Lunammoon, I Am Fascinated By Your Backgrounds.

Happy birthday to a game that matters a lot to me!

(Reposting 3 days later due to issues with tags)

Dear friends,,, colleagues, I have a confession to make; I think Cardinal Thomas Lawrence and Pope Innocent XIV (Vincent Benítez) should hold hands and be happy together.

Yume Nikki Month Day One

Madotsuki is best girl.

However, The way I draw her keeps changing, so I've decided to draw multiple versions of her.

Holy Smokes??? Thank you so much???

I'm really honored and happy that you like this fic enough to rec it and reread it?? I'm a blubbering mess asdfghjkl 😳💖💖💖

Fic Recommendation:

By @paptato on both ao3 and Tumblr!!

Is there anyone who HASN’T read this JonElias fic yet? Cause if not, you absolutely should.

It’s 6/? chapters and 24,422 words of absolutely amazing writing. It’s a time travel fic where Jon goes back in time to kill Jonah Magnus, but for some reason, *cough* spiders *cough*, he can’t seem to finish the job.

It’s hilarious and seeing Jonah get so jealous of Jon being nice to everyone other than him is a wonderful touch. I’m currently about to re-read this fic cause it’s definitely one of my favorites right now!!

Congratulations to Yume Nikki for getting on Steam! The queen returns!

This game is truly special and to those who have not played it be sure to check it out! It’s Free!

I’ve first found Yume Nikki about five years ago and with it I found a truly touching (if not bizarre) story and a very welcoming, kind and fun fanbase! In fact, it’s one of the main reasons I started drawing. It also helped me get out of not so great place in my life and has only impacted my life in a positive way. I hope that you, if you have not played it, may find a fun and interesting  experience too!

Thank you to Kikiyama for making such a wonderful game!

And here’s a little bonus comic:

Two sides of the same coin.

Commission for @nureyev-steel-institute featuring their OC Elijah! Thank you so much for the support!

Sburb Aspects and The Fear Entities - TMA x Homestuck (spoilers ahead!!!)

I love the style of hyper-flexible mythology used by these Homestuck and The Magnus Archives: power systems and personality types are all well and good, but stories are elevated so much when those are combined with structures of the world's metaphysical nature. Few stories do it nearly as great as these two (and if you know any on their level please offer those recommendations!).

That said, I think there's a lot of overlap between their systems. Nothing is 1-to-1, of course, the numbers don't match up and they try to map out different types of concept (one explicitly about fear, the other dubiously about storytelling & other stuff maybe): however, some concepts are similarly touched on between the systems. I intend to explore these links in this post.

(again, spoilers ahead for both stories!)

and a long LOOONG post up ahead!

Now, I'll explain the obvious ones first for each, then touch on some of the less expected matches.

BREATH

The Lonely: First, I hope this one is clear. The Breath aspect is very explicitly about detachment. If its opposite Blood is about attachment and community, Breath touches on isolation and lacking a place. See how HS's Egbert values their friends throughout the comic, but once it ends they become a shut-in. The fog aesthetic also fits the wind theme.

The Vast: Speaking of a wind theme, those who follow The Vast have a more positive view on Breath's detachment, and value their freedom very highly. See how Mike Crew lashes out at Jon when he feels John disrespect his desires and then proceeds to make him feel Lots Of Quick Movement (how Breathy!). Now, onto the weird ones.

The Desolation: Why link The Fire Entity with The Wind Aspect? Well, if The Lonely applies for having no attachments, then The Desolation applies for being the pain of losing those attachments. See how its agents target the homes and families of its victims, leaving them with nothing, cold and shelterless after the fire wanes.

The Hunt: Breath is the aspect of Direction/Motivation and Movement, and The Hunt is all about perpetual chase and goal-seeking.

The Stranger: Breath is associated with levity & humour & magic/clownery, like The Stranger's circus aesthetic. Not to mention The Stranger's penchant for wayward vagabonds (haha), those with no place to call home and always on the move.

BLOOD

The Buried: Things that these two have in common: duty/crushing responsibility/obligation, pacts/promises/transactions, bondage/shackles, metal/soil/the element of earth, and basically everything else.

The Corruption: Penned in some ways as opposing The Lonely, it's also known as The Swarm and The Hive. It's about NEVER being alone, losing your individuality, etc. Also opposed to The Desolation.

The Flesh: Well, Blood is the aspect of the Purely Physical, the Material, the reality of our form, and The Flesh focuses on the idea that we are naught but meat with no spirit. Plus, y'know, blood & viscera imagery doesn't hurt. (okay it probably HURTS but y'know!)

The Hunt: This fear's literally pseudonymised as "Blood"! Touched on in a couple of episodes, The Hunt's domain expands into the fear of the pack turning if you take a wrong step, so you better damn well conform or else!

The Slaughter: Us Vs Them. Conflict is nothing without opposition, and your side matters more than anything in war. You have a duty, and if you neglect your obligations, blood will be spilled.

The Web: Everyone's connected, everyone has a role to play, no man is an island and all actions affect everyone. The Web's domain over addiction could be linked to Blood's claim on dependency... Also, rope bondage ;)

SPACE

The Vast: Dimension & distance & depth, size & scale, the universe as an ocean, the incomprehensible vastness of reality. These two are so deeply similar, conceptually.

The Lonely: In Calliope and Jade's discussion on the nature of reality, it is revealed that the path of the Spacebound is especially prone to loneliness. Recall the isolation of every Space player before entering the game, and "MAG 57: Personal Space".

The Corruption: Space is biology and growth, and while I can't remember any specific Corruption statements on motherhood I can easily imagine a woman birthing a plague of worms and beetles, and doting on her "children". It feels like a statement that *should* have happened somehow, it's just so obvious a version of Corruption's themes, y'know?

The Eye: "Those bound to the aspect of Space are, as the name suggests, concerned with the big picture. They are patient, masters of the art of ‘wait-and-see’, and are inclined to take things as they come." Space is the most passive aspect, while The Eye is arguably the most passive Entity (beside The End).

The Extinction: The Spacebound hold an "understanding that sometimes you have to let something burn to the ground in order to build it back better and stronger than before. To this effect, they tend to be innovators, concerned with creation and redemption. Catch them recycling the old to make the new, the fresh, and the beautiful."

TIME

The End: Time's the aspect of endings, conclusion and death. Next.

The Slaughter: Music, rhythm, regularity. Pressure, aggression, action. Different vibes, but surprisingly high overlap.

The Hunt: Was debating whether this was appropriate, since Time values destination over journey while Hunt values the chase over the catch. However, even with this difference, they both hold dominion over unstoppable forces and strict determination.

The Web: How can your free will matter in a clockwork universe? We see Dave struggle with his agency, knowing that only his actions in the Alpha timeline matters. Time loops are very Webbish.

The Extinction: Time is also about what comes next, after the end. Progress, technology, change and eternity are the nature of Time & The Extinction. Out with the old, in with the new.

LIGHT

The Eye: Knowledge, information, sight & light, being noticed whether you like it or not, sorting things into neat discrete categories, focus & clarity & attention. They're the same damn thing! This is the Light of Rose, Doc Scratch and Aranea

The Web: Light players struggle with agency, whether there's any greater meaning, any purpose, any master plan behind life. Well, if The Mother of Puppets has her way, EVERYONE can have a purpose and contribute to her master plan! (Might not be a nice plan, but hey.) This is the Light of the Serket sisters, Vriska & Aranea.

The Hunt: Part of Lights sway over knowledge is its dominion on exploration, discovery, seeking. These aren't *traditional* Hunt symbols but they're certainly present in the text, see most of the Hunters in South America.

VOID

The Dark: Okay, I shouldn't need to explain the link between these two. Obscurity, concealment, secrecy, mystery, the cold, water symbolism, emptiness (especially in space), deaf/blind/losing senses, and literal darkness/shadow? They're basically the same!

The End: The domain of non-existence.

The Flesh: Void, like Blood, deals with the physical world and denies greater divine purpose. Lends itself well to hedonism and empiricism. See Equius and his huge muscles.

The Spiral/Stranger: Falsification of senses and reality, deceit and blurriness, obsession and obstruction. Distortion & Unknowing.

The Vast: Deals with cosmic insignificance, as does Void. See also the ocean imagery.

The Extinction: Again, the idea that we don't matter, and a return to a blank canvas for something new.

HEART

The Lonely: Being alone with yourself, no outside interaction to speak of, longing for love? SO Heart-coded it's unreal.

The End: Heart deeply values The Self Being A Thing That Exists, thus fear of The End must affect it worse than maybe any other aspect.

The Flesh: I'm thinking of body dysmorphia here, the idea that your physical identity doesn't match your Truest Self. See Jared Hopworth's gym, and the perfection its members strive for.

The Hunt: Known as one of the most primal Fears, the Hunt taps into our base, bestial nature more than any other. Heart presides over base instinct, and is associated with animal imagery

The Stranger: "Who will you be, with a name or three, and a stranger's face worn wrong?" - Identity issues are a whole thing. Deals with things not being what they "should", messing with presentation and souls.

MIND

The Spiral: Mind = Sense, equally in terms of logic and perception. The Spiral distorts logic and perception equally. Mind is also about dishonesty to the self, and you can hopefully see the link to Es Mentiras a.k.a. "It Is Lies" there. See The Distortion's identity crisis.

The Web: Mind is also about Choice, of karma, the interconnectivity of everything and thorough planning. The Web is the entity of weaving plans, interconnectivity and the questioning of your own agency and choices.

The Buried: Perhaps a bit tenuous, but Mind touches on karma and I see that as being "trapped by your choices".

LIFE

The Corruption: Uncontrolled growth and biological imagery. I see Life less as bugs, and more as plant overgrowth, encroaching mold.

The Flesh/Hunt: Life is about consumption, food and domination, the assimilation of the weak to the strong, growth at no expense. Following your desires with no obstacles, fashioning yourself how you see fit. If Aspects had true name like TMA entities, Life could be the "It Will Eat & Grow".

The Extinction: Even without us, life will find a way. Nature shall reclaim all. Isn't it beautiful? Poetic?

DOOM

The Desolation: Pain, searing flame, loss, and sacrifice. Very very Doom.

The Corruption: Rot, disease and decay. Very very Doom.

The Buried: Restriction, limitations, etc. Very very Doom.

The Flesh: Oh my GOODNESS, those factory-farming episodes are DISTURBING. The utter helplessness, the looming tyranny of machines, the exploitation of your body before and after death... SO very VERY Doom. Recall the tragedy of The Ψiioniic Helmsman.

The Web: Fate, predetermination, bondage and learned helplessness. You get the drill by now.

The Extinction: Fossil fuels, factory farming, deforestation, political terrorism... Continuing on our path, Doom and Extinction as synonyms would be inevitable unless things change.

HOPE

The Spiral: "I am the throat of delusion incarnate" - every Hope player ever. Belief, whether in truth or falsehood, is the domain of Hope. I would also like to draw attention to the spoiling of belief, hope, faith and delusion in the "Desecrated Host" two-parter.

The Corruption: Hope is about a different kind of growth than Life but growth nonetheless, and Hope also touches on love as a form of desire. Corruption statements have a heavy emphasis on love, see "MAG 157: Love Bombing" (also features a literal cult belief system!!!)

The Extinction: The Catastrophic Change need not be so catastrophic, if we rebuild after. If Rage shatters glass, Hope will make a mosaic of it. If life as we know it ends, who's to say what comes next can't be better?

RAGE

The Stranger: Carnival, theatre and circus, masks and mannequins. The doubt of everything you encounter is what Rage is all about!!! It's perfect, honestly.

The Slaughter: Aggression, rabidity, anger, unpredictable violence, (in) justice, overhaul of the natural order. Dionysian madness, Pt. 1.

The Desolation: Hope is potential, Rage opposes Hope, and Desolation is the destruction of potential. Rage is happy to see (some parts of) the world burn. The aspect also touches on physical pain, and intensity of emotion.

The Flesh: Carnival, literally "farewell to meat", is the major symbol of Rage as mentioned already. Another case of Flesh's rejection of divine faith, manifesting Rage as Doubt (skepticism and empiricism).

The Hunt: Single-minded dogged determination, the denial of other possibilities in pursuit of The Undeniable Root, the unbreakable truth. PURE adrenaline. Fangs and horns and claws are also very Rage-y vibes.

The Spiral: Doubt of the senses, doubt of the self, doubt at its core. Dionysian madness, Pt. 2.

The Extinction: The Rage-bound are prone to believe that our world is unjust, unstable and unsustainable. All that's needed for everything to crumble is a little shake-up.

* Final Wrap-Up:

The Aspects connected to the most fears are Void and Rage, tied at 7. Makes sense, since the unknown is so central to horror and Rage is literally the aspect of fear! Of course half the fears would connect to either of those.

Doom & Blood tie second at 6 each (also sensibly scary). Mind, Light & Hope tie last at 3 each. The rest all have 4-5.

The Fears which line up with the most Aspects are Extinction at 7 then Hunt and Flesh each with 6 - half of the whole Aspect wheel!!! Funny how it's arguably the most primal Fear and the two most recent Entities which are most prominent.

The Dark alone aligns with just 1 Aspect and The Eye, funnily enough, has a mere 2. I can't really see them as anything else when they are SO similar in concept to Void and Light (though I did come around to Spaceye in the end).

Phe-YEW. Now THAT was a long post, anda took a while to write (presumably to read too!)

So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna use my discoveries to help myself write a D&D campaign!

(Feel free to rb/comment w/ any of your own connections, if there's any in the table I didn't explain, and any links you think I missed or that don't fit here (I was mostly trying to think of what Fear the aspect would INSTILL, not what the Aspect-bound would be scared of since that would mostly be the opposite aspect's territory, but some of these might start to slide into aversion a bit. Also! I was thinking of connecting Buried to TIme or Space, but eventually decided Hunt and Eye fit them better. Maybe you can connect it better than I could?)) (^_^)c

It's so weird talking to people who's view of "here's the way life is for everyone" is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you'll say you'll have a problem and instead of helping you they'll argue with you about how you're not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I'm really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn't do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don't have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you're in, and different volunteer work you've done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don't have things that I can use. Also, I'm in my mid 20s so I don't know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you're a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you've worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I'm not looking for suggests of things I've already done, I'm looking for what I can do now if I haven't done anything.

Them: There's no way you didn't do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who's also disabled and they're like "Here's a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don't pay much but look good on a resume, here's some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here's how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here's some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn't tell them about unless you need accommodations."

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

My hand slipped