Kermit For Pope

Man, this is interesting! DC has so many characters it's hard to know all of them

Do my DPxDC brothers know about Phantom Girl????

Just wanted to check in with my DP x DC homies and make sure ya’ll know there’s a hero called Phantom Girl in Dc comics whose powers are all about intangibility and blowing shit up with “Negative zone” energy……

Now I’m just saying I think her and Danny would be friends and or they would beef over who has to go and change their names. She’s also an alien girl who was tragically stranded in another dimension for several decades who has aged strangely and no longer fits into the hierarchy of her home planet! So like you know if ur into space Danny vibes.

Anyway just wanted to make sure ya’ll knew, have a good day!

(art at the top done by me, art at da bottom done by Dc comics artist)

Look, maybe I am not looking in the right places, but can we talk about how shady the Fenton's "parenting style" must look to everyone else in Amity? Maybe not cannonically, but the fandom really needs to start thinking about it.

We should talk about how easily it is to confuse vigilantism with abuse.

I want Danny with unexplained bruises every other day and the A listers assuming the worst.

I want Mr Lancer seeing Danny start struggling with school for, apparently, no reason and see him sleep on class and realize those are signs of abuse.

I want people to see how protective Sam and Tucker are and realize there's something they are protecting him from.

I need Valerie to see Danny run off at any sign of ghosts and suddenly "oh Fenton doesn't look scared of ghosts" and it clicks in her mind that maybe he's running from his parents.

I want people to see Danny do uncanny things, or have too much pain tolerance, or brush off whatever Dash came up with today and think "huh, that doesn't sound right"

I want the metaphor for child abuse in the show to become a little bit more real in the narrative. Is that too much to ask? I want them hearing the horror stories of the Fenton's cooking and start putting together that "oh, maybe they don't actually... mind experimenting on themselves" and who's to say the same fate didn't happen to Danny or Jazz?

Who's to say where evil scientists stops and child endangerment starts? And if suddenly, Amity Park has started to make Danny's life a little bit easier by making the Fenton's life harder, well, correlation and causation are one hell of a drug.

Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

My babies!

Soot and Bubblegum haven't shown any behavioural indicators that they're a boy or a girl, I think Hot Chocolate might be a girl because of how she's a bit smaller and a little bit nicer, and Gideon has been cooking and chasing the others around since the first week I got them, and now's he's guarding the nest and being a dad

Now, Icecream is difficult because they're big and chunky, they coo and they chase the others around, so I said to my dad "oh yeah, he's definitely a boy" but then my dad said that he saw them sitting on the nest, which Gideon would have chased off if they weren't his mate, and they can't both be males because someone had to lay fertile eggs. So my ideas are that either Icecream is a female who just looks and acts like a boy, or, Gideon is just a weirdo who let another boy sit on the nest? I don't think pigeons have ever been seen to be poly, since they mate for life, but maybe I just got some weird ones.

Regardless, I love all of them

I have pet pigeons (they're my favourite birds if you couldn't tell) and this little fluffy idiot has decided to have a baby in fucking winter. It wasn't even warm when she laid the egg, it's been cold for like 2 months and I'm so worried because the baby looks so cold, and I know that Gideon is being a good dad and sitting on the nest, keeping the baby warm, but still.

The little baby is adorable though, it's past the pink worm stage and is in the bedraggled penguin stage, and judging by the colour I think the mum is Hot Chocolate, but you can't really tell until the feathers are like, fluffy

So I have a private little au idea where Damian is mad at Bruce for being unfaithful to his wife and Bruce is like "chum, I'm not married" and Damian gives him the dirtiest look and goes to his room to grab a photo album of pictures from Bruce and Talia's wedding (since the place Nanda parbat is based on is in Pakistan, it should probably be a Pakistani wedding, but I prefer a festival like indian wedding, it's up to you) and Bruce is like "what, that was a festival" and Damian is like "you literally signed a marriage contract" and Bruce is like "no, that was a treaty to say that the league of assassins would stay out of Gotham"

And anyway that's the day Bruce learns that if he divorces Talia he technically is allowing the league of assassins into gotham

Excellent work, go give it a read, link is in the comments

the batfamily getting pulled over and Alfred telling the officer that there’s guns in the car and Jason immediately thinking everyone is narc-ing on him instead of Alfred just being strapped (legally) to high and holy heaven is still SO funny to me (and it’s my fic lmao)

I love this idea!

Danny is Jon Constantine's child but not in the way you'd expect. He's the biological child of Maddie and Jack Fenton. When Danny stepped into the portal and got zapped three things happened: He got electrocuted and his DNA/cells were fused with ectoplasm, He died, and a floating shard of a particular Laughing Magician's soul in the Ghost Zone "miraculously" (Thanks Clockwork) was right next to where the portal punched through the dimensions, getting sucked into Danny's soul along with the ectoplasm that binded to his body.

Danny is the ghost child of Constantine... somehow.

I can just imagine Bruce trying to figure out how to bribe the IRS to keep doing whatever the fuck they're doing. He has no idea what it is that has Jason so happy, and how it's weirdly happened at the same time as John Constantine is complaining about the IRS (he isn't even american) but he is trying his best not to ruin it

DCxDP - Death and Taxes

Broke college student but also the Ghost King Danny looking at the stack of complaint forms in his inbox about people cheating death. In a stroke of sleep deprived inspiration, he issues a royal decree that anyone who has properly died before (I.e biologically dead, not just clinically dead) is still a citizen of the Infinite Realms, even if they were resurrected. And have to pay income tax to the Crown.

He establishes the Infinite Realms Revenue Service, recruits the ghosts of some meticulous accountants and sends them after all the assholes who think they can escape Death and Taxes. Starting with the worst offenders (ie those who have escaped death the longest/most often). Your tax bracket scales with how many times you died.

Just picture Ra's al-Ghul, in the middle of giving some speech to his assassin cult when this Phil Coulson looking ghost dude shows up behind him to "discuss the back taxes he owes to the Crown".

Every magic user worth their salt is suddenly swamped with messages from panicked villains and heroes who are trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to get out of this. Constantine is sweating bullets.

Danny hires Valerie to do mortal side "casework", because a, she's just as saddled with student debt as he is b, has worked fast food and knows how to handle asshole customers c, doesn't take shit from anybody.

Imagine Vandal Savage, Felix Faust and Red Hood awkwardly sitting in a waiting room with a stack of documents each, ready for their number to be called so they can dispute their claims. Being called in and utterly flummoxed at the unflappable, bored young woman at the desk who somehow has files on everything about you - birth record, death record(s), who you killed and when records... now declare your income as a crime lord/dictator/sorcerer, sir.

Meanwhile Danny is planning on how he can allocate the taxes to open a soup kitchen for Lunch Lady to work at and similar shit. He is determined to be a good king, dammit!

He a little confused but he's got the spirit