Well…. This Is Awkward….

... Never thought I’d be the one to help shatter someone’s illusion... Did I really help save her? She’s so tired. She’s so numb. She’s so confused. She knew something was wrong. That’s why after four years, she reached out to me. She spent the last year being worn down, and she knew it couldn’t be right. She reached out to me partially to fill a void her soon-to-be ex-husband didn’t. I knew that wasn’t healthy. We talked about anything and everything. We aren’t afraid to talk to each other now, because we’ve both grown. She told me what he was. I told her what he really was, and a part of her knew. It took her a few days, and some googling to finally see what I saw right away. It’s hurt her so much. She didn’t want to believe what I knew was abuse (both physically and mentally) was what had been happening to her. Article after article told her the same things, and they described everything he’d been doing. She’s so tired and numb now. No one could want this for someone they love. In the end, it’s her choices, her willingness to heal, and time that will see her rebuild. I’ll be beside her wherever she is. But, as much as I’ve hurt her for destroying what she thought was her dream, her illusion. I couldn’t stand aside and walk away quietly like I’ve done for so long. If you see abuse, know someone who is being abused, or if you are the one being abused, whether it’s courage or a spurt of madness, reach out to someone. There are so many advice lines. So many counselors. Hospitals. Even law enforcement. Don’t be the one to see or know and do nothing. If you are the one in it, breathe deep, know you are worth more than how you’re being treated, and find someone to talk to. Anyone can get you started to saving your life, even yourself. It’s less unknown to stay in the situation you are in, but it’s not safer.

Maybe it's because I was sick today, but my confusion between a couple coworkers came out as racist, apparently. I'm at my desk, there's a little cabinet behind me and slightly off to the right. I turn to my left and see a pair of shoes attached to some legs out of the corner of my eye, but that's it. Now, in my mind the only person who could be sitting there was the same coworker who always sits there. I turn back to my desk, then turn around fully a minute later: It's not the coworker I thought. I must have looked really confused because they looked at me weird. I said I mixed up the coworker behind me with the other one (who was sitting a bit further away). It was like when you don't put your keys in the same spot just one time, and you completely forget where you put them. I'm also a bit slow... Now, they may have been kidding with me when I told them why I got really confused, but I got the feeling they seriously thought I was being racist. I hate it when people even joke about that kind of thing with me. It's not really funny. They're both awesome, and I like them; but, I will feel pretty bad if getting mixed up made that impression....

Bored, bored, bored

That's not part of Japan. That's the island with Knights of the Round materia.

Dream job right here. Saving the world from Mordo and other-dimensionly things whose mere existence would make your head explode.

This is probably an asshole thing to ask; however, it's required since everyone seems surprised by recent events: When you build your city below, at, or near sea level, how do you not suspect something could go wrong? From my days in catholic school, I sort of remember a parable about a guy who built his house by a river. It didn't end well for him. Fairly certain the story behind that metaphor was pretty well-established knowledge back then. What's interesting is no one has started blaming the city planners for failing to do enough to mitigate the effects of this eventuality. Though not nearly on the scale of Fukishima, I recall the plant designers being blamed immediately for discounting the possibility of a massive earthquake causing a massive tsunami, because, you know, that happens all the time in Japan... Yeah... Negligence is the real tragedy.

To clarify: The reason I decided to reference something I'm pretty sure was in the bible somewhere is because that particular region has a high concentration of bible thumpers. The fact they'll take leviticus literally, yet are too stupid to interpret the parable I referenced highlights my above final point.

Stars

When it all fell apart, I lost everything. When I returned, I had not come back.

I haven't slept well since two nights during my junior year of high school. It's been twelve years of pain since, and of the things I've forgotten, those two nights are still with me. Would be nice to have those happen again.