "let everything fade into the clutter" thing that a lot of ND brains (and some NT brains!) do.

I hope this can help someone! :D

I've always followed this saying: hope for the best, but expect the worst.

So many people hear that, and they immediately assume I'm an extreme pessimist. Or they'll think that that saying is what makes me so depressed. It makes me extremely frustrated because I don't expect the worst in a "life sucks and the world hates me" kind of way.

I struggle when things go wrong, especially when it catches me off guard. Unexpected bad things can trigger big, out of control emotions, and for my autism (and cptsd) that's hard to deal with. It can lead to things being more traumatic than they need to be if I'm not prepared for the bad outcome. The whole situation feels out of control, and I don't always have a good sense of clarity when I'm having intense emotions or a meltdown, which makes my own response feel out of my control.

So, I try and expect and prepare for the worst. I talk myself through what I will do if something doesn't go the way I want. I make guesses on how I will feel, and talk myself through those emotions before they've ever even come up. I make plans on what my next steps will be, even if those next steps are simply time to recover from disappointment. All the while, I still am hoping for the best. I want things to go well, I want to succeed. I hold my breath, cross my fingers, and wish for things to turn out well.

Nobody ever understands this. I'm not trying to be a pessimist, I'm trying to accommodate for myself and make my life easier, to make my life happier. Life, by chance, is going to disappoint sometimes. I don't want to be blindsided and thrown into a tailspin. I want to be able to sit with myself and process, and move on. And I don't know why people can't understand that.

Ko-if link is on my page

As is my commission info

“In 1404, King Taejong fell from his horse during a hunting expedition. Embarrassed, looking to his left and right, he commanded, “Do not let the historian find out about this.” To his disappointment, the historian accompanying the hunting party included these words in the annals, in addition to a description of the king’s fall.“

LMFAOOOOOO rip to that guy

"Actually in his later writings Tolkien said Maglor died-" *slaps you across the face* fake news I saw him at Dunkin Donuts last night

Why did Galadriel make her star glass?

Did she have a vision of it’s future need?

Or is it like how those who have faced starvation compulsively hoard food?

“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.” Says someone who lived through the darkening of Valinor, when light far stronger than the sun and moon went out, and took all the safety and sanity with it.

Three ages of the world later she is moved to capture the echo of the Silmaril that sails the void in a glass vial. Despite all the horror that her family capturing light in artifacts has historically caused.

Just in case.

And then faced with the days growing darker, she faces the same choice her uncle did with his creations: hold on to paranoia, and keep it close. Or give it away, that it might go where it can do the most good.

And she chooses to let it go.

OR

Exile to middle earth wasn’t a problem, until her daughter needed to go to Valinor to heal. Now, she needs a way to get to Valinor when the Valar have not forgiven her.

Because she WILL see her daughter again.

She only knows of one thing that has gotten a ship to Valinor when it was fenced from the Noldor- A Silmaril, carried by Earendil. And so she sets about capturing the light of Earendil, that one day she might trade it for entrance and keep her pride.

But, turns out, the Valar sent a different test.

Working on (yet another) ATLA wip in which during the invasion Azula helps Zuko escape and goes with him (because her beloved dumbass of a brother clearly has not been paying attention to all her subtle warnings on how not to get dead and clearly needs a more direct approach at keeping him alive and mostly in one piece). And in the process of getting the fuck out of dodge, Bato who's been separated from everyone else ends up accidentally crashing their escape party along with Toph and the four of them end up on the run together.

Toph gets along with the two runaway royals who are as suspicious and untrusting if Bato as he is them...at least until the fire siblings unintentionally trauma dump about their fucked up childhood and Bato decides "I'm dad now" and adopts them against their will.

Eventually Azula and Zuko just give up on fighting it and are like "okay cool, you're gonna be Firelord after we kill Ozai and then we can just chill for like, five god damn seconds"

And anyway eventually they all meet up with the Gaang and Hakoda and co and it's just like...

Hakoda:

This is my daughter Katara: Master Water Bender, Teacher of the Avatar, brave and true of heart.

And my son Sokka: genius inventor, master strategist, unmatched in his fierceness and loyalty.

Bato:

This is my new daughter Azula. She'll sell your soul to satan for a fire flake and then use that fire flake to take over hell.

And this is my new son Zuko. He's faral and will probably bite you. Don't leave him alone too long or he'll probably end up trying to fight god again.

And this is Toph... I don't know if I've adopted her or if I'm being held hostage but either way I've started saving up for the next time I have to bail her out of jail.

I was thinking about how one of the defining features of both Fëanor and Fingolfin is anger. It’s more obvious with Fëanor (drawing a sword on his brother, swearing a very threateningly worded oath), but it’s also true for Fingolfin. Tolkien says Fingolfin was of a different temperament and yeah, maybe he was more restrained and less reckless, but still it was partially anger at Fëanor that pushed him to cross the Helcaraxë, and it was anger that made him go and confront Satan.

In contrast, their firstborn sons rarely do anything out of anger. Fingon’s driven by loyalty, friendship and compassion, even when he has every right to feel betrayed and angry. It is said he hated Morgoth only, but even that hatred isn’t shown on page through anger (defiance maybe but not anger). His last charge against Morgoth’s forces was born from hope unlike his father’s.

As for Maedhros, he laughs when he receives Thingol’s condescending answer, while his brothers are mad. I don’t think he felt angry even before/during the kinslayings but rather frustrated and desperate. While his deeds of surpassing valor during the Bragollach faintly resemble Fingolfin’s furious charge (his spirit burned like a white fire within / his eyes shone like the eyes of the Valar), the wording here sooner reminds me of the fire of life was hot within him (and whose ardour yet more eager burnt) used to describe Maedhros before. It’s fire of life / white fire for Maedhros and filled with wrath and despair and great madness of rage for Fingolfin.

Finarfin, though, is not angry like his brothers, he’s soft-spoken and peaceful, and nopes out of their mess pretty fast. At first glance, his firstborn son is like him. He’s friends with everyone, beloved by everyone, but I can’t forget the moment Finrod threw away his crown (such a great scene, it’s been living in my head since the moment I read it, probably because it was unexpected to see such a furious gesture from Finrod). It makes me think that he was more similar to his uncles that he’d like to believe, but he was slightly better at controlling his rage.

Anyway, post-canon/resurrected/reborn/survival AU/Halls of Mandos Fëanor is much more interesting to write because that's the cooldown time, that's the time for character development, for consequences, for despair, for moving onwards. Some people are so caught up in their own burning sense of single-minded purpose that they need to burn out before they can even begin to change.

I don't think people without sensory sensitivities understand that what I'm asking of them is no more than I ask of myself.

I practice ways to avoid setting off both my own sensitivities and the sensitivities of others. I've taught myself to chew and swallow as quietly as possible, to scoop ice cream and stir tea without clinking the metal spoon against the side of the ceramic cup, to not smack my lips, to never clear my throat unless there is no other option and then to only do it once or twice. I repress my stim of touching my nose and upper lip when in the presence of one of my siblings because for some reason it bothers them (they don't have sensory sensitivities so I'm not sure why they dislike it, but I'll respect their preference).

I don't choose to have these. I would get rid of them if I could, but no amount of exposure and trying to stay calm has vanquished them. My sensitivities come and go as they please, and some have been with me for as long as I remember.

Yet somehow when I ask others to not set off my sensitivities, I'm told that I am overly sensitive, lazy, and just trying to annoy them.