Thanks For The Tag @chopper-base

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

✨Fresh paint!✨

These two OCs I made years ago just fit the palette so well I had to do them. Orange it Volpe and green is Finn. They are based in the world of RWBY and I love them so much.

The thing is, with our skeletons the way they are, humans can bend. We make a point of becoming more flexible, bending this way and that and sometimes it for sure can look like we’ve got no structure. A lot of alien races are fascinated with how we move and bend because sometimes its so fluid. 

Especially in fights. 

They see us thrown against walls, flying through the air, our limbs bending in, what to us is unnatural ways, but the aliens don’t know we aren’t supposed to do that. To them, we seem like ragdolls, our bodies flopping and waving all over the place. They’re not gentle with us, throwing us over their shoulders in the rush to retreat and get back to the base, and even when not in a fight, they tend to throw us around with wild abandon (its usually no big deal, most humans think its hilarious and fun and no one really minds.)

And then they find out about our bones. 

Its a quiet, tense moment. A team had been dispatched to ‘ease the switch in political leaders’ on one of the more difficult inner planets and the current monarch was not having it. In a final attempt to keep control, the monarch had thought using one of the humans on the team as a  hostage was a good idea. They’re holding the human in a way that would look painful, arm twisting too far and the monarch is shouting, demanding that they be left in control. The others on the team are just grinning because if the monarch is threatening to break the human, they’re in for a big surprise. Humans don’t have a structure. They flop around as they please, held steady as simply a mass of meat!

The monarch, it seems, doesn’t like to be laughed at. The pull, and twist and-

SSS-NAP

And the human is screaming, their face contorted in pain. The monarch jerks the arm around. An audible -pop- fills the room, and the team hear it just over the screams of their friend. Then comes the other arm -SNAP- and the leg -CRACK-

The human is bent, but…its in a way that the others have seen often and isn’t that…isn’t that fine? Aren’t they supposed to do that? What was that horrible snap? As it turns out, one can’t hear very well the snapping of bones in the pandemonium of battle. 

Everyone’s a bit quiet, struck by the shouts of pain and sobs coming from their human before finally, mercifully, they pass out. Then all hell breaks loose. The rest of the team dispatch the monarch with unusual ease and entirely too quickly. Then, as gently and slowly as they can, they pick up the human. The angles of their limbs look sickening to them now, and they bring them back to the base where, for once, they actually stay in the medical bay to watch them be patched up and their bones reset. 

From then on, they are much more careful with their human companion and feel the proper amount of horror and concern upon seeing them thrown about in a fight. Still, it takes some time to convince them that yoga is an alright thing to do and that no, Susan is a contortionist, her body CAN do that. 

if you bully people on anon, your blorbo hates you. they told me themselves. ❤️

“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me?”

— Ayn Rand

Cody's Best One-Liners

There’s a piece of flimsi tacked to the wall, unassuming in a way that is casually acute and altogether too smug. The letters loop gracefully, but they point at the ends like a lighthearted jab.

Which, naturally, they are, because at the top of the flimsi in Obi-Wan’s dry-humored handwriting is written “Cody’s Best One-Liners.”

Cody never knows whether to laugh or grimace or roll his eyes, but for the life of him he doesn’t have the heart to take it down.

So it grows, an entry popping up every few days with the same amused devotion that plays in the twitches of the Jedi Master’s beard.

“Maybe a cough drop would do it.” And the admirals had glowered, but Obi-Wan hacked out a strangled laugh and suggested that perhaps, indeed, General Grievous could be persuaded to negotiate.

“If you leave them alone they’ll be glued together by the time anyone gets back.” Boil looked affronted, but Waxer had covered giggles behind his hands while Boil’s mask melted. They snorted, identically, and even the shinies had laughed.

“No need to call the demolition crew. Rex’s guys will take care of it.”

“You’re not confused, sir, you’re just wrong.”

“Wolfpack’s late again - I suppose General Koon really is serious about that parental quality time thing….”

“You are not excused from eating your rations unless the Force feeds you, which is exactly what I will do if you don’t.”

Obi-Wan takes great pleasure in adding to it. He saunters up to the flimsi almost lazily, a pen between his fingers, a loose grin coloring his cheeks, and pointedly does not look at Cody when he makes his little expansions. He just smiles, somewhere between stupid and knowing. It’s insufferably affectionate, and it drives Cody half-mad.

It’s safely in their joint apartment, the one the Jedi and the Marshal Commander accidentally share, so it’s not like someone will stumble in to see it. A private joke.

But Obi-Wan’s other great pleasure comes from dropping hints about it. “We ought to write that one down, Commander,” he’ll say, or “how I wish I were inspired enough to make even half of Cody’s quips.”

Most embarrassingly, he introduces them both to the new batch of shinies with “don’t be fooled by Cody’s formidable exterior. Our dear Commander has quite the sense of humor….” which makes Cody glad for his bucket. Wooley excuses himself and steps a safe distance away, where undoubtedly he can laugh without the shinies knowing.

But Cody looks back at it and can’t help feeling warm.

He sits on the tiny couch they share, in the common room between their separate bedrooms. There’s movement on the other side of the thin wall - Obi-Wan must be in the ‘fresher. His datapad is held in his lap; a cup of caf steams on the wobbly end table beside him.

Obi-Wan comes through the door, a cup of warm tea pressed into his palm, and settles next to Cody on the couch. The drink is herbal, subtle, a vaguely floral sweetness. There is something stronger underneath, solid and quietly bright.

“Cassius?” the commander asks, and cants his head towards the mug.

The Jedi hums. “The Mandalorians say it brings good health.”

Cody looks up, a wry smile and raised eyebrows and a soft tease. “I hope so, considering your vendetta against a full night’s sleep.”

Obi-Wan throws his head back and laughs, comfortably surprised. The sound is effortlessly joyful, and Cody wishes for that kind of peace. The general seems to carry it inside of him, as if it is woven into the essence of his flesh, his clothes, his beard, into the crabbed, gentle elegance of his handwriting.

Obi-Wan fumbles for a pen.

*******

212th for 212? More coming soon, hopefully :)

I wrote the beginning of this piece a few weeks ago and ran right into a wall. It took some effort to finish, but I do love this idea. If anyone's seen this post, yeah. I will never get over Cody's dumb f**king banter. Or Cody, in general.

I will, therefore, leave you with an alternate one-liner that *almost* made it in here. Wolfpack's late again - though I would be too if I had to organize a platoon's worth of Father's Day gifts for General Koon.

TBOBF in 3....

2....

1....

taglist: @sexy-rex @artemis98 @handsignals @ladysongmaster @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR MOSS!!!!!!! UR AN OLD MAN NOW!! i hope u have a fantastic wonderful day bc u deserve only the best :)) can i pls get. spectres / rebels modern au. with fluff :)

THANK YOU BELOVED

only a week late!! BUT. here!

-

"I've changed my mind," Kanan says. "Letting you get me into archery was the best decision I've ever made."

Hera snorts from behind him, dropping her forehead onto his shoulder and moving her hands down to his waist. She presses her hips closer to his and a kiss to his jaw, then starts correcting his posture.

"Elbow down, love." She taps it and Kanan moves down so it's level with his chin. "I am fully aware that you wanted me to do this in a sexy way, just so you know, but I'm too invested in making sure your form is good."

"You focus on my form, I'll focus on the horny," Kanan jokes, waggling his eyebrows in such an endearingly dumb fashion that Hera can't help but kiss him.

"Maybe if we both focus on your form you might actually hit something," Hera teases. Kanan gasps, faux offended, and proceeds to lament at how horribly his wife treats him.

"Such cruelty from such a pretty woman," he bemoans. "I can't believe you'd treat me like this. This is homophobia and racism and sexism. I have been hate-crimed."

Hera outright laughs at that, dropping her hold on Kanan so that she can double over and use her hands to try to muffle her laughter. "Racism," she giggles. "I'm from Haiti, you dumb fuck."

"And I'm Latino, what's your point?" Kanan shoots back, a grin on his face. "Racism, I tell you. You are conspiring to bully me over my terrible archery skills because I'm Latino and you're not."

"Bozhe moy," comes a tired, Russian voice. "They're at it again, Zeb."

Hera looks behind her, a wide smile on her face. Aleksandr Kallus, Zeb's mysterious Russian boyfriend whom Hera is fairly sure is ex-FSB, is walking over to them with a pistol at his waist, his ear defenders round his neck, and Zeb's arm round his hips. Ezra trails behind them, looking dejected.

Ezra was adopted when he was seven and Hera and Kanan were each twenty. He'd been a surly, snappish kid, traumatised by the deaths of his parents only a few months before his adoption. He could've been Kanan's kid by birth, with how similarly they act.

"First you don't let me shoot and then I have to see Mom and Dad being all gross?" The fourteen-year-old complains. "Sabine would let me have a gun."

"No she wouldn't," Aleksandr says firmly. "After lunch I will teach you the air rifle - will that make you feel better?"

Ezra whoops, doing a strange little dance Zeb had taught him the first time they'd met. He's never truly grown out of it - not that Hera cares, she actually really likes the fact that Ezra feels comfortable enough around them to express his happiness - and it makes Zeb smile.

"Don't point the arrow at your feet!" Aleksandr snaps at Kanan, who starts and lifts the bow back up. "If you shoot your foot then you will have problems walking for a very long time."

"Bloody KGB," Kanan teases. He slowly relaxes the bow and takes the arrow out of the nock, putting it back into Hera's quiver.

"That's racist," Aleksandr says, folding his arms and looking at Kanan with an unflinching expression. Kanan stares back, baffled, and Aleksandr's eyebrow twitches from the effort he goes through to hold in his laughter.

Hera watches it click in Kanan's head; he yelps, smacking Aleksandr with his bow. "You are the only white person here!" Kanan retorts, laughing. "This has got to be the most ethnically diverse family in existence!"

And because Hera loves riling him up: "Technically Aleksandr adds to the diversity of the group, love."

Kanan groans.

-

send a (belated) birthday writing prompt?

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DYING AT OBI-WAN ROASTING THE SITH THE JEDI ONLY USE LIGHTSABERS BECAUSE OF WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT WHO THEY ARE AS A PEOPLE “BUT THE SITH USE THEM AS WELL?” “WELL THAT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE OBSESSED WITH US.” AND LIKE HE’S NOT WRONG. THE SITH ARE PRETTY OBSESSED WITH THE JEDI AND I’M JUST LOSING IT BECAUSE OBI-WAN CALLING THE SITH A BUNCH OF OBSESSED LOSERS IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE FUNNIEST THING

headcanon that once when the 501st was on coruscant between missions a group consisting of echo fives jesse kix and rex all decided that they were gonna play as spies and figure out where the fuck skywalker was going every fucking night

like, they have a whole plan: we gotta be stealth, we are speed, we are the shadows. they have to wait outside the jedi temple for hours on end because anakin's schedule is whack and he's really unpredictable and they all have to station themselves at five different exits because anakin always changes it up and they still lose him for the first week

that is, until one night. The group is arguing outside the temple about who is gonna guard what exit (fives really wants to go to the front so he can talk to the hot jedi he saw earlier) when suddenly the window above them slowly slides open and all five of these fully armored clones just swan dive behind garbage cans as anakin dramatic skywalker scales the building from one hundred feet up

they all just look at each other like. wow. it was that easy.

and the thing is is that anakin is so focused on making sure no one is able to see him from a distance that he doesnt even clock in the five clones in bright blue literally five feet away

and they're off, with rex leading the boys on their play away adventure

and it gets really tricky. Anakin walks the entire way ("honestly we should just quit now" -fives) and he's constantly doing his jedi jump tricks and launching himself onto fifty foot buildings so the clones have to make a human ladder and send kix up on comm so he can continue to track (kix is actually the best climber out of all of them due to the fact he always has to scale fucking cliffs to get to skywalker whenever he does something stupid) and they eventually realize exactly where anakin is beelining to. the senate building.

and then anakin just waltzs into the senate like its nothing and all the clones stop and are like "can we do that?" and they agree to just send kix in again to follow like hes on duty and then the rest of them climb using the grappling hooks fives convieniently forgot he had

after kix manages to track anakin to like the millionth floor the clones all meet on the landing deck to this random senator's room (kix had to jump out a window two hallways down and crawl along the window ledges) and then theyre like well whats the worst that happens we get fired?

so they argue and eventually it gets physical to the poitn where jesse and echo straight up launch fives through the window into the room where anakin is sitting watching padme cook on the counter

fives looks up like "heeeey guys whatchu makin?" and anakin immediately force throws him back out

but then the other clones bring it up to just go in so they walk in and as echo is writing down the details of the trip in his notebook jesse is like "are you fucking kidding me skywalker" and rex is shifting on his feet because yeah he knew but he didn't know that was what anakin was doing every night

and then padme sees kix and is like "oh hey kix! are you staying again tonight?"

and thats how kix manipulated his friends into basically breaking and entering when they could have just knocked