A Newfound Skill

Sleeping arrangements: addendum 2

I have been reliably informed that my previous illustration of the idiosyncrasies of flashback-driven sleeping positions did not sufficiently emphasize my spouse's ample biceps; I have therefore attempted to rectify this issue as follows:

Unexpected HRT side-effect #15

My HRT regimen is an emulation, only simulating the real thing. Cis women experience a complex, month-long dance between estrogen and progesterone, swinging from one to the other and back again. I, on the other hand, experience an estrogen peak every two weeks, and a progesterone peak every quarter.

And that's okay! It's gotten the job done.

Sometimes however, my peaks and troughs happen to look just enough like an actual cis cycle to trigger some fascinating side effects.

This one occurred a few weeks ago. My day started as normal; but something seemed off. I got to work, and began to experience stomach cramps. My first thought was that I must have consumed some disagreeable foodstuff; but this was different - the sensations were prickly; and extended all the way into my pelvis.

It wasn't until lunch time, as I was driving my daughter home from summer school, that it came to me: these were menstrual cramps!

My hormone levels had aligned in such a way that my brain was now sending instructions down my existing nerve pathways to forcefully contract a non-existent uterus...

This state of affairs continued for two days; with what I can only describe as various muscle groups from the top of the abdomen all the way down to the thighs randomly and constantly pinging, eliciting a continuous stream of "Ow! Ow!" noises.

Now: is this exactly what cis women experience? I have no idea. Did the lack of uterus effectively cap the amount of discomfort I felt? Or did it cause the nerve signals to be redirected into other adjacent muscles, making their contractions worse? It's so hard to say.

What I do know is this: I already had a healthy respect for the unpleasantness of menstrual cramps as experienced by others; but this situation made for a very personal window into that world that really reinforced my prior understanding!

Addendum: there is a candy dish in my office that is periodically emptied, and refilled; fortuitously, its contents had been refreshed the day this all went down. My very audible "Oh, thank god!" drew laughter from one of the people that worked nearby and knew what I was going through!

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

Unexpected HRT side-effect #2: addendum

I have covered before the exciting world of nipple rotation. Well: now they are rotating back! I suppose it stands to reason; that the early stages of breast development result in a certain lopsidedness that self-corrects as the girls fill out.

The only reason this is noteworthy for me is that unlike most female pubescents, I have nipple piercings (acquired without moral hazard) and thus had a very visual gauge by which to observe this entire tilting process!

More good things

Last night, for the fourth time in as many weeks, I was able to provide a compassionate ear for someone that desperately needed to be heard.

Now more than ever, the world needs kindness; and I’m so glad that I was able to make my own small contribution in this regard.

My spouse and I just had the most wonderfully absurd exchange regarding a hypothetical scenario in which the titular protagonist of the 1968 musical Oliver! was portrayed by the (inexplicably and uncommented-upon) fully-grown actor, Henry Cavill.

This lead to the following delightful mental image:

As weapon rules go, combi-weapons are one of the most intuitive:

“This is a boltgun* and a special weapon taped together. Each shooting phase, fire one or the other.”

I’m all for streamlining in 10th; but this seems like an unnecessary change.

My suspicion is that GW isn’t worried about rules bloat here; but rather, that the new datacard format would need five** weapon profiles to represent whatever combination of boltgun / meltagun / flamer / plasmagun / gravgun the model might be toting.

(As psychic powers are now effectively ‘weapons’ and also have their own profile, I can see why datacard real estate would be a concern.)

* Yes, there are non-Space Marine combi-weapons; but I’m extending the cited example.

** Six if we’re being pedantic and counting storm bolters as combi-bolters…

So, this is going to ruffle some feathers...

Combi-Weapons have been simplified to the point of no longer having variety.

It might just be for the Terminator Librarian, but that seems unlikely.

When people were bragging about codex creep being undone in 10E, did they consider that would include Imperial factions -including Marines?

Or did they just want everyone else to stop having strengths that were better than Marines?

In any case; it appears Combi-Weapons are now generic, just like Chaos Terminators' Accursed Weapons.

...

How do I feel about this? Hmmm... I dunno: 'salright I guess. Not that big of a deal. Wounding all Infantry of a 4+ and dishing out Mortals on a 6+ to wound isn't a bad deal.

It will make Chaos Terminators and their limited ranged weapon options a lot better. Just give them all Combi-Weapons for bulk Anti-Infantry 4+ and Devastating Wounds - could be nice.

Probably the worst part of this, will be for Orks. Kombi-Skorchas were a way to mitigate BS5+. Now they'll lose auto-hits? And will it be a mandatory -1 to hit? So BS6+ in 10E?

Even when Imperials are nerfed, Xenos get it worse off.

ADHD

Ah, so.

What can I say?

My daughter was diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD this year. I also have three adult friends that are very open about their struggles with the disorder. Between the four of them, I've learned a great deal about the issue.

As often happens in these sorts of situations, I started to see the kind of symptoms they were describing in myself. It went from "Ah, I can relate" to "Why am I in this picture?" to "Wow, I seriously need to get myself checked out". (The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back was a set of compliance courses my employer requires be completed each quarter. The courses themselves are, empirically-speaking, poorly designed; but I struggled with them to such an extent - and my peers did not - that it really highlighted that we weren't having the same experience.)

There has already been an initial assessment; and the takeaway was that I most likely had ADHD too and that a fuller assessment was warranted (which is now scheduled for February).

In the interim, well: in the last three years I've transitioned; begun treatment for PTSD; and now, apparently, discovered that I require treatment for ADHD also.

I am familiar with the gross unfairness of only getting the help I need with the first two so late in life; and fully expect the same sort of feelings to hit me at some point regarding the latter. This hasn't happened yet; but we shall see.

(Not to mention: how the hell did I make it this far in life - let alone remain sufficiently functional to build a career and support my family - with three major irregularities in my brain structure and chemistry? I'm honestly nonplussed.)

Orikan: *Rewinds time*

Trazyn: "...A shred of truth within this tale of yours."

Orikan: "BASTARD!"

"Stop laughing Trazyn, I have a Gf, she's just from another dynasty"

There have been a number of particularly insightful additions to this chain. Courtesy of crazy-pages:

...Relative to the dollar value of labor, video games are cheaper than they've ever been. It's just that the inequality distribution of wealth has changed so much, and cost of living along with it, that the cost of games relative to people's discretionary income after necessities has skyrocketed.

...And robotsandfrippary:

That's where your $60 goes. To the corporation and CEOs, not the devs... It's killing games, and none of us know what to do about it because we're busy scrambling to find work and feed our families.

...And nerdlingwrites:

Approximately 9,000 people in the industry were laid off in 2023, and so far this year there's an estimated 8,000... I think we've gone past crash, and now the entire industry is imploding.

The pandemic was (I know, I know; Apollo's gift of prophecy) a once in a lifetime event; and for all of the disruption, devastation, and deaths it caused, some industries - such as those offering entertainment at a time of mass quarantine - made out extremely well.

Unfortunately, America's particular brand of short-term, shareholder-centric capitalism demands that the Lines Goes Ever Upwards (even when the explanation for a much-needed correction is as simple and easily-digested as "We experienced an unexpected windfall due to one-time exterior circumstances").

This is why the price of games goes up, even as consumer purchasing power goes down; why massive layoffs are occurring across multiple industries (even as companies report record profits against a background of sustained economic growth).

The entire system is sick, and growing sicker; and until such a time as we stop treating share price as an objective measure of value, it will grow sicker still.

As for what this means for the video game industry at present? Hard to say; although this wouldn't be the first time the medium has nosedived due to mismanagement on the part of major players.

Historically, the industry has bounced back from prior crashes (and often with new captains at the helm). I imagine however that this will bring little solace both to the developers that have lost their jobs, and the consumers that can no longer afford to engage in this pastime.

Unironically I think we might run into another video game crash like back in the day