Parkeryourefired

Maybe it's because I was sick today, but my confusion between a couple coworkers came out as racist, apparently. I'm at my desk, there's a little cabinet behind me and slightly off to the right. I turn to my left and see a pair of shoes attached to some legs out of the corner of my eye, but that's it. Now, in my mind the only person who could be sitting there was the same coworker who always sits there. I turn back to my desk, then turn around fully a minute later: It's not the coworker I thought. I must have looked really confused because they looked at me weird. I said I mixed up the coworker behind me with the other one (who was sitting a bit further away). It was like when you don't put your keys in the same spot just one time, and you completely forget where you put them. I'm also a bit slow... Now, they may have been kidding with me when I told them why I got really confused, but I got the feeling they seriously thought I was being racist. I hate it when people even joke about that kind of thing with me. It's not really funny. They're both awesome, and I like them; but, I will feel pretty bad if getting mixed up made that impression....

The day this country falls to chaos, when its people become exhausted by injustices to the breaking point, when society implodes and the few bonds connecting us shatter, I hope every hospitable foreign country places an immigration ban on our citizens.

Someone needs to write a story about the Headless Horseman as an undead superhero who always forgets he's missing his head. He'll keep trying to head butt people or whistle for his horse, only to remember that he doesn't have a head. It'd start off with him writing a book about the inconvenience of being headless and follow his misadventures on his quest to find out where it went. All the while, he's battling people who want to take over the world or steal his head. He'll have great, heroic monologues in sign language that only get translated when someone else or the villain happen to know sign language. He also has to hide from everyday people because of the stigma created by the events in the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, which he swears (in sign language) to the authorities are terribly misinterpreted. People try to re-kill him, exorcise him, and capture him, etc. Demons and other undead try to take him back to the underworld. Aliens and super villains keep trying to destroy the planet. All he wants is to find his head and be able to enjoy a beer or two at the bar down the street from his apartment.

Everything I touch breaks. Can't even put together a computer without screwing up. Which is bad because if my other computer goes before this new one works, everything goes the way of the dinosaur. Yes, I'm going to crash a meteor into it all because that's what it deserves.

Today, I thought I was going to have a moment with a couple girls taking a walk all thanks to Pokemon Go. Unfortunately, they were just walking. Guess meeting people that way is only for fairy tales.

You know you're a POS when you have zero doubt in your mind that invading another country is okay, and you refuse to hear out anyone that believes it may have been a very poor/internationally immoral choice. Or you are when you are so rife with corruption you don't want to accept responsibility for stealing millions from your country to build yourself a nicer mansion.

People keep telling me 27 isn't old. Why is it I look and move like I'm so much older than they are?

Someone once told me things would be better now. Someone lied.

How I want to deal with most people.

UHF . ‘89 . IMDb