Everything Feels One Room Over

You hate yourself so loudly. You hate yourself at the top of your lungs. Your loathing for yourself permeates your speech. “Sorry I’m just rambling.” “Don’t worry about it.” “Just ignore me.” “Sorry if I’m annoying you.” “Sorry I don’t make sense.” “Sorry about that.” Sorry, sorry, sorry. You act as if you have to beat everyone else to the punch. As if the punching bag is you. If you hate yourself first, if you hate yourself loudest, then nobody will hurt you. You clapped your hands over your ears and shut your eyes and balled yourself up so that you’d never have to experience people’s loathing for you. And it meant you never heard their love. You drowned it out. You screamed your hatred over it. And you never got to hear it. 

things that are scary that you just have to get over at some point

being wrong (as distinct from)

other people having different opinions from you (as distinct from)

minor disagreements

the eternal uncertainty caused by living in a universe where luck exists (e.g. Just Anything could happen to you for no reason)

.

i've had this list open for so long but i can't think of anything else

i sorta feel like most other fears are kind of fine to have

oh like spiders i guess

GIRL NO YOU’RE MOURNING SOMETHING THAT HASN’T EVEN HAPPENED YET AGAIN!!!!!!

Kim Addonizio, “The Singing”, Tell Me

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Tracey Emin I never Asked to Fall in Love - You made me Feel like This, 2018

hey sorry it's just that i don't think i'm very good at being a person. thanks for letting me try with you, anyway.

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

are you free tonight

i woul do anything to be free