Boil, While The 212 Is Relaxing: Sir, If You Don't Mind Me Asking, How Are You So Good At All This War

I watched the humans go into the rec room and lock the door behind them, just like they’ve done once a week for the last month. Captain said to let them have their space, but I couldn’t help but wonder what they did every week.

Tonight I would find out.

I waited until they’d been in there for 30 minutes or so before quietly approaching the door. I sat on the ground and tried to listen. It was very hard to hear anything.

And then something came through very clearly.

“I will stab you!”

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“Like hell it doesn’t concern me. That’s cheating!”

“If both parties agree to the trade, it’s not against the rules.”

“That’s not a real trade and you both know it!”

I discovered I was holding my breath when the humans quieted down and I let it out quite suddenly. Whatever was happening, they seemed distraught.

It was five minutes later when I could hear them again.

“You liar!”

“I didn’t lie.”

“You said you didn’t have any cards!”

“No, I said you weren’t getting any cards.”

“I rolled a seven, that means I get a card.”

“Then why didn’t you take one?”

The next sound was one of a human tackling another. I also heard something falling or breaking. I wasn’t sure. I knew I needed help.

I ran to get the Captain. He’s the only one the humans would listen to when they’re upset. It took some convincing to get him to follow me, but he finally unlocked the door.

It swung open to reveal five humans at a table, cards in hand, and a hexagonal board game on the table. I was confused.

“Derek, how is game night going?” Captain asked.

“Be better if Rosa would stop cheating with Joey,” Derek grumbled.

“I’m not the one who tossed the board to the ground like a toddler,” Rosa replied smugly.

“But, but I heard-“

“Let the humans have their fun. Game night is one of the few harmless activities they have,” the captain interrupted.

He shut the door, and sent me away. I went to bed dumbfounded at how violent the humans words were, and yet how calm they appeared at the table. Game night must be quite the ordeal.

The Girl with the Skeleton Hand

Idk if I’ve mentioned this before but in the animagus AU, Fox is an actual fox animagus. Because of that, in his shifted form, he’s just a kit. Since he got outed as an animagus, he’s often expected to make random shows to the public in his shifted form. At first Palpatine tried to take advantage to claim he’s such a loving and caring chancellor. But then the first time Fox was shifted around him happened.

Fox as a human is very confident and tired. Fox as a kit is very scared and nervous. Which lead to him straight up cowering in fear of the chancellor. Which lead to rumors (fueled covertly by clones that suspect some shit goin on) that the chancellor abuses animaguses.

Which leads to people dredging up an 11 year report of Master Jinn refusing to let his grandpadawan alone with the chancellor cause he himself has raised multiple boys and knows that old men asking to be alone with them is NEVER good.

Which leads to rumors that Palpatine isnt… nice… to animaguses. Which leads to them assuming Palpatine abuses commander Fox.

Can you see where I’m going with this? Cause this is where the start of Palpatine’s decline happened.

Cody's Best One-Liners

There’s a piece of flimsi tacked to the wall, unassuming in a way that is casually acute and altogether too smug. The letters loop gracefully, but they point at the ends like a lighthearted jab.

Which, naturally, they are, because at the top of the flimsi in Obi-Wan’s dry-humored handwriting is written “Cody’s Best One-Liners.”

Cody never knows whether to laugh or grimace or roll his eyes, but for the life of him he doesn’t have the heart to take it down.

So it grows, an entry popping up every few days with the same amused devotion that plays in the twitches of the Jedi Master’s beard.

“Maybe a cough drop would do it.” And the admirals had glowered, but Obi-Wan hacked out a strangled laugh and suggested that perhaps, indeed, General Grievous could be persuaded to negotiate.

“If you leave them alone they’ll be glued together by the time anyone gets back.” Boil looked affronted, but Waxer had covered giggles behind his hands while Boil’s mask melted. They snorted, identically, and even the shinies had laughed.

“No need to call the demolition crew. Rex’s guys will take care of it.”

“You’re not confused, sir, you’re just wrong.”

“Wolfpack’s late again - I suppose General Koon really is serious about that parental quality time thing….”

“You are not excused from eating your rations unless the Force feeds you, which is exactly what I will do if you don’t.”

Obi-Wan takes great pleasure in adding to it. He saunters up to the flimsi almost lazily, a pen between his fingers, a loose grin coloring his cheeks, and pointedly does not look at Cody when he makes his little expansions. He just smiles, somewhere between stupid and knowing. It’s insufferably affectionate, and it drives Cody half-mad.

It’s safely in their joint apartment, the one the Jedi and the Marshal Commander accidentally share, so it’s not like someone will stumble in to see it. A private joke.

But Obi-Wan’s other great pleasure comes from dropping hints about it. “We ought to write that one down, Commander,” he’ll say, or “how I wish I were inspired enough to make even half of Cody’s quips.”

Most embarrassingly, he introduces them both to the new batch of shinies with “don’t be fooled by Cody’s formidable exterior. Our dear Commander has quite the sense of humor….” which makes Cody glad for his bucket. Wooley excuses himself and steps a safe distance away, where undoubtedly he can laugh without the shinies knowing.

But Cody looks back at it and can’t help feeling warm.

He sits on the tiny couch they share, in the common room between their separate bedrooms. There’s movement on the other side of the thin wall - Obi-Wan must be in the ‘fresher. His datapad is held in his lap; a cup of caf steams on the wobbly end table beside him.

Obi-Wan comes through the door, a cup of warm tea pressed into his palm, and settles next to Cody on the couch. The drink is herbal, subtle, a vaguely floral sweetness. There is something stronger underneath, solid and quietly bright.

“Cassius?” the commander asks, and cants his head towards the mug.

The Jedi hums. “The Mandalorians say it brings good health.”

Cody looks up, a wry smile and raised eyebrows and a soft tease. “I hope so, considering your vendetta against a full night’s sleep.”

Obi-Wan throws his head back and laughs, comfortably surprised. The sound is effortlessly joyful, and Cody wishes for that kind of peace. The general seems to carry it inside of him, as if it is woven into the essence of his flesh, his clothes, his beard, into the crabbed, gentle elegance of his handwriting.

Obi-Wan fumbles for a pen.

*******

212th for 212? More coming soon, hopefully :)

I wrote the beginning of this piece a few weeks ago and ran right into a wall. It took some effort to finish, but I do love this idea. If anyone's seen this post, yeah. I will never get over Cody's dumb f**king banter. Or Cody, in general.

I will, therefore, leave you with an alternate one-liner that *almost* made it in here. Wolfpack's late again - though I would be too if I had to organize a platoon's worth of Father's Day gifts for General Koon.

TBOBF in 3....

2....

1....

taglist: @sexy-rex @artemis98 @handsignals @ladysongmaster @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom

„ Sir „ The alien asked his commander

„ Why are humans considered one of the most dangerous species ?

They do not posses any special powers ,

They are dependent on so many factors to live

They are fleeing , their lifespan isn’t more than 2 centuries ? “

The commander stayed still . After a long pause , in which the alien soldier already admitted defeat he spoke :

“ Because they learn not to fear death.

Not all of them . But some.

They overcome the biggest unknown the universe offers . They simply conquer it . They risk their life’s for war , for emotions , sometimes even for fun. Fully aware that their one chance is so insignificant . Fully aware they might not live to even a century .”

The commander turned towards the soldier .

“ No other species has ever learned that. Even our race , that lives for millions of years , shivers and screams as the dark void that consumes everything comes to get us.

Humans are terrifying because they play with that void on a daily basis. Some of them even long for it.

Can you imagine , soldier ?

A human could live for only 20 solar circles and long for the unknown void . How could it feel so much in such short time span ? How could it look the horror that the unknown brings and reach out for it ?”

The aliens eyes widened, and he stepped back

“ Everybody fears the void . It’s impossible not too” He didn’t fully believe his commander . Yet he couldn’t deny the insanity with which humanity moved forward .

The commander made a sound that was considered a chuckle in their race .

“ Say that to the next human you meet and watch, how they defy that in every way .”

Clone trooper armor design and mechanics for The Clone Wars TV series

 the only criticism of millennials l accept

I’m very curious as to what this means for my life lol Like… do I need to reevaluate a few decisions??? Eh that’s for future me to worry about.

No pressure tags!

@catawampuscorner @amikoroyaiart @tattycoram @dominoxsquad @spicylasat and anyone else!

NEW CHALLENGE

1. FIRST, create a picrew using this maker, and then 2. SECOND take this quiz on how fandom would see you if you were a fictional character.  3 (THIRD) POST YOUR PIC AND YOUR DESCRIPTION IN THE REBLOG!

Bastard (Good)

You’re a bastard. A wet cat, if you will. And we love you for it. You’re a little shit, but in the good way. You are the baddest babygirl. You killed a man, but you looked good doing it. You flirted with the hero and the enemy. All of Tumblr is madly in love with you. Congrats, I guess?

Tagging EVERYONE but especially @magicaltear, @the-beeses-kneeses, @wafflesrisa, @mykingdomforapen, @marbat, @scientistsinistral, @halberdierminister​!

If you ship clonec*st you’re a fetishizing freak and i literally hate you ❤️