Never Have I Been So Frustrated By Anything. Kyudo Is Possibly The Most Difficult Thing I've Ever Undertaken

When the ending to one of the "great novels of the 20th century" sucks.

I think the day when everything comes together and I finally know my happiness will be the day Death takes me. Some of us just weren't lucky enough to be born for happy lives.

"You must stay at the table until you finish all your beans. Then, you have my permission to die." -Lima Bane

In case you're wondering, yes, I did do this. Yes, it was on my phone, which is why it's not perfect (really wanted the coat, too). Yes, I hate lima beans.

... Never thought I’d be the one to help shatter someone’s illusion... Did I really help save her? She’s so tired. She’s so numb. She’s so confused. She knew something was wrong. That’s why after four years, she reached out to me. She spent the last year being worn down, and she knew it couldn’t be right. She reached out to me partially to fill a void her soon-to-be ex-husband didn’t. I knew that wasn’t healthy. We talked about anything and everything. We aren’t afraid to talk to each other now, because we’ve both grown. She told me what he was. I told her what he really was, and a part of her knew. It took her a few days, and some googling to finally see what I saw right away. It’s hurt her so much. She didn’t want to believe what I knew was abuse (both physically and mentally) was what had been happening to her. Article after article told her the same things, and they described everything he’d been doing. She’s so tired and numb now. No one could want this for someone they love. In the end, it’s her choices, her willingness to heal, and time that will see her rebuild. I’ll be beside her wherever she is. But, as much as I’ve hurt her for destroying what she thought was her dream, her illusion. I couldn’t stand aside and walk away quietly like I’ve done for so long. If you see abuse, know someone who is being abused, or if you are the one being abused, whether it’s courage or a spurt of madness, reach out to someone. There are so many advice lines. So many counselors. Hospitals. Even law enforcement. Don’t be the one to see or know and do nothing. If you are the one in it, breathe deep, know you are worth more than how you’re being treated, and find someone to talk to. Anyone can get you started to saving your life, even yourself. It’s less unknown to stay in the situation you are in, but it’s not safer.

Someone asked me if I believed in God. I asked them what kind of god would inflict me on their world.

Depression is a war. 

At this point, I'm willing to go for an experimental procedure to fix my back. Like Wade Wilson, I've hit "fuck it." As long as the suit's not green.

Doomed to hate those I like most. Cursed to drive away those I most want near. There is no matching piece. There is no purpose. There is no place. There is empty laughter, cold heart, stagnant blood, manic mind, twisted body. But there is nothing here for something like me.

Don't fear The Reaper.

He's bad at board games.