Lots Of Thoughts Recently. Everything Feels Plastic.

i just got flashed by anime titties anyways take me as noli

the Pokemon TCG Illustration contest posted their 300 quarter-finalists; I didn't make the cut, but that means I can share my submissions!

weewoo kitties......woah

MS paints I did↓↓

Small sketch with a mouse in paint

Put whatever you want in the left side♥️

Reposting this old TSP environment study of mine! :^) I still really, really love this one. I don’t really render like this anymore—my work is smoother and less blocky—but it’s still super pretty

I love how the further I get into this fandom the more headcanons I give my gabe and v1 designs. At first they were just game accurate but now gabe has designs on his armor and feathered wings. V1 has an eye thing in his visor and honestly an overdone amount of wires everywhere. I love drawing these creatures they're like my muses ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

-

anyways speaking of like. femininity affecting mirages behavior i want 2 talk abt her conformity to the norm

so here i find a really interesting relationship between the way mirage presents herself and the way she navigates the world. like its always been fascinating to me how mirage's identity as a woman, as the prettiest girl in town, is entirely performance. look here for a second:

in these two bits, mirage plays up her femininity to to the player's perception of her. mirage knows that the player doesn't know her well enough to have a strong opinion and quickly jumps to playing into one of two things when you first meet her. if you're generally nice to her, she leans into self-aggrandizement and almost uses her title/reputation as "the prettiest girl" like a tool to feel better about herself. if you're rude, she ramps up her aggression and leans Hard into the insults.

but all of these are just very exaggerated performance of what mirage believes she should be. it's pretty easy to tell that most of mirage's insults aren't really rooted in actual anger towards you - she's just pissed at you but she'll forgive easily. like you can choose to aggrieve her (refusing to help her up) and then immediately step back (admit you're lost too) and her mood fluctuates with yours. also she quite directly says that "Blowing off steam is just how [she] cope[s]"

so we know that mirage's anger is mostly her way of avoiding the despair and internal pain that comes with her nihilism. BUT what about her femininity? how does her presentation affect or indicate her character? ok see here

mirage says she doesn't care about school. she cares about nothing and nothing matters, she's gotten to the point where she doesn't give a damn what others think of her. basically, mirage is at a point in her life where she doesn't care about herself. her aggressive attitude probably pushes people away, her academics certainly aren't a priority. maybe she's the prettiest girl in town, but this only references what she looks like and never what she Feels like. her whole persona is the true mirage.

therefore i interpret mirage being in a schoolgirl outfit, her title as the prettiest girl, her referral to herself as a fair maiden, and her entire presentation of femininity as a representation of her being stuck in her ways. (in the story, at least. of course mirages physical appearance is a riff on dating sim tropes, but i think that the schoolgirl outfit is too interesting to be forgotten when it comes to her personality and character)

it's clear that mirage is unhappy. it's clear that her nihilistic perspective has made her devalue herself. so i think she continues to wear the schoolgirl outfit and go to school and use her title because she's unable to break free of what's been set out for her.

i think personally that mirage's character is all about being stuck. stuck in your view of the world, stuck in your lifestyle, stuck in a town you hate surrounded by people you hate going to a school you hate. mirage is about needing to be pulled out of the haze that is total despair, and you (as the player character) are meant to do exactly that.

so to me, mirage's outfit and reliance on the classic version of femininity just emphasizes how she is stuck. mirage doesn't know how to get out of her societal role as the prettiest girl. she continues to act as this specific version of what a girl is, she continues to dress as a schoolgirl and go to school because she believes she has to. she enjoys none of it, but it's okay if she rationalizes it as "all of life is supposed to be painful anyways". with mirage's acceptance of the world's meaninglessness, she also accepts the idea that she has to be a girl in this specific way. and it sucks for her

More MS Paint art :]

Progress photos below!!!