Jk Rowling will die in my lifetime and that’s so beautiful to think about
OH MY GOD
house’s team looks like this
if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.
now playing: good luck, babe! by chappell roan
Ok hilson nerds drop your favourite fic recs!!!!
Especially if they’re happy ending/fix it/established relationship
House MD was crazy for having their mc be an autistic bisexual depressed disabled drug addict who canonically self harms and experienced abuse AND was in a doomed codependent toxic yaoiship with his repressed homosexual bestie
me when i decide to include in a fic that house has nightmares about wilson spitting a suicide pill into his mouth.
so ive been watching a lot of dr house recently
notice how it's "with mama" and not "with papa". even in a fake cutesy tumblr scenario, she took the fucking kids. <- what I imagine i'd be posting as a divorced dad on tumblr
He cheats on you with House <3
They're so foul for this