This Is So Cute

So some of my friends shipped me and my friend (who is a guy) and they were 'aweing' and shit. They were saying stuff like, "THE SHIP MUST SAIL!" And "HAS THE SHIP SAILED YET?!" Well my best friend heard and was like, "I DO NOT APPROVE! I WILL BE THE ICEBERG TO YOUR TITANIC!!" Needless to say, this was about the best day of my life!

Love Festival

Kirishima Eijiro x F!OC

Summary: Being Fatgums adopted daughter can be challenging, especially when it comes to meeting his new interns while also having to keep watch over Eri.

Quirk: Ram

Quirk fact: Bring able to run, jump and react like a Ram, the user is able to also headbutt and cause great damage with their strength and horns. They also can digest anything like a Ram. Also has a fluffy wool tail, and a wool band around both wrists. Her legs from the waist down are ram legs, so she looks more like a Mythical Fawn.

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, enjoy!!

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"Oh hey Eraser Head! What's going on?" Fatgum answered his phone while sitting at his desk in his office at Fatgum Agency. "Fatgum, Midoriya and Togata have requested for Eri to be present at our School Festival, seeing as how Eri has bonded with Aki, do you think she'd be willing to join her on that day?" Aizawa questioned, standing outside Eri's hospital room where the young girl was currently having her lunch.

Fatgum pondered for a moment,"Well I don't see why she couldn't. I guess she could use a break too, between her assignments and being with Eri at the hospital, I'm sure she'd love it!" "Alright, I'll be sure to let the class know so they don't freak out. Speaking of, only Amajiki and the others in the Big Three have met Aki right? She was away on another assignment when Work Studies happened," Aizawa knew his students would probably freak out when seeing Eri's caregiver and friend, who was the same age as them but on a whole other level.

"You're correct, so Kirishima hasn't met her. It'll be fine though, I have full confidence that everything will be fine," Fatgum smiled into the phone, nonchalant about anything going on. "Alright, we'll discuss details later then," with that the two hung up.

~~~

"Oh hey Togata!" Midoriya called out to Togata, waving him over from where Togata was hiding behind the bush. Togata narrowed his eyes, realizing he'd been found out before he can surprise them.

The dance team looked on in surprise as Togata stuck his bottom out from the bush, Eri standing beside him looking surprised as well, "Hey guys! I brought a PEACH for ya,"

"Eri!" Midoroya called out as he, Uraraka and Tsuyu ran up to greet them. "That dress looks so cute," Tsuyu commented, "You are precious!" Uraraka gushing in fondness. The girls couldn't help the big smiles on their faces.

"Midoriya, I finally got permission from the Principle," Togata climbed out of the bush and began brushing off his pants as Aizawa spoke, "in order for her to not get stressed, we're allowing her to roam around today before the Festival, also there's someone you all need to meet as well,"

The other dance team members came forward to introduce themselves to the young girl. "Well hello there, you must be Eri, I'm Iida, nice to meet you," "Wassup I'm Mineta, man you're gonna be a looker when you're older huh~" Mineta smirked, but the young girl hid behind Togata, "I want Aki,"

The name had taken them by surprise, "Aki? Whose that?" Midoriya questioned, confusion written on the Work Study kids faces. "Oh right, you haven't met her yet. Aki is Eri's caregiver, well when she's not on Assignments for Fatgum," Togata explained, "Eri can be a little shy around new people, but her and Aki get along very well,"

"Its perfectly alright to be shy," Iida commented, softening his voice to not scare Eri further. "Let's start the tour! Aki should be here soon, so I wanna show her as much of the school as I can so she can see what we do here, you wanna come along too Midoriya?" Togata extended the offer, knowing that since Aki isn't here, Eri might be calm with Midoriya around too. "You bet!" "Hey Dance Team! New idea!" Kirishima's voice broke out, before realizing Eri was there.

"Oh hey Eri! Wait, we've never been officially introduced," Kirishima crouched down to meet Eri's gaze when another voice broke out.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, someone decided to rob a gas station on the way over and I couldn't just leave the situation," it was a soft, silky voice that came from behind Aizawa. The students all turned their attention to see a young dark skinned girl about their age.

Her hair was a dark auburn red that came to below her shoulder blades, soft waves accentuating her purple eyes that seemed to have a swirl of white in them but were framed with thin gold wired glasses. Freckles dawned her nose and cheeks that were flushed with red, giving her an innocent look. What caught their attention the most was the Ram horns that protuded from her head, her legs being Ran legs with red fur like her hair but black hooves. Her outfit consisted of a off the shoulder wool dress she seemed to be wearing that came to stop at her upper thighs, a bell was wrapped around her neck and jingled everytime she moved, of course it also brought attention to her chest that was framed by the wool.

Some of the boys blushed, and Kirishima found himself entranced by her. "Aki!" Eri exclaimed, walking over to the girl who crouched down to her height, "I missed you!" Eri reached her arms out to her, Aki smiling and welcoming the girl into her arms, "I missed you too," giving Eri a nuzzle as the girls closed their eyes and embraced eachother.

"So you're Aki! It's a pleasure to meet you!" Midoroiya smiled, the class seemingly broken from the momentary shock. "The pleasure is all mine! Thank you for what you did for Eri, I would've been on the assignment too if Papa hadn't sent me on a different one," Aki greeted, before realizing she needed to properly introduce herself.

Standing up, Eri still in her arms as she bowed, "I'm sorry! My name is Toyomitsu Aki, it's so nice to meet you all, please call me Aki!" Straightening up, Eri wrapped her arms around Aki as rested her head on Aki's shoulder.

"Wait, Toyomitsu? Why does that sound familiar?" Kirishima wondered aloud, rubbing his head as if it would bring the answer to him. "WAIT I KNOW YOU!" Midoriya yelled out, eyes growing wide as he pointed toward Aki,"YOU'RE RAM-RAM, THE YOUNGEST PERSON TO EVER BECOME A HERO, YOU'RE ALSO FATGUMS DAUGHTER!" Now the students outside all yelled in shock, "WHAT!?"

"Oops, guess the cats out of the bag," Togata laughed, Aizawa just shaking his head in embarrassment from his students. "WAIT, you're really Fatgum's daughter!? Why didn't I know this!" Kirishima cried out, his head a mess knowing the girl he found cute was actually his Mentors daughter.

"Yeah, Papa adopted me when I was a baby, I hope this doesn't affect us becoming friends?" Aki smiled nervously, her small tail twitching in anticipation. "No way! That's so cool, let's take a break everyone, it's tea time!" Mina chimed in, hoping to calm everyone down from the excitement, "There will be more time to explain later, get on with the tour, we don't have time to waste," Aizawa called out, Togata and Aki nodding as Midoriya went to go change his clothes really quick.

"So if you're Fatgums daughter, you must know Amajiki right?" Kirishima questioned, trying to push through his nerves in front of the pretty Ram girl. He was determined to get to know his Mentors daughter. "Definitely! Tama-Kun is so nice, I love going on assignments with him, especially when he shares his food with me like Papa," Aki gushed, her red cheeks getting even darker with excitement, a closed eye smile making Kirishimas cheeks match hers in color. "My name is Kirishima Eijiro, my hero name is Red Riot, I'm actually a new intern at your father's agency for my Work Study," He introduced himself, holding out a hand in greeting.

Aki's jaw dropped and sparkles seemed to erupt from no where, "NO WAY! Papa has told me all about Red Riot, your name is a play off of Crimson Riot right!? I love that, he's such an amazing Hero!" Aki rambled, Kirishima feeling himself fall even harder.

Togata chuckled and took Eri from Aki, who was so engrossed in her conversation she didn't even seem to notice the weight lifted from her arms. Eri looked between the two red heads and noticed that Aki looks so happy, like when she finds a good object to chew on, then again anything was good to chew on for Aki.

"Totally manly right! Hey, are you gonna be here for our School Festival? It'll be totally killer, we're putting on a performance!" "Of course, I'll be chapperoning Eri that day so we won't miss it," The two had seemed to have fallen into their own little world, the other students just watching in amazement.

"I don't think I've seen Kirishima this excited before," Tsuyu commented, Uraraka and Mina nodding in agreement. "Oh jeez, he's got it bad," Ojiro laughed, Mineta seething from the mouth that he didn't get to touch the pretty animal girl. "He's got what?" Shoji asked, looking to Ojiro for answers, although Hagakure answered instead, "Kirishima is totally falling for Aki! What better romance is that!? An employee and the Bosses daughter? It's so forbidden but romantic!" Hagakure couldn't contain her excitement and started to swoon, Mina grabbing her shoulders as she tries to balance her friend.

"Hey Aki! Let's get this show on the road!" Togata called out, waving his arm to grab her attention. "Oh, coming MiMi-Kun! I guess I should go, we'll talk again soon, right?" Aki questioned, taking Kirishimas hands into her own, a bright smile on her face as her eyes seemed to sparkle. Kirishima felt his face warm up, but nodded, a nervous smile on his face from how close she was,"Definitely, we can meet up sometime at the agency maybe,"

"See ya later," she giggled, walking over and taking Eri's hand into her own. Kirishima could only watch with his heart beating out of his chest as the beautiful girl left, when he felt a hand on his back slap him forward, "OH MY GOSH KIRISHIMA, YOU'RE SO LUCKY, YOU SLY THING YOU!" Mina exclaimed, repeatedly hitting him in her excitement. "Way to go dude," Ojiro laughed, the rest of the students all smiling and calling out their support for him. "Come guys this is so not manly," he whined, embarrassed having realized they watched him and Aki. Yet he smiled and couldn't help but think 'Maybe this Festival will be good,'

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Walking around the school seemed to excite Eri and Aki, both wondering how all the different classes worked and what each class would put on for the School Festival.

Meeting up with Amajiki and Hado excited Aki to the point of her having steam come out of her nose in puffs, "Tama-Kun!Nene-chan!" She called out to them, Nejire flying over in greeting as they began to discuss the beauty pagent in detail and how Nejire was going to win this year.

"Hey! Maybe you should join Aki! I bet you'd be a shoe in for runner up!!" Hado squealed, wanting the girl who was like a little sister to join in on the fun. "Oh I'd live to Nene-chan but I'm not a student here," Aki smiled, though Midoriya thought her smile seemed a little forced, "plus I wouldn't wanna ruin your chances by competing, I'll be sure to cheer you on though!" Aki grinned, giving Hado two thumbs up who returned it. Eri looking between the two and then to her hands, mimicking them but smaller, though everyone swooned.

After visiting the Support Class last, they went to Lunch Rush's in the cafeteria to give Eri somthing to eat to finalize the tour. "Well that's all of U.A!" "What did you think of our School Eri?" Midoriya questioned, Eri though looked unsure, "I..I don't know," both boys looked at eachother nervously, but Aki smiled at her which gave Eri enough courage to continue, "But I can see how hard everyone is working, so I do wanna see how it turns out," Aki gave her a grin, proud of Eri for trying to speak out more and explain her thoughts and feelings.

At the end of the day, they returned Midoriya to Heights Alliance and said goodbye. "We'll be back on the day of the festival," Togata explained, pumping his arm in excitement, "So make sure it's killer,"

As they went to leave, Aki spoke up, "I will catch up with you in a moment MiMi-Kun, I wanna ask Midoriya somthing really quick," Togata nodded and escorted Eri out.

"What is it Aki? Is everything okay?" Aki stared at him for a second, before her eyes sharpened and it made him jump back, "What is your deal with Eri? What are you hoping to gain?" "W-what?" Midoriya was taken back, 'How can such a sweet and cute girl get terrifying to quickly!?'

"You seem very focused on making her happy. Why? I don't want anyone near Eri who was bad intentions," "It's not like that! When we found Eri that first time, I was so upset we couldn't do anything. I beat myself up everytime I think about it, I wanna be a hero that saves people with a smile. But Eri hasn't smiled once, so I wanna help her smile. I wanna help her become a child again, especially after what she went through," Midoriya was firm with his answer, now staring Aki back in the eyes, hoping to show her the true meaning of his intentions.

Aki suddenly smiled, sparkles surrounding her like with Kirishima earlier, "Okie dokie. I hope your goals come true," Midoriya sweat dropped, 'How bipolar can she be?' Aki then bit her lip nervously, arms behind her back as she shuffled, "I do have one more question, more of a favor though,"

This caught him by surprise, "Sure, what is it?" Holding out a folded up paper, she asked, "Can you give this to Kiri-kun for me?" "Huh!? KIRISHIMA!?" "Y-Yes, I know this sounds silly but.. he's very cute," Aki admitted, her face turning red and her tail stub swished back and forth.

"U-uh sure, I can give this to him. Wouldn't you wanna give it to him in person though," "I-I don't know..I don't wanna over step," "Nonsense, come on,"

With that Midoriya led her inside, the rest of the class unwinding in the main sitting area, though they looked in surprise with the girl in tow with Midoriya. "Hello again!" Mina greeted, "Guys this is Toyomitsu Aki, she's Eri's caregiver," Midoriya introduced the girl, her bowing to the class with a smile.

"Hello everyone, so pleased to meet you," her smile made them all flushed, 'SO CUTE'. "So what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Jirou questioned, "I-I was hoping to speak to u-uh..Kirishima-kun," Aki was embarrassed, now noticing how many people were staring at her intensely.

"Did someone call me? Oh hey Aki! What's up?" Kirishima questioned, having just walked out of the kitchen, but smiled big when he saw the beautiful girl from this morning.

"H-hi! I just wanted to u-uh, give this to you," stumbling over her words, she tried to act relaxed but was dying on the inside and outside. "O-Oh, thanks," Kirishima blushed, taking the folded up note from her out stretched hand, when their fingers touched however they both jumped apart and their faces burned red.

Of course, Mineta took this time to try and sneak up behind the girl. Reaching his hand out to flip the bottom of her dress, mumbling on how it was so short, it'd be a crime to not go through with it. Thankfully, Kirishima took notice and pulled her to him, hardening his hand as he punched him away, "KNOCK IT OFF," He growled, holding Aki close in his left arm.

Aki shivered, noticing how his muscles squeezed her like she'd dissappear if he let her go. Tapping his chest, he realized he was holding her and jumped back, "I'm so sorry! He can just never keep his hands to himself and it'd be so unmanly if me to not step in," Kirishima freaked out, waving his hands and trying to plead his case. He froze though when Aki walked up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "It's alright, thanks for being my Hero," she winked, suddenly finding some courage in his embarrassment. "I'll see you at the festival like we talked about earlier, right?" Aki asked, let her hands rest on his chest, "U-Uh YYEaH Suree," his voice cracked, his whole mind running in auto pilot. "Awesome, I'll see you then," she turned on her hoof and began walking toward the exit, she looked over to the class in a whole and waved goodnight before exiting Heights Alliance.

A loud thud made everyone turn toward where Kirishima was, noticing he'd fallen over, his eyes swirling and a giant grin in his red face. "Aki's so cute," he chucked, Kaminari and Sero whooping for him while Iida lectured about proper PDA in the presence of others. All Kirishina knew is that the festival couldn't come soon enough.

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On the day of the festival, Aki and Eri sat in the back if a taxi has Togata sat up front and was going over the schedule for the day. "We'll catch 1-As performance, then race over to 1-B for their play, then it'll be lunch and the pagent, does that sound alright?" He turned to face the horned girls in the back, Eri's outfit was a cute red and white dress while Aki wore her usual wool dress only this time it was red to compliment her hair.

"Sounds great, we can probably catch 1-A setting up before they perform," "oo~you just wanna catch Kirishima before he performs, maybe to wish him luck~" Togata teased, Aki gritting her teeth and raising her hood, kicking him in the back if the head leaving a hoof print, "Hehe, nevermind," Togata smiled, Eri looking up at Aki, "Do you like Kirishima?" "U-uh well, I admire him so to say," Aki tripped over her words as Togata laughed at her misfortune.

Once they'd arrived at the school, Aki mentioned she was going to see Nejire before 1-A to wish her luck before she got ready.

"Nene-chan, are you in here?" Aki knocked, hearing a lot of voices from inside the dressing room. Opening the door, Aki was met with Hado, Yuyu, and a few other students. "Oh sorry, I just wanted to come wish you luck," Aki smiled, holding her hands together in front of her.

"Ram-Ram!?" The other students exclaimed, shocked that a young hero would show up here. "Oh hello! Wonderful to meet you," she bowed, greeting them as they momentarily freaked out before bowing back.

"Hey hey! What're you doing here Aki? Where's Eri? Or Togata?" "They went to go see 1-A real quick, I was about to go see them, just wanted to see you first," Aki sheepishly explained, Testutestu suddenly appeared in front of the girls face making her lean back in surprise.

"Wait a second are you that girl Kirishima is always talking about!? The pretty red haired Ram girl that is Fatgums daughter!" Aki flushed hearing the red haired boys name.

"Well it's nice to know he thinks of me," she said happily, before looking at the clock, "I've gotta go, I hope everything goes good for you girls!" She cheered, waving as she walked out leaving the others stunned, "Why does Kirishima always get the good opportunities," Testutestu cried out, falling to his knees depressed that a beautiful girl like that was already taken by Kirishima.

~~~

"Hey! I'm not too late am I?" Aki called out, running up to the 1-A group. "Oh Ram-Ram! Welcome," Yamomo greeted, fiddling with her keyboard to make sure it was on the right setting. "We've still got about twenty minutes until we go on, Midoriya should've been back by now, he went to go get rope earlier," Kirishima mentioned, cheeks going a light pink at facing Aki again.

"Well I'm sure it'll be amazing, are you doing special affects?" Aki questioned, leaning close into Kirishimas personal space, "Y-Yeah, I hope you'll enjoy them," he smiled, running a hand through his hair. "HEY SHITTY HAIR, LETS GO WE AINT GOT ALL DAY!" Bakugou yelled out then realized Kirishima was talking to a girl.

"Hey Sheep Ass! What're you doing in here?! Don't be trying to pull anything dammit," Bakugou seethed, his teeth gritting together in annoyance of a new person.

"I was just wishing you guys luck," Aki began to ring her hands nervously, "Well we don't need luck! We'll kick ass either way dammit!" Bakugou exclaimed, getting in her face. Aki decided he needed to calm down and quit yelling.

Ramming her head into his stomach, Bakugou lurched forward coughing as he fell to the ground holding his stomach,"Damn Ram Bitch. What the fuck was that for," he gasped, rolling around on the floor in pain. "I didn't appreciate you being in my face," she calmly spoke, turning to Kirishima again who looked at her in awe at her strength.

"I'll leave you to it, you'll do amazing," her lips pressed to his cheek again, although this time they grazed the corner of his mouth slightly. Giggling she turned and left the room.

Silence ticked by for a second before Kirishima belted out, "GUYS THIS HAS TO BE AMAZING, TOP NOTCH MANLY," He hardened up without knowing, the others in the class around him sweat dropping at the sudden mood change.

~~~

As the curtains opened and a deafening explosion happened, Aki smiled as Jirou started her song, the dancers and musicians knocking it out of the ball park all at once.

The beat had Aki dancing in place, Togata laughing at her as Eri watched in surprise of Midoroiya dancing, well at least until he went off stage for some reason. "He left," "He'll be back, let's keep watching," Togata assured her, the music still blaring into their ears.

The song kept continuing to grow in progress when all of a sudden a lot of special effects went off, Uraraka swinging out to the crowd and lifting some audience members off the ground, one of them being Aki who laughed and brought Eri with her who couldn't hold it in any longer, throwing her arms out and laughing, a giant smile on her face. Aki and Togata had tears in their eyes as they smiled, knowing this young girl had finally broken free from her shackles of a pervious life. Aki hugged her tight before spinning in a circle with her, both girls laughing together in glee as Togata cheered them on. The song came to an end as the audience screamed and cheered, Aki and Eri now holding onto Togata as the three of them embraced in a hug. Eri had finally smiled and it made the two older ones warm with happiness.

As the gym filled out, the three met up with Midoriya on his way back in, Togata congratulating him on a job well done. "It was so crazy! First there was a loud sound and it was scary, but then everyone started jumping, even Aki was dancing and then Deku you went away for a little bit. But then there was a spinning guy and it started to get cold and I saw a lot of birds and people went "Wow" and you know what I said? Wow too!" Eri rambled on, her arms being thrown everywhere in excitement as Togata and Aki copied her from her side. "It was so much fun! Especially when Aki flew in the air with me and we danced," Eri stopped when she noticed Midioriya getting tears in his eyes, "I'm so glad you had fun Eri," this caused Eri to smile wide at him, Aki not able to hold it in anymore and swooped her up, spinning in circles as both girls laughed together. The boys looking on with their own smiles.

Heading outside, they met up with some of the boys that were melting the ice. "Ah dang this ice is too big, hey Bakugou can you-" "Kick Force!" A voice cut off Kaminari as a blur of red jumped in the air and came down on the giant block of ice, breaking it into little pieces. "Whoa!" Peoole passing by stopped and stared, Aki standing up and fixing her glasses. "Is this okay?" She asked, tilting her head with a smile.

"Hey its Ram-Ram!" "I didn't know she'd be here!" "She's so cute!" Voices came from behind her, causing her to turn over her shoulder and smile at the students and give a wave causing them all to flush red from the adorableness.

"Hey Aki! How'd you like the show?" Kirishima asked, hands on his hips, but he quickly put them put to catch Aki who jumped at him, landing in his arms as hers went around his neck that was turning red, "It was so amazing! The lighting, the music, the dancing, it was so beautiful! The affects were so awesome too! It was a rush of adrenaline for sure," Aki couldn't help but gush over the performance, Kirishima grinning and twirled her around, cheeks still flushed, "THAT'S GREAT! I'm so glad you guys enjoyed it! I did happen to catch you dancing a few moves too," he winked, catching her off guard but she laughed and nodded, finally getting set back in the ground.

Togata watched for a second before smirking, "You know we still have about two hours or so before the pagent, why don't you show Aki the rest of the festival Kirishima!" Aki and Kirishima turned bright red, but both agreed to it as the rest of the class came out to begin their own sight seeing if the festival too. Kirishima grabbed Aki's hand and began to drag her out of sight, she looked back over her shoulder to see Togata and Eri waving to her, both smiling as she disappeared from sight.

Both red heads walked around, looking at all the different food vendors and games, before coming upon the High Striker game, where you bring the hammer down to ring the bell and win a prize. They went to walk past it before Aki noticed fluffy Ram and Shark plushies. Kirishima looked to her and then the prizes before waking up to the student running it. "Hey dude! What do you have to do to win those two?" Pointing to the plushies Aki was eyeing. "You've gotta ring the high bell, you only get one try though," the student informed, gesturing to the tallest one they had which looked to be about fifty feet high. Kirishima grabbed the hammer, Aki stopping him momentarily, "You don't have to do that Kiri-Kun" she informed, but he shook his head, "It wouldn't be very manly of me to not win a pretty girl the plushies she wants, so just sit back and watch," he grinned at her before turning his attention to the game in front of him. He hardened his body as he swung the hammer up and brought it down full force, the little rod shooting straight up and knocking into the bell, denting it but ringing it nonetheless.

Aki cheered in amazement as Kirishima was handed the two plushies, the student behind the counter complaining to himself about needing a new bell now. Aki was handed both but then looked to Kirishima and handed him back the Ram one. "Seems only fair you get one too, right," she giggled, Kirishima smiling and nodding, taking Aki's free hand into his again as they continued down the path. Both could agree that this was probably the best day ever.

~~~

Standing at the gate to see the three off, Aki and Kirishima stared at each other for a minute before smiling softly to one another. "I'm glad you could join us, maybe you can come back another time?" Kirishima asked, hopeful he'd get to see her again, preferably outside of Work Studies and School. "Mmm, I don't know. I have my assignments and taking care of Eri too," Aki admitted, her purple eyes staring into his Ruby red eyes that were full of hope.

"Actually, I guess it's alright to tell you that you'll be seeing everyone alot more. We're planning on moving Eri into the dorms here, to keep a better eye on her and her progress with her quirk. Of course, her care taker is gonna have to be with her," Aizawas voice cut in, making both teens turn toward him in shock before turning back to each other.

Kirishima whooped and picked up Aki, spinning her around as they both laughed, setting her back in the ground, he blurted out, "Would you like to go out sometime?!" He realized what he said and burned red, but kept his eyes trained on her shocked face but she soon smiled shyly and nodded, "I'd love to, maybe you can show me a nice Cafe around here?" She asked, Kirishima nodding as he took out his phone to get her number so they can plan it for the day she comes back.

Aizawa and Togata watched the two as Midoriya and Eri said goodbye a little ways to the side, "I'm gonna regret this aren't I," Aizawa sighed, feeling the need to go to bed after such a long day, "Awe come on Eraser Head, it's cute," Aizawa merely shook his head, turning to walk off, "Some School Festival this turned out be," Togata only laughed and called out, "I'm pretty sure you mean Love Festival!"

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Hiiiii. Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts! I know some people don't like OCs that much but I thought I'd give it a try.

😛😘❤

Kicking my feet and twiddling my thumbs ❤️

Infatuation ✽ Neteyam Sully

a/n: based off this request. honestly i’m not usually a fan of human reader x na’vi but this idea was very cute to me so I folded lolll

wc: 1.8k

pairing: neteyam x fem! human reader

contains: just fluff <3

After years and years of what seemed like pointless trials and research on the chemical components that would successfully craft a serum allowing humans to breathe pandora’s air, you were lucky enough to be the first to try it out. You begged to be. The world outside the lab called to you, as did the voice in your head screaming to explore, the volume of it growing unbearably loud. The second you received the okay after taking the dose, you pushed out of the doors and into the world around you—breathing in the once toxic air. It was fresh, so much clearer than earth’s air, with a mossy scent of wood and petrichor streamlining through the breeze.

You wasted no time and bundled into the forest, shoulders weighted from your satchels filled to the brim with one subject notebooks and research logs you swiped from Max’s desk, a silent promise sounded in your head that you would return them in due time.

You hadn’t been careful enough, wandering into unmarked territory against the warnings of the scientists, when the body of a lengthy na’vi jumped down onto the overgrown forest floor below your shoes. He stood to his full height to leave you swallowing your tongue, eyes humorously wide and the lump in your throat bobbing nervously.

He looked down at you with such a piercing glare that your legs nearly turned to putty, his knife drawn but only pointed in your direction, not pressed to your throat like he would if you were a male. Human or not, you were still a woman, an unusually small one at that, and his mother taught him better.

His voice rumbled from deep in his chest, with an accent so thick you nearly had trouble understanding him when he demanded you speak of your purpose here, to save you from an untimely death he prayed he wouldn’t have to deliver.

He asked you a question that would require eye contact to ensure sincerity. However, his amber eyes wandered from yours, revealing he wasn’t at all threatened by you in the slightest, just perplexed. You answered frantically, your voice an embarrassing array of stutters while you promised your intentions were harmless, picking up the belongings you had dropped on the ground out of fear. He stared so intently, studying your much smaller frame, the way your features differed so vastly from his, the way you seemed so out of place yet you could breathe his air. You intrigued him— much to his reluctance.

He listened closely to your explanation, hard features and pursed lips softening at the sight of your trembling hands. He instructed you to leave and advised against coming back. He shooed you away and free of his hold with a tilt up of his chin, returning his knife back into the sheathing on his hip. Though he was out of your sight as you hurriedly made your way back to the lab, you were never out of his. He made his way into the trees and travelled from branch to branch, all the way to the edge of the forest to make sure you got out safely, something he would be doing more often than he expected.

From that moment on, you were more careful when you ventured out but a part of you couldn’t help but want to run into him again, and a part of him knew you wouldn’t listen to him when he told you not to. He could see it in your wondering eyes, an inference he made based on how you had stared at him like he created the stars with his own two hands, lips parted in awe when he stood in front of you.

You decided against telling Max and Norm what or who you had encountered, fearful they would revoke your field privileges, stopping you from ever seeing him again.

For weeks you’d plant yourself in the very same spot he spotted you the first time, childishly hopeful you would run into him again. And you did.

You asked of his name, eyes beady and beaming while they searched for any hint of a fissure in his stoic demeanor, your smile only growing when his deep voice granted you the privilege of knowing him. “Neteyam.” He spoke.

As time passed, you were increasingly less spooked every time he dropped in on you. Meeting him with a smile he now shyly returned, and an offering of some earth fruit he expressed interest in upon seeing it in your lunch box one day. Strawberries, or as he would call them, ‘the pointy red ones’. His favorite.

You wished you had gotten a picture of his reaction when he tried one for the first time. “Would you like to try one?” You’d said, holding the small red berry in front of his mouth and watching him take it from your hand. His cat like ears flickered with a newfound fascination as soon as it hit his tastebuds, eyes widened and blinking and tail swishing in delight. He took it upon himself to raid the rest of them from the minuscule container you held in your hands and shoveled them into his mouth like a kid in a chocolate factory, tuning out your belts of laughter.

And though he had seemed harsh the first time he saw you, it was only due to his innate protective nature. He couldn’t fathom why a feeble girl such as yourself, much less a human would be out so deep into the forest, especially without company.

So from that point on, he decided that he would follow you— just to make sure you weren’t disrupting any of the forest life with your research, of course. No other reason. You had never asked him to come along, he simply offered. He was more than interested in what you were doing and endlessly asked questions about the instruments you’d use to collect data, but unknown to you, he was mostly intent on keeping you safe. Because he enjoyed being around you, with you, and he couldn’t figure out why.

But it was apparent now; that Neteyam had developed a soft spot, an infatuation for someone who belonged to the very species him and his people despised. You.

The way he’d make the time in between the hours of his days to guide you through the forest, allowing you to gather rare samples without fear or collect those small, golden glowing flowers you swore reminded you of the dandelions back home. The day he kneeled in front of you, letting you place one between the plaits of his soft hair had been one you played over and over again in your mind while you laid in bed at night.

He’d sit with you, face to face on a blanket that was much too small to share with one his size, a curious finger prodding at your lip and hooking down into your jaw to pry it open. He’d peer into your mouth with a tilted glance as if he were a dentist, braids sweeping over his shoulders when he moved. “No fangs?” He’d query, making you giggle while your tongue swished around to find a comfortable spot around the intrusive finger. A wide, toothy grin would spread across his face at the sound of your laugh, his eyes lighting up and scanning your face to figure out how to make you do it again.

He’d hoist you up onto his back, more than willing to show you the parts of the forest you couldn’t see for yourself. Him leaping through the canopy trees and vast foliage while you clung to his body like a monkey would to its mother, giggling everytime a three fingered hand would reach around to check on you. Your unfiltered squeals and screams of excitement only made him jump higher and climb faster, almost like he wanted to impress you.

It was in the way he began bringing you small, hand-crafted trinkets or woven jewelry, made in your size to the best of his abilities due to his much larger hands. When you asked him why, he shrugged and said it was just a way of being nice— unknown to the fact that you read Grace’s old research logs where things such as the ones he gave you were noted as ‘courting gifts’ in na’vi culture.

The two of you would often relax together, perched on a branch, your back pressed to his stiff chest with his arms looped around to the front of your body. A blush would creep past your neck and to your cheeks when you’d feel his nose press into your hair, his breathing deepening while he took in your scent. He found it intoxicating, so new and foreign that he couldn’t help himself. His azure fingers would toy and intertwine with yours, amber eyes ogling the size of your tiny hands against his with utmost interest.

It shocked you, how intrigued such a fascinating being was with you, a normal human. Everything about him was so much more compelling, yet here he was, eager to get to know every part of you over and over again, seemingly conducting his own research.

His eyes had trailed over you while you sat with legs crossed in front of him, scribbling observations of the land down into a notebook when his hand reached forward to innocently tug at the strange looking clothing that always covered your body, his effortless strength nearly making you topple over. “Why do you wear all of these things? There’s no need, and they look uncomfortable.” His eyes big and focused, had he been a human boy you would have smacked his hand away at the obvious insinuation and probably filed a restraining order.

But Neteyam was different, everything about you and your kind was unknown to him. So you only looked up at him with a soft smile, finding his genuine confusion adorable. And even when you explained to him why you wore such extensive coverings back on earth, his eyebrows stayed furrowed, like he couldn’t understand it. The sexualization of the body was not something familiar to him and his people, and when you told him you faced dangers on your own planet because of it, you noticed his jaw tense in frustration.

After weeks of asking, he finally agreed to tutoring you in the na’vi language. He was patient with you, more patient than anyone your own species had ever been. He’d laugh heartily at you when your tongue would loll around in your mouth clumsily, watching your face scrunch up with determination while you terribly butchered the word he had demonstrated just moments prior. He’d shake his head to himself at your pouting when you realized you said it incorrectly, then pronounce it back to you, slower.

It was clear that in the short time spent with Neteyam, you had already won his heart. The way the rough pad of his thumb would smooth against the skin of your lips, taking note of how soft it was, and how they were pink instead of blue, like his. He had leaned in before you could realize, languidly brushing his lips against yours with a hum before pulling away. “Hm,” He cocked his head to the side and feigned confusion, the corner of his mouth slightly perking into a grin at your flustered appearance before he mimicked something he always heard you say. “I think I need to take some more samples.”

Someone better call a cop. Cause this fic is robbing me of my feelings CAUSE ITS TOO DAMN CUTE. 😍

This Is a Family

dad!neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader

→ warnings: slight angst, neteyam doubting himself, aged up neteyam for the sake of him being a father (nothing sexual), one mention of being shot (pass tense).

→ summary: neteyam has doubts about his parenting, and he fears that he’s going to raise his son the way his father raised him.

→ i ??? love ??? him ??? so ??? much ??? he deserves the world.

→ 1.0k words

Neteyam always masked his fear. Growing up, he figured the best way to keep his siblings together during the war with the Sky People was to pretend he was never scared. It worked especially well with Tuk, and in turn, she felt herself feel less worry.

And people never questioned whether he was actually scared or not. Partly because he got so good at acting, but mostly because he was the oldest child of the great Toruk Makto. Apparently that meant he had the inability to feel regular Na’vi emotions.

It became a part of him. He never showed his fear to anyone, even in fearful situations. He buried it so deep down that he never once thought that maybe, just maybe, it would end up coming back to bite him in the ass.

Like it was in this moment.

He was sat down in your shared Marui, head held low in the palms of his hands, elbows resting on his knees with his legs crossed. His breathing was rapid and his chest was rising and falling like he just ran twelve miles. He couldn’t stop the racing thoughts in his head.

Pregnant. You’re pregnant. He’s going to be a father.

That in itself isn’t a bad thing. Don’t get him wrong, he was ecstatic when Ronal confirmed both of your suspicions. He kissed you so hard the moment the words left her lips, and he cuddled you tight that night (and every night after) with his palm resting on your tummy, where your son was growing everyday. God, he was so happy. So fucking happy. But there was still that overwhelming fear he felt when he thought about it some more.

Because no, he doesn’t think his dad was a bad dad. No, he doesn’t think ill of his dad. But he knows that his parenting method had affected the way he grew up in such a way he couldn’t even explain. And Neteyam was always scared that the way his dad raised him was so engraved into his brain that he would subconsciously raise his son to be the same.

It scared him so much, but like usual, he never let it show. Unbeknownst to him, however, you were always able to see right through him. Since the moment you two met, you were able to tell he was not only nervous to be around an entirely new clan, but also scared.

And he always wondered how you always knew when to comfort him, but he just thought that was some weird coincidence. You never mentioned it to him. Because admittedly, you thought the look of confusion he showed when you comforted him was cute. You always thought Neteyam was cute. Since the moment you saw him.

You were walking by your Marui to get to your friends’ when you heard sniffling inside. When you peaked your head in and saw that the sniffling was coming from Neteyam, your heart cracked. You’d barely ever seen him cry before. Only a handful of times; once when he got shot during the war with the Sky People; and once when you found out you were with child. Each time, he had people there to comfort him, but this time, as he sat alone inside the Marui, he had no one.

You quickly rushed over to his side, putting your hand on his shoulder gently. Neteyam jumped at the feeling of your hand on him, not knowing anyone was even there in the first place.

“Yawne, what is wrong?” Your voice was gentle, soft. It was one of the many things Neteyam lovrd about you. “What has happened?”

He sniffled again before answering, “Nothing tiyawn, do not worry.”

You let out a scoff at that and moved to kneel in front of him, hands finding their way on his thighs, moving up and down to comfort him. You wanted him to look at you and repeat it, because you knew he couldn’t lie to you like that. And when he didn’t meet your eyes, it was basically confirmed right then that something was wrong.

You took his face in your hands and tilted his head up, finally looking each other in the eyes. Neteyam placed his palms on the back of your hands and sighed.

“What is wrong.” It was more of a demand for him to tell you rather than a question this time.

He debated whether he should say it or not, but he ultimately decided he should. “I am scared.”

“Of what, my love?”

Again, he sniffled and placed a hand over your now very prominent baby bump, “Of becoming a father.” When you didn’t answer, he took it as a silent tell for him to elaborate. “I am scared that I will raise him the way my dad raised me. I do not want our son to feel the amount of pressure I felt growing up. I do not want him to feel like his siblings do not get the same amount of… attention, from his parents.”

To lighten the mood, you smirked, “‘His siblings’,” you repeated, seeing the smallest of smiles form on your husband’s face, “you want more, huh?”

“Well, yes. It is inevitable, I cannot just stop making love to you.”

A light cover of blush appeared on your cheeks, and Neteyam’s smile only grew wider. Though you kept as serious as you could in order to reassure him of his thoughts. “Mayawne, you will be the greatest father known to man. You will raise your son, and his siblings, with the amount of love anyone would only wish they’re parents had showed them. You will be an amazing father, no matter what your thoughts are telling you.”

He visibly relaxed at your words, shoulders dropping and chest loosening with a deep breath. “Besides, if you step out of line, I will be right there to slap you so hard you will forget you are even a father in the first place.”

Neteyam laughed, but nodded. Even if you were joking in the moment, he knew you would keep to your word. He leaned forward and kissed you lovingly. And though the kiss tasted of salty tears, you loved it. You loved any kiss your husband would give you.

“I see you.” He whispered against your lips, eyes closed and forehead against yours.

You smiled, “I see you.”

Inspirational Anime Video --Why Do We Fall?--2013

Woohoo! Ya girl is now 21. Let's make today awesome 🎉❤

"That's not my child" 🤣🤣

“Don’t be a skxawng, just ask her.”

pairings: neteyam x reader

warnings: cute, fluff, bad writing

key: skxawng - moron, muntxa - mate

summary: Neytiri and Jake talk about you and Neteyam being perfect for each other.

As long as Neytiri could remember, Neteyam always followed you everywhere.

Where ever Y/n L/n is, Neytiri’s eldest son was glued right by her side.

Didn’t matter if they were five or fifteen, he had always been there, never embarrassed once by Y/n’s akward energetic personality.

Neytiri always kept an eye on the two kids, and couldn’t help but notice her and Jake in them.

As Y/n was passionately talking and Neteyam was listening, Neytiri was watching from afar, as Jake walked behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

“Hey gorgeous, what are you looking at,” he asked his lover.

As Neytiri glanced at her mate, she motioned at the kids. “Your son is in love, you know this?”

Jake spots the two laughing and nods in acknowledgment. “Yea, Neteyam’s been following her around for years now.”

Neytiri wistfully sighed and leaned her head against Jake’s chest and looked up at him.

“Oh ma Jake, Neteyam is in love. He grows to fast,” she said, wiping a tear away.

“Neytiri,” Jake starts.

“You know he loves you very much, being in love doesn’t change that.”

Neytiri nods in agreement. “I know this, but why my son is not brave to ask to court her, I do not know,” she scoffs.

“Yeah, that one is definitely something we need to work on with him.”

Neytiri sighed, “Oh ma ‘Teyam. Y/n is good for him, yes?”

Jake nods, staring at the said person laughing.

“She will make great Tsahik,” Neytiri says with no hint of uncertainty in her voice.

“No doubt she will,” Jake agrees.

Hearing a crash, the parents turn to the noise to see Neteyam holding Y/n, as if she has tripped and he caught her.

Toruk Makto and his wife stood, silently urging their son to make a move.

As the pause between the teenagers had been prolonged, Neteyam cleared his throat and stepped back.

The adults facepalmed and looked at each other.

“Your son is stupid,” Neytiri said, turning to Jake.

“My son? He’s a momma’s boy, that’s all you,” Jake retorted.

Before they could continue arguing, Neteyam walked away from Y/n, headed in their direction.

“Mother, Father, what are you doing here,” their son asked in confusion.

“Apparently watching you be a stupid skxawng,” Jake answered his ignorant son.

As Neteyam spluttered, Neytiri held a hand to silence him.

“You must, what is it you say ma Jake, ‘man up?’ Is that how you say? You must ‘man up’ and ask her to be your muntxa, if you like her that is?”

Neteyam paused for a brief moment, trying to choose his words wisely.

“Yes..” he started. “I like her. A lot.”

“Then I see no problem, go ask her,” Neytiri told her son.

Neteyam nodded and turned to find the said girl when he was suddenly stopped by his father.

“Hey, Neteyam,” Toruk Makto called out.

“Yes sir?”

“Don’t be a skxawng, just ask her.”

———————————————————————

A/N: Please comment what you think!! I might have an idea for part 2 or I might make another imagine similar to this for when Neteyam asks Y/n 🤭

I know I'm ovulating when anything smut wise just grabs my soul and fucks it good.

I DO NOT NEED THIS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE GOD DAMNIT 😭😭💔💔

Illicit Affairs | Chapter VIII: My Tears Ricochet

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII

Synopsis: All secrets are revealed and both you and Neteyam have to live with the consequences of your actions.

Warnings: pure angst, mentions of death, mental illness, addiction, self-injury, limited mentions of Y/N, did i mention angst, angst and more angst?

Word Count: 10,3k words (the first couple chapters were 3k, how did we get here??!)

A/N: This chapter killed me a little inside. I cried multiple times writing it, so I guess fair warning. I wanted really badly to build strong, round characters who had flaws and strengths and strong reasoning for acting a certain way/doing certain things. I wanted to write this story from both character's perspective, so it is clear that in life, each person will think they are right, that their reasoning was the correct one, when in reality, we are all a little right and a little wrong in everything we do, and it is always worth trying to see things from the other's perspective. We are coming towards the end of this first series, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of this journey. As always, thank you so much for everyone who engaged with it, I loved reading ALL of your comments and replies, they really make my day.

(Also, I feel like I am playing my own little game of "how many Taylor Swift and OG Avatar lyrics/quotes/references I can reasonably fit in a story without it being obnoxious" and I can't tell if I'm winning or not.)

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet"

You registered the girl asking you if you were alright, but you couldn’t see in front of you, the entire room spinning like the inside of a mirrorball. You felt your body rise from where it was sat next to Neteyam’s, and shakily made your way out. Neteyam’s mate. Neteyam’s mate was next to you, asking you if you need help. It all got too much, and you lunged your body forwards and threw up on the ground next to your tent. You were panting, trying to somehow get a grasp on your mind and push the hurt aside, enough so you can see and hear the world around you.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” you manage to blurt out weakly.

You heard more commotion, and faintly made out Jake’s voice and his arm on your shoulder, trying to bring you back to them.

“Neteyam, what the hell happened?”

You didn’t hear Neteyam speak. He was quiet and you were glad. You didn’t want to hear his voice, not now, and not for the rest of your life.

The world came back to focus eventually, and you spit aggressively trying to get rid of the taste of acid in your mouth. You removed Jake’s hand from your back, and left. The thought of speaking or even looking at any of them was too much to bear. You ran, harder than you ever had before, back to where you just came from, the Ikran nest in the village. You immediately recognised your own, beautiful, gold and white, pure, unlike the rest of this world. Neyn (light colours, shades of white)… fitting name, you thought. You made the tsaheylu quickly, and without a second thought, took off.

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF

STAGE III: DEPRESSION

You had no thoughts as you flew above the forest and made your way towards the general direction of the Hallelujah mountains. You realised you didn’t know where you were going, you didn’t know how you were going to find your way back, but it didn’t matter. Were you even going to ever return? There were no tears, no sadness, just emptiness. The pieces of your heart broke so finely they turned into dust, blown away in the wind of the night. Eventually you found the mountains, easy enough to spot, even in the darkness, the fluorescent flora marking the territory with an easy-to-see glow. You flew like this, for enough time that your lungs were running out of breath and your skin felt battered by the wind, but you kept going. You felt so free, so weightless. There was a calmness to your thoughts that you haven’t felt in years, probably since your mother died.

You saw a distant mountain that looked brighter than the others, and you made your way to it and were amazed to find a little cave in it, bright and colourful, a little piece of heaven on a planet that was heaven in and of itself. Neyn landed softly on the edge of the mountain and you dismounted effortlessly and approached her head, giving her pets on her neck, to which she cooed gently. She was the only friend you had, you realise. You were all alone.

“Neteyam, what happened?”

Neteyam was dragged in the tent by his dad, who was fuming. No matter what feelings his dad was feeling, they couldn’t compare to Neteyam’s anguish and terror. Why the hell was she there? She just had to wait another couple of hours and this would have never happened.

“She was patching my wound up when Tiongli came in the tent, announcing to the world she is my mate. Said mother told her about my injury.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on your mother, boy.” the Sully patriarch’s nose was flared, eyes looking at him intensely with anger and disappointment. Neteyam’s eyes filled with tears, and he felt his heart hurting so much like the gash was there instead of his arm.

“I was going to tell her tonight, dad. After dinner. I was going to tell her everything, and I was going to ask her to be my mate. I was going to come to you both and ask you to undo the engagement. I understand that a year and a half ago I gave up on her, I did it for a reason, I thought there was no future for us, and that we were hurting each other. But things have changed. She has changed. She’s going to be one of the people soon and I want her to be mine.”

“Neteyam, you can’t undo the engagement. You have known Tiongli your whole life, her family’s been expecting this since you were both young. You gave your word before Eywa, son.”

“I love her, dad. Do you understand that? I have loved her all of my life. It killed me having to leave, it killed me knowing there was no future, because she was human. But she’s not just human anymore. I was willing to go through with this for the sake of the village, for the sake of the family and the future, but if there is any chance I can have the love of my life by my side, instead, I will cling on to it for dear life. Mother was betrothed to uncle Tsu’tey, and she gave that up for you. It was done before Eywa, and she didn’t care. Because she loved you and she knew that was enough. She gave up being Tsahik, her birth right, so she can have you. I will not give up on her, dad. Mother wouldn’t have given up on you.”

“I have to find her. I have to make this right.”

You were sprawled on your back, feeling goosebumps form along your limbs from the cold grass. You were staring at the sky, noticing the bright stars you now knew were actually bright death sentences, each of them beautiful and devastating. Will you even still be alive when they come? Will everything you have gone through these few months matter? Will everything you have gone through in this life matter? All the pain, and the hurt, and the grief, just so you can die at 18 from a virus. The universe was cruel, you thought. It was a fitting end, though. Meaningless and daft, like your entire life was. Born on a planet you were not made to be able to survive on, your real planet a long-forsaken dream you will never experience for yourself, surrounded by nature that could kill you in an instant. Alone, never fitting anywhere, orphaned by human diseases: cancer and greed. Left to fend for yourself when you were just ten, learning to navigate a life that only seemed to want to clobber you to the ground whenever you thought you finally could stand up again.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel, not anymore. You wanted to fight for something, for the chance at life, or at retribution, or at love. You were dying and Neteyam killed whatever hope remained in you. They all did. Norm, Max, Jake, Neytiri, Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, all accomplices, all aware, all willing to lie to your face for weeks with no remorse. You thought you were good at spotting liars, now you just knew how little you knew about everything.

The pain in your soul mirrored the one in your body, as you felt the morphine wearing off and your human body struggling to keep the mind steady for the link. You had to bear it, because this pain was more manageable than the one you knew waited for you in your human form, when you would be alone in a dark room with only your nightmares to keep you company.

With a sigh and a peer up at the sky, you hoped whatever comes after death was better than the hell you’ve lived in the majority of this life.

Neteyam waited the whole night in your tent, waited for you to come back, becoming increasingly worried as the hours passed and you didn’t show. He wanted to go and look for you, but knew that as soon as you got on your ikran, the chances of finding you were thin. He would go to the lab as soon as dawn broke, but for now, he was praying that you would just burst through the tent opening so he can talk you down.

He fucked up, badly. He cringed at the thought of how much he seemed to not be able to get anything right when it comes to you. Everything he did or didn’t do ended up hurting you more, the only thing he didn’t want, the only thing in the world he continuously tried to avoid.

He was consoled by the fact that he would have a lifetime to make it up to you. He will not give up trying, no matter how long, no matter how hard, he was determined to win you back and keep you, forever.

As you made it back to your human body in the early hours of the morning, you regretted waiting so long, as your body was in indescribable agony, the likes with which you didn’t know was possible for the human body to ever experience. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, you were sweating bullets and every bone and muscle in your body throbbed with enough intensity to make it almost impossible for you to get up from the pod. Everyone must be asleep at this hour, you thought. You had to make it to your bed, you had to get at least a couple of hours of rest if you were going to live to see another day. As if you were taking the Iknimaya again, you made your way form the lab to the medical ward and injected another dose of the morphine in your system. There was no going back now, you were too far down the rabbit hole to stop and why put yourself through more unnecessary pain when this will all be over in a few days anyway?

You crashed in your room for a few hours and quickly made your way back to the pod before anyone else was there to talk to. You started the linkpod by yourself and got in without hesitation.

Waking up in your Avatar body was a strange experience, as you were still in the Hallelujah mountains where you fell asleep last night. Neyn did not leave you, you noted, and she was peacefully resting next to you, cooing softly in her sleep.

“Hey, beautiful girl. Time to go back. It would be useful if you knew the way.” you pet her gently, trying not to disturb her. She woke up and pushed her snoot in your chest, and you felt it swell for this animal that you had an unbreakable bond with; you were grateful you had done the Iknimaya and at least gained a life companion from that horrible day.

As suspected, Neyn knew where to take you, and in about an hour you made it back to the village. You dreaded it, dreaded the inevitable interaction, but you knew you had to go back at some point and inform them of your whereabouts.

It was still early, so the village wasn’t quite bustling with energy yet. You quietly made it back to your tent, which you found empty. You grabbed your bow and arrows, knife and gun and a couple extra magazines. You didn’t know if you were going to be back. As you were making your way out, your head bumped into a large, muscular chest.

Fuck.

“Where the hell were you all night, kid? None of us slept a wink last night worrying.”

“Out.”

“What the hell do you mean out? Out where? You leave without telling, you don’t come back the whole night, do you have a fucking death wish?”

You laughed at the irony of his words. He caught your arm as you were walking away and pulled you back forcefully so you can face him.

“You are not going anywhere.”

“Let go.” Jake raised a brow at your words. He was not used to being spoken this way, you realise.

“How long?”

His grasp on you loosened, and his gaze softened when you peered up at him through eyelashes to which tears clung.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Kid…”

“How fucking long, Jake?”

He let go of your arm at your curse, which had never been directed at him before.

“Watch your tone, kid.”

“You made me feel like shit for learning to shoot guns without you. It made you feel bad, right? Knowing I purposefully left you out of something you could have been useful at, something we could have bonded over? I hurt you, by pushing you and Neytiri away for so many years, and I am sorry for that, but you have never, in your life, tried to understand me. So you gave me shit about something you didn’t understand, and I hurt so much inside at the thought of all I gave away by my reluctance to trust, to love, to let people in. So I changed. I let you in. I was here, everyday, acting like a perfect little daughter for you, the daughter I knew you wanted. Strong, capable, skilled. I let Neytiri in. I started calling her mum in my dreams, and although the guilt for my own mother gnawed at my insides silently, I was also relived, to finally have a family again, or for the first time.

You made me love you and break down these carefully constructed walls so you can be comfortable and sleep well at night for not breaking your promise my mum, and then you fucking stabbed me in the back.

I trusted you, Jake. You fucking lied to my face for months. Every time I asked where Neteyam was at dinners and you told me he was practicing, every day you plotted to get me out of the village as early morning as humanly possible and get me back after everyone else was fast asleep, I knew it in my heart you were lying, but you were all so good at it, I thought I was going crazy. But no, it was all a carefully planned ruse to not find out you made me come here and be part of the people just to watch the man I love belong to someone else without even a chance to decide for myself how to feel about it.”

The fight brought out the rest of the Sully family out of their tent, and they were all watching you now, concern and sadness displayed across their beautiful faces.

“You all lied to me. Looked me in the fucking eyes and lied to me, every day, multiple times a day. You were supposed to be my family.

The humans are coming. I will be here. I will stand and fight, you know I will. I will be your little soldier, and be who you made me into.

But I want to make this perfectly clear. As far as I am concerned, you and I, we are done. I am done.” You looked at every Sully one last time, and left.

You were no longer delightfully numb, but burning with anger and earth-shattering sorrow as you stalked away from the village, leaving everything behind. Your eyes were blurry with endless tears, mourning this life and this family that you managed to gain and lose within the span of a few weeks, reeling from the wounds within your heart that never had a chance to mend before being opened again, over and over. You didn’t want to go back to the lab, knowing Neteyam was most likely looking for you there. You couldn’t go to the clearing for the same reason. You had no home anymore, no place in this world, once again. You could only think of one place to go, one place where no one would ever look for you.

Your knees were shaking furiously as you walked, and you were scared of another flashback that you would have to ride out by yourself, but it never came. You just walked, crying and panting from all the pain the last 24 hours brought, and eventually you made it to a place you never thought you would ever see again. The clearing looked peaceful, with rays of light penetrating through tree branches, creating Mandalas on the ground that you found yourself tracing with your eyes.

In the corner, lay a decrepit exo suit, and you made your way to it, settling on the ground next to it. You knew now this exo suit belonged to your dad, and you removed some vines that grew on top of his name, Gideon Barlowe. A beautiful name, you thought, and your mind wandered to the past, a past way before you were even born, and wondered what your grandparents did back on Earth. Did they encourage their son to leave his own planet in pursuit of planetary colonisation, monetary gain and murderous acts? Did they know? Did he know? Was he like that his whole life, or did he start off fighting the good fight, and was corrupted by the jagged and monstrous lifestyle? You wondered if this was what he has always dreamt of doing, or he had secret dreams of being a painter, or a gardener. Did he play guitar, too? You snored sometimes, did you get that from him? You had so many questions for this man you shared half your DNA with, but have never met. For the man that died on a planet far away from home, alone, with no one to mourn him.

Was that going to be you? Would Neteyam remember you in 20 years, when he would tell stories about his childhood to his kids, when he remembered the good old times? Would you get a Na’vi send off? Or were you going to be buried somewhere in the forest, for someone to stumble upon in a distant future you would no longer be a part of?

Sobbing uncontrollably, you heard yourself speak in between wails. “Why am I here? Great Mother, is there a reason for this hurt? Please tell me there is more to this life, there is more to life than this, because I cannot do this anymore. I am so tired. I have tried to keep going my whole life, even when I wanted nothing more than to cease to exist, blissfully collapse in an ether where I didn’t have to feel anything anymore. I kept going because I wanted to make my mum proud, I wanted to honour the body and life she has given me. I am trying so hard, but I am really fucking tired.”

A little past eclipse, you arrived at the lab, and used the keycard you remembered to bring with you. You hoped Neteyam would be gone by now, in case he was trying to find you here. You made your way through the hub and into your bedroom, which looked tiny in your Avatar body. You realise how uncomfortable it must have been for him to be here so often, then cursed your brain for making you think about such things. Your Avatar body needed a bed, so you walked slowly to where the other Avatar bodies usually were laid to rest for the night. There should be an empty space where your mum or Grace used to sleep. It didn’t take long for you to wake up back in the linkpod, as with most nights recently, you were barely able to maintain the neurolink by the time evening came.

Max was waiting for you. “Neteyam came by. He’s been looking for you, said you left the village yesterday and didn’t come back. He was worried sick.”

You didn’t answer him, as you slowly got out of the pod and tried to steady your feet on the ground, harder than it seemed when the entire room was spinning around you.

“What happened?”

“The mate you all hid from me for weeks came announcing herself in my tent as we were just about to kiss.”

“Any other questions?”

You didn’t wait for a response before you made your way out of the room, stalking towards the medical ward.

As you retired to your room for the night, you noted the morphine was not working as well as used to anymore. You sat on the bed, looking at the arm that was getting blue at the amount of needle holes it had, and you knew then you didn’t have much time left. Maybe a couple of days. A couple more days of this. And then it would finally be over. You gave it a fair shot, this life thing. You couldn’t say you felt particularly sad at the thought of it ending. You pressed play on your vintage record player and let yourself sleep.

“Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, til my dying day”

You spent the next 2 days in a haze, drugged out of your mind, waking up before eclipse and leaving to your dad’s grave and sleeping in the woods until the night, barely able to make it on your own two feet. Even in your human body, Neyn recognised you, and stood by you, which gave you some peace of mind. You made sure to bring her fruits from the lab, and she cooed warmly as she settled next to you.

When you made your way back that night, Norm was waiting.

“Where the hell have you been? Everyone’s been looking for you for 3 fucking days.”

You removed your oxygen mask and made your way to the room, where he followed you. You were in so much pain you couldn’t see straight.

“I am talking to you!” he took you by your arm and spun you around. The motion made you instantly sick, and you struggled to keep down the fruits you shared with your ikran.

“Let go of me, Norm.” you had no strength in your body anymore, so it took you awhile to shake him off.

“You look like shit. What did you do?”

You managed to make it to the bathroom, where you shut the door behind you and got in the shower. Fortunately, for you or him, you couldn’t tell, Norm was gone when you came out.

The next morning, you woke up desperately searching for pain relief and didn’t know if you were going to be able to make it to the ward before your knees would collapse on themselves. You were shaking and dizzy, out of your mind with agony and walking to the bathroom felt like the most intensive workout you have ever done. You peered up at yourself in the mirror and were scared at the eyes watching you, rabid and wild, like an injured animal waiting to lash out. It was too much for you to bear, and before you could even think or rationalise, you felt your fingers curl into a fist and make contact with the cold glass of the mirror, shattering in dozens of pieces, and it made you weirdly happy to have a visual representation of how your soul felt. The instant pain of the all the wounds the smash caused also gave you a weird sense of euphoria, and you realised it was taking away from the pain in the rest of the body, which was only able to focus on one agonising sensation at a time. This felt like a kiss by comparison, and you knew then you could go on a little longer, you could continue with the rest of the day.

Norm came bursting through the door at the loud crash.

“What the hell happened? Are you okay?”

You came out of your bathroom, blood dripping all over the floor as you made your way to the bed, sitting down on it.

“Leave, Norm.”

“What?”

“Leave.”

“What the hell has gotten into you recently. you are rude and brash, and you hurt people’s feelings with no remorse. This isn’t you.”

“What the hell do you know about me, Norm?” you say, laughing bitterly.

“Ace, stop.”

“You don’t know anything, Norm.” you kept going, the fury and hurt getting the best of you, once again, your need to destroy everything in your path as a way to cope with your own heartbreak winning by a landslide.     

“Did you know I have needed pills to sleep and to live a normal day-to-day life since I was 13? I have been slowly depleting our sleeping pill and benzodiazepines inventory and replacing it with multivitamin pills I found in one of the drawers. I mean thank God none of you suffer from anxiety or panic disorder or need help sleeping cause I would have been busted so long ago.”

You laughed mockingly at his shocked face, jaw so close the floor now you could trip on it on your way out.

“Did you know I am about a week and a half away from dying after I accidentally smashed a vial of infected blood and got it in my mouth?”

You stand corrected, you think now his jaw was close enough to the floor to trip on it.

“Did you know I have upgraded from a pill addiction to a full blown opioid addiction in order to not collapse on the floor in excruciating pain because of the way this virus is eating at my insides? Yeah, yeah, that’s right. We’re almost out of a whole vial of morphine after I injected it in my veins every day for a while now.”

He had no words. “That’s about right.”

“I do know one thing you do know, though. You know that Neteyam had his mate announcement ceremony that day I took off. You were there to see the two love birds announce their love and pledge their commitment to each other the one day I was not there. And that’s why you were acting shifty. You know about that. And somehow you forgot to tell me, every day, for weeks. How does that work out, Norm, hmm?”

“I felt so bad for snapping at you a couple of days ago. I felt like a horrible fucking person for hurting your feelings. I should have been watching my back, instead.”

You got up from your bed and started walking towards the door.

“If I were you I would not linger in a room with poisoned blood dripping on the floor for too long.”

You found some paper towels at the side of your bed and wrapped them around your bleeding, pained hand, and with that, you left.

After you upped the morphine you usually took, you went to the lab and prepped a hood for some more experiments. Work was a good way to get your mind off things, to mindlessly do something that had a purpose other than driving you to the brink of insanity.

You heard a loud banging noise coming from the entrance, and you had a sneaking suspicion you knew who it was. You heard Norm open the door.

“Is she here?”

“Yeah, but Neteyam, I think you should go. She’s not in a good place, and I really don’t think doing this will end well for either of you.”

“I don’t care, I have to talk to her, I have been looking for her for 3 fucking days.”

You heard the door to the lab slide open and hissed at the man you knew would be trying to come in, realising hissing in a human body doesn’t have nearly the same effect.

“Get the fuck out, Neteyam. This is a sterile room.”

“I don’t fucking care about the room, Atan. Where the fuck have you been? Please come out so we can talk.”

You threw your head back and laughed, really laughed.

“You really are delusional if you think there is any way in heaven and hell I would want to hear anything you have got to say. The time for talking was a couple months ago, Neteyam. The time for talking was the first day I got my Avatar body, where in addendum to telling me you own my ass now, you could have also sprinkled in the fact your are now mated with someone else.”

“I am not mated with anyone, for fuck’s sake. Just come out so we can talk, please. I will explain everything, please!”

You stopped what you were doing and looked at him, for the first time since that day. He looked exhausted, anguished. Deep purple bags under his eyes, that were burning red where the whites should be. He has been crying. Good, you thought. He looked panicked and miserable and desperate for you to give him the time of day, for you to allow him to explain the unexplainable.

You sighed and your heart constricted in pain. Neteyam will not be happy until there was nothing left of you, until he took everything from you. At the same time, you were curious, morbidly curious as to what has actually happened, what led to this moment. You knew he loved you. You knew that much, but it didn’t seem to matter in this moment, as he broke your heart for what felt like the thousandth time in your short life.

“Go to the clearing, I’ll come when I’m ready.”

You half considered just leaving him there to wait, abandoning him just he did to you. You finished splitting your cells and treating them, and in about an hour, you went into the linkpod and took your Avatar for a walk in the woods. You reached the clearing shortly, as it was close enough that even child you could do it without getting too far away from the building.

You saw him standing there, his back turned to you and his legs submerged in the river that was rushing violently downstream. It was a cold day, and rain was trickling down your body like shivers from a kiss. There was tension in the air, and you knew a storm was coming. You could practically feel the charge in the atmosphere, and were expecting thunder to start any minute now, ready to mirror the agony in your soul.

“I’m here.”

He didn’t speak for a while. Just stood looking at the river, deep in thought.

“So many of our moments throughout the years happened here. Remember when I taught you to swim in the river? Now, in retrospective, that was a bad idea since the water kept taking you away, to the point I had to wait at the end so I could catch you in my arms, like you were a baby.”

You winced at the memory.  You thought you could do this. You felt numb in that lab, numb on the way here, but as soon as your eyes focused on him, tears starting pooling in your eyes and pain overtook your body, that you tried to counteract by wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. He’s caused you so much hurt, so much grief in the years he’s known you. But he was also at the forefront of most of your happiest memories. You could fill endless manuscripts with the beauty of his love, that shone so brightly over you your whole life. He was the light in all the darkness and you honestly didn’t think you would have survived this journey without him.

That is why this hurt so much, why your body was convulsing on itself in insurmountable grief. And also why you owed him this much. Owed him this conversation, and the right to explain his point of view, that you were still unfamiliar with.

“I remember. I remember even at the time, thinking this was a good metaphor for our relationship. Life kept sweeping me off my feet, but you were always there to catch me, before it could take me away. I had so much faith in you back then, you were a fact of life, like the eclipse. You were the one person in this world I thought would never hurt me.”

“Fuck, Y/N, all I did before I left is hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” You were confused at the turn this conversation took. What did he mean? You couldn’t recall a single time Neteyam hurt you before you left. Sure, you would fight and bicker sometimes, but it was a normal part of any relationship, you thought. And he always made it up to you, would always come to the lab and sit with you with flowers he collected or trinkets he found in the woods, always holding you and kissing your forehead to make sure you were over it before he had to leave. Fighting with him was ironically one of your favourite things, because you knew the aftermath was the closest you ever felt to being in heaven.

“I almost fucking killed you. Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten how I manipulated you into getting on top of an ikran when you were just a 13 year old human and almost watched you die? Have you forgotten I took you to the woods and raced you to your dad’s remains? I was a walking magnet for disasters in your life and I was tired, so fucking tired of watching your life fall apart all around me. I had to watch you learn to walk again, limp because of my actions, for years. I had to pull you out of flashbacks and nightmares you developed because of ME. You were always fine in the woods with Lo’ak or Kiri, but everything bad that has happened to you happened around me.”

He was crying, panting and angry, at himself or you or the universe, you couldn’t tell.

“I thought that if I left, you would be ok. I just wanted to protect you. My whole life, all I have wanted was for you to be ok. But it seems no matter what I do, I keep fucking up.”

You had no words to speak as you lay there, listening to him letting you in to a secret you have spent so many months agonising over. The reason for his departure haunted you for a year and a half, even when you refused to think about him, about it, it was there, constantly emerging from the depths of your subconsciousness, taunting you in your dreams. Why? Why? Why?

Because he wanted to protect you?

You didn’t have time to process all of this new information, before he continued.

“The night you found your dad, I was shaken to my core, in a way I have never truly been before. I was so heartbroken, for you and for myself, for knowing this will haunt you for the rest of your life. I went home and mother found me, and told me that maybe I can’t help you in the way I’ve always wanted. That maybe it’s better for you that I remove myself for a while and leave you room to breathe and heal. So I did. It took me a long time to get the strength to do it. Every time I thought today is the day, I would see you and you would smile at me, and we would sit on your bed and you would read to me or play me songs or just be there, just you and me, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. You were everything to me, my light in all the darkness.

A year later, you sang me the song and you were smiling at me singing it, and I knew you were confessing feelings we have both felt for years and couldn’t say out loud. And I knew that if I stayed, whatever we had would escalate past the point of no return. If I stayed, that would be it. And that’s when I decided. I thought I was doing us both a favour. I knew it would hurt you, just as much as it hurt me, but I thought the pain would subside in time.”

You were crying now, you realised, tears falling silently and effortlessly down your face, with no intention to ever stop, instantly washed away by the pouring rain. There were no sounds, no sobs or wails, or panted breaths, just the sounds of rain and hopeless, soft cries and muffled sniffles, for the man in front of you, for all that you have lost, for the past you shared and the future that you would never have.

He got up from where he stood and turned around to face you. He walked towards you until he was so close to you could feel his breath on your face. His stare made goosebumps appear on your entire body, so earnest and desperate, so full of intensity for the words he was trying to convey to you.

“It didn’t.” He said, at the same time you thought the same words in your mind.

“A few years ago, mother and father told me I would one day have to find a mate. They knew and I knew it was expected of me, but I always put it off, so they eventually dropped it. I learnt later they both knew about us, so they didn’t push me into anything until they felt I was ready. A few months after they realised I decided to leave, they started bringing it up again. I didn’t want to hear it, but they said it was time, as I had refused for years longer than what was acceptable in the clan. I met with so many girls, all from good families, all healers in training, all wrong. Beautiful girls, smart girls, skilled healers and singers, and it was like looking at the grey walls of your lab. I felt nothing, I felt sick just thinking about it, like just the thought would be betraying the memory of our bond. Eventually, I told them they can decide. Grandma can decide whatever she thinks is best, and, as Tsahik, I would listen to her voice and wisdom, and do my duty to the clan. She chose Tiongli. I knew her growing up, and we were friendly, so I tried to make an effort. I would go to her tent, and she would show me her training sometimes, I would let her heal my wounds and imagined it was your hands touching me instead. I visited her family and paid my respects, and had dinner with them whenever they invited me. I hoped in time, I could learn to care for her, to lessen the distaste in my mouth whenever my family or the clan talked about the future, about the ceremony, about the life I was supposed to lead that I hated even the thought of.

And then, one day, my dad sent me to get Lo’ak from the lab. I was so scared of knowing I would have to see you again. It had been so long, and so many feelings gnawed at me on the walk there, terror and anxiety, guilt and longing. But then I saw you, and there was only one feeling: love. Like no time had passed at all. I knew then I was going to love you for the rest of my life, and that will never change. That was my fact of life, my eclipse.”

He slowly took your face in his hands, and his thumb was caressing your cheek trying to wipe the tears and raindrops that were falling mercilessly. You saw his face slowly getting closer to yours, and you knew you should pull away, you should remove yourself from his grasp before the kiss was going to remove the last ounce of happiness from you. You knew what you had to do, knew that no matter what information or answers or justifications he would give you today, they wouldn’t matter. You should pull away, because there is no future, no hope. But you couldn’t. You didn’t know what waited for you in the afterlife, but if there was any chance you would have your memories, you wanted this kiss to haunt you forever, to remind you of the life you left behind.

His lips touched yours so gently, it felt like a whisper. Like a hug, tender and warm, it was so different than your first kiss. Tears were still running down your face as your lips moved, entangled with his and begging for more. Your hands went to his chest, to his neck, to his back, just touching him, trying to memorise his body, this feeling. You wanted so much more, you wanted to be his, you wanted to feel him, you wanted him to own you, like he did your heart, which has been his your entire life and will still be his after your death.

You were a mess of wet tangled limbs and panted breaths by the end, and eventually, he broke the kiss to look at you through teary eyes.

“I love you, I will always love you. I am so sorry.”

“I love you, too.”

“But this doesn’t change anything, Neteyam.”

“Thank you, for finally telling me why you left. For giving me some closure for something that has plagued me for so long, it became a constant part of my nightmares. Thank you for having my best interest at heart; it couldn’t have been easy to leave, if you didn’t want to, it took a strong heart to do something that hurt you for what you thought was the lesser evil. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“You left me. You broke me. And you never gave me a chance to make my own decisions. To figure out for myself what was the path forward. I have NEVER blamed you for my misfortunes. The ikran ride is still a beautiful memory to me. You made it a beautiful memory. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, we probably would have both died at the hands of Toruk. You saved my life, Neteyam. You carried me home and stayed with me while I was having surgery, you stayed with me after, while I recovered. You pulled me out of the worst panic attack I have ever had when I found my dad, and you rode out so many of my flashbacks, I have lost count. You weren’t the cause or the common denominator of these events, I was. I am the one plagued by misfortune and hurt and death. Not you. And if you tell me you had to leave to save your own peace of mind, I would respect that. I don’t know anyone in this world who can take this, take me and all the shit that follows me everywhere I go. I don’t blame you.

But if you tell me that you did this for me, that I can’t accept. I didn’t ask for any of this. You gave me no choice, and no say in this relationship, in our shared life. You just left. I deserved better than that. And I deserved better than to find out about a mate after months of lies and manipulation and deceit. I don’t care. I don’t care if you are going to say that you didn’t want it, or you were going to undo it, or that you’ve always loved me and never her. I don’t care. You lied to me, you manipulated me. You accused me of fucking your brother as you were promised to another woman that you hid from me for months. I do blame you for that, and I will never be able to forgive you.”

“Please, Atan…I will tell her no. I will tell her -.” he was sobbing now, his hands still on your face, pleading.

“No.” you slowly took his hands in yours and removed them from your face.

“I think you should do it, Neteyam. She is a good girl, she will make a good Tsahik, and a good mate. Your mother was right, there is no future here - there never was. I love you, so much. But I think you have broken my heart one too many times. I am done.”

You turned your back and walked away from him and the life that was lost - forever.

You were completely soaked when you arrived in the lab, and you went straight to the Avatar laying room and cried. Cried until it felt like no more tears could possibly come out of you. You cried yourself to sleep and then cried in the pod, on the way to your bedroom, and in bed until your human body eventually collapsed from exhaustion. You cried in your dreams, in which Neteyam was kissing you and touching you, doing all the things you were silently begging him to in your mind just a few hours ago.

Eventually, nightfall came, and you had to get up to do the rest of your experiments and top up your analgesic. Ironically enough, you were making real progress on your work. You found a combination therapy that was showing incredible potential in slowing the virus down. It wasn’t enough to stop and eradicate it, but it was enough to give people more time and hopefully give the scientists more time to find a cure. It wouldn’t help you, but maybe you could still help others.

At some paint through the night, as you were making up some reagents, Norm bursts through the door holding a bunch of equipment and some pills, you realise. He puts them down on the bench behind you and speaks.

“Right, stop whatever you are doing, right now.”

“I am in the middle of something.”

“I don’t fucking care. Stop, now.”

You were taken aback at his words and attitude. Norm never got mad, or lost his composure. He was so most well balanced person you knew.

You put the pipette gun down and turned around to face him.

“I still need to adjust the pH on this.”

He ignored you while he prepared the myriad of little gadgets he brought with him. He motioned for you to take off your lab coat, and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but did as you were told regardless. You were too tired to argue anymore.

He raised the sleeves of your top until they couldn’t go any further up your arm and put a blood pressure monitor on you. You felt tension as its sleeve tightened around you painfully, but eventually it gave out with a puff, and you heard beeping as the machine finished its reading. You looked to your right where the monitor lay, and saw red lights flashing, letting Norm know your blood pressure and pulse were dangerously low. His eyes widened slightly at the sight, but he held his composure, removing the gadget from around your arm and putting it away. He then read your oxygen levels, which you saw were constantly dabbling between 89 and 90%. Not good, you thought. No wonder you could barely breathe anymore. Norm cursed silently under his breath, trying to not let you see him, but if there was one thing you were good at, it’s reading people. Well, you thought you were, at least.

“Did you do any tests on your blood? How is your complete blood count looking?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why the fuck not, Ace? It’s not like you don’t know how to do it.”

He was angry, really angry. You’ve never seen Norm this angry, you’ve never seen Norm acting this way towards you.

You just shrugged. With a huff of annoyance, he took your arm and prepared a needle and syringe to collect some blood. He gulped and you could see tears forming in his eyes when he looked at the violet bruises and needle holes that were plastered along the length of your brachial vein.

“Just didn’t get around to it.”

“You didn’t - Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“What medicine have you been taking? Did you take the Relenta, or the combination therapy we have been working on?”

“Neither.”

You swear you saw Norm’s entire body enter a catatonic state and he turned so red you were worried he was going to release steam out of his ears.

“You have been sick for a month and did not take anything, none of the treatments we have been working on?”

You couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, finding comfort in the pattern of the tiles on the floor.

“I can’t believe you. I didn’t peg you for someone who would just throw their life away meaninglessly. Your mum had to die because we didn’t have a way to treat her illness, and here we are, with a solution that YOU came up with for your own illness, and you will just not even try?”

You were quiet, not really having a way to rebut his questions.

“Fine. We will start you on the combination treatment tonight and take it from there. There’s other things we haven’t tried yet and I’m sure -“

“NO.”

“I’m not asking you. I’m not letting you fucking die.”

“Why must you always fucking try to fix everything, Norm? Some things can’t be fixed. I don’t want the fucking pills. I am done. I want this to be done.”

“So you’ll just die? Is that what you’re saying? You want to die, and not even fucking TRY to see if there is more to this life. Goddamn it, Y/N. I thought having the Avatar would help you realise life is worth living, there’s beauty in this world beyond the walls of this lab. You got your first kill, you did the Iknimaya, you’re going to become one of the people. Don’t you want to see what your future holds? Don’t you want to live to see yourself grow up? Fall in love, start a family. There are more guys in this world than just Neteyam.”

You gave Norm a dirty look and got out of the lab.

Neteyam felt his whole body reel after your conversation. It didn’t change anything, he thought bitterly. He thought explaining it to you, allowing to see that he had good reasons for his actions would allow you to forgive him, to at least allow him the opportunity to make it up to you through time. You left, just like he had so long ago, but there was a finality to you that he didn’t feel then. Back then, he always had hope that a miracle would still be possible, one in which you got an Avatar, healed and loved him, forever. He wanted to love you forever, but his apology and explanations were not enough.

He lost you, again.

He spent the night flying on his Ikran, just flying and letting the rain soak his thoughts and hurt away. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted the rain to melt his bones until there was nothing left of him but the memory of happier times.

In the early hours of the morning, he made it back to the village, trying to hide his cried out eyes and calamitous grief. He was dreading having to talk to his parents, to explain to them what happened, to have to go through with Tiongli and this future he didn’t want and will have to suffer through for the rest of his life. He didn’t have time to worry about it too much though, because, as he managed to get to the tent’s entrance, he heard Norm’s voice and his dad’s, intertwined with his grandma’s voice rising above them.

“It won’t work. Eywa will not allow her to come back.”

“Why not? She has taken her Iknimaya, she has completed her kills, she has spent her entire life in the village’s service, trying to help the best way she knew how. If she doesn’t deserve this, who does?”

“It’s not that she doesn’t deserve it. It’s that she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want this, Norm. The Great Mother will not transfer the conscience of someone with no future.”

“But maybe if this happened, she will realise that she wants to live. Once she’s rid herself of her weak body, of this disease, maybe she will -“

“The Great Mother’s word is final. She will die, because she wants to die.”

Mo’at’s voice rang in his ears so hard he thought his eardrums would pop.

She doesn’t want it.

She will die.

What were they talking about? Who would die?

No… it couldn’t be. No, the Great Mother wouldn’t be so cruel.

He didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation, running as fast as his feet could carry him back to the lab. He reached soon enough, he was faster than most other people in the village, and started knocking on the door of the lab with all his might.

“Y/N, OPEN UP, I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!”

Eventually, Max came to the door, through which Neteyam burst without consideration for the tiny human next to him.

“She’s not in, Neteyam. She left before any of us had a chance to say anything.”

“Was she in her Avatar body?”

“No, the body is in the den where they sleep.”

He didn’t bother thanking the man, as he turned on his heel and started running again. She was there, had to be.

It was still raining, the clouds relentless as they released drops that poured gently down his face and body, and Neteyam thought the Great mother was crying, mourning the love being washed away like a pebble in the river of the clearing, just like he was.

You were there, of course you were. A current shocked Neteyam at the sight of you. This was the first time he has seen your human body in months, and he found it hard to reconcile the image of you he has known all his life with this current one. You were incredibly thin, so thin, whereas a few months ago he could trace your muscles, he could now trace your bones. You were pale, almost ashen, and the hair that he once spent so long admiring was now brittle and dull, obvious even as it was, wet and clinging to your back. You looked lifeless. He felt a lump form in his throat and tears pool in his eyes that were still not dry from all the pain this day has brought.

You didn’t notice him yet, your human ears much less sensitive than your Avatar, so you were just sitting on the riverbank with your chin resting on your knees, which were brought to your chest and your arms wrapped tightly around them. You were looking at the water, and it was like you weren’t actually there. You were in your own world, far from here, from this hurt.

“I was going to ask if it was true, what I heard Norm talk about in the tent today, but I think you’ve answered my question.”

Neteyam saw you flinch, and it felt like even that brought your weak frame pain. You were trembling when you looked at him, and your face made his own drop in shock. Your beautiful features, the blush in your cheeks, the glimmer in your eye, the pink of your lips, your animated expressions or raised eyebrows, were all gone. Your eyes looked glossed over and numb, your face looked ghostly and sunken, and Neteyam swore he could trace every blood vessel on your forehead and neck. The sight of you made whatever happiness or hope he had left dissolve and trickle down his bones, until it reached the ground where it was eventually buried, never to be seen again.

“I didn’t think I could make myself any clearer, Neteyam.”

“tell me it isn’t true. Tell me he’s lying; he’s making it up.”

“What part?”

“All of it.” Neteyam was angry now, trying to contain the temper rising in his chest.

“Tell me you’re not dying.”

“Norm has a big fucking mouth.”

“Can you for once in your fucking life just answer a question? This is fucking serious!”

You winced at his words, then struggled to get up, but did eventually and fully face him. The state of you hit him like bullets, piercing and scraping at his every organ, leaving bleeding wounds behind.

“It’s true”.

Crack, crack, crack. 

“When?”

“The night you gave me the guitar. I was so busy being in love with you I forgot to put the proper protection on, and I smashed a bottle of infected blood. It got in my mouth, in my nose.”

“I thought you were working on a cure.”

“Haven’t found it yet.”

“But you said you have something that kind of works, something to give people more time.”

“I’m human, it doesn’t work that way for us.”

“So, you’ve tried.”

You weren’t looking at him anymore, just staring at the ground in front of you, somewhere next to Neteyam’s feet.

“Tell me you have fucking tried.”

It thundered aggressively as Neteyam said that, and he saw you once again tremble at the loud sound. You have never been a jumpy person. You were the bravest person he knew. You were the strongest person he knew. It was unspeakable having to watch you now, sitting meekly in front of him, when just a few days ago you took the Iknimaya, taking the climb to the toughest tests known to the Omatikaya, doing it like it was nothing, just another day for you. To know that this is what was hiding underneath, this is what you hid from all of them, made him both impossibly miserable and strikingly enraged at the same time.

“TELL ME YOU HAVE TRIED.”

“NO, OKAY?? NO, I HAVEN’T FUCKING TRIED.” You were sobbing now, your tears washed away by the rain and wind as soon as they fell down your cheeks.

“Why?”

“Because I am tired. I want this to end.”

“I thought you were happy. I thought you were better. You seemed better in the Avatar.”

“I was better… in the Avatar. Because that wasn’t my life. That was just a beautiful dream, while my life was the never-ending nightmare. It was easy to pretend in that body. It was easy to be the version of myself everybody wanted me to be. But I have to live with the real me every night. And I don’t want to do it anymore.” The more you cried, the more Neteyam’s blood boiled in his veins.

“That’s such fucking bullshit.”

“You know what I think?”

“I think dying is fucking easy. It’s your easy way out.”

You looked up at his much larger frame incredulously, and he saw how your mood was starting to mirror his own.

“What did you just say? You think this is fucking easy for me?”

“Yes, I think it is. I think all you’ve done since your mum has died is take the easy way out. Put everything and everyone in your little bottom desk drawer, keeping everyone at a distance. Do you know how much mother and father suffered every time you refused to come out, to come to the village? My mother cried herself to sleep at the thought of you alone in that lab, at the thought that you preferred that soulless, empty place to her, to us. Did you know that?

You have not once opened that drawer, not once dealt with anything. All you do is numb yourself down, pretend you are fine and the issues you have suffered through do not exist. Well guess fucking what, Atan? They exist. And until you deal with that pain and let it pass over you and through you, you will always take the easy way out.

You have made me feel like the worst person in the world, for leaving, for lying to you. But what the fuck have you done, huh? You lied to me about dying, for weeks! About dying! What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you? You said I took your choice away. You wouldn’t have even given me a choice to say goodbye to the love of my life before you fucking died!

I left you for a year because I wanted to protect you, you are leaving permanently because you refuse to fuck deal with the pain and hurt I know you feel deep down inside. You had a choice. You could have come to the many people who love you, love you unconditionally, and told us, and let us in, and let us help you. You could have gotten help, taken the pills, fight your damn hardest to make this work, to find a cure, for the life your mum gave you, the life she would have to watch you throw away. You have a choice now. To want to live, to want to fight through this and come out the other side a new, better person. To let me love you, let people love you. To do the consciousness transfer and be with me, and be happy, forever. And you’re choosing this.

You are a coward.”

Neteyam turned on his heel and walked away, before he got a chance to see you collapse on the ground, giving your last few breaths in the place he used to imagine both of your children laying in his arms peacefully while you sang them to sleep.

Tag list (I hope I didn't miss anyone, thank you so much for asking to be tagged &lt;3): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties