Yes.

Burn

Mc: Here *hands Lucifer a list*

Lucifer: What’s this?

Mc: The things I want for my birthday

Lucifer: *sigh* It’s going to be expensive, isn’t it

Mc: Yep

Lucifer: Why don’t you like anything cheap?

Mc: I like you

*later that night*

Lucifer: wait wHAT-

Oh my gosh.

Yes.

I would do this on purpose.

mc: diavolo, let's have a quickie

diavolo: i'm sorry what?

mc: a quickie

lucifer: EXCUSE ME????

mc: you know that french tart thing beel was eating the other day? it looks delicious

lucifer: IT'S PRONOUNCED AS QUICHE

ikemen vampire text memes

i was considering making this dazai & isaac but then the idea of jean unintentionally traumatising mozart was too funny to pass up 😂

part 2

Lol I can imagine my oc doing this to mess with him.

Mc: Hey Lulu, can I ride you?

Lucifer: *choke* W-What?

Mc: I asked if I could ride you. I’ve ridden Mammon before, it’s fun!

Lucifer: Wh- wAiT whAt?!

Mc: Yeah, he let me climb onto his back and ride him around the house!

Lucifer: … You mean a piggyback ride??

Mc: Oh is that what it’s called??

Lucifer: YES THAT’S WHAT IT’s CALLED-

lol.

Satan: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re going to die...

Asmo: my favourite is “butt dial” vs “booty call”

MC: There’s also “forgive me father for I have sinned”

MC, making eye contact with Lucifer: VS “sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty”.

Mammon: Great news, language is now cancelled!

hey guys!! i thoughts this would be perfect for my first art meme thingie because it’s so cute and simple!! send in your requests!

made by @bluebirdsandcanaries

(also to all the people that sent in fanfic/hc requests, dw, i’m working on all of them and they are super close to being done!)

lawls

ALL TOGETHER NOW

ikemen vampire text memes

i was considering making this dazai & isaac but then the idea of jean unintentionally traumatising mozart was too funny to pass up 😂

part 2

lol

Headcanon: when with his father, Diavolo is a lot more stern. The Demon King, on the other hand... (Part Two 2/2):

Part One

Part Two 1/2

*meanwhile at RAD*

The Demon King: listen to them cheer, son. Seeing so many of my subjects celebrating my return warms my heart.

Diavolo: truly a momentous occasion.

The Demon King: Didi, now I know when you're being sarcastic.

Diavolo: do you now? I'm surprised you've noticed anything I've said since we've arrived at RAD *pouts*

The Demon King: please don't pout. I promise I heard every word. You were speaking about the council and this program you made?

Diavolo: well, that's partially what I said. It's actually more complex than--

Lucifer: --well, well, well.

Diavolo: *sighs*

The Demon King: Lucifer? Is that you?

Lucifer: the very same. Pleasure to see you again, my Lord. And you too-

Diavolo: -don't. You. Dare.

Lucifer: ...

Diavolo: ...

Lucifer: Didi.

Diavolo: *screams internally*

The Demon King: *laughs* I had my concerns at first, but it seems you two have grown quite close in my absence.

Lucifer: you would think so, my Lord, but now I'm not so sure.

The Demon King: oh?

Lucifer: indeed. it seems Lil' Didi failed to inform me of your awakening.

The Demon King: is this true, son? You usually aren't the type to forget such matters.

Diavolo: well, I--

The Demon King: --shhh...son, look! Are...are those humans?

Diavolo: oh, them. Yes, they are a part of the exchange program I've implemented. You know, the one I've spoken of...for 30 minutes? Now if we can get back to--wait, father! Dammit *rushes off*

Lucifer: oh, I am going to bathe in this.

*MC walking with Solomon*

MC: so then I accidently added way too much 100% pure virgin's blood and needless to say the entire class ended up...*is suddenly prevented from moving*

MC: ...um, Solomon?

Solomon: yes, MC?

MC: there's a demon petting me.

Solomon: that he is.

The Demon King: *strokes MC's head*

MC: ...can I help you?

The Demon King: such an adorable little human. Tell me, what is your name.

MC: ...MC.

The Demon King: MC...would you like to be my pet?

Solomon: oh?

MC: come again now?

Lucifer: excuse me?

Diavolo: *groans* not this again.

Solomon: again? You mean he's done this before?

Diavolo: my father has a habit of bringing home humans. He thinks they're...cute. Kind of like a rabbit or a kitten.

Solomon: *frowns* so why isn't he petting me?

Diavolo: how should I put this delicately? You're more like a naked mole rat. You know it's an animal, yet something about it...just isn't right.

Solomon: well...now you've gone and hurt my feelings.

MC: wait, father? Oooh, so you're "the Demon King" everyone is talking about.

The Demon King: your attitude is incredibly lax...I love it! Then it's settled.

MC: but I didn't agree to--hey, wait!

The Demon King: *picks MC up and throws them over their shoulder*

The Demon King: of course, I'll need to tell Barbatos to human proof the castle, as well as buy you a collar. Oh, and a cute, human-sized bed, preferably in my quarters. That way I can see their precious face every time I open and close my eyes *sighs lovingly*

Solomon: no offense my Lord, but doesn't this go against the whole "uniting the three realms" thing if you're abducting humans?

The Demon King: why, you make me sound like an absolute monster! My pets are free to come and go as they please. It's just that most choose to stay and well, let's be honest here *makes a grand gesture towards his castle* why would they ever want to leave?

Solomon: that doesn't sound dubious at all.

Lucifer: be that as it may my Lord, MC is a guest here. They've been residing at the House of Lamentation and--

The Demon King: --you allowed a normal human to sleep in the same house where not only several of their kind were murdered, is supposedly haunted, but also share space with the literal envoys of sin? One of which is Asmodeus?

MC: well, when he puts it that way...

Lucifer: I can assure you that MC is entirely safe.

The Demon King: nonsense! This one can barely use magic. Hell, I doubt they can even throw a punch.

MC: hey!

The Demon King: now if they lived in my castle, there would be no need to worry about sudden death or sickness. They would spend the rest of their breif yet precious existence in absolute excess and splendor.

MC: "excess and splendor," you say?

Diavolo: please don't encourage him.

Lucifer: my Lord, while I understand your grievances, MC is my--our responsibility. You have my word that no harm will come to them.

Diavolo: father, please let MC go. The entire courtyard is staring at us. 

The Demon King: *sighs and places MC down*

The Demon King: you don't strike me as the type to want to own a pet human, Lucifer.

Lucifer: *smiles* they can be quite the handful, but entertaining none the less. Admittedly, they've grown on me.

MC: just so you know, I'm going to be writing some incredibly harsh words in the "Lucifer, you S*CK!" chatroom tonight.

Lucifer: see? Already they're begging for my attention.

The Demon King: *frowns* well, I suppose I can take the sorcerer, though he isn't nearly as cute. He...he is human, correct?

Solomon: hey!

Lucifer: of course. And unlike MC, Solomon is a nonfactor. You can do to him as you please. 

Solomon: you know, I'm starting to have the slight suspicion that you all don't care for me much.

The Demon King: speaking of the House of Lamentation, I would love to visit the others.

Lucifer: why not make it a party?

Diavolo: *facepalms*

The Demon King: that is a wonderful idea!

Lucifer: then I'll set it for tomorrow afternoon. In the meantime, MC will inform both the House as well as Purgetory Hall.

MC: why do I have to--

Lucifer: *whispers* --play along or else you might just end up with a new owner.

MC: *shivers* fine, I'll text everyone the details.

The Demon King: splendid! Then I must go and prepare. And MC *blushes* please let me know if you change your mind. I'm sure I could persuade Lucifer somehow and if not, well, I am a king, after all.

MC: *laughs nervously* I'll...keep that in mind.

Diavolo: fa--, oh forget it.

Lucifer: aw, what's wrong, Didi?

Diavolo: *points his finger accusingly at Lucifer* YOU.

Lucifer: *lolls his head* who me?

Diavolo: don't act coy with me. You're enjoying every little bit of this.

Lucifer: on the contrary, I'm positively over the moon.

Diavolo: is that where you happen to keep your ego?

Lucifer: don't be ridiculous, Didi. My ego is at least the next galaxy over.

MC: um, Lord Diavolo? Your father just walked off with Solomon.

Diavolo: *sighs* I suppose I should go help, as well  as prepare for this *winces* party. Once again Lucifer, you've truly been a help.

Lucifer: my pleasure, Diavolo. After all, I'm here to serve.

MC: *watches Diavolo walk away* are you sure teasing him like that is ok? He looks pretty stressed.

Lucifer: *rolls eyes* please. I'm only letting off a bit of steam, albeit a few centuries worth. It's quite cathartic.

MC: and are you sure this party is a good idea?

Lucifer: of course not. In fact, I predict it to be an absolute disaster.

MC: so then why throw one?

Lucifer: *smiles deviously* because it'll amuse me.

MC: *shivers* your sadism knows no bounds.

That

That if I wasn't perfect,my parents wouldn't want me around.