It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it's from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.
i ask you how you are and i'm saying "i love you" i send you a 15 minute voice note and i'm saying "i love you" i remember your coffee order and i'm saying "i love you" i watch the movie you recommended and i'm saying "i love you" i send you a movie you'd love and i'm saying "i love you" i buy the extra large bag to share and i'm saying "i love you" and i'm saying "i love you" and i'm saying "i love you" and i'm saying "i love you"
“I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands.”
— #Madeline Miller (Circe)
letters to milena by franz kafka // camouflage by ron hicks // the golden notebook by doris lessing // ? // a letter to galatea kazantzaki by nikos kazantzakis
words by me
╰┈➤ pairing: Victor Von Doom & Reed Richards
Alice Notley / Oscar wilde / Sarah Kane / Anne Sexton
there is something wrong with me but together there could be something wrong with us <3
“Now my wishes are down to two: / Staying alive. And wanting to.”
— Traci Brimhall, from “Dear Thanatos,” Come the Slumberless To the Land of Nod (via lifeinpoetry)
Be Near Me, Faiz Ahmed Faiz