Reblog If You've Found Friendship Because Of Your Fandoms.

Humans are peaceful, not harmless

If you are unable to fight you are not peaceful, you are harmless. Only when you have the capacity for violence and yet choose not to use it are you truly peaceful. This is an important lesson learned when humans encounter aliens who have never met a species like them before.

The new species to enter into negotiations with the Trade Federation were not wholly unlike many others.

They travelled in groups and were highly social, an important trait where cooperation was agreed as a universal requirement to gain technological advancement.

When the Ambassador and their entourage arrived they gave their official designation name to be Human and their planet of origin Earth, a word which our translators seem to think means something like ‘fertile ground’.

With the Ambassador came the priests, at least or so we thought. They carried talismans and wore ornate clothing, speaking little, and behaving in accordance with strict hierarchy, just like the monks of the ancient worlds. It spoke to us of a thoughtful and careful people, certainly the Ambassador consulted frequently with the senior priestess known by her title of General.

Our chosen negotiation centre was the planetoid of Jaril, close enough to Human territory to not put them too far out of their way and yet also not too far for us. We hoped it would become a good neutral trade site once we discovered what we held in common.

The grave mistake of ours was to assume it was also a site far enough from the Tarma for them to not take an interest. The Tarma are an unusual species in that they are evolved from apex predators, a situation we thought impossible until they first burst into our territory. What form of predator is social and cooperative enough to advance? It turns out some apex predators turn spare time between hunts into complex mating rituals requiring feats of intellect and ingenuity, for which family groups will band together to get the best bloodlines.

Still, the Tarma are a huge problem when most of us are the survivors of prey ancestors whose cooperation was essential to survival from predation.

When their ships were spotted we prepared to do as we have always done, to retreat and reconvene in a safer location at a later date.

Then the human Ambassador turned to the General and said, “I believe this is where I hand over to you.”

The General bared her teeth in the most disconcerting way as she smiled. “I believe it is.”

Before we could begin our evacuation, the human priests did what we at first mistook for a starburst escape. We were horrified when their tiny ships navigated towards the Tarma, we thought they were about to be slaughtered.

The Tarma were no more prepared for what happened next than we were.

The Human Ambassador was not travelling with priests, he was travelling with warriors. I will swear on my herd’s life, I saw the most peaceful and reserved creatures turn from monk to exterminator in moments and I was thoroughly shocked to my core.

In less than a Human hour the Tarma had fled and the General calmly returned command to the Ambassador.

“But, we thought you were a peaceful people.” My diplomacy, I fear, suffered for the stress of the situation.

“We are.” the Ambassador reassured us. “We come in peace to trade, to explore, and to learn. We mean no harm to anyone who does no harm to us.”

“How can you claim to be harmless when you did that?” I gestured to the debris still visible from the viewing window.

“If I may.” the General spoke softly. “We stated from the start we are a peaceful species, perhaps you simply mistranslated the meaning of our words. We are not evolved from prey, nor from apex predators. We are from a place in the middle, we are the hunted and the hunter. You mistook us for a harmless species, when in fact we can do a great deal of harm, we simply choose to reciprocate peace.”

We have a new and powerful ally now.

A species willing to trade combat for peace.

Humans are weird thing: Hiccups

I don't know if this has been done, but the first time a human gets hiccups when on an alien crew.

It is meal time and suddenly one human who finished eating faster than the others makes a loud sound that has yet to be documented. At first the aliens think that human Mike got suddenly excited and did a strange shout, but that possibility is thwarted when the sound is repeated. Human Mike scowls at the other humans who have started snickering at him.

Perhaps it is an angry noise? Why is Human Mike angry though? He did not show signs of it previously, and nothing has happened between eating and the noise to make him angry. Why must human emotions be so confusing?

"Try drinking water upside-down." Human Dawn suggests randomly, "That's what we always do where I grew up."

"No do NOT drink water upside-down!" An alien crew mate panics. "Doing so could cause you to choke and die!"

"NO!!!" All the aliens who have experience with humans shout at the crew mate who told Human Mike not to do it.

Everyone knows not to tell a human not to do something. It's the first rule in the handbook. They all sigh in resignation at the smirking humans.

Human Mike gets out of his seat, raises his arms, and flips to stand on his hands. Human Dawn who suggested the action is already prepared with her bottle of water. His body wobbles as he hiccups again, and she quickly pours it in his mouth.

There is a tense silence as the entire room watches. A moment later there is another hiccup large enough to send Human Mike tumbling to the floor, cursing loudly at his misfortune. The aliens breathe in relief, a higher up taking the new recruit out of the room for a refresher course on rule number one of dealing with humans.

Throughout the rest of the day, the other humans could be found trying to scare the hiccupping Human Mike with varying degrees of success. The hiccups finally stopped when Human Mike was trying to hold his breath, and Human Josh came up behind him and slammed into his back to scare him. It caused him to choke, yet he seemed grateful to Human Josh anyway.

Secret Clones AU

Short version: Secret Clones AU is the clones going into hiding in plain sight across the galaxy to force a fair wage and also to keep the babies safe from Kaminoans

The clones figure out the plan to take advantage of them, brain chips, etc. several years before the war hits. IDK how, maybe Jango decided to take a closer look with Mij and went Oh Shit. Doesn't matter. Point is, they caught on and decided that they needed to uhhhhh get Out.

There are millions of clones, yes, but there are tens of thousands of planets.

Once the chips are out and someone's jabbed them with anti-aging serum... they're not that different from standard humans.

And it's not exactly hard to tie up the Kaminoans long enough to get off planet.

So what happens is that a while, let's say a year and a half, before the war kicks off, you have a mass exodus from Kamino, and a wide dispersal of clones. They are generally staying together in groups of about half a dozen, claiming to be brothers, so that there's a 16-18-ish looking clone to take lead, with progressively younger cadets to look after. Each one has a commander they can 'report' to in case of emergency, and if something goes real bad, they can call in an Alpha (and Alphas can call in Jango in a worst case scenario).

It's still sort of a military structure, but... it's a phone tree.

And you have one of these groups of half a dozen clones in every major city. There are thousands of planets, and most of those planets have more than one city. Denon and Coruscant are nothing but city, so they can get counted as dozens of cities on their own. It's easy to disappear in places like that.

It's so easy for the clones, before anyone knows them, to just... disappear. Go into hiding in plain sight.

It's not like more than a handful of people know what to look for.

(It's not like they have a centralized record of who went where.)

(It's just the phone tree.)

They still get real excited-happy-eager when they run into a Jedi.

They want to work with Jedi. They're the good guys! And they're cool!

But your army did a mass desertion before the war started and finding/recruiting all of them is going to take a stupid amount of money. You cannot hire a bounty hunter for each and every clone.

And as @bytebun put it:

Somebody two years later: you look …familiar. Have we met? Clone: haha I get that a lot just one of those faces

AND THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE THE GALAXY IS HECKING MASSIVE

I think the Republic has to like… negotiate with Jango and the Alphas and set up paid contracts if they want these Ultra Skilled Warriors to fight for them.

The clones can fight. Some of them even want to fight. They are good at this and they recognize that many of the things that are occurring under Separatist invasion are Mega Bad.

But like. Pay them and treat them as citizens, first.

The Jedi are even more confused about this identical army that really loves them than they are in canon Where the heck did you guys come from Who trained you Why do you like us What the heck is going on

"Someone wanted us to be a trap for you but we took the trap out. Here we have a sample if you want. Anyway. We like you guys and want to fight with you because honestly civilian life is way understimulating. Let me punch a droid."

I think a few of the clones do 'scouting' where they voluntarily help a Jedi in the field to gather information on their validity as Friends. Cody keeps a number of spreadsheets that are just Various Jedi Encounters.

Rex does a scouting mission with Kenobi&Skywalker and just goes to Cody like "Listen. I know he's insane. But. I want that one."

Rex just "I call dibs" "Cody. Cody did you hear me. Dibs, I call dibs."

@catboydogma: stats for pong krell are all zeroes

Absolute shit tier Jedi They play rock paper scissors to decide who has to deal with him

A solid half of the clones don't get recruited because the lack of advanced aging (past a certain point) means they're physically still minors and My Dad (Alphas and CCs) Said No. They stay behind on their various planets to look after The Real Babies.

"Let me ask my dad" "Wait--" "He said no."

Just want these boys to have Civilian Lives they can return to or at least experience before war gets them all fucked up.

I think some of them try to Make Connections with influential people (whether politicians or like... Space Influencers) so they have people vouching for them once the war kicks off. And there can be at least some public pushback on functionally enslaving them.

"I can't believe you manipulated people into liking you! That's so mean!" "Well you see. I wanted to survive past the age of eleven. So."

Honestly one of my fave fic things atm is when Fox is with his batch and casually mentions something horrific that the Guard thinks is normal and his batch just blue screen because Fox WTF that’s not normal or right but Fox had assumed they all went though the same thing and hadn’t know the rest of the GAR weren’t being treated the way the Corries were.

Was a plo koon warmup initially as suggested by @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life when I encountered this dialogue idea from @totallycorrectjediorderquotes and it went overboard from there! The “Protocol” number is indeed a reference to something in star wars, so I’m curious to see if anyone figures it out!

crack AU idea:

The war is over. Sheevy is dead. Everything is perfect.

...except for the little bitty problem of how the clones don't have citizenship and aren't even recognized as sentient beings.

Jedi are scrambling to find a way to get the clones legal rights and finally realize that the easiest way is to just accept them into the Jedi order, which would grant automatic citizenship.

But you gotta be force-sensitive. Since they're all clones of Jango Fett, who was as force-sensitive as a rock, they don't qualify. (I love the idea of FS-clones but just not in this AU lol.)

Jocasta does some digging in the archives and discovers something interesting: an old old old law, SUPER old, that states that the spouse of any Jedi, and that spouse's immediate relatives, are automatically granted a place in the Jedi order, regardless of midichlorian levels. (Back when getting married was something Jedi did, they knew that that meant if the spouse & spouse's family was non-Jedi, they could be in danger/used as leverage against the Jedi, and this was a way to protect them.)

And clones definitely count as immediate relatives.

Chaos ensues.

I'm picturing a council meeting where half the Jedi just left to go find some Space Asprin because the whole fiasco is a headache and the rest of the people there are:

Depa, chatting with Shaak: I considered myself and Grey, but we've always been more like platonic partners. I know he sees Caleb as a son, but my feelings for him are familial and I know it's the same for him.

Shaak: I agree, some of the clones overheard me saying I would do it if it meant they'd be safe and their response was unanimously no no no you're like our mom

Plo, to no one in particular: Does it have to be a marriage? Could it be an adoption? asking for a friend.

Anakin, newly appointed to the council: wait so NOW we can get married??????

Obi-Wan: no Anakin, this is an extenuating circumstance, not a new rule

Anakin: we could make it a new rule

Plo, turning to Shaak: what if we got married, and then adopted all the clones?

Aayla, kicking the door open: I VOLUNTEER

...I have many more thoughts about this AU and will elaborate later.

sketches of scenes from "Shattered Mirrors" by Catnoodles (ao3). idk if they hav any socials so😭but anyways this fic absolutely ruins me and has so many tropes that i love UGH it lives in my head rent tf free🤧🫠(although the monkey mk aspect is my own personal touch hehe)

OBI-WAN KENOBI 1.01 | Part I

Spiderman Field Trip Fic Recs

Whoever came up with this trope honestly deserves an award... every single one of them manages to do something different, and most of them are hilarious!

This is the worst timeline by Hittinmiss (6.6k)

this fic is absolutely hysterical from start to finish, with cameos from almost all of the Avengers and a (let's be honest) realistic number of vine references.

Mr Stark Enough For You? (another field trip fic bcs we dont have enough) by Livinei (7k)

this is one of my all time favourite field trip fics... the relationship with tony & peter is just written so perfectly and it is so sweet!

It's Above My Clearance Level by tsk (5k)

this fic is so funny!!! the sheer curiosity of all of Peter's classmates even when they are getting told they can't ask questions makes me laugh every time

Perhaps He's Not Missing Out After All. by NotYoCheese (6.6k)

this is just so sweet!! i would pay all of the money to see the look on Flash's face as well xD

The Field Trip by DJ_unicornsgr8 (8.6k)

i think the tag "Flash has no sense of self preservation" sums this entire fic up pretty well!

Definitely Worth It by jennylarner (16k)

Peter is not having a good day in this, but it is so worth it, exactly as the title says!

from your perspective, the world is flat by blueh (18k)

this fic has a lot more peril than most of them do, and i would say it's probably it's the different to the rest of the fics... but it is written amazingly, and i just love all of the characters in this!

so...that's all of them. if you have any fic suggestions or you want me to make a specific fic rec list, feel free to ask! and, as always, thank you to all the wonderful authors for writing and sharing all of these :D