Thinking About This Today

jokes aside i think it’s amazing and heartwarming to see like 4chan incel bros perform the miracle of crawling out of that hole and becoming real human beings and chronicling their journey to realizing that they can be well adjusted happy normal dudes

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.

Person: of course I support everyone !! :) heteros, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and... (looks at smudged writing on hand) avocados

- via ironshearss on TikTok

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.

And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;

Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers

“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”

“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”

“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”

“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”

First Few Days Of Dating

“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)

“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)

“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”

“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”

Long-Term Relationships

“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”

“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”

“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”

Self-Care And Self Development

“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”

“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”

“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”

“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”

“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”

“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”

Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash. 

‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.

This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.

i think i like the four swords manga so much bc there is some just. very up my alley character and ship archetypes in there, but also the message itself and emotional beats hit surprisingly hard?

(long analysis below)

i like the idea of this character who is so ATTACHED to the idea of being an outsider and harming others, because he believes that he will never belong in the light with them. over the course of the manga, shadow link develops genuine fondness for vio, shows vulnerability through that fondness, and gets betrayed. no matter how real the feelings were between them, vio couldn't bear to hurt his friends or the world. it devastates shadow link; really gets to him. i wonder if he even knew he could have these feelings, falling for the very ruse he attempted to use on vio to get him on his side. while shadow is very ridiculous and theatrical in general, it doesn't seem fake when he expresses that he's glad vio has joined him. it also seems very real when he breaks down after the betrayal.

zelda choosing to be kind to shadow rather than mock him for being foolish is like the final straw that shatters his world view. she asks if he really thinks the light will hurt him, and challenges the notion that he isn't a hero deep down. she's not making excuses for him or telling him who to be; she's naming his deepest insecurities loud and clear and telling him it's okay to be scared. she's not rubbing salt in the wound of vio's rejection, but instead suggesting that shadow could find belonging with others if he took a leap of faith and tried to be their friend without an ulterior motive. shadow gets so giddy about the idea of doing havoc with vio, and it's like buddy, you're experiencing happiness because you like vio, not because you like being evil. i think deep down, we all just want to find Our People. and i can't stand to be cynical enough to suggest that we all don't have at least someone out there for us. it's just harder for some people to belong than others, as is the case with shadow.

shadow link is messed up and destructive to the people around him, unable to even imagine belonging in the light so he settles for chaos in darkness--but he submits, by the end of the comic, to the terrifying truth that he is deserving of love and capable of loving. i say terrifying because in an allegorical sense, it's kind of the equivalent of saying "i'm gay/mentally ill--i can't change that the world is harder for me, and it will be harder to find people who understand me, but i'm doing a disservice to myself and anyone i could hypothetically love by not trying to be my best self." it's a great and fairly uncommon message, especially for teenagers and young people in general.

i mean dude, talk about a bizarre but weirdly resonant reflection of the "gay teenager developing feelings for their best friend" experience. shadow link sets out to manipulate vio at first by appealing to his ego, no personal stakes in the game, but almost IMMEDIATELY falls DOWN BAD for this guy and becomes incredibly emotionally vulnerable around him. shadow link is genuinely LIVING for the time he gets to spend with vio, being as chaotic and theatrical and unrestrained as he pleases. he really believe that vio sees him, and likes him for who he is (which for the record i think is true, but vio also cares about his friends and the fate of the world, things that hold no meaning to shadow).

vio betrays shadow and it genuinely hurts, and that's kind of incredible for a short comic with a lot of goofy moments. and then shadow's resolution is vindicating too, he has agency in the choices he makes, and he does the right thing because he finally believes he doesn't need to remain in the darkness. he disguises himself to help the four because he knows they don't trust his face, really demonstrating the selfless desire to end all the magic shit that put him and the others in archetypical dark/light boxes. shadow link changes a lot in a short period, but the fact that to the end he believes that he still isn't like the others is negated by them saying he's part of "the body" and their friend. his "death" is very simply put in the text--"when a shadow turns to light, it disappears." it's not like a real death. it's a permanent and meaningful statement on how much shadow has changed, and found belonging and acceptance. if shadow's physical form came from feelings of spite and resentment, it makes sense that it no longer needed to exist.

and to TOP IT OFF, he does "end up" with vio and the others, if we're viewing The Full Link as an allegorical friend group or community. he's not quite as homogenous as they are, but rather serves as a shadow of the four. i love the panel where he's giving a thumbs-up from link's shadow so much. that's so simple and obvious, but honestly poetic. because like, in some ways you're never going to be just like everyone else. finding friends who are also gay or mentally ill doesn't make you any less of who you specifically are, and in at least some ways your friends and loved ones are always going to be different from you. i don't like it when the ultimate takeaway from a story is "once you live happily ever after, the darkness will be all gone," because hello??? some things never go away, and the darkness has, for better or for worse, made you who you are! qualities i see in shadow link are sardonic humor, unusual expressiveness, and a deep sense of caring towards His People/Person. those are fueled partially, but not entirely, by his not-great circumstances and deepest fears... but they're also where he shines.

you can be different from other people without resigning yourself to an lonely and unhappy life. coming out doesn't make you any less gay; seeking treatment doesn't magically cure mental illness; but acknowledging yourself for who you are is life-changing liberation, and necessary in the pursuit of happiness. these are huge and scary steps that especially young people are struggle to take, settling for resentment over the possibility of rejection. shadow link takes a chance and finds belonging, but still maintains the parts of himself that give him such a distinct personality. he is accepted for who he is, and at the end of the day who he is is not dark force whose sole purpose is to ruin lives, but just a strange gay-ass little dude who's a little bit extra but good at heart. and vio, as well as the others, appreciate that wholeheartedly. at the end of the day, the Whole Link just isn't the Whole Link without his shadow.

i don't know man, it's always special to me when an angsty character is written not as a joke, but as an opportunity to give people hope. even in the most obscure of places, even in ways that i can analyze endlessly but mean nothing to the average person. maybe none of this was the authors' intention. even if the manga was just, like, a shallow implementation of tropes and characteristics i'm a SUCKER for, i'd still love it to bits.

but i do see something a little deeper here, i can't help it. clearly the story has resonated with a small but dedicated group of fans, many of whom read the manga as kids or teens. i'm... honestly a little jealous of that. it's the kind of story i needed, and the kind of story i wish to tell. this series is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

yesterday for April Fool’s my workplace had a short training article on recognizing computer-generated faces from real ones and one of the tricks mentioned was “count the teeth” and I just wanted to say that it’s both ironic and kind of horrifying how society has unwittingly cycled right back to IF YE MEET A MAN ON THE ROAD, COUNT HIS FINGERS LEST YE DEAL UNKNOWING WITH A FAE 

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

the edit itself

this edit is getting taken down from tiktok every time someone reuploads it, its straight up censorship at this point

Im not even american but im having a great time with this

DONT LET THIS DIE

credit to miraculousgastropod for the original