This Is By Far My Favorite Safety/warning Sign Btw. They Really Went Off With This One

Transcendence 🌌

some cats don't like to be touched and that's fine. that's their perogative and I respect it

what advice would you give to a 19 year old?

just bc you find someone hot or funny doesn’t mean you should immediately date them, just because someone gives you attention doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you, being 19 is not “old” and you should embrace it rather than dread it, work out now so your future self can thank u later, use your planner, network w your professors because you’ll never know when you’ll need their connections in the future, stop fucking comparing, everyone’s secretly struggling, no one is worth putting on a pedestal, decentralize dating in general tbh, having a crush is fine but don’t obsess, interrogate yourself on what you truly want, explore new things (stop sticking so religiously to your comfort zone), nothing on your phone is that deep, have a plan for the future (it’s okay if it changes), put effort into friendships but don’t chase people, put yourself out there because it really does amount to something, decentralize luxury brands bc that shit is overrated as fuck, journal more, experiment w fashion and perfume and your general style, having social media is ok but spend less time on your phone in general, not everyone will like you and that is okay, you won’t like everyone and that is okay, don’t take people’s reactions so personally, don’t take yourself so seriously, invest in therapy

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The Red Knight by AmiThompson_h

Updated 12/1/21 

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would you pat the cat

“Range Life” by Jordan Bolton

Part of Scenes from Imagined Films Issue #1, available on Etsy

The two tracks werent synced right and it sounds like everything’s gone to shit at MTT Resort

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best