Dick: man, I don't know why duke has such a problem with me being a cop, like you guys don't mind?
Tim: wait you're a cop?! We thought you were a stripper!
Dick: what? You thought I was a stripper? All of you?!
The other bats:...
Bruce: I didn't want to make you feel insecure.
Dick: Alfred, you didn't think I was a stripper right?
Alfred: There is nothing wrong with such a line of work, you needn't feel like you have to lie.
i just think that Duke Thomas should like oink at Dick Grayson. I think that when Dick tries to come in Duke’s room and have like a weird sibling heart-to-heart, Duke’s like “u got a warrant, pig???” and Dicks like 👁️👄👁️. Duke passive-aggressively hands Dick a doughnut. And Dick doesn’t rrly get shit for being a cop/having been a cop bc most ppl assume he’s a stripper so this is new to him.
Oh no,,,
They hurt the baby yeti. It's his first day on earth and they insult him? Disregard his advice? Fire him because they are small minded humans who thinks that they know everything?
Phantom is going to chew them out for this
So! The Watchtower's Medical Bay is a hub of constant Activity. With the number of Heroes who work under the Justice League, there are always injuries, health check-Ups, and illnesses that need healing.
But with the amount of Variant Biologies that those Heroes have, it's always a guessing game as to how to help them best. Some Metahumans react positively to penicillin, but others react like it's their Kryptonite. Some Aliens have anatomy similar to Humans, others are so different you can't tell the Stomach from the Bladder.
So when they hired a New Doctor for the Medical Bay, they had to run him through an entire Course on Variant Biologies and how best to treat specific Heroes. It was long and difficult to remember fully, but it was necessary for him to know.
But then the new Doctor started correcting Them.
"Actually, Martian's react better to the Syrup of Eucalyptus Plants better than Penicillin, since Eucalyptus is very similar to a medicinal plant from Mars which they used in many of their antibiotics."
"I don't think just pumping double doses of sedative is the best way to calm down a Speedster, that could have adverse effects on their body. Perhaps try Psychic Intervention? Their minds move a Mile a Second, but if you can calm them down their bodies will follow suit."
"Of course you use Micro-Doses of Kryptonite to operate on Superman! What else would you do?! I don't know, maybe ask JLD to enchant your Equipment to make use of Kryptonian suseptiblity to Magic? The Kryptonite is just gonna give him Cancer!"
Of course the Doctors didn't take kindly to being rudely corrected by a newbie, and Fired him on his first day.
Then a few days later their usual Treatments don't work, and they decide to give those strategies the Quack Doctor gave them out of desperation.
And Lo and Behold, they work! Martian Manhunter is fully healed and feels much better than the previous times he has needed surgery. Apparently they used a different Antibiotic that worked better with his Biology. Which was incredible, how had they figured it out?
Another Doctor you say? One who was experienced on Martian Biology and Medicinal History? He would very much like to meet with the man!
...
What do you mean you fired him for talking back?!
Please please please write more of this
After a long night of patrolling around Amity, Danny damn near collapsed onto his bed. His back ached from a stray ectoblast and his eyes felt heavier than a mountain. Technus had done something to the technology around the town. At random a piece of technology would suddenly go rogue with a virus the ghost implemented. The virus would make the item try to capture anyone in the vicinity using any means necessary. So Danny had been doing regular patrols around town to catch anyone who needed help.
That also means that his sleeping time had been radically reduced. Without even the energy to lift his head, Danny patted around for his phone. Once he finally found the device he hefted himself on his side with a groan. It was a new phone since he was the first casualty in Technus’ plan. Thankfully, Sam had given him another so his parents wouldn’t try to make him one. (Who knows what kind of ‘anti-ghost’ protection they would’ve put on it.)
Tucker had promised that he was working on fixing the virus going around. Hopefully, he had some kind of good news to share. As soon as Danny went to message him he realized he hadn’t downloaded their chat app to the new phone. With a sigh he knew that he would just have to use normal texting but with careful codewords.
Putting in Tucker's number with a yawn, Danny sent the first message.
‘It’s your undead bro. The night out tonight was killer. Any news on the techie progress?’
Danny smashed his face into his bed with a sigh after hitting send. Knowing Tucker he was probably face first in his laptop and won’t notice the message for a bit. He could probably just close his eyes and…
Before he could even consider taking a nap there was a generic jingle from the phone. He should really get to fixing that. Tuck deserves a much better ringtone than some bells.
‘Nothing noteworthy yet. It's harder to crack than normal but nothing I can't handle. Do you need me to take over for tomorrow?’
‘Also why aren't you using our chat?’
Danny squinted at the screen with a slight frown. It had been a while since Sam or Tucker tried to go out in his place. They learned pretty quickly that it made Danny way too anxious to have them out there without him. Something about not being there to protect them if they got over their heads made Danny’s chest ache.
And of course, Tucker noticed that he wasn’t using the app he made. It was a bit glitchy at times, but what tech wasn’t when it came to Danny? Not only was it secure, but it became an easier way for them to establish a timeline for filing. Jazz had been the one who realized that they didn’t have steady information on not just the rouges but the events of the fights. It became a staple to write out what happened and what went wrong after hearing her lecture about it.
‘Don’t have it on this phone yet. And you know how I feel about you being out there.’
Danny watched the screen for a bit, waiting to see if Tucker would reply immediately again. His mom probably caught him on his computer all day and was forcing him to separate himself from it for a while. It wasn’t an uncommon thing for Ms. Foley to do.
‘Yeah yeah, Mr. Possessive. Do you need me to walk you through how to get it again?’
Snorting at the pun, Danny easily replied. If Tucker was feeling sassy enough to joke about that, then he would push some buttons back. It was a simple banter that they sometimes fell into.
‘You know how I get with technology. I’m more likely to break something. Especially since this phone is so new. Whatever happened to flip phones?’
Danny snickered to himself at the message. Tucker had an ongoing war between new and old technology. While he loved his PDA he also admired some of the top-of-the-line devices. It was like the past and the future mixed in his friend's room. He would gush about the new devices but also gush about the older ones that still had functions that the newer ones lost. But flip phones? That was the only technology he knew that Tucker hated. It was the worst of both worlds for him. He’d been so excited when Danny’s flip phone was bricked by Technus’ virus.
‘I’m going to ignore that you said that.’
‘Also there’s going to be trouble in the park near you tomorrow. I’m already planning on going. Do you want in?’
Scooting up from his lounged position, Danny started to write back his reply.
‘Of course, I’ll be there. Don’t need you to go in alone and join the dead. Unusual for him to leave his plans there though. That’ll be fun to write in the report.’
The image of Jazz reading about that brought a smile to Danny’s face. She always found it interesting when one of the ghosts would change a long-time behavior. The fact that Technus was able to keep this rather on the down low would guarantee her interest. He was always one to blatantly announce his plans to the world to hear. Even though it’s a bit of a pain that he’s learning to keep things to himself it would peak Jazz’s curiosity, which made it bearable.
‘It is weird. And don’t remind me about the report. I still have the one from last week to write and I don’t want to do it.’
That made Danny laugh to himself a little. Last week the lunch lady tried to embrace the Ultra-Recyclo Vegetarian life. In the overflow of food, Tucker had gotten trapped in veggies. He was visibly green from having to eat some to escape. Sam had been excited about it at first before she saw how much food was being wasted. She ended up getting attacked for trying to explain the damage overconsumption and food waste could bring.
‘You looked like you wanted to vomit afterward. Well, at least we are prepared this time. We don’t always get that chance.’
Danny stretched out his stubborn limbs, feeling himself try to sink into the darkness. He’d have to end the conversation sooner rather than later. At this rate, he wouldn’t have a choice on whether he was taking a nap or not. At the familiar sound of bells, he looked back down at the conversation.
‘Unfortunately. Well, I’ll be finished by the time we meet at the park. I know you usually like to sleep after a long night.’
The reply made Danny’s core feel fuzzy with happiness. Tucker always knows him so well. He doesn’t know what he did to get such a fantastic best friend. It was at times like these that Danny knew he was so glad that they were in this together. With two of his best friends at his side, it made being a vigilante so much easier to bear.
‘Thanks. Remember that not just the dead get to sleep. Don’t push yourself. Goodnight.’
With that, Danny felt comfortable with setting his phone down to get changed into pajamas. It ached on his back to take off his shirt, but Jazz would be disappointed in the morning if he didn’t. She always got that pinched look on her face when he didn’t take care of himself to her standards. Her standards weren’t exactly high up either so it made him feel extra upset when he missed the mark.
Being careful to not lie on his back, Danny got back into his bed. He curled himself into the blankets with a small smile. One last chime of bells rang out in the room, probably from Tucker saying goodnight back. Picking up his phone, he opened up the lock screen and looked at his messages.
Instead of a goodnight, his stomach dropped as he realized a different number messaged him. A very familiar number.
‘Hey dude! I know you had to get a new phone so this is me. Not only did I figure out how it’s spreading, I think I finally found a way to get rid of the virus.’
Practically throwing himself off the bed, Danny got to his feet. Both his back and his mind screamed at him as he looked over the message. He tapped back to the one he’d just been replying to, finding his heart stopping at the string of numbers. One of the area code numbers was a six instead of a nine. He’d been messaging a stranger this entire time.
Looking back at the messages he convinced himself that it was fine. He was vague enough to not be recognized. It wasn’t like this person was from Amity. They won’t recognize the correlation between him and Phantom. Surely the other person wouldn’t take his words at face value.
Worst comes to worst he can have Tucker take over his phone for a bit and make sure the other person can’t find out who he is. He hadn’t bought the phone or had it under his name in any way, so they could only find out from the conversation alone.
Breathing out a breath of air he kissed his night of sleep goodbye.
‘I’ll be over in a sec Tuck. I think I just made a mistake.’
Yes, I like this very much
Stephanie Brown, angry and bitter about how she was treated as Robin, finding out that there's a new girl Robin and vowing to do her best to stop history from repeating.
Bruce Wayne, torn between his guilt and his self righteousness, understanding the reasons behind Steph wanting to work alongside him every time the new Robin is on patrol, but finding her presence unnecessary, which she strongly disagrees with.
Maps Mizoguchi, confused about why Batman and Batgirl keep wanting to work together if they don't seem to like each other that much, but just thankful that she's got at least two people looking out for her while she learns how to be a hero.
I have pet pigeons (they're my favourite birds if you couldn't tell) and this little fluffy idiot has decided to have a baby in fucking winter. It wasn't even warm when she laid the egg, it's been cold for like 2 months and I'm so worried because the baby looks so cold, and I know that Gideon is being a good dad and sitting on the nest, keeping the baby warm, but still.
The little baby is adorable though, it's past the pink worm stage and is in the bedraggled penguin stage, and judging by the colour I think the mum is Hot Chocolate, but you can't really tell until the feathers are like, fluffy
My babies!
Soot and Bubblegum haven't shown any behavioural indicators that they're a boy or a girl, I think Hot Chocolate might be a girl because of how she's a bit smaller and a little bit nicer, and Gideon has been cooking and chasing the others around since the first week I got them, and now's he's guarding the nest and being a dad
Now, Icecream is difficult because they're big and chunky, they coo and they chase the others around, so I said to my dad "oh yeah, he's definitely a boy" but then my dad said that he saw them sitting on the nest, which Gideon would have chased off if they weren't his mate, and they can't both be males because someone had to lay fertile eggs. So my ideas are that either Icecream is a female who just looks and acts like a boy, or, Gideon is just a weirdo who let another boy sit on the nest? I don't think pigeons have ever been seen to be poly, since they mate for life, but maybe I just got some weird ones.
Regardless, I love all of them
I have pet pigeons (they're my favourite birds if you couldn't tell) and this little fluffy idiot has decided to have a baby in fucking winter. It wasn't even warm when she laid the egg, it's been cold for like 2 months and I'm so worried because the baby looks so cold, and I know that Gideon is being a good dad and sitting on the nest, keeping the baby warm, but still.
The little baby is adorable though, it's past the pink worm stage and is in the bedraggled penguin stage, and judging by the colour I think the mum is Hot Chocolate, but you can't really tell until the feathers are like, fluffy
Bruce comes over and he brings Jason (he only agreed because Roy was going to be there) and Danny is like hooooo boy you are covered in ecto, what is with these billionaires and being ecto contaminated seriously, this is getting bizzare
Jason immediately falls in love with Danny's addicting ecto infused cooking, because his soul is starving, and now Roy's being ordered to bring food for the outlaws anytime they get together
Danny is pretty excited to make food for another not quite living person, because even though Oliver doesn't seem to notice, if too much ecto gets into the food it can change the taste, which non liminals don't tend to like
Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.
Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.
He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.
He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.
Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.
He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.
Okay.
He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.
It drives to a mansion.
Oh no.
It's Oliver Queen.
Oliver Queen put up that ad.
Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.
Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.
Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.
Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.
If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.
~~~~~~
Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.
Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.
Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.
Except that's a kid.
A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.
And...fuck.
Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.
So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.
Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????
Looks into the kid's background, quietly.
...
And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.
Well this solves the issue of Damian feeling that he's supposed to inherit WE even though tim is ceo
My boy has such a big heart, he simply can't help himself
nobody will ever speak ill of my son ever again he volunteers at the HOSPITAL bless him
also one step closer to dr damian wayne bc i think there’s beautiful writing in ra’s going from a doctor to an assassin raising his grandchild to be an assassin but damian wants to be a healer 😔
that or a vet just put that boy in med school
Dani gets a call from Danny being like "hey, you still in Hong Kong? My friends beating up bad guys over there, I thought you might like to tag along!"
Dani would just love Cass, this big scary bat who listens to her talk and treats her like an equal in fights- she's already calling Cass her sister in law
So something I would like to point out is despite the shit we give him Danny is a fighting savant.
Like any time Danny is fighting with his feet planted on a surface he is pulling off badass martial arts maneuvers or kicking ass. Hell in the first episode he manages a roundhouse kick with enough force to basically cut through multiple meat monsters, and this is at his weakest in the show.
Like we say he fights like a feral racoon but that's only when he's fighting midair and how would he have midair combat training? Humans can't fly like that.
Still in the first season Danny catches Fright Knights sword barehand without a scratch! Boy is a badass.
When he was fighting with his classmates to rescue their parents in pirate radio he was the most competent one there until he let himself get thrown over the edge to give him an excuse to transform without anyone noticing.
Like sure he's getting dogged in this fight but not from a lack of skill, Danny gets several good hits in but he doesn't have the strength this early in the series to do any damage to Fright Knight. But then he not only catches the blade but disarms and judo flips him without getting cut by the blade once.
So I think it would be fun to have DC characters notice this he has the skill and he now has the power to back it up. Have Danny meet Wildcat the former boxer turned vigilante who trained both Black Canary and Batman in boxing.
So one thing that i would like to see is Danny in a similar situation like in the video, Deathstroke is literally a super soldier and mercenary so some rich bastard who Danny pissed off hires him to kill this kid i like the idea that danny is patenting a medical device that can be used to treat metas or non human biology and the rich guy is pissed Danny won't sell him the patent. Bat of your choice, I'm going with Cass, gets told by Oracle who hacked into the communications between the two but she's not quite fast enough to stop the fight from breaking out.
Danny is in his human form which limits his strength but he has skill enough fighting foes who are physically his superior. Cass shows up to see this random scientist holding his own against Deathstroke who earned his title of The Terminator. However before Cass can jump in Danny pulls off the disarming judo throw winning the fight.
Now Cass has a crush on this cute boy. Bruce is considering hiring an assassin himself (not really he's just being dramatic about his baby girl falling in love.)
DPxDC prompt (?)
Okay I'm thinking Danny, with a de-aged Dan and Ellie, move to Gotham while being hunted by the GIW. What's the first thing he does after securing a place to stay? Why, contact the local revenant of course. This is kinda how I see it going.
“Ay boss, is someun er ta see ya.” Bob said while peeking through the open office door. Everyone knows that when Red Hood has his door open it was okay to pop in. No one has made the mistake of interrupting the Hood when the doors closed a second time.
“Who is it?” Jason asked, not even looking up from his papers.
“Says he goes by ‘Danny’.” Bob said while stepping fully into office.
“Who the fuck is Danny? Don't think I know anyone by that name. What's he look like?” Jason asked, signing off on something before putting it aside.
“Not sommun from round er. Skinny fella. He’s one a them twinks is wha I think they called em. He’s Wayne bait. Thas fo cerain.” Bob saids with a shrug.
With a sigh Jason stands up and moves the rest of his papers into one of his desk’s drawers.
“Fine. Let him in. Probably Replacement with that description.” Jason says. Grumbling the last part.
A few minutes later a young man. Maybe a year younger than Jason walked in. Wayne bait was definitely an understatement. Like I had all the physical characteristics and was marking the exits.
“So Danny, what can the great Red Hood do for you?” Jason asked while spreading his arms wide.
“Me and my kids need to lay low. Crime Alley seemed like the best place for that.” Danny said before shifting his eyes to look a little to the right of Jason's helmeted head.
“A lot of people come here when they have nowhere else to go. But few come talk to me about it.” Jason said while leaning back in his chair.
Danny looked back at Jason with a considering look before sighing and pulling out a flash drive from one of his pockets.
“Look. The only reason why I'm approaching you is because this might affect some of the people in Gotham. And now that I've gotten a good look at you I guarantee it will affect you specifically if the people who are after me come here. It wouldn't sit right with me if I didn't give you some sort of heads up.” He said while placing the USB on the desk and stepping back.
“What's on it?” Jason asked nodding towards the USB.
“Laws that make it legal for people like us to be captured, experimented on, and ended. If you want to know more you just have to plug in the USB and read through the files.” Danny said. “As for me I just want to keep my kids safe. Do you have any questions for me while I'm here or am I good to go?”
“Yeah. What made you decide that here was the best place to lay low?”
“What better place to hide than one of the most cursed cities in America?” Danny said before offering a half hearted salute and walking out of the office.
Started the other day and this game is so good! Highly recommend
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mainly fandom stuff, but basically anything that's stuck in my brain
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