Incomplete Sentences

Communication

“A European says: 'I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?' An American says: 'I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?'" - Terry Pratchett

I had the privilege of attending a university with an extremely large contingent of foreign students; many of which I counted as friends, and learned a great deal from.

Sometimes their command of the English language would fail them, and they would apologize. Each time I would say the same thing: "You speak English much better than I speak any other language. You have nothing to apologize for".

This trend has continued over to my IT department, which has featured from inception various individuals of international origin. Occasionally these team members would hit a language barrier, and I would do my best to patiently explain and / or listen to them.

Frustratingly, I found that some of my American colleagues were not willing to similarly engage. Like all such generalizations, there are plenty of diverging outliers; but there is most definitely a tendency in American culture to blame communication failures on the other party.

Some years ago we employed a Soviet emigrant; an exceptionally intelligent and knowledgeable individual, but someone for whom English was not a strength. This wasn't an issue until he was moved - against my protests - into a position that required significant communication skills; and ultimately this became his undoing and he was dismissed.

I was saddened to learn today that this same situation has been repeated with another non-native English-speaking colleague. She was assigned new responsibilities that required an extensive amount of communication and coordination (despite being initially hired in on the strength of her technical skills); and now she too has been dismissed.

Perhaps I am oversimplifying; but it is very difficult to see these conflicts as the one-way failure that termination of employment would suggest.

Escalator

While attending CONvergence, my friend and I needed to translate from one floor to another. Fortuitously, the venue had built an efficient escalator system for just this purpose.

As we escalated, a teenage girl (I presume; pronouns were not established) followed behind me. "I like your bag", she said; looking at all the little Mikus on the flap. There was a pause, and then she added, "I like your pins".

There are four pins on the rear of the bag - Amaterasu of Ōkami fame; one that reads "Hormone Therapy Club" and another, "Protect Trans Kids". (The fourth, less controversially, exclaims "Mom Vibes".)

"I wish the kids at school would stop calling me the f-slur". She said this with such quiet sadness in her voice. I didn't know what to say; couldn't say anything. It broke my heart.

We both stopped off at the next floor, and turned in opposite directions. I turned back. "Hey!" I yelled. "It will get better, okay? It will get better." That's the best I could manage.

I hope, wherever she is now, she's happy.

Post-meeting meeting

A coworker called me today post-meeting just to complement my choice of floral top. It was highly unexpected, but quite welcome!

(An unfortunate consequence of moving to a remote working environment is that there are very few opportunities for these sorts of small but significant personal interactions. So this made a very pleasant change of pace!)

Two useful additions: First: The Paradox Of Tolerance. Per Karl Popper: “Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them... We should therefore claim, in the name of tolerance, the right not to tolerate the intolerant. We should claim that any movement preaching intolerance places itself outside the law...“

Second: this rather instructive video by Innuendo Studios. (Transcript for the reading-inclined.) It succinctly encapsulates the origins and character of modern Conservatism, and how contrary to all assertions, intolerance appears to very much be an intended feature and not a bug.

Conservatives will be like “Why are you holding me accountable for my bigoted beliefs? Whatever happened to tolerance???”

Unexpected HRT side-effect #14

I have a lot of insecurity about is my hairline. I am, in retrospect, very lucky; I had very thick hair growing up, and even though it thinned over the years, I avoided the male-pattern baldness that struck my siblings. That’s no meager blessing for a trans woman that began her journey late in life.

However; at the time I began my transition, it had thinned extensively; especially at the peak. This really didn’t do any favors for my self-consciousness at the time.

Now, strictly speaking, some level of hair restoration is not uncommon with HRT; however, it’s far from guaranteed, and there’s no set timeline in which it might happen. After a year, I felt like very little had changed (which I attributed to the original loss being caused by damage, and not years of testosterone poisoning).

Imagine my surprise then at seeing an older picture of myself, and realizing that the problem then was a lot more severe than it is now. It’s a very difficult thing to gauge, but it feels like maybe a few long-dormant follicles have sprung back to life!

More generally, it seems that many of the hair-related side effects of HRT just take a long, long time to kick in. I had some hairs on my shoulders and upper arms; and as they were still present six months into my HRT regimen, I planned on having them removed. I recently discovered that they seem to have mainly disappeared of their own accord; so evidently I just need to be patient about these things!

Bras are tricky!

I have one traditional strappy, claspy bra; and everything else is a padded bralette (effectively a comfy, casual running bra).

The reason I have only the one strappy bra right now is because the aforesaid straps keep falling down; and the reason the straps keep falling down is because my band is too tight. The band is too tight as, generally speaking, women with A-cup breasts rarely have a 40″ chest.

Unfortunately for me, I am an outlier in that - unlike many women - I spent a number of years accumulating visceral fat in my torso under the influence of testosterone (contributing to its unusual size); and then decided to instigate a second puberty late in life (and hence, I have two girls that are still in their initial growth phase and will be for quite some time).

(I’m not an expert, but I think most women take a more direct route when it comes to puberty.)

It’s not the end of the world by any stretch; and with time, my proportions will fall more into line with female standards (even if I’m never going to have, say, an overly girlish skeletal structure)! As with so many other transition-related matters however; the challenge is in the wait.

In the meantime, I’m just gonna keep fixing my straps throughout the day!

'Standard Clitoris™'

Apologies for those that read the title with confusion and / or an injured sense of propriety; there is critical context here, I promise!

Act I:

Two years ago, I contacted Mt. Sinai's Center For Transgender Medicine And Surgery; with the intent of pursuing gender reassignment.

(The people there are lovely; but this was still an incredibly involved and rather stressful process, as (a) my health insurer required numerous hurdles be jumped before they would authorize the surgery; and (b) the Mt. SInai health system is located in New York, whereas I am quite definitively not.)

I ended up consulting with renowned vaginoplasty surgeon Dr. Miro Djordjevic. For those not in the know, Dr. Miro originates from Serbia; and while he speaks excellent English, he also has a flair for creating unusual turns of phrase that are as delightful as they are unexpected.

To transcribe this conversation (to the best of my recollection):

"Dr. Miro - what level of control do you have over the appearance of the new vulva?"

"Oh, Lauren; many young girls, they come in here with pictures of other women, they say: 'Dr. Miro, please can you make my new vagina look like this'. And I say, 'I cannot, I am sorry; for the final appearance is very dependent on your individual anatomy'. However, I understand this, and I will give you a very good vagina, a very beautiful vagina; you will see."

"Ah! This makes sense to me. Let me rephrase my question: once I am healed, I hope to have my clitoris pierced; but I understand that this requires the anatomy to be a certain way."

"Lauren, in many surgeries, you are the first girl that has asked this. But! The clitoris, this I can change! You tell me what size your clitoris should be, and I will do this for you."

Act II:

Thus, I visited my local piercing parlor; and provided my piercer with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to specify the exact dimensions and (and other qualities) of the clitoris that they would, in future, be piercing.

The takeaways were surprisingly straightforward:

The clitoris needed to be large enough to pierce (with an overall diameter of 10mm suggested as an appropriate target).

There needed to be sufficient space between the clitoris and clitoral hood to comfortably fit a Q-Tip.

So armed, I prepared for the day of surgery (a tale in its own right).

Act III:

It is the 9th of February, 2023; and I am currently sitting in the pre-op room, meeting the vast team of individuals who will shortly be participating in the surgical revamp of my genitalia (or the critical task of ensuring that I remain wholly unconscious during said revamp, but not so unconscious that, say, my heart stops).

It is here that I see Dr. Miro once again; and remind him of our previous conversation and my subsequent fact-finding mission regarding clitoral anatomy as it pertains to piercing suitability:

"Okay, so: my piercer says that the clitoris should be around 10mm in diameter; and that there should be enough space between the clitoris and hood to fit a Q-Tip."

...To which Dr. Miro wryly shook his head, and proceeded to hew from his English lexicon a brand-new term that has lived with me ever since:

"Lauren, Lauren! Why didn't you say? This is Standard Clitoris™! This is what I was going to give you anyway!"

...And so it was, as I rapidly drifted towards my robotically-assisted neovaginal destiny (and away from consciousness), that the primary thought looping through my mind was: "I should have known: the Standard Clitoris™"!

To go in the opposite direction:

It’s theorized that the Red Templars are a Black Templars successor.

Their armor is (unsurprisingly), red; and their chapter insignia, fittingly enough, is a fleur-de-lis.

Those Black Templars of yours would look pretty darn sharp painted up in crimson; and standing next to their allies, the Order Of The Bloody Rose… 🙂

Been going through my pile of opportunities for something to be my next project.

I think it is time:

But the question is, do I build them by themselves or do I make these two as accompaning armies?

I absolutely love the sister/BT vibe and together they would look baller. But this is a lot of black armour to paint for someone who loathes painting black armour 😅

Some observations:

"No new sculpts after the fact."

Games Workshop have been transparent about their 10th Edition roadmap; which includes releasing a new codex for each faction, to bring them into line with the new rule set.

Between the rapid pace of release and the focus on mechanical changes, most of the codexes have been accompanied by a modest number of new models at best.

Games Workshop previewed a single new Adeptus Custodes model at the start of March: the Shield-Captain. One hardly requires inside insight to deduce that the Custodes probably won't be getting more models in the immediate near future.

"Social media department jumped the gun and tried to put out fires with the wrong hose."

This is an attempt to discredit Games Workshop's immediate response, via Twitter, that female Custodes are canon (both in the present setting, and retroactively throughout the setting's history).

Discreditation only makes sense if one assumes the following:

First, that there are actual 'fires' (i.e. that this change is impacting Games Workshop's business model in some capacity). There is no evidence that this is the case: the complaints are coming from a small minority of fans; and specifically, far-right fans.

(Games Workshop have previously sought to distance themselves from the latter; ironically, because said association does pose a threat to the business model).

Second, that the company's social media team are either able to announce major lore changes without first consulting with the relevant internal parties, or that they face no consequences for doing so.

(This would appear not to be the case, given that the relevant Tweet remains publicly viewable, and no retraction has been issued.)

"Intent is to push female Custodes character in Amazon show without it 'breaking lore' because Amazon execs wanted a woman in power armor and wouldn't settle for SoB."

There's a lot to unpack here.

The idea that Amazon executives perceive power armor as a majorly marketable concept is ludicrous; as is the idea that they are sufficiently well-versed in lore to accurately differentiate between the Adeptus Custodes and the Sisters Of Battle.

(These are matters of interest for the kind of nerds that comprise the fandom; and not high-level entertainment industry management.)

Let's just assume for a second that this is true, however: then why on earth would said executives try to soft-launch what they believe to be a highly-marketable concept via codex microfiction?

After all: such executives are famously fearless when it comes to meddling with source material; yet we are supposed to believe that they feel it important these changes are reflected in a rules supplement?

And that brings us to...

"...Cavill threatening to walk away from the project."

Henry Cavill famously quit the cast of The Witcher because it diverged too far from the source material. Now he's working on developing Warhammer: 40,000 content for Amazon; not as actor (although he'll undoubtedly feature), but as executive producer.

The aforementioned Amazon executives would be displaying an incredible lack of business acumen in attempting to force source material changes on a star actor and producer who has been quite clear in his refusal to accept such changes.

"GW figures it can ride it out if it stays mum on the subject."

An interesting note here: to 'stay mum' is a British idiom (i.e.: "Remain quiet"). And yet earlier, the same author used the word 'armor' (and not it's equivalent British spelling, 'armour').

This is purely speculatory on my part; but I'm inclined to believe that the author is American. If so, this raises questions about how precisely they acquired inside information from a company headquartered in another country (which is precisely why they are cosplaying as a Brit).

(It has also been my observation thus far that the majority of fans kicking up a fuss over female Custodes are far-right-aligned Americans. British fans are, of course, equally capable of overreaction; but there's been a very specific culture war aspect to the complaints that is very much a hallmark of American conservatism.

This is worth noting for a variety of reasons; but one of the most pertinent is that the American far-right utilizes a "Ends justify the means" approach to debate; i.e. outright fabrication of evidence is entirely permissible.)

Last, but not least:

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Any party treating any part of the original post as fact is either deeply unaware of the lack of credibility inherent to anonymous image boards, or is so entrenched in their position that they are willing to accept and endorse non-credible evidence.

Neither is a good look.

I found the original because I kept seeing this being quoted at random.

To everyone crying because "GW is making fun of us, they think we're stupid😡", yes. Yes you are. Yes you are if you believed this obvious troll.

They even added the "trust me bro, my dad works at Nintendo".

This is long overdue; but thanks to @ghastspidergwen for the tag! 🙂

...

Last song: Lust For Lies, by The New Division.

Favorite color(s): they change periodically; currently in are dark reds, greens, and teals!

Currently watching: whatever delightfully absurd game-streaming compilation my kiddo chooses to share with me. (The most recent was PointCrow trekking a straight line across the entire Legend Of Zelda: Tears Of The Kingdom map, sans upgrades.)

Sweet / savory / spicy: all of the above! My only corollary is that I quickly find too much of either sweet or savory to be overpowering; and need to alternate between the two.

Relationship status: currently celebrating my 20th year of marriage!

Current obsession: I recently reignited my passion for customizing the 8" figures from the short-lived GI Joe: Sigma 6 line (and just finished indexing a 200-page notebook specifically to record my ideas in).

(Honorable mentions: learning to play the blues on the guitar; learning to play Elgar's Variation IX (Adagio) "Nimrod" on the piano; creating updated versions of the Warhammer: 40,000 Chaos Champions I originally converted in my youth; downsizing my not-insignificant stockpile of nerdy collectibles.)

...

There's zero pressure to join in; but the following people routinely brighten my dashboard, and I would love to know more about them! 🙂

@cronnissar,

@foone,

@owlrageousjones,

@transmechanicus,

@socialistexan,

@whenflowersfade.

Nine people i'd like to get to know better:

Tagged by: @bell-of-indecision, thank you so much for tagging me <3

Last Song: Gmfu by Odetari,6arelyhuman

Favourite colour: Dark red, violet, pink

Currently watching: Death note, ep6

Spicy/Savoury/Sweet: Spicy

Relationship status: Single

Current Obsession: Mbti types and cognitive functions.

Tagging: @somin-yin @a-cloud-for-dreams @axepen @hinsaa-paramo-dharma @basic-bitch-alkali @rhysaka @blackknight-100 @squishywizardd @reykalot