Intimacy And Empathy

Pedge Tweets PedgeIsPunk

Pedge says he's a little embarrassed, posting on social media for the first time, and doesn't want anyone to think he is....Pedro Pascal. He's just an enthusiast, who has spent an inordinate amount of time...researching this beautiful boy. I told him that we can keep all our innermost thoughts to ourselves, but it's okay to enjoy the beauty of imagination at a distance. He couldn't agree more. Check out the Cuddle Couch if you like RPF...

Series Masterlist

*thanks LittlsMsMorales Art Shop!

Euphoria

I've decided to try a therapeutic series that is purely self-indulgent, but might resonate with some other peeps. This series is going to be very emotional and highly descriptive. Whilst containing a fair amount of smut, relates more to concepts of intimacy and self-loathing so please proceed at your own risk.

Triggers: 18+, smut, female reader, oral s@x, difficulty w/ orgasm, self-hatred, pic is a mood board only, attempt at Spanglish, this is the Pedge Universe so no PP characters on the cuddle couch...

It had been about a month. You looked in the mirror, pouting as you ran your hands over your body. Failure. A month of sexy-time operations and you felt dry as a bone. Your friends had recommended all the latest literature, toys, lube and more, but the problem was you. You were always the problem. Not your dreamy boyfriend. If anything, he was the bright spot in a dark horizon of frustration. Endlessly patient, supportive and emotionally available, you were starting to wonder what you did to deserve him. Almost on cue, you caught a puppy dog expression nosing his way into the slightly ajar bathroom door.

“Occupied?” he mused, lightly drifting his fingers over your waist and eventually draping himself around you in a bear hug. You continued pouting at your reflection in the mirror. “That’s a lot of heavy sighing for a Saturday” he pondered, setting his chin on your shoulder teasingly.

He broke into a bit of a smirk, poking your rib, “Do we get to continue our weekend explorations? I know what an academic you are, and I’ve been doing some research…”

Your eyebrows raised quizzically as you twisted mid-hug to rest your hands on his chest. “Is there any way to make that NOT sound like porn?” you joked, resting your forehead on his sternum. You heard a soft rumble, breathing in a scent of cologne, nicotine and mint.  “I mean, that’s not the WORST idea I ever heard, but what do I need with porn when I’ve got such a beautiful guinea pig here in my bathroom?” You smiled into his chest, starting to sway together absentmindedly. 

“I know I’m not supposed to be apologizing…” you began, but didn’t get very far, before he gently lifted your chin up, coaxing your eyes to meet his. He ghosted his lips over yours and moved lower to nibbling your chin and dragging his lips over your neck. “Unless you’re sorry for making me miss the new episode of Euphoria, I’m not sure what we’re doing here…” he mumbled into your clavicle.

You gently pulled his face up with both hands to get a better look. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.” He huffed in comical frustration, widening his stance so he could get nose to nose with you, “Nina impaciente…good things cum to those who wait…” You forced a tight lipped smile. 

“Honestly, I know I’ve said so before, but it’s not a race. It’s not like washing the dishes, hermosa.” You snorted into your hands, covering your face with embarrassment.  “Maybe if we took a little break, and just enjoyed ourselves? Movie? Cuddle?” he started swaying again, lulling you into submission. You brightened slightly at the suggestion. His eyes twinkled with recognition, “Snacks?” Sold.

Ten minutes later, you were piled up on the couch, in your pjs, popcorn in hand. “Thank God! I’ve been thinking about Euphoria for like a WEEK!” Pedro teased, as you tossed a handful of popcorn at his face. Somehow this man was forcing you to relax despite your own insecurities. How did he do that? You settled your feet on his lap, as he immediately began a gentle massage. “Let the suffering BEGIN!” he noted, grabbing the remote, eyes alight with interest. Your mouth began to twist in amusement at his golden retriever-like optimism. The lights of the tv flashed across his attentive expression. Such a nice profile, and his shoulders were so ridiculously broad. You felt a light throbbing as your womanhood tried to communicate through Morse Code. Shifting under the blankets, you pinched your legs together in protestation. 

“You okay over there?” a voice interrupted, now moving his thumb up your leg and resting on your thigh. “Just getting comfortable” you squeaked, confused at your body’s unpredictable reactions. The two of you had all but conjured spells and incantations to reach your now elusive climax, but that didn’t seem to dim your desire or confusion. “Why does she insist on TORTURING herself???” Pedro now exclaimed, throwing a gummy bear at the tv.

Why did she? Why does she? Your lower lip began to tremble involuntarily. It’s my body. Why can’t I force it into submission? Why is it so hard to surrender? A big fat, salty tear dripped down your face, now buttering your popcorn.

“Hey, hey…what’s happening over there? The episode hasn’t even started yet…” Pedro’s eyebrows wrinkled in concern as he reached over to catch the newly falling cascade. It was all too much, as your face distorted in pain, amid squeaks and sniffles. Cupping your face with both hands he pleaded quietly, “Please let me help, hermosa…” grabbing your waist and pulling your hiccuping body close to his. “Can we try things my way, please?” His weight was comfortingly boxing you in and anchoring you down. “I know you want to be a ‘wham bam thank you ma’am' kind of gal, but some of us need a little more coaxing…” he joked as you dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me” you acquiesced. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you. What we’re looking for is a different kind of ‘Euphoria’” he chided. Then, honest to God, the man booped you on the nose with his. Reaching over for the remote he silenced the tv, and interlacing his hand in yours, he locked eyes with you, slowly drawing you into the bedroom. “It’s time to take our time”.

This euphoric evening was eventually termed, “The Great Awakening” but it didn’t start out that way. As he seductively removed your oversized sweater you stood slightly shivering, awkwardly covering your breasts.

“Your audience is requesting more VIP access” he teased, dragging his fingers over your collarbone and down your sternum. Rolling your eyes comically you helped pull his white t-shirt up and over his head, revealing his smooth, honeyed skin. Moving his hands lower he pulled at your sweat pants to reveal a red lace thong you had desperately purchased at Victoria’s Secret. His mouth went slack in surprise. “What do we have here?” he rasped, cupping the orbs of your ass and bringing your hips dangerously close to his steadily hardening self.

“Clothes make the woman?” you sniffled, sighing heavily into his chest and resuming your characteristic couple’s sway.

“This time, a LACK of clothes may make the woman…” he joked, wrapping his arm around your waist and taking your hand in his. You felt yourself melt into his body as you swayed in a slow dance at the foot of the bed. Reaching down, you attempted to finger his boxer shorts, but he deftly maneuvered out of the way.

“No hermosa, we’re doing you this evening…all evening.” he whispered, now inches from your ear. Shuddering in his embrace, you tried to slow your breathing, closing your eyes. 

“That’s it…No more racing to the finish line, let the pleasuring begin…” he growled, setting you down on the bed and stroking one finger from the top of your forehead to the soft flesh of your inner thigh, where he started lightly kneading in circles. A shaky breath brought another shudder to your body as he began kissing your knees, thighs, hips and stomach. Drawing your hands above your head, he gently pinned you to the mattress, moving his knee just below your crotch. “I’m going to kiss you now, for an impossibly long time, so get a big breath…” he smiled, and before you could chuckle, he did just that. Tongue. Teeth. Lips. Warmth. Honeyed sweetness and moaning breaths. It was the exposition to a beautiful poem, tumbling verse upon verse. Interlocking lips, stuttering sighs, quick intake of air and hands, hands, hands. Hands everywhere, dripping down your side, feather light touch to your face. Palming your stomach and thumbing your belly button.

Your entire body bucked underneath him as you felt pools of desire gravitate downward. You gasped into his mouth as he massaged your breasts, pinching both nipples in a firm tease. He started licking into your mouth, coaxing moan after moan as you began to lose yourself in the rhythm. White noise. White hot. Searing white heat, as your mind went blank and your body writhed in ecstasy. You mewled like a child as his hands and mouth intentionally moved south, nibbling at your tits and sucking a quick trail from your sternum to your navel. 

Heavy lidded eyes flew open in confused distress as you propped yourself up on your forearms, “Wait, I’m not ready down there! She’s not…uh….trim…” you sputtered, trying to form a coherent sentence. It was nearly comical catching him with tongue poised and eyes wide as saucers. Quickly catching his breath he teased, “The best part of a treasure hunt is when sex marks the spot…”. Eyeing him with incredulity you were about to offer a quick retort until he licked a long stripe from the base of your fourchette all the way up to your clit…and you were gone. 

Afterglow Series

I love the throw down as much as the next gal, but I love the "Afterglow" even more. Excited to attempt this sexy time experimentation, writing for some of the Pedro Boys with variety in shorter snippets. Wanted a therapeutic outlet for our great and not so great "O"'s. Mostly self-indulgent intimacy writing, though Pedge is VERY excited...

Phoenix Rising (Javi Edition) A Different Happy Ending (Marcus Pike Edition) Workplace Benefits (Javier Pena Edition)

Treasure Hunt for Missing Post

Pedge the Pirate and I are on a Halloween Treasure Hunt for a missing post. We remember seeing fics that were catalogued as a VHS Rental Library, including some very fun trailers. Does anyone know where this treasure is?

Also final day to "Trick or Treat"!

Moody Thespian

As a theater professional, some of my favorite interviews with Pedro Pascal are when he talks about early performance opportunities, theatrical inspiration and the craft. I'm sure you've heard them, but be sure to revisit:

Talk Art Screen Actors Guild Talk Easy Podcast

We could obviously listen to his voice all day, but it reminds me why I'm passionate about the arts in the first place, and how much inspiration is readily available...if you're looking for it.

The Boopage Wars

*thanks @thecutestgrotto for the cool dividers!

Afterglow Series Workplace Benefits

*thank you @almostfoxglove for the sexy moodboard, I'm inspired!

The Afterglow Series is more focused on intimacy and unexpected situations, so please imbibe accordingly. Javier Pena is so voracious, I wanted to explore what would happen if he met his match.

Triggers: Prostitute POV, empowered woman in a safe transactional relationship w/ Javier Pena that evolves into more vulnerability, a little physical aggression, profanity, alcohol use, aftercare, crying (there's always crying), P in V, a little more smutty than most of my stuff, more valiant attempts at Spanish however inaccurate...

Series Masterlist

You loved your job. It wasn’t the type of thing you could easily discuss with your sister and the futbol moms. But you felt empowered as fuck, and prostitutes were more protected than ever. To be honest, you didn’t really think of yourself in those terms. What you thought of was the money and the sense of power you felt, holding important men, quite literally by the balls. And Javier Pena was one of them.

You’re not sure when, but at some point, things had begun to shift. At first, he came over for a quick whiskey and a fuck. And then one time, he arrived on your doorstep, already drunk and cuddly as a teddy bear. You don’t think he even remembered, leaving $100 bucks on your nightstand and thanking you for a “good time”. There was a routine of sorts, and sometimes he was flat out aggressive, but you never had a problem with that. As long as he paid, you were happy to incur a few bumps and bruises, and knowing he left happy, your income was relatively secure. But last week, he came by, perfectly sober and ready…to talk? It wasn’t a DTR, that would be ludicrous. He just wanted to talk. You kept trying to lure him to bed, but he endlessly deflected, making you laugh till you nearly snorted iced tea out of your nose, ordering  tacos from the seedy joint downstairs, and still leaving $100 bucks on the nightstand after you fell asleep watching tv. What the non-fuck was going on?

Today seemed like the routine as per usual. He’d shown up on your doorstep, raring to go, whiskey in hand and lust pouring from his steely gaze. Several breaks in, he’d enjoyed himself profusely and you found yourself being pounded from the back, as his sweaty hips thrashed against you loudly. Until….you had a problem. You were cumming.

The day had been fine, you’d already had several clients and were looking forward to seeing Javier in the evening. Feeling relaxed and unfocused you hadn’t realized your body was careening out of your control until this very moment. A quick surprising breath caught in your throat as you attempted to stifle a low moan…

“Que?” Javier questioned, as though telepathically linked to every nerve in your body.

You tried to play it off as one of your many performances, “Oh Javi more! So wet, so wet…” until you realized those statements weren’t a fabrication. Your legs were already trembling and the room was starting to spin around you.

“You like that, pobrecita?” he kept a relentless pace, jack hammering into you from behind. “You never tell me what you like…” he grunted appraisingly.

Your eyelids fluttered shut of their own volition as the silvery thread of arousal coursed through your veins fluidly. This can’t be happening, your mind stuttered, attempting to divorce yourself from the powerful sensations ebbing through your body. You prided yourself on your professionalism, but quite honestly, you didn’t get into this career for…sex. Most of the men that came to you were escaping a disappointing home life or were otherwise sexually unsuccessful, so their last concern was your pleasure, and that was fine for you. No reason you needed to be vulnerable in the workplace. The money was compensation enough and you could pleasure yourself on your own time. But Javier Pena wasn’t a regular guy, and when it came to sex, he was actually good at it. He came for his own pleasure, but that included yours, and he was down to try anything. Honestly, it was just a matter of time, but you had remained irresolute and focused up until now. And now, you were cumming.

The harder you tried to swat the idea away, the stronger the impulse grew. Small tendrils of pleasure that pulsed at your core, stuttered breaths that caught in your throat, whimpers of ecstasy that escaped from your mouth; Javier was devouring it like a man starved.

“There she is…” he drawled, grabbing you by the throat and hoisting you backwards until your back was pressed against his sweat glistened chest. “Are you going to cum for me, hermosa?” he panted into your ear, as you shook your head slowly.

“No, no, no” you had dropped all pretense of performance, realizing your body seemed to be acting of its own accord. You dropped your hands to your clit, rubbing in quick circles now desperate to get off.

“Mine” Javier growled into your ear, grabbing your wrists and yanking them around his neck as he angled up into you, harder still. You cried out in anguished ecstasy, confused at the unbidden sensations tingling throughout your being.

“M-m-more…” you began to mumble incoherently, no longer concerned with the loss of control, and only focused on your pleasure and nothing else.

Javi tipped you forward violently, re-situating himself in a seated position, and then abruptly pulled you back onto his lap, pistoning up into you at the most  delectable angle. Your entire body seized up in a pre-orgasmic throb. He gripped you tightly, calloused fingers palming your breasts, kneading and pinching as all thought left your mind completely. You were a ray of light, pleasure itself, his heat sheathed inside you, piercing the darkness and eradicating everything else. You’re not even sure if you spoke out loud, but the primal awareness that you were cumming, clouded time itself, until there was no denying it anymore. You threw your head back against his shoulder and cried in a silent scream, softening into a guttural moan of euphoria. Your body was fluid, liquid gold, dripping and melting over his hard figure. He worked you through your release until you pulled at the nape of his neck, weak with overstimulation. He drew his palm down the front of your salt soaked body and then flipped you around in a tangle of arms and legs, nearly collapsing on top of you, lowering you to the bed.

In the dull recesses of your mind you felt the throb of embarrassment, but not yet cognizant enough to grasp it with any enthusiasm. Holding onto your cloud of your contentment, you were vaguely aware of Javi’s absence, assuming he had left the appropriate amount of money on the bed stand and made a quick exit. You felt your heat twitching and throbbing with the loss of his presence, but thankful he had left you to your own mortification. It had been so long since you felt comfortable enough to enjoy yourself with someone else, you were nearly shocked it was still possible. You swallowed dryly, blinking away the tears. Damn endorphins, you sniffled, freezing as a figure appeared in the doorway with a washcloth and water.

“Drink, hermosa” he commanded as your eyes widened to saucer shape. He was still here. Was he angry? Did you just lose your best customer, and this was the swan song? Appraising your silence he brought the glass of water up to your parched lips tentatively, eyeing you with slight concern. You started shivering slightly as your body attempted to regulate itself into normalcy. “Are you hurt?” he demanded, sitting on the edge of the bed and lifting you to a seated position so you could drink.

You shook your head slowly, devoid of intelligence as the tears began to dry on your cheeks stickily. You flinched with surprise as he began rubbing down your legs and mid-section with the washcloth. “Shh, shh…” he shushed, as though coddling a small child as your body relaxed with relief and exhaustion.

“You don’t have to do that, Javi” you muttered softly, grabbing his wrist gently, but as yet unable to meet his eyes.

“Porque, eso cuesta mas?” he pondered, a small smirk shadowing his countenance.

“I’m not charging you for tonight” you murmured, turning your head away from him in defeat, until you felt him reach around and draw your chin back towards him.

He drew his thumb across your lower lip, not saying a word, a pained expression pinching at his eyebrows unexpectedly. “Inestimable” he whispered, almost to himself, kissing you lightly on the lips and withdrawing to the bathroom. You sunk down on the bed, unsure of what might happen next. Your ears were still ringing from the high, and your body felt like a heavy weight drawing you further into the mattress. You heard the soft click as Javier shut off the lights and crawled into bed with you tentatively.

“Puedo quedarme un poco mas?” he paused, his body hovering above yours.

You bit your lower lip in the dark, pondering the uncharted territory. No one ever asked to stay. Should you charge for that? Your thoughts were becoming more muddled and your eyelids heavier still, as you wordlessly tucked your body into the crook of his side, huffing a small sigh of defeat. No more thinking. Just sleeping. Javi wrapped his arms around you, breathing deeply at the crown of your forehead. 

“Smell good” he mumbled into your hair, as you started to drift into darkened oblivion. He was rocking you ever so slightly, and you didn’t have the energy to make any arguments whatsoever. You hadn’t felt this content in a very long time.

Swallowing dryly, your eyes blinked into the sunlight, hearing the motorcycles putter to life in the streets, and the vendors selling Cafe Caribe for the morning commuters. You sat up abruptly, reaching sideways to feel the cool sheets under your fingertips, noticing the hundred dollar bill grinning at you from the bed side table. Next to it, you saw the small cardboard cup, steaming with the chocolate aroma of your morning cafecito, note scribbled hastily across it…

“Thanks for the f@ck, hermosa. See you next week”. The small heart drawn in the corner winked at you as you smiled to yourself.

You loved your job.

*thanks @samspenandsword for the dividers!

Through the Valley

Thank you to @auteurdelabre for our beautiful coloring book! Pedge and I have been in mourning, and trying to avoid Joel Miller at all costs. Imagine my suprise when I discovered this image felt pretty Joel-coded. I paired it with the lyrics as sung by Ashley Johnson...

I walk through the valley of the shadow of death And I fear no evil because I'm blind to it all And my mind and my gun they comfort me Because I know I'll kill my enemies when they come Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life And I will dwell on this earth forevermore Said, I walk beside the still waters and they restore my soul But I can't walk on the path of the right because I'm wrong Well, I came upon a man at the top of a hill Called himself the savior of the human race Said he come to save the world from destruction and pain But I said, "How can you save the world from itself?" 'Cause I walk through the valley of the shadow of death And I fear no evil because I'm blind Oh, and I walk beside the still waters and they restore my soul But I know when I die my soul is damned

*never damned to me honey

@littlemisspascal 

@lizette50 @beefrobeefcal @sawymredfox @anelva

@wordywarriorwrites @burntheedges @inept-the-magnificent @timelordfreya 

@schnarfer @devineconjuring @mermaidgirl30 @galaxyedging @joelalorian

@joelmillerisapunk @jennaispunk @sheepdogchick3 @marcus-is-my-muse @guiltyasdave 

@copperhalfcent @bluesweaters15 @drewharrisonwriter @darkheartgatita

@harriedandharassed @brittmb115 @confusedpuffin @yorksgirl @quicax3

@shaunasflannel @shinyanchorobject

The One That's Personal

Triggers:

This is a WAY overshare, but if Pedge and I keep encountering all these naked bodies on Tumblr, this seems mild in comparison. Therapist Pedge has RPF vibes, but he's really just an avatar that helps me process scary or unfamiliar feelings...AND we have Pedro Pascal for everything else...A little personal chat about the asexuality spectrum, profanity, SH, pleasuring yourself, post-hysterectomy health problems, and all other things Papi Pascal....

Oh wow. Okay, leave it to Pedge and I to have a surprising sexual experience and immediately sit down to write something about it. My personal journey has been a bit meandering, but as I've discovered over my 45 years of existence, EVERYONE is on a unique journey, so I'm no more inhuman or ill-fitting then the rest of humanity.

I didn't pleasure myself until I was in my 30's, and there wasn't anything immediately pleasurable about it. It was a solid 2 weeks of trial and error, confusion and self-loathing until I discovered a buried component of myself and breathed a relative sigh of relief.

It's odd being a virgin, without a uterus or cervix...at the age of 45. I feel like a f*ckin' unicorn. While I had enjoyed a solid decade+ of pleasurable self-moments, it was pretty perfunctory. I've nurtured many a crush, but I'm not sure if there is a bridge between my physical desires of self and my emotional/spiritual desires from others. So I've started experimenting with a tentative ace label...or more accurately, a "sexy celibate"...But until I had my hysterectomy I thought I could just jam myself into the standard heterosexual, Western convention of relationships, marriage and children, receiving the emotional support and structure I wanted, while deftly sidestepping any sexual "eccentricities".

But after I had my hysterectomy everything was harder. At first I blamed my non-existent cervix, and employed more...vibrational means of enjoyment, and that was a revelation. Seriously, anyone that wants to self-experiment--Pedge and I couldn't encourage you more.

But after about a year, my pursuits started to feel more self-destructive than self-celebratory. Honestly, it felt like my SH narrative of yore, as I tried to vibrate my way into feeling human. Feeling self-acceptance? Feeling "normal". Soon, I was dealing more with pre-existing health problems and a hyptertonic pelvic floor, and all my toys went to the nearest landfill (can't donate those to Goodwill). My body was crying out for self-revelation, but I still don't always know how to give it to her.

2025 is my year-o-health and it's had a bumpy start. Four different doctors and I'm mostly making progress with my own research, extremely regimented diet and new routine. But after several weeks, I was feeling hungry in more ways than one. Maybe I had drowned out my still, small voice in such a vibrationally overwhelming and confusing world.

So my experiment resumed....with the F4 Trailer. Mind you, I didn't realize that at the time...All I can tell you is, I woke up in a foggy haze to Pedge's midrift digitally nuzzling against my tum-tum and decided I wanted more, and I f*cking got it. For the first time in my 45 years of existence I came under my own fingers, and we all have the F4 Trailer to thank for it.

That's not EXACTLY true, though that interview was a sight for sore eyes. Honestly, that overwhelming outfit of pattern and joy with the smallest bit of tummy peaking through....really just pushed me over the edge. Here is a man who seems to have joyously accepted himself and I bet I can learn how to do the same.

So here we are. Nothing has really changed. Just one, single, possibly ace, emotionally and spiritually confused level 45 human who joins the rest of the world in loving Pedro Pascal...and maybe getting one step closer to really loving themselves :)

It was very good for me.

And Pedge approves.

Happy Halloween Pirate Pedge!

Oh my! With the boopage wars I quite nearly forgotten our Halloween Poll for Pedge's costume! I think y'all were inspired by this SAG Awards classic look and voted for Pirate Pedge! Pedge and I managed to write a quick limerick for anyone feeling saucy. I hope your Halloween yields excellent booty. Aarrrrrrgh!

Triggers: smut abounds plentifully in this bizarre Halloween RPF

There once was a Pirate named Pedge Who fancied your fancy to edge He traveled the seas His head twixt your knees Your treasure trove he’d give a stretch. On Sundays you’d walk his hard plank Your tooshie he’d give a quick spank He’d shout, “‘Vast there mate!” Your lips penetrate Or watch as you had a quick wank Pirate Pedge never is snooty His hours he’ll spend seeking booty While walking the deck Your pussy he’ll wreck Considering it true beauty’s duty His sword is beyond earthly measure When plowing canals for their treasure When seeking medallions He’s one sexy stallion And always cums after YOUR pleasure On Mondays when feeling quite bold You like a quick tease and a scold He’s captain to you You like playing “crew” And always do just what you’re told. While searching your map for the “X” He’ll spot the right spot during sex Like coins for your slot He’ll leave you besot And edge you till happily vexed Discarding his fancy eye patch His lips to your lips he will latch The seas are quite violent But you are quite pliant And love when that itch will get scratched So here’s to a holiday haul And hoping we all have a ball Whether treating or tricking Licking or flicking A Happy Halloween for ALL!