Okay But That Moment At The Beginning Of Megamind where Metro Man Says “who Would I Be Without You”

I’m still frustrated at my last therapist because she really insinuated that asexuals don’t have feelings. She was trying to explain the difference between romantic and platonic relationships and kept saying it was about the sexual attraction, but I brought up that asexuals can still have romantic relationships, and then I had to explain what that was and then she was like “oh yes, I know about that” and I was like “clearly you don’t”. But she continued and said “If a person brings their partner flowers, their partner will like it, but asexuals won’t have that same feeling.”

“What if the asexual likes flowers? Wouldn’t they still be happy with it?”

“Asexuals wouldn’t be able to feel that because they can’t feel like normal people do. They don’t have emotions.” Or something along those lines. I repeated it slowly back to her, and she quickly backtracked but it didn’t seem like her response was very different.

The depth of emotion fantasy can invoke is sometimes overwhelming, especially when coupled with a good soundtrack. Love and hate and fear and peace, longing and comfort, shame and pride, pain and satisfaction, to know it so profoundly through the eyes of words or colors weaved into lies is to know humanity. You’re in physical pain, aching for a world that doesn’t exist, a home you’ve never seen, and a life you’ve never lived. You tremble when something goes horribly wrong, and gasp when something goes amazingly right. You squeal when a relationship works because you know and love them and you know they’ll make each other happy.

They’re not real. They can never exist. But to watch a situation fall apart makes you sob until your core feels empty and you want to curl up and pray that things will be alright. And then to finally feel that victory makes you cry in joy and relief, makes you fall over and laugh as you hug the book close to your chest or clutch the edge of the computer as you lay there for a while to just exist and know what it is to live.

And months later, when you pick it up once more, you can fall in love all over again.

How cool is that?

These new American Girl shoes look like if Jotaro was a Barbie

Was looking at my face in the mirror after getting a haircut that is similar to my mother's and I was like "Wow I look like my mom. . . And you know I see some of my dad in there too." Like no 😱 You don't say?????

I will point out the most obvious things like it’s a novelty.

"Wow, Dad, Uncle looks so much like you!"

"That’s because he's my brother."

"Yeah. And he LOOKS it."

Or

"Wow, *voice actor* really sounds like *character*!"

"He voices him."

"Yeah, and he sounds like him too! :)"

Me: (does something)

Someone: (jokingly) What’s wrong with you?

Me, unable to understand the odd and bitter feeling I suddenly have: (jokingly) Everything.

Me, later that night, out loud, to myself: I’m autistic and was raised to hate myself for it, thanks for asking.

I just followed back my friend on Pinterest and I said something flirty through the Pinterest messaging system, but now that I'm thinking about it, I have no way of knowing if that is the friend I'm thinking of, or if I just flirted with a random stranger who wanted to friend me on Pinterest and has a few of the same fandoms as my friend. Who did I just flirt with.

Me, suddenly noticing the time at one am while thinking it was only eleven pm: Excuse me?? How long has it been Sunday????

There should be a lock button on photo apps so that when I show my conservative parents a picture, they can't accidentally swipe to see all the gay fanart right next to it.

My friend wasn’t texting me back for three days when she usually only takes two hours at most, so I was getting worried about her and kind of low-key figured well maybe she got tired of you, but then she got in touch and told me that her phone wasn’t working and that she didn’t want me to worry, and then she said that she missed me because she wasn’t able to respond to my texts, and that just made me smile a lot.

Edit: It turns out she wasn’t getting my texts at all, BUT THE POINT STILL STANDS SHE WAS STILL MISSING ME AND I STARTED MISSING HER TOO

I'm here now. I'm in college, I'm still alive, I WANT to be alive, and I have friends I love and adore.

Still don't know how to write a book, but I'm doing my best!

I don’t go anywhere and I don’t do anything and I don’t have close friends I can trust with my life.

How am I supposed to write a book if I don’t know what living feels like