The Importance Of CUNT: Mind Your Manners

The Importance of CUNT: Mind Your Manners

I’ve previously gone over the definition of charisma and two ways charisma can be seen that we’ve discussed thus far is in your digital and physical appearance (which will be linked below for the slackers). The last part of the charisma section is your manner. I don’t anticipate this being as long as the previous parts, but who knows?

Real quick, let’s define “charisma”. Charisma is “compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others.” This section is probably the first thing you think about when you hear the word “charisma” - the way you conduct yourself.

So, let’s just jump in.

Author’s Note: What inspired me to write this is helping my friend with her K-Pop audition. She’s been trying for years to no avail. So, I made a point to investigate what exactly is being looked for ad how she can improve, but realized these times could be used for success in so many other areas of a career, so here I am. But if it seems to be more garnered towards auditioning, the music industry, and have K-Pop references, you know why.

Personality

Let’s play a little exercise. Pretend you’re an actor taking on a role (you can decide the role). Think of that character as more than just a character, but as an actual person. You are building a person. What do they look like? What is their signature look? What is their love language? Do they have pet peeves? What are their hobbies? What do they like? What is their favorite meal? Their favorite person? Favorite music to listen to? What are their biggest strengths? What about their challenges? Have they failed in their lives? If so, what was it? Do they experience regret? What is their biggest motivation?

Can you answer these questions?

If not, how else were you expecting others to be able to? How is your audience supposed to understand you and support you?

This is how you built the charm of your brand. Your personality. A personality is the characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make a person unique.

Your personality is what completes the package of charisma, and if you were to ask me, possibly more important than appearance. Not saying that face value isn’t important but do you understand how many people have gained/lost opportunities and support because of their personality? Christina Aguilera - INCREDIBLE singer and absolutely stunning, but has a terrible attitude (“allegedly”), which has turned off support from a lot of her peers in the industry. Britney Spears has always been courteous and kind, and that why people give a fuck about her.

** There are situations of people having controversial personalities (**cough cough** Azealia Banks and Kanye West *cough cough**) and still having a platform, but I don’t not suggest this. It will not work the same for you. No, because I’m being completely serious when I say that.

There are people who will choose not to support you simply for having a bland personality even though everything else (catalog, look, talent, etc) says that they should. Then, there are those that have no talent really, but because they’re charming, they get the world.

When creating a brand, you want a personality that is charming and inspires devotion from others, even if it’s in a deadpan sort of way. For example, Capricorns, in my opinion, have no idea the social norms of partaking in conversations. They don’t realize that just because you’re thinking it, doesn’t mean you should say. They have yet to understand that they can at least feign compassion on their faces. Like…Todoroki. Todoroki is very much the kind of person to say something at the wrong time and be like “was it something I said?” And maybe it’s because I’m a Taurus, but I find it completely hilarious and charming when Capricorns do that. They’re my favorite signs in the world because of it.

(Somebody get this boy some therapy though.)

Charming doesn’t have to mean conventional girl-next-door. But charm means giving people a reason to root for you. To support you.

For example, Deku. Deku’s a crybaby. He’s a Cancer. But you want to root for him. You see how hard he tries to stay positive in striving for a dream that was pretty much a non-starter because of his lack of quirk. The challenge that he faces, the secret he keeps, his devotion - you root for him. He’s charming, but in a completely different way from Todoroki.

(And somebody get HIM some physical therapy. But look at those eyes 😭 Pulls at my heartstrings every time he cries.)

It doesn’t have to be your actual personality, it could be something you switch on and off in public and company. For example:

Tiffany Pollard

The QUEEN of Reality Television with so many memorable one-liners and quotes that are still quoted today. You think this over-the-top personality wasn’t just for television? She tongue kissed Flavor Flav on national television, you think she was being SERIOUS? It’s called a “TV personality” for a reason. Every last one of them of that show were playing a character that they hoped would land them a following for their actual career goals. Tiffany was just the only one that was actually really good at it, with reality television stars trying to recreate her persona to this day.

Sasha Fierce

Beyoncé’s alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, is another great example of a character turned on and off. It has been said that Beyoncé was very timid and shy, however, when she’s on that stage, it’s completely different. She’s the Beyoncé we know is the definition of “power”.

As long as you maintain common decency and respect towards people, play a character if it’s easier to make you more courageous and bold.

Here’s a little insert of creating a personality.

What Makes a Personality:

Traits and patterns of thought and emotion play important roles as well as the following fundamental characteristics of personality:

* Consistency: There is generally a recognizable order and regularity to behaviors. Essentially, people act in the same ways or similar ways in a variety of situations.

* Psychological and physiological: Personality is a psychological construct, but research suggests that it is also influenced by biological processes and needs.

* Behaviors and actions: Personality not only influences how we move and respond in our environment, but it also causes us to act in certain ways.

* Multiple expressions: Personality is displayed in more than just behavior. It can also be seen in our thoughts, feelings, close relationships, and other social interactions.

Main Character Traits:

* Agreeable: cares about others, feels empathy, enjoys helping others

* Conscientiousness: high levels of thoughtfulness, good impulse control, goal-directed behaviors

* Eager-to-please: accommodating, passive, and conforming

* Extraversion: excitability, sociability, talkativeness, assertiveness, and high amounts of emotional expressiveness

* Introversion: quiet, reserved

* Neuroticism: experiences stress and dramatic shifts in mood, feels anxious, worries about different things, gets upset easily, struggles to bounce back after stressful events

* Openness: very creative, open to trying new things, focuses on tackling new challenges

(For more information, I got this information from the Very Well Mind website.)

Behavior

Your charm extends from the thoughts to actions. It’s in your hand gestures. It’s in how you walk. How you turn your head. The way you walk. Your handwriting. How you speak to others. The words you use. The pitch, the pace. You can say that you’re confident, but actions speak louder than words.

Catwoman

Remember Catwoman? Halle Berry’s Catwoman. She played to very different characters. There was Precious, who was meek, timid, and hardly had a backbone. Sure, she was talented and kind, but a pushover. Then, there was Catwoman. And there was a clear and visible difference in manner when she was being Precious and when she was being Catwoman. So clear, that their handwriting was different. Catwoman’s was a lot sharper in edges. The way they talked, walked, and dressed were all different. That’s how you create a full picture.

Park Bom

Park Bom is routinely and wrongfully bullied for her looks, but what I love about her is how she carries herself. It’s true to her “role”, brand, and personality. I love watching how she sings and dances because it’s very saditty and prissy and doll-like. She carries herself like she spends a stack to maintain her hair and nails weekly. Her hand gestures were always so soft and had a delicate nature to it. The way her lips moved when she sang, on top of her voice itself, just seemed to fit into that image. When she needed to have a sharper/angrier attitude to her moves and facial expression, she adapted it to her own personality. Even her animated version in the “Hate You” MV maintained this.

(Excuse me as I proceed to photo dump. She’s just so pretty 🥺 but I wanted to find examples of what I’m talking about.)

Miranda Priestly

Meryl Streep fashioned Miranda’s voice after Clint Eastwood, who never raises his voice and yet, commands the room. We normally associate quietness with being shy or insecure, however, that’s because of someone’s demeanor. If you’re speaking quiet combined with a slouched back and lowered head that avoids eye-contact, like a turtle trying to escape back into its shell, then of course people will see you as shy and insecure. Miranda’s “quietness” only presents us with feelings that SHE is in control. It made you lean in to hang on each word. The fact that her voice never rose, no matter how frustrated or pissed off she was, her tone never raised. She took her time with each word so that there was no excuse for misunderstanding what she said because she wasn’t planning on repeating herself.

A quote from Streep on “the voice”:

“In drama school, the teacher said, ‘How you play king has nothing to do with you. You’re just you. It’s how everybody else in the room act(s) when you enter it that makes you the king.’ And that’s exactly right. It was all up to them to have this reaction. And I could just speak and be slightly nastier than I normally am. I normally am on a scale of one to 10, a seven. But I could go all the way to nine or 10 with her. Because as long as I was quiet, it seemed more powerful.”

You would never mistaken her for insecure.

Think about your personality and your mannerisms. How do you want to be perceived? What are your most memorable traits? How can you exaggerate it (maybe not too much that it becomes off-putting, but visible enough for your audience to identify it)? How can you support it with body language?

Take Aways: When we say to step into that person you want to be, we mean to step into her mindset. Become one with her thoughts. Her emotions. Her reactions. Walk how she walks. Talk how she talks. Sleep how she would sleep. Behave how she would behave. Step into that role as a method actor. Immerse yourself in that role. Think nothing but of that role until you subconsciously become her.

How do you conduct yourself? What are some ways that you hope to change to become your dream self? Have any ideas for my next post? LMK in the chats and reblogs. My inbox are always open 🌸🧸

(Gifs not mine)

Check Out My Other Posts:

- The Importance of CUNT: Digital Appearance

- Vitamin C Charisma: Being Digital

- Pickle Juice No More

- The Importance of CUNT: Looking Good and Feeling Fine

- Ooh, hear me sing here -> “It Hurts by 2NE1” (I need to post some more singing videos, I just haven’t practiced in a couple weeks 😭)