Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts
• "thought this was a joke. turns out im the joke."
• "you can use a mixer, i just do this to feel something"
• "fold in sauerkraut carefully. or what? im going to ruin your disaster?"
• "can a cake be tried for treason?"
• "either chocolate fixes everything or this is alchemy"
• *disgusted chewing noises* "DEMON BABY!!!"
• "before pumpkin pie became king people ate this....now they're dead."
• "combine all ingredients except for pie shell. were you rEALLY WORRIED I WAS GOING TO PUT A F U L L Y C O N S T R U C T E D PIE SHELL INTO THIS?"
• "im a fool, not an idiot."
• "its like reading directions to purgatory"
• "now we have carbonated mayonnaise lime water"
• "MARSHMALLOWS!! with the m a y o??"
• "chop up your dehydrated cow"
• "it tastes like it's insulting me"
• "and its not just a little bit. no. its a severe unauthorized CUP of mayonnaise."
• "honey you cant dilute a war crime"
• "you know its horrible now but i hope it turns out okay. like children."
• *beans boiling over in a pot* "ahhhhHH BEAN REBELLION!!"
• "eggie!! how many? i don't know. it just says EGGS."
• "did you just kill my blender?" *broken blender noises* "hello?" *insane maniacal laughter* "this is personal now. you swung first!!"
• "why are you good? yOU HAVE A BAG OF BEANS IN YOU!!"
• "one of the many questionable substances people experimented with in the 70s...pistachio pudding."
• "smells like a palm springs retirement home"
• "nixon wished it was this easy."
• "this was the cold war after all. fear of communist bananas was at an all time high."
• "the 70s. sponsored by the color beige."
• "its uncomfortably appetizing"
• "meat and desserts was quite common back then. so was botulism."
• "'honey would you like earl gray or pork?' 'ill take a divorce'"
• "sweet, bitter and meaty. like my ex."
• "don't say it dylan" *2 seconds later* "CIMMANIMM!!"
• "350 for two and a half hours! i suppose any less and it might gain consciousness."
• "its a little late in the century for war crimes."
• "are you just making things up? who are you??"
• *opening a can of spam* "you know ive never been particularly religious. but today might be the day."
• "a cup of evaporated milk?! have you lost the plot?!"
• "i feel like if i do this correctly im going to invoke the spirit of richard nixon"
• "this aint food honey this is a bioweapon"
• "sir your phone number is 4 digits"
• "well i don't have sorghum because i don't have a life expectancy of twelve"
• "thats the power of pine sol baby!"
• "bake to your liking. sweetie none of this is to my liking."
• "this is what id imagine a toilet brush to taste like"
• "this is why we don't perform lobotomies anymore."
• "should be a pale white." *holds butter up to arm for comparison*
• "i bet this recipe is just all the wrong answers on a baking test."
• "smells like dentures."
• "not bad dead people"
• "its incredible. and im mad about it."
• "sift your flour three times. lady your cake has tomato soup in it, this is thE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!!"
• "'911 whats your emergency?' 'yeah that lady carol is at the barbecue again.'"
• "careful not to over mix. sorry im just trying to kill it."
• "now i know this is going to be awful because it calls for soured milk. not buttermilk, not milk and vinegar, no honey sOURED B A D MILK!"
• "disgusting wasnt enough for you?!"
• "call the U.N."
• "bake until done. you're a piece of work."
• *plays accordion on his kitchen floor*
• "tastes like a shower drain or a bunion"
• "this recipe was sent to me by herbert hoover feet pics. theres something for everybody"
• "are you nine inches yet?? said 14 year old me."
• "i suppose its better than eating your offspring"
• "oh betty crocker WHAT ARE YOU UP TO??"
• "you could just use canned pineapple. if you were a communist."
• "can you bake a pie with four ingredients? yes! i could also eat my mattress."
• "add three gils of water. was this written for a fish?"
• "i think this qualifies as a preexisting condition"
• "unconstitutional!"
• "its a breast implant"
• *clunking from the cabinets* "i think ive summoned something"
• "it seems to have collapsed. like the south."
• "the slogan for this cookbook is 'it's digestible'"
• "remember kids the main ingredient in pie pastry is self doubt"
• "fry in two tablespoons of crisco. on this episode of dead white people."
• "i didnt know tuberculosis had a color scheme"
• "ive baked a toilet."
• "how am i supposed to know how big your teacups are, ira?"
• "why do dead people like dates?"
• "easy does it. wouldn't want to ruin a disaster."
• "'ira honey i'm going to war.' 'over what?' 'your cooking'"
• "tastes like a boot. like a size 10 boot."
• "why just live in the great depression when you could also have chronic diarrhea"
• "it wants me to plumpen my prunes in water. well i won't be plumping my prunes in just anything. buy me dinner first."
• "it looks like a failed grave robbery"
• "walnuts aint gonna save this recipe sweetie"
• "you know its not bad it just vaguely tastes like a felony."
• "'where you goin with that tuna dylan?' 'oh you know just making jello"
• "this recipe is making me cry, not the onions"
• "are we sure this recipe wasnt written by a cat?"
• "it already looks like the great depression"
• "bake in a moderate oven. no need to get political"
•"don't tell gordon ramsey"
• "it tastes like a question mark. but a good question mark"
I feel so bad but i’m just sitting here cackling as my bestie is sending me increasingly exasperated texts about her students’ first research paper (1 page long lol). Like. Despite having deadlines for each stage of research and writing, one kid emailed her at 7:45 pm for the final 10 pm deadline with a question about “resurch.” Multiple kids have plagiarized their papers, one of whom didn’t even bother changing the font or the color of the sections he copied and pasted. One girl just cited a fucking fanfiction story as one of her sources.
Middle schoolers are so precious, but god they can be so stupid too. Darling children lol
*teleports behind you*
all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
So I went to a friends party and a couple people started talking about sexualities and I heard a guy say “oh yeah, I’ve never met one but i think ace girls would just be the cutest little things, since they don’t want sex. Like, they’d always be so innocent”
And I was wearing leather and punk and I have behind one ear shaved and a spiked collar and knee hight boots. I walked up behind him, laughing so loud a bunch of people stopped to stare at me and I told him, almost shouting, “WHOA BOY YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG. IS ACE’S DONT HAVE SEXUAL DESIRES SO WE HAVE A BUNCH OF EXTRA BRAIN POWER. WE’RE GONNA RULE THE WORLD BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR IF WE KEEP TO THE SCHEDULE”
And my friends all laughed at me, knowing this guy couldn’t win. He stuttered some, trying the “I didn’t mean it like THAT” story but I just kept yelling “HAIL THE ACE REPUBLIC. DOWN WITH THE STRAIGHTS. BISEXUALS ARE YOU WITH ME? ANARCHY ANARCHY!”
Trigger warning : Conversion therapy,abuse
As if the so called ace “”discourse””( which has till now involved aphobes and exclusionists comparing ace people to nazis,pedophiles,white supremacists,slave owners,homophobes, ,talking over ace WOC by white people, telling ace people AND kids to kill themselves,victim blamig and gaslighting ace victims of rape, putting extremely graphic sexual content into asexual tags and sending sexual content to ace minors and adults who are are suffering from sexual trauma even after they told them to STOP ) could not get any worse, we now have these pathetic excuses of human beings accusing ace people of lying about their trauma and abuse just so that they can justify their harassing of ace people.
Im TIRED of seeing these “”highly intellectual people”” keeps repeating bullshit arguments so im gonna make this post addled with appropriate resources and links to handle these two topics:
How asexuality is pathologized
Can the abuse and trauma ace people go through when people try to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality really be called “conversion therapy”?
This is gonna be long,but i hope you will stick with me though this because im going to try as much as possible to make this as source-fuilled and educational for yall. So here we go:
Short answer,Yes. Many mental health professionals had consideredasexuality an illness throughout history.There are many articles talking about it.Up till 2013, indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people, lack of interest in sex etc were basically classified as Hypoactive sexual desire disorder in the DSM which was revised just to include that all those indicators WOULD be considered as a “symptom” of HSDD unless a person self identified as “asexual” which wasnt much useful since not everyone(especially young people) might know that they are ace and can be pressured by their peers into going through the “treatment” for HSDD .They did the same thing before they removed homosexuality from the DSM.
Throughout history , asexuality has brought out bigots to talk about how “unnatural” it is and how it obviously is a “mental illness/disorder” bc experiencing sexual attraction is always considered an inherent experience to almost all living beings.There are many medical and psychological articles either directly referring to asexuality as a disorder or referring its main indicators like “lack of sexual attraction,sexual feelings towards other people”etc as a mental disorder.
But the most well known instance of pathologization of asexuality is the HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder).It has been in both The International Classification of Diseases and Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders both which are used by mental health professionals and psychologists to diagnose people.
There was a huge pushback against HSDD by asexual activists bc it categorized all indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people and lack of sexual desire etc as a disorder.As a result, asexuality was officially given an exception in the DSM-V by stating that if a person experiencing all the symptoms of HSDD self ID’d as asexual then they wont be diagnosed with it.This seemed a good enough thing to do and acephobes keep bringing it up to show how “different HSDD is from asexuality” and how “The medical world has “”accommodated”” itself for the comfort of ace people” but this act and the whole concept of a “Hypoactive sexual desire disorder” are considered problematic and have been put through questions not only by ace people, but feminists and activists too . Heres why :
1. The person STILL has to identify as asexual to be not diagnosed.Asexuality still isnt as visible and well known of an orientation so if a person doesn’t know that they’re asexual, the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) .Taking into consideration the fact that a lack of sexual attraction is still seen as a sign of “brokenness” etc , the aphobia ace people face from their peers,how sex is seen an inherent part of one’s relationship and the immense number of ace people who experience internalized aphobia, theres a higher chance of ace people being pressurized into lying about not being ace and being made to go through treatment of HSDD .
2. The asexuality exception is not included in the diagnostic criteria, but a different part of the text. The desk reference version, which is the smaller version most psychiatrists will use because the actual DSM is a monster of a book, only contains the diagnostic criteria. So, unless a doctor is very familiar with the update DSM, you could still be diagnosed despite identifying as asexual. (X)
3.The DSM is put out by the APA, an American organization and is not used internationally in ALL countries.The international appx. equivalent to the DSM is the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) where an exception of asexuality is NOT made like they did in DSM-V. So many countries where DSM-V is not followed are free to diagnose ace people with almost no repercussions.
4.There is till NO distinction made between HSDD and asexuality and all indicators of asexuality are still considered “symptoms” of HSDD. the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) Just putting “All these signs are of HSDD unless a person identifies as asexual” is literally the same as saying “Being attracted to the same gender and/or being attracted to more than two genders is a disorder unless a person identifies as gay/bi”.In fact a very very similar thing was done to homosexuality in the DSM before homosexuality was deleted off entirely as a disorder.
5.Im not even gonna get into the fact that alot of people have pointed out how the big push to keep HSDD in the DSM came from the pharmaceutical companies who need this diagnosis to exist so thatthey can market a drug called Flibanserin and both of these thingshave been called out by both ace as well as non ace feminists bc studies showed it improved very little in terms of sexual satisfaction in its participants and has potentially big risks(x) and MANY women disinterested in sex(weather ace or not) were pressurized to undergo treatment of HSDD and use flibanserin bc of the misogynist belief that women need to put out more than care about their safety white taking it bc thats not the point of this post.
But just for yalls consideration : Just bc there is a disorder in the DSM doesnt mean that its legit.Female hysteria,homosexuality were considered disorders.As an amazing post here said : “until psychology stops operating in terms of “inappropriate behavior” and starts looking at patients’ experiences of symptoms as stressful and unpleasant, it will be an enforcement of ableism first and an aid to the mentally ill last.” . Unless someone goes through some trauma which make them LOSE their capability to feel sexual attraction and desire,i’ll consider any “disorder” which automatically assumes lack of sexual attraction and desire “unnatural”, as doubtful .
First off, Read THIS . Now,
Short answer,Yes. Maybe they might not be under the threat of going through the EXACT conversion therapy which involves basically torture and is legal in like 36/41 states IN AMERICA but then again, so arent those gay people who didnt/dont/wont be living/going to those 36/41 states IN AMERICA but have/are/will be tried to be “converted back to” straightness by their peers.Any way in which non straight people are forced/pressurized to be converted into straight by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day it doesnt really matter WHAT word you define it as when those trying to “fix” non straight people’s non straightness view those non straight people as someone who needs “fixing”.
Also, saying that ace people’s experience when their peers were trying to “fix” their asexuality isnt AS bad as what gay people go through when their gayness is tried to be “fixed” is…not a good thing to say.Trauma isnt a competition.Telling a person with a sprained leg that another person has a fractured leg doesnt make the first person’s sprained leg hurt any less
Heres the long answer :
Here is the thing.The most “well known” conversion therapy(and in aphobes’ case,the conversion therapy they keep bringing up to discourage ace people from calling their trauma involving attempts to fix them “conversion therapy” ) is the one which is legal in 36 or 41(The data keeps differing from diff sources) states in AMERICA ONLY and basically involves showing homoerotic images and videos to gay/bi people and inflicting some sort of violence/harm on them when them and/or their mind and/or their body shows any sort of interest on such images till they form an aversion to same gender attraction and other forms of torture.I described it as PG rated as possible but if anyone is interested and is NOT at the risk of being triggered they can read the whole process here(x).
Aphobes keep arguing that since no clinic advertises that they will “convert ace people back to normalcy” ,and even IF some ace person IS forced to undergo treatment of HSDD ,their experience doesnt matches the EXACT amount of abuse and trauma gay people go through during conversion therapy, aces arent “allowed” to call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Now , anyone with common sense and general morality will realize how bullshit this is bc aphobes are just putting their american centric rhetorics over ALL aces in THIS WORLD(bc they are ALWAYS considering the american conversion therapy)but i’ll still just prove how WRONG this argument is :
1.This argument is only AMERICA CENTRIC.Aphobes keep saying that since ace people dont go through the exact conversion therapy which is legal in 36/41 states in america,they cant call it “conversion therapy”.Now america is only one country.There are 193 countries in this world.The “valid”Conversion therapy is only there in america.But HOMOPHOBIA is there in ALL countries of this world.Now, If we consider aphobes’ argument as legit, then it would imply that any gay person who suffered through the trauma and abuse of having their identity turned into “straight” by their peers in any country OTHER THAN AMERICA CANNOT call their experiences “Conversion therapy”.That means all the gay people who faced torture in russia (especially in Chechnya)to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Gay people in Brazil and Jamaica who are tried to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences conversion therapy.I live in south asia,we dont even HAVE any special places dedicated to “convert” gay people.But there are many instances where gay people are hauled to the nearest “religious medical practitioners” who abuse and torture them for WEEKS to “cure” them.I guess those gay people cant even call their experiences “conversion therapy”.THIS IS HOW RIDICULOUS APHOBES SOUND.
2.Not every ace conversion therapy is caused by going through the treatment of HSDD : There are many ace people who have been told that it was their asexuality ITSELF that was a disorder and went through abusive therapies to “cure” it which led to some people ending up self-isolating until they ended up in a psych hospital and some people felt broken and alone after that(x).Many health professionals simply pass off asexuality as some symptomatic of deeper mental health problem and thus not every ace who might have been tried to be “converted back to normalcy” might have been gone through quite a rough treatment too.
3.Telling people that their trauma isnt “”really that bad”” isnt a good thing.Telling them that their trauma dosent really “”qualify”” enough to be considered “”real”” conversion therapy isnt good.Oppression and traumas arent a competition.The abuse and torture gay people go through during conversion therapy isnt gonna make the trauma ace people go through “better” or less severe.Telling women that “at least they arent being human trafficked and beaten by their husbands everyday like in middle east” isnt gonna make them feel better when they are catcalled or sexually harassed at work.If ace people are tried to be “”fixed”” by being forced/pressurized undergo “” treatments”” by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” , it counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day, ace people’s orientation is still being seen as “something to be fixed into straightness”.
If you really want to respect lgbtqa people who have gone through conversion therapy,try to make this world a better place for lgbtqa people so that their identity isnt seen as something to be fixed.Telling group of people you are bigoted against that they cant call their experiences of tried to be fixed “conversion therapy” isnt gonna do SHIT to help the community you think you are trying to protect.Saying that No ace person has EVER went to conversion therapy bc there are “valid proofs” is disgusting.
More medieval dyes for y'all!
At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.