HUSK 🤣

😭💙

“The way I feel about you, is the how you feel about her.”

Avatar : the way of water

Pairing: Neteyam x Reader

One shot: Y/n has been in love with Neteyam her whole life. He was her mighty warrior. You’re both 19 and expected to pick a mate. Despite being right in front of him, Neteyam’s eyes have always been drawn to a different girl in the village.this is based of a song I heard today “her” by Sophia Scott. Please listen while you read.I’ll let you know when to start playing it.

Themes: sad, angst, unrequited love, jealously

You and Neteyam were flying your Ikrans, it was almost eclipse and you wanted to go on one last ride for the day.

“Come on Nete! We’re almost there!” You yell glancing over your shoulder.

There he was your mighty warrior flying right behind you.

“Slow down! Y/n! You’re going to crash” he laughed at you, with your adventurous spirit he didn’t understand why you were so close to him. Lo’ak would probably be a better fit to satisfy your need for adrenaline.

What Neteyam didn’t know is when you were close to him your adrenaline felt as if you had dived off a mountain. You had loved him all your life. You first met when you were kids.

...

You were climbing a tree and claimed it as yours. One day Lo’ak, Kiri and Spider had stumbled across the same tree. You were high up playing by yourself.

“Hey! That’s our tree get down!” Lo’ak yelled

Your head snapped down to the two Na’vi and a human? You had seen humans before but never this close. Your mother didn’t like you around them. You slowly started to make your way but not all the way just enough to talk without yelling.

“This is my tree! You go away!” You furrowed your brows, you knew he was Lo’ak the youngest son of the Olo’eyktan. But that didn’t mean you were going to give up your tree.

“Please? We really like this tree. We found it yesterday.” Kiri spoke not wanting to fight.

“Kiri! Shh! This has always been our tree.” Lo’ak whispered. You narrowed your eyes, you didn’t like liars.

“Well this has been my tree for 1 week now. So it is mine.” You stuck your tongue out. You sat down on a low branch. Swinging your legs, your tail flicking side to side, a little nervous.

Quickly Lo’ak jumped up and grabbed you by your tail. Making you fall backward off the tree, and you fell to the ground hard. You winced.

“Lo’ak!” you heard an unfamiliar voice, it wasn't one of the adults which was good.

You didn't turn to even look at the voice and you tackled Lo’ak. You both rolled around but you ended up on top pinning him down, you were older so just a little bit bigger than him.

“That was mean!” your eyes brimmed with tears. Lo’ak eyes widened, he didn't want to make you cry. He felt bad. Before he could say anything you were being picked up gently. You tried to turn but the strong arms around you kept you still.

“What is going on here?” your ears flattened back, a boy was holding you. You have never been held by a boy. A blush coated your cheeks.

“Lo’ak wanted this tree and she didn't want to move” Kiri was annoyed, she knew Neteyam was going to give them a speech. He was only 8 yet had the moral compass of a saint.

The strong arms put you down and turned you around to face them. It was the first time your heart ever stopped for Neteyam and it wasn't the last. He was beautiful.

“Are you okay? I'm Neteyam. Sorry about my brother.” He smiles at you and your knees went weak.

“Woah. Do you need to see Tsahik?” he helped you stand up again.

“N-no, I'm okay. Thank you.” you couldn't look into his eyes. He nodded and let you go. At that moment, you wanted to collapse so he would hold you again.

“Lo’ak, if you apologize I won’t tell mother and father.” He put his hands on his hips, while he addressed his brother with a serious tone. Kiri and Spider chuckled, Neteyam always so serious.

Your eyes widened. At that moment you fell in love for the first time. This Neteyam, he stood up for you, held you, and was very beautiful. Your 8-year-old heart decided that one day. He would be your mate.

“I’m sorry.” Lo’ak looked at you, “we can share the tree?” He offered as a peace offering.

A grin broke out on your face.

“Yes! Let's play. You too.” you reached for Neteyam’s hand and lead him to the tree. You weren't letting him go.

...

You felt Neteyam’s Ikran land next to yours. You sat down on the ledge of the mountain. You always loved high places. He saw down close next to you, thighs brushing together.

“We’re getting too old to sneak off Y/n.” Neteyam chuckled. You immediately frowned. You hated being reminded of your age. 19. You were both over due to pick a mate. Especially him.

He was the future Olo’eyktan, he should’ve picked his mate by now. You of course hadn’t picked because well, you wanted him. It wasn’t fair to mate with anyone else when your heart completely belonged to Neteyam.

“Ah, why the frown.” Neteyam bumped your shoulder. You forced a smile back on your face.

“Ah you know I hate the idea of growing up.” you shook your head.

“I know, I know. I'm sorry.” Neteyam didn't understand why it upset you so much. You were at the best part of your adulthood, both one of the people, warriors, and you could pick a mate. 

“I just don't want us to grow apart.” you ducked your head down, to hide your eyes from him. Sometimes you were scared he would see how you truly felt about him.

“Oh Y/n” he turned and hugged you.

You buried your head in his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him. You loved when he held you. It didn't often happen now that you were older. It was crazy to feel the difference; when you were younger, he was smaller and skinny. Now he was way taller and muscular. In the moments he did hold you, you wished you could stay like this forever.

“You will ways be my best friend.” You placed your forehead on his shoulder. Ouch. You hated it. Hated the idea of just being a friend. But you’d would rather be a best friend than lose him all together. When the time came and he chose a mate, you probably wouldn’t be able to share moments like this anymore.

“Thank you, Neteyam.” He pulled away from you and you missed his warmth.

“Can I ask you something?” He had a serious expression on his face.

You shifted uncomfortably. You tried to make your heart settle. Every time he got serious you wished it was him about to confess his love for you. You knew though. He was never going to.

“Yes, anything Neteyam.” you smiled

“Ah...” he looked away, blushing. You tilted your heart at him. “I just figured since, y-you're a girl.”

“Yes. Yes, Neteyam, I am a girl.” you chuckled nervously. What was this about?

“How do you think a girl would want to be asked to be my mate?”

Your heart sunk to the deepest part of pandora’s forest. You swear you could hear the crack appearing on your heart.

“W-what?” your voice was soft. It couldn't be, he wasn't talking about-

“Neriaya.” you slowly looked away from him, “you know how I feel about her, and I think she may feel the same.”

You took a deep breath, tears emerged their way into your eyes and forced them back. You wouldn't cry in front of him. Neriaya. Of course. You knew already. How could you not? You watched everything Neteyam did. You didn't fail to notice his blush when Neriaya spoke to him, how he would stand a little straighter when she passed him, how he would stare.

He had always had his eye on her and you had your eye on him. You hoped that as you got older he would notice you. Maybe you could change his mind and start to fall in love with you instead . Looks like your time had run out.

“Neteyam, any girl would love to be your mate. Whatever you choose to do, she will love.” You stood up. You wouldn’t torture yourself like this. There was no way you were helping him plan this. You couldn’t.

“I was hopping maybe you could help me though?” You dared to look at him, hoping your mask wouldn’t falter. His eyes were hopeful and excited. No. You couldn’t do this.

“I’m not very romantic. Ask Kiri. Let’s go. It’s almost dark.” You jumped on your Ikran, waiting for him to mount his before you took off. You flew fast ahead of him, tears escaping, the wind cleaning them off your cheeks for you.

Neteyam was a bit confused. But he figured you were just worried about getting in trouble, this would’ve been your third strike with your mom. He laughed at the thought.

…

The next couple weeks, 2 and a half to be exact, not that you were counting. You distanced yourself from Neteyam. Now that he expressed his plans to ask Neriaya to be his mate, it was too painful. You didn't want to hear or even think about it. Being away from him was the only way. Yesterday you caught the two of them talking quietly after dinner. The way he looked at her made you crumble. You walked to your hut, thank Ewya your mom wasn't there. Because you collapsed to the floor and cried. You cried for the 8-year-old girl, who you promised that he would be your mate. You also cried for yourself. The 19-year-old girl who was in love with Neteyam.

Neteyam didn't understand why you had been so distant. He was kind of upset honestly. You were his best friend, he had confessed his intentions with Neriaya. Why weren't you excited for him and helping him? Honestly you avoiding him upset him to his core. He felt off the past week's without you by his side. There even a moment where you pasted right behind him. Without even a glance. He just shook his head. What was wrong?

He knew once he mated with Neriaya, he wasn't going to be able to spend much time with you. The thought of not seeing you every day hurt him, he hated how it made him feel. But he would have Neriaya. His parents always talked about her to him. How pretty she was, a good hunter, and how she could be a good Tsahik. To Neteyam, he knew if chose Neriaya, his parents would be proud and happy. He from then on he pictured Neriaya as his mate.

She was everything his parents said she was. Neteyam could tell Neriaya would be shy when he talked to her. She was nice and easy to talk to, Neteyam wasn’t necessarily eager to mate, he brushed it off when he turned 18 but when he heard his parents talking about the fact that he hadn't chosen a mate. He knew he has no choice but to do it now.

Today, he had finally had enough of your ignoring game. He started looking everywhere for you and he eventually found you with Kiri doing her hair.

“Hello.” Kiri smiled at his greeting her brother. Neteyam watched you carefully as you looked up from Kiri’s hair to him. You had a look on your face he couldn't decipher it, it made he angry. He knew you better than everyone else. What was wrong?

When you looked at him it was a mix of emotions. Happy to see his face, sad to know you were losing him, and jealous that someone else gets the privileget love him.

“Neteyam,” you spoke quickly and went back to the braids. Kiri raised an eyebrow and knew this wasn’t going to end well. Y/n didn’t have to say but Kiri knew you were upset about Neteyam’s plans. Kiri didn’t understand how you didn’t tell Neteyam you loved him or how Neteyam didn’t notice.

“Y/n is doing my hair.” she quickly interject after the 15 seconds of silence.

“Uh y-yeah. Maybe you could do mine after?” his eyes shot to the floor.

Kiro rolled her eyes. Oh hell no. She thought breaks Y/n’s heart and can't even look her in the eye?

“She just started. It will take forever. Maybe ask Neriaya?” Kiri’s eyes were challenging. She wanted to push her brother. What would he do?

You sat there silently, not wanting to comment. Kiri even suggesting Neriaya doing Neteyam’s hair hurt. You used to do his hair.

“I can wait.” He searched your eyes, willing you to look at him and you did. Those orange eyes melting you.

“Yea.” you nodded, you would usually be happier but instead you held your composer. This didn't change anything between the two of.

It took you 30 minutes to do Kiri’s hair. You and Kiri just talked while Neteyam sat with his eyes closed against the wall. When you turned to look at him he was asleep.

“Well, so much for waiting” Kiri laughed before walking out of the hut.

You watched her retreating form and turned back to Neteyam. You knelt down beside him and looked at him. He looks so calm, his chest rising and falling. You brushed away the braid that fell on his face. You chuckled, he really did need his hair done. You sighed and got up.

You felt a hand snap onto your wrist. You jumped and looked down. Neteyam was looking at you through sleepy eyes.

“Ah, I'm sorry. I dozed off but I'm ready.” he's sat up quickly and started to undo the beads.

You knelt down slowly. His back to you.

“Okay, lay back when you're ready.” you twirled your own braid around your finger. (Play song)

You noticed movement and Neteyamms strong back was coming down toward you. His head hit your thighs and his eyes peered up at you. He was so handsome. You licked your lips nervously and started to get to work.

“Y/n..” Neteyam started but stopped. You didn't acknowledge it. Didn't ask for him to repeat himself. You didn't want to talk. You wanted to enjoy the feeling of him being yours. Or pretending he's yours.

Neteyam closed him eyes and took a deep breath. Your fingers felt great, but he couldn't shake the weight on his chest. He hated this tension. Usually when you did his hair it was non stop laughing, you slapping him to stay still. He missed it. He missed you. He opened his mouth again.

“Kiri talked my ear off, I'll let you know when I'm done.” you said quietly not giving him a chance to speak.

He gave you a tight smile and closed his eyes again.

...

“Done.” you finally spoke after almost an hour. His hair was longer than Kiri’s. He didn't respond. He's asleep again. You shook his shoulder gently.

“Neteyam?”

His eyes fluttered open and a small smile started to form. He looked at you, you looked so pretty.

“Hi.” he then remembered he was in your lap and that you did his hair. He sat up quickly and stood up. You looked up at him with furrowed brows. Okay...

He blushed. Why did he do that? You had braided his hair thousands of times. He never felt nervous. It was probably the tension between the two of you. He was fixing that today.

“Y/n. I want to talk.” he sighed.

“Neteyam-” you huffed ready to shut him down.

“Not here. Come on” he grabbed your hand and led you towards the ikran. You whipped your hand away.

“Neteyam!” you whisper yelled. It was late in the afternoon. Na’vi roaming everywhere getting ready for dinner. What if Neriaya saw them holding hands?

“What? Come on.” Neteyam kept moving. You felt people looking at you, so you followed him. Not wanting to cause a scene.

...

You landed your ikran next to Neteyam’s, you were fuming. How dare he. How dare you push this conversation on you.

“What is wrong with you?!” you yelled at him as soon as your feet hit the ground marching toward him.

“Me? What's wrong with you!” he yelled back. He was frustrated. This wasn't him.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell.” he immediately felt bad. He never yelled at you.

“I didn't want to talk right now! Why are you doing this? You have other things to worry about right now.” your voice softened at every sentence. No longer mad. Just sad and frustrated. You were tired of hurting.

He walked forward and grabbed your hands. Bending his neck down a little to look you in the eyes, his hair brushing your wrists.

“Y/n right now I need you more than ever. You're my best friend. I need your support right now.”

A confused expression passed along your face that turned into exhaustion, eyebrows bunching together.

“Neteyam. I-I’m sorry but I can't be there for you with this.” you tried to yank your hands away but his grip held you.

He shook his head side to side, mouth dropping open a little.

“Y/n, everything was fine between us. What happened? I feel like you're keeping your distance, like you don't want to be around me. You're my best friend.” His voice dropped low, he swallowed hard getting emotional.

You couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't hear the word best friend again. Your knees buckled. Neteyam caught you, lowering to his knees as well. His eyes widened.

“Neteyam please.” your voice cracked, and your head was low. Shielding your face from him.

“Please don't ask this of me. You cannot ask for this.” the weight of carrying all these feelings was finally crazking your chest. Just spilling all out.

He pulled you to his chest when you started crying but you used your arms to create distance. Your hands pushing against his shoulders.

“Y/n talk to me.” you couldn't help him? You couldn't be there for him with his mate?

“I can't do this anymore Nete.” his heart broke hearing his nick name. He missed it.

“I can't help you, or be around you or even go to the ceremony.” tears spilled over your cheeks. He tried to force your head up but you shook him off and continued. He was lost.

“I- I wish that I could've told you how I felt and if only you knew how it breaks my heart breaks my heart to know you love Neriaya.” you looked up at him finally. His eyes were cloudy with tears as well. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did this mean you?

“Y/n are you saying?” his voice was shaky. He felt his entire world flip upside down. “Y/n-”

You cut him off.

“So no. No Neteyam. I cannot be there for you. Because the way that I feel about you. Is how you feel about her.” you wiped tears from your face and stood up.

He stood up with you, his hands still attached to your forearms.

“I -Y/n... This is.. I don't-” He stuttered. He was so thrown off. You? You loved him?

“You don't have to say anything. You are going to be mated to Neriaya. That's okay. I want you to be happy. But I won't do it Neteyam. I won't break what is left of my heart for you.” you were numb. You felt as if you had poured all the emotion you had left out to him.

“Why didn't you ever..why didn't you tell me?” Neteyam couldn't stop staring at you. He always thought you were beautiful but did he see you as his mate? Did he have feelings for you? The same way he felt about Neriaya? Did he even love Neriaya?

Because how he felt in this moment. This is what he would describe heartbreak to be. Your tear-stained face. Puffy eyes. The weight of your words. He was losing you. He was losing his best friend. He was losing you forever.

“Neteyam, you've always looked at Neriaya. Always drawn to her. I knew I compete and I thought being your best friend would be enough but it's not.” your tone was flat. It scared him, some emotion was better than none. He hated this. He hated that he made you feel this way.

“Y/n, please let's talk about this.” he was desperate. He didn't know if he truly had feelings for you but he knew he didn't want to lose you. He wanted you as close as possible at the moment. He didn't want you to walk away. Not from him.

He didn't think. He just pulled you to his arms.

You went from zero emotion to one hundred emotions to only one. Anger.

“Enough!” you yelled. “Enough! Enough!” you pounded on his chest forcing him to let you go.

“Neteyam enough. No more games. There is no saving this. There is no fixing this. There is no us!“

He let you go and you instantly put distance between the two of you stepping back.

“Y/n please. Yes, we can. We can fix this.” He held his arms out as he talked.

“Do you have feelings for me?” your voice wasn't above a whisper. But somehow he heard you. He just stared at you.

“Well?” you raised an eyebrow. You really like to torture yourself.

“I-I don't know.” his arms dropped to his sides.

“Neteyam.” you took a step towards him. A small one but enough for you to be able to see those beautiful eyes.

“I see you. I love you. And because of that I can't do the best friend thing with you. Enough. Please” and with that, you turned around and jumped on your ikran. Just like that day a couple of weeks ago. You wiped the tears from your eyes except this time It was a lot more painful.

Neteyam collapsed to his knees. Head in his hands. He had lost you. He started to cry. How was he going to fix this? He knew he needed you. He needed you to survive. But did he have feelings for you?

....

Sorry! Don’t hate me! I just was so inspired by this song. Should I make a part two? I'm also working on 2 other requests so to the people who requested them, they are in the works don't worry.

I'm cackling 😂😂

🏴‍☠️️ au ที่น้องคัตขอน้องเดแต่งงานแบบวิล:

Strawberry Wine

Uggghhh was listening to Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter and yalls Cowboy!AU Bakugou Katsuki has got my mind in a foooooooog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just imagining visiting your grandfather for the summer and there's a new helping hand around the farm. A young man about the same age as you, it's also a bonus he's very attractive.

He does all the hard labor your grandfather has gotten a little too old do be doing. The sun beating down on him and making his blonde hair seem like a halo on his head, the golden evening rays making his eyes shine like the brightest ruby.

According to your grandfather he was helping out just for this summer since he was on break from college and wanted to get back to his hometown roots on a nearby farm.

Of course you were caught in a slump, eyes following him everywhere making you clumsy and messing up your own chores making him having to pick up the slack. Okay, maybe it was on purpose so he would be near you and talking to you.

Eventually catching his eye one day while riding a horse and being able to catch a wild hog that had ended up on the farm.

Both of you sneaking around corners and haylofts just for a moment together, before your grandfather came calling.

Him sneaking you out to his truck and just tearing down dirt roads underneath the warm summer moon. Talking about everything and nothing, dreams and goals.

Sharing tender moments and light touches by the pond where he dropped the tough guy act and you both showed your true colors.

Of course nothing can stay the same, as September came calling and he had to leave. The teenage promise to keep in touch and that you'd visit. Him promising he'll see you next summer and that he'd wait if you would.

A few cards, letters and one long distance call over the course of a year you both slowly got preoccupied with other things but never forgot the genuine connection you both had.

Every summer you still go back to see your grandfather, the fields overgrown now as he's gotten too old to maintain it alone but you do your best to help him out.

5 years have passed since you've seen the blonde, eyes always searching for him during the Summer with no luck yet.

Visiting the pond where you both truly bonded, first kiss and first love. A love that still remains sweet in your memory like the Strawberry Wine you had shared together that night.

"Hey there Princess,"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone pull my cavity it's too sweet ☺️☺️

I choked on my food 🤣🤣

Fire of Souls

Enemies to Lovers

Tsu'tey x reader (younger sister of Jake Sully)

Anything written in italics is spoken in Na'vi

“Keep up!” Jake snaps at me as he holds a large leaf back. “Neytiri hates having to wait.” I pass by the leaf and roll my eyes. 

“I saw that.” His tail flicks with annoyance. 

“You were supposed to,” I retort back with a smile. He shakes his head and keeps leading me towards Hometree. Jake has been selected by the Omatikaya to learn their ways. Which is what Tom and I had trained for, before he died. So now I’m on Pandora with Jake, the most overprotective and annoying older brother, ever. 

 As if reading my thoughts, he turns back and raises his eyebrows at me. “What?”

“Nothing.” I shrug innocently. “I just can’t believe they chose you.” 

“Yea well, join the club. I think Norm is the president of it.” He flicks his braid behind him and picks up his pace. I laugh before almost stumbling over a thick root. I’m still getting used to my avatar body and my large boots only make it harder. 

“You know, it’d be easier if you ditched the Earth clothes,” Jake says without turning around. I’m about to sass him when I snap my mouth shut. Jake worked hard to convince Neytiri to consider training me; I owe him one. 

We move quickly, Jake making his way easily through the terrain as I stagger behind him. Pandora’s forest glistens above me. Animal’s I’d only ever studied, jump from branch to branch, making foreign sounds. Flowers that glow and twirl, sprout from around my feet. I want to sit and take samples, Grace would love that. But Jake wouldn’t stop, not for that.

“And,” Jake begins, breaking the silence that had settled between us,“please be respectful. Respect is big to the Omatikaya.” 

Seriously? It’s like Jake forgets that I’m that one who actually trained to come to Pandora. I raise my hands up in a sarcastic surrender. “I’ll be so respectful. I learned from you, big bro.” 

Jake narrows his eyes. “Don’t be a smartass.” 

“Well, I am the smart one.”

Jake scoffs. A colorful prolemuris chitters innocently as it hangs from a nearby branch. I raise an eyebrow at my brother. He opens his mouth to say something when a blue figure falls elegantly through the trees. 

I recognize Neytiri instantly as she lands in a crouch, her eyes wide. I freeze, full of shock that she just jumped from so high. Jake smirks at the surprised look on my face. I suppress the urge to stick my tongue out at him. Neytiri slowly stands and takes a step towards me. Her eyes rake over my body, taking in my five fingers, long hair, and eyebrows. She takes another step closer and sniffs before grimacing slightly as if I smell. I pull my arms closer to my sides. 

“One smartass is enough,” she mumbles as she inspects my sky people clothes. She walks behind me and flicks my tail. 

I jump before turning to her. “Trust me, I am actually worth it.” 

Neytiri’s eyes shoot to my face, making eye contact with me for the first time. I smile at her, trying my best to seem friendly, which is not my strong suit. She tilts her head to the side. “You speak Na’vi?”

“Yes, I studied it before coming here.” 

“So you are not a warrior, like Jake?”

Jake tenses at the recognition of his name. “Hey, English please?”

Neytiri doesn’t react to his plea, her stony eyes remain on me. Jake looks at me, his ears laying irritatedly against his head.  

I could lie to Neytiri, tell her that I’ve never been a warrior and never had any training, that I am simply a scientist. But my insides twist at the thought. Something in the way Neytiri is studying me, I know if I lie, she’d see right through me. 

“I was a warrior,” I say, the words bitter in my mouth, “But now I’m a scientist.” 

The sudden silence is deafening, it’s like the forest is holding its breath, waiting for Neytiri’s response. She continues to stare, her thoughtful yellow eyes lingering on my chest, as if she sees my anxious breath. Then, she straightens herself and looks at Jake. “I will teach your sister and you.” 

His shoulders relax. “Thank you.” 

“Thank you,” I repeat. 

She raises her head. “Come.” 

~~~

Na’vi clothes are not clothes. They’re thongs and bras trapezing around as if they are clothes. I stare in a dusty mirror, my blue body with hardly any covering stares back. I groan.

Neytiri had walked me through some side entrance of Hometree, claiming that my sky people clothes would not be welcome here. We’d walked up an outerspiral of the tree. Small fires lit the way as we ran on the smooth bark until we came to a miniature alcove. She’d given me some loincloths before ordering me to change and leaving. 

Now, I try again to arrange the cloths over my parts. I yank at the string covering my butt. The material flaps uselessly before falling down again, covering nothing. What I’d do for some shorts…  

Neytiri rounds the corner as I have one finger up my ass trying to shove the material further over. 

“Argh!” She exclaims as she rushes over and swats my hand away. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t think these clothes fit.” 

Neytiri’s eyes go flat and she looks at me like I’m an idiot. “They fit.” 

I’m about to protest when she pushes me out of the alcove. I stumble slightly, before my bare feet find their balance on the downward spiral. Hometree is massive, the inner spirals are a confusing maze, one that intrigues me. The inner layout isn’t in any textbook. I would be more than ecstatic if I didn’t feel so naked. Neytiri walks in front of me. Her shoulders are loose but I can sense her peeking at me from the corner of her eye. 

“The clan is gathered for dinner. Jake is already there,” Neytiri explains as we reach the ground level of Hometree. The entire floor is covered with Omatikaya, warriors, healers, and families. Young children run past us, their tails flying behind them as they call after each other. The roar of conversation fills the space as people settle on the ground to eat.  

Neytiri keeps walking, accustomed to the beauty of her clan. I follow her, taking in every detail of my surroundings. The beaded headwear certain men wear, a game with marbles that children are playing, and the soft beat of drums. Clan members stare openly at me. Some of them are curious, their ears perked up; but most of them glare at me. 

“Demon,” a man hisses as I pass. I jolt at the fierceness of his voice. Neytiri grabs my shoulder and forces me forward before I have a chance to respond.

Jake sits criss crossed with his back against the far wall, a small distance away from any other clan members. His face brightens when he sees us. The closer we get, he begins to grin. Once we’re right in front of him, his head hits the back of the tree as he lets out a laugh. 

“Don’t say a single word,” I spit at him. He’s not gonna be able to help himself, he’s just going to have to make fun of—

“God, that’s worse than your bikini’s on Earth,” he manages to say between spurts of laughter. Neytiri looks cluelessly at us. 

“I will kill you,” I say calmly. 

Neytiri’s head cocks to the side as if that thought intrigued her. Jake stops laughing and puts his hands up in fake surrender. I roll my eyes and sit down beside him. 

“Wait for the clan to get their food, then you may have some,” Neytiri states before turning and working her way through the crowd. 

Jake and I don’t talk in her absence. Our relationship is used to silence. There was a time, when we both trained for the Marines, where we talked about deeper things. Then everything happened, and I had to leave, and Jake and I grew apart. I try not to think about that year. If I ignore it long enough, it’ll be like it never even happened. 

When I left the army, I joined Tom for avatar training and prepared to leave for Pandora. Seeing Jake in Tom’s avatar is like a knife being constantly twisted into my gut, digging deeper and deeper. I take a deep breath. I don’t want to think about Tom or life back on Earth; I came to Pandora to get away from it all. 

A large fire burns in the middle of the floor where Na’vi fill their plates. Laughter and conversation infuses the space, giving it a pleasant ambience. Growing up here, having a community like this, must be so nice. They don’t even know how good they have it. If only we humans could understand. Neytiri appears in the crowd and works her way over to us, three plates balancing in her hand. 

Jake’s eyebrows raise. “Think she brought us some?”

My stomach growls. I didn’t even know my avatar could do that. “I hope so.” 

Neytiri stops in front of us, an annoyed expression on her face. I’m starting to think that’s just how she always looks. “I brought your dinner. Best you stay further away from the clan.”

“Right,” Jake says as he reaches for the plate, “thank you.” 

I take my plate from her, “thanks.” 

Neytiri settles in across from us, her eyes lingering on her clan members. She’s probably wishing she could eat with them instead of us. I push the thought away and dig into my food. It’s some kind of meat, probably sturmbeest, and a selection of sweet fruit. I take a bite and instantly melt, flavors bursting on my tongue. “This is good.”

Neytiri ignores me and eats her own food. Jake nudges me with his shoulder, telling me he thinks it’s good too. I relax a little, suddenly grateful for him. 

“Neytiri,” he begins, “will we be hunting tomorrow?”

I chase a small piece of fruit around my plate, it sprays pink juice all over my fingers. 

“Yes,” Neytiri answers curtly. 

“You’ve brought another?” A foreign voice says. I snap my head up to find a Na’vi man standing before us. His muscular chest is covered in a beaded piece that crawls up his neck. He glares venomously at me, the hatred in his gaze sends chills down my spine. I narrow my eyes on him. I know who he is, I’ve seen his pictures in my textbooks. It’s Tsu’tey. 

Neytiri hisses. “Not now, Tsu’tey.” 

“They will never be one of us,” He says, his eyes boring into mine. He tilts his head slowly as he looks me over, he lingers on where my five fingers are stained with juice from the fruit. He chuckles and shakes his head incredulously. “Especially not the new one.” 

Heat rushes to my cheeks. I’m rarely embarrassed or offended by other people, but something about Tsu’tey sets me off. His words nestle under my skin. I open my mouth to snap at him when Jake places his hand on my forearm, as if he can feel the anger rising off of me.

‘Tsu’tey,” Jake mutters, “always a pleasure.”

Tsu’tey’s lip curls with distaste as he looks at Jake. His entire presence is dangerous and lethal, he doesn’t even need to speak. I rub the side of the loincloth. Neytiri rolls her eyes at him. “Go on.” 

“Don’t waste your time,” Tsu’tey whispers to Neytiri, just loud enough so I can hear, “that new one can’t even sit still in her clothing.” 

Neytiri giggles, making my blood boil. Tsu’tey looks smug as he leans back. My vision darkens. 

“I could sit still on your throat until you run out of breath,” I say with deadly calm. 

Neytiri gasps as shock registers on Tsu'tey’s face, his mouth dropping open. Clearly he didn’t think I spoke Na’vi. Pretentious asshole. Jake looks confused between us all. “What’s–”

“I could have your life for that,” Tsu’tey interrupts Jake, seethingly. His eyes look like they’ve been set on fire. They’re practically ablaze as he stares into me, his hands shaking furiously at his side. 

“Calm down, Tsu’tey,” Neytiri says before eyeing me cautiously, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “People are noticing…” 

Tsu’tey inhales sharply. Multiple clan members stare at us, alarm and curiosity coating their features. Tsu’tey steps back slowly, his eyes assessing the sudden attention were receiving. He sets his strong jaw, the movement highlights the high arch of his cheekbone. 

“I’ll be seeing you, alien,” he mutters through clenched teeth. I fight the urge to flick him off as he turns away. 

The clan members go back to their own conversations and my heart rate returns to normal. Jake blows out a breath of air. “What the hell was that?”

Tsu’tey’s blue backside glitters as he passes by the firelight. Multiple people greet him as he passes, he gives them each a tense and strained nod. He is a seriously stressed out guy…

“Your sister,” Neytiri begins, “she is interesting.” 

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Neytiri’s eyes are crinkled as she looks at me, like she’s seeing something in me that she hadn’t seen before. 

Jake laughs. “That’s one word for it.” 

I smack him playfully. Neytiri smiles at the gesture, now observing my brother and I. After a moment, she goes back to her food. Jake begins asking her about our training plans tomorrow.

Tsu’tey is now standing with a group of men on the other side of the fire, the light washes over his chiseled arms. They talk animatedly, smacking each other’s back and laughing. What are they talking about? I cock my head to the side, watching how Tsu’tey fixes his chest piece and listens to his friends. I wonder if he’s an asshole to them too or if that’s just reserved for special cases. 

He nods to one of his friends, his beaded hair flicks across his ears before he turns. His eyes lock with mine from across the fire. I flinch at the sudden contact. His eyes darken, making my stomach drop. I quickly look away and pretend to be a part of Jake and Neytiri’s conversation. I can feel the weight of his stare, it pierces me, like he’s tearing me apart with just his eyes. My breathing quickens and I try to focus on the conversation in front of me but I can’t process anything. Tsu’tey’s raging face keeps popping into my mind. 

After a few moments, I finally get myself under control. He’s just some asshole, I can’t be this bothered by some guy being rude. I risk glancing back to where he stood across the fire. He’s gone. I let out a relieved sigh, but something still curls in my stomach. That won’t be the last I see of Tsu’tey.

Part 2

Hi beautiful, thanks for reading!

I haven't seen anyone writing about Tsu'tey so hopefully someone wants to read this??? Idk, I just really love the idea of enemies to lovers and Jake being like bro what

I want to make this into multiple parts and make it a slow burn with tension and everything. Would anyone want that?

I'll still be doing other submissions as well <3

I DO NOT NEED THIS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE GOD DAMNIT 😭😭💔💔

Illicit Affairs | Chapter VIII: My Tears Ricochet

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII

Synopsis: All secrets are revealed and both you and Neteyam have to live with the consequences of your actions.

Warnings: pure angst, mentions of death, mental illness, addiction, self-injury, limited mentions of Y/N, did i mention angst, angst and more angst?

Word Count: 10,3k words (the first couple chapters were 3k, how did we get here??!)

A/N: This chapter killed me a little inside. I cried multiple times writing it, so I guess fair warning. I wanted really badly to build strong, round characters who had flaws and strengths and strong reasoning for acting a certain way/doing certain things. I wanted to write this story from both character's perspective, so it is clear that in life, each person will think they are right, that their reasoning was the correct one, when in reality, we are all a little right and a little wrong in everything we do, and it is always worth trying to see things from the other's perspective. We are coming towards the end of this first series, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of this journey. As always, thank you so much for everyone who engaged with it, I loved reading ALL of your comments and replies, they really make my day.

(Also, I feel like I am playing my own little game of "how many Taylor Swift and OG Avatar lyrics/quotes/references I can reasonably fit in a story without it being obnoxious" and I can't tell if I'm winning or not.)

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet"

You registered the girl asking you if you were alright, but you couldn’t see in front of you, the entire room spinning like the inside of a mirrorball. You felt your body rise from where it was sat next to Neteyam’s, and shakily made your way out. Neteyam’s mate. Neteyam’s mate was next to you, asking you if you need help. It all got too much, and you lunged your body forwards and threw up on the ground next to your tent. You were panting, trying to somehow get a grasp on your mind and push the hurt aside, enough so you can see and hear the world around you.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” you manage to blurt out weakly.

You heard more commotion, and faintly made out Jake’s voice and his arm on your shoulder, trying to bring you back to them.

“Neteyam, what the hell happened?”

You didn’t hear Neteyam speak. He was quiet and you were glad. You didn’t want to hear his voice, not now, and not for the rest of your life.

The world came back to focus eventually, and you spit aggressively trying to get rid of the taste of acid in your mouth. You removed Jake’s hand from your back, and left. The thought of speaking or even looking at any of them was too much to bear. You ran, harder than you ever had before, back to where you just came from, the Ikran nest in the village. You immediately recognised your own, beautiful, gold and white, pure, unlike the rest of this world. Neyn (light colours, shades of white)… fitting name, you thought. You made the tsaheylu quickly, and without a second thought, took off.

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF

STAGE III: DEPRESSION

You had no thoughts as you flew above the forest and made your way towards the general direction of the Hallelujah mountains. You realised you didn’t know where you were going, you didn’t know how you were going to find your way back, but it didn’t matter. Were you even going to ever return? There were no tears, no sadness, just emptiness. The pieces of your heart broke so finely they turned into dust, blown away in the wind of the night. Eventually you found the mountains, easy enough to spot, even in the darkness, the fluorescent flora marking the territory with an easy-to-see glow. You flew like this, for enough time that your lungs were running out of breath and your skin felt battered by the wind, but you kept going. You felt so free, so weightless. There was a calmness to your thoughts that you haven’t felt in years, probably since your mother died.

You saw a distant mountain that looked brighter than the others, and you made your way to it and were amazed to find a little cave in it, bright and colourful, a little piece of heaven on a planet that was heaven in and of itself. Neyn landed softly on the edge of the mountain and you dismounted effortlessly and approached her head, giving her pets on her neck, to which she cooed gently. She was the only friend you had, you realise. You were all alone.

“Neteyam, what happened?”

Neteyam was dragged in the tent by his dad, who was fuming. No matter what feelings his dad was feeling, they couldn’t compare to Neteyam’s anguish and terror. Why the hell was she there? She just had to wait another couple of hours and this would have never happened.

“She was patching my wound up when Tiongli came in the tent, announcing to the world she is my mate. Said mother told her about my injury.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on your mother, boy.” the Sully patriarch’s nose was flared, eyes looking at him intensely with anger and disappointment. Neteyam’s eyes filled with tears, and he felt his heart hurting so much like the gash was there instead of his arm.

“I was going to tell her tonight, dad. After dinner. I was going to tell her everything, and I was going to ask her to be my mate. I was going to come to you both and ask you to undo the engagement. I understand that a year and a half ago I gave up on her, I did it for a reason, I thought there was no future for us, and that we were hurting each other. But things have changed. She has changed. She’s going to be one of the people soon and I want her to be mine.”

“Neteyam, you can’t undo the engagement. You have known Tiongli your whole life, her family’s been expecting this since you were both young. You gave your word before Eywa, son.”

“I love her, dad. Do you understand that? I have loved her all of my life. It killed me having to leave, it killed me knowing there was no future, because she was human. But she’s not just human anymore. I was willing to go through with this for the sake of the village, for the sake of the family and the future, but if there is any chance I can have the love of my life by my side, instead, I will cling on to it for dear life. Mother was betrothed to uncle Tsu’tey, and she gave that up for you. It was done before Eywa, and she didn’t care. Because she loved you and she knew that was enough. She gave up being Tsahik, her birth right, so she can have you. I will not give up on her, dad. Mother wouldn’t have given up on you.”

“I have to find her. I have to make this right.”

You were sprawled on your back, feeling goosebumps form along your limbs from the cold grass. You were staring at the sky, noticing the bright stars you now knew were actually bright death sentences, each of them beautiful and devastating. Will you even still be alive when they come? Will everything you have gone through these few months matter? Will everything you have gone through in this life matter? All the pain, and the hurt, and the grief, just so you can die at 18 from a virus. The universe was cruel, you thought. It was a fitting end, though. Meaningless and daft, like your entire life was. Born on a planet you were not made to be able to survive on, your real planet a long-forsaken dream you will never experience for yourself, surrounded by nature that could kill you in an instant. Alone, never fitting anywhere, orphaned by human diseases: cancer and greed. Left to fend for yourself when you were just ten, learning to navigate a life that only seemed to want to clobber you to the ground whenever you thought you finally could stand up again.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel, not anymore. You wanted to fight for something, for the chance at life, or at retribution, or at love. You were dying and Neteyam killed whatever hope remained in you. They all did. Norm, Max, Jake, Neytiri, Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, all accomplices, all aware, all willing to lie to your face for weeks with no remorse. You thought you were good at spotting liars, now you just knew how little you knew about everything.

The pain in your soul mirrored the one in your body, as you felt the morphine wearing off and your human body struggling to keep the mind steady for the link. You had to bear it, because this pain was more manageable than the one you knew waited for you in your human form, when you would be alone in a dark room with only your nightmares to keep you company.

With a sigh and a peer up at the sky, you hoped whatever comes after death was better than the hell you’ve lived in the majority of this life.

Neteyam waited the whole night in your tent, waited for you to come back, becoming increasingly worried as the hours passed and you didn’t show. He wanted to go and look for you, but knew that as soon as you got on your ikran, the chances of finding you were thin. He would go to the lab as soon as dawn broke, but for now, he was praying that you would just burst through the tent opening so he can talk you down.

He fucked up, badly. He cringed at the thought of how much he seemed to not be able to get anything right when it comes to you. Everything he did or didn’t do ended up hurting you more, the only thing he didn’t want, the only thing in the world he continuously tried to avoid.

He was consoled by the fact that he would have a lifetime to make it up to you. He will not give up trying, no matter how long, no matter how hard, he was determined to win you back and keep you, forever.

As you made it back to your human body in the early hours of the morning, you regretted waiting so long, as your body was in indescribable agony, the likes with which you didn’t know was possible for the human body to ever experience. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, you were sweating bullets and every bone and muscle in your body throbbed with enough intensity to make it almost impossible for you to get up from the pod. Everyone must be asleep at this hour, you thought. You had to make it to your bed, you had to get at least a couple of hours of rest if you were going to live to see another day. As if you were taking the Iknimaya again, you made your way form the lab to the medical ward and injected another dose of the morphine in your system. There was no going back now, you were too far down the rabbit hole to stop and why put yourself through more unnecessary pain when this will all be over in a few days anyway?

You crashed in your room for a few hours and quickly made your way back to the pod before anyone else was there to talk to. You started the linkpod by yourself and got in without hesitation.

Waking up in your Avatar body was a strange experience, as you were still in the Hallelujah mountains where you fell asleep last night. Neyn did not leave you, you noted, and she was peacefully resting next to you, cooing softly in her sleep.

“Hey, beautiful girl. Time to go back. It would be useful if you knew the way.” you pet her gently, trying not to disturb her. She woke up and pushed her snoot in your chest, and you felt it swell for this animal that you had an unbreakable bond with; you were grateful you had done the Iknimaya and at least gained a life companion from that horrible day.

As suspected, Neyn knew where to take you, and in about an hour you made it back to the village. You dreaded it, dreaded the inevitable interaction, but you knew you had to go back at some point and inform them of your whereabouts.

It was still early, so the village wasn’t quite bustling with energy yet. You quietly made it back to your tent, which you found empty. You grabbed your bow and arrows, knife and gun and a couple extra magazines. You didn’t know if you were going to be back. As you were making your way out, your head bumped into a large, muscular chest.

Fuck.

“Where the hell were you all night, kid? None of us slept a wink last night worrying.”

“Out.”

“What the hell do you mean out? Out where? You leave without telling, you don’t come back the whole night, do you have a fucking death wish?”

You laughed at the irony of his words. He caught your arm as you were walking away and pulled you back forcefully so you can face him.

“You are not going anywhere.”

“Let go.” Jake raised a brow at your words. He was not used to being spoken this way, you realise.

“How long?”

His grasp on you loosened, and his gaze softened when you peered up at him through eyelashes to which tears clung.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Kid…”

“How fucking long, Jake?”

He let go of your arm at your curse, which had never been directed at him before.

“Watch your tone, kid.”

“You made me feel like shit for learning to shoot guns without you. It made you feel bad, right? Knowing I purposefully left you out of something you could have been useful at, something we could have bonded over? I hurt you, by pushing you and Neytiri away for so many years, and I am sorry for that, but you have never, in your life, tried to understand me. So you gave me shit about something you didn’t understand, and I hurt so much inside at the thought of all I gave away by my reluctance to trust, to love, to let people in. So I changed. I let you in. I was here, everyday, acting like a perfect little daughter for you, the daughter I knew you wanted. Strong, capable, skilled. I let Neytiri in. I started calling her mum in my dreams, and although the guilt for my own mother gnawed at my insides silently, I was also relived, to finally have a family again, or for the first time.

You made me love you and break down these carefully constructed walls so you can be comfortable and sleep well at night for not breaking your promise my mum, and then you fucking stabbed me in the back.

I trusted you, Jake. You fucking lied to my face for months. Every time I asked where Neteyam was at dinners and you told me he was practicing, every day you plotted to get me out of the village as early morning as humanly possible and get me back after everyone else was fast asleep, I knew it in my heart you were lying, but you were all so good at it, I thought I was going crazy. But no, it was all a carefully planned ruse to not find out you made me come here and be part of the people just to watch the man I love belong to someone else without even a chance to decide for myself how to feel about it.”

The fight brought out the rest of the Sully family out of their tent, and they were all watching you now, concern and sadness displayed across their beautiful faces.

“You all lied to me. Looked me in the fucking eyes and lied to me, every day, multiple times a day. You were supposed to be my family.

The humans are coming. I will be here. I will stand and fight, you know I will. I will be your little soldier, and be who you made me into.

But I want to make this perfectly clear. As far as I am concerned, you and I, we are done. I am done.” You looked at every Sully one last time, and left.

You were no longer delightfully numb, but burning with anger and earth-shattering sorrow as you stalked away from the village, leaving everything behind. Your eyes were blurry with endless tears, mourning this life and this family that you managed to gain and lose within the span of a few weeks, reeling from the wounds within your heart that never had a chance to mend before being opened again, over and over. You didn’t want to go back to the lab, knowing Neteyam was most likely looking for you there. You couldn’t go to the clearing for the same reason. You had no home anymore, no place in this world, once again. You could only think of one place to go, one place where no one would ever look for you.

Your knees were shaking furiously as you walked, and you were scared of another flashback that you would have to ride out by yourself, but it never came. You just walked, crying and panting from all the pain the last 24 hours brought, and eventually you made it to a place you never thought you would ever see again. The clearing looked peaceful, with rays of light penetrating through tree branches, creating Mandalas on the ground that you found yourself tracing with your eyes.

In the corner, lay a decrepit exo suit, and you made your way to it, settling on the ground next to it. You knew now this exo suit belonged to your dad, and you removed some vines that grew on top of his name, Gideon Barlowe. A beautiful name, you thought, and your mind wandered to the past, a past way before you were even born, and wondered what your grandparents did back on Earth. Did they encourage their son to leave his own planet in pursuit of planetary colonisation, monetary gain and murderous acts? Did they know? Did he know? Was he like that his whole life, or did he start off fighting the good fight, and was corrupted by the jagged and monstrous lifestyle? You wondered if this was what he has always dreamt of doing, or he had secret dreams of being a painter, or a gardener. Did he play guitar, too? You snored sometimes, did you get that from him? You had so many questions for this man you shared half your DNA with, but have never met. For the man that died on a planet far away from home, alone, with no one to mourn him.

Was that going to be you? Would Neteyam remember you in 20 years, when he would tell stories about his childhood to his kids, when he remembered the good old times? Would you get a Na’vi send off? Or were you going to be buried somewhere in the forest, for someone to stumble upon in a distant future you would no longer be a part of?

Sobbing uncontrollably, you heard yourself speak in between wails. “Why am I here? Great Mother, is there a reason for this hurt? Please tell me there is more to this life, there is more to life than this, because I cannot do this anymore. I am so tired. I have tried to keep going my whole life, even when I wanted nothing more than to cease to exist, blissfully collapse in an ether where I didn’t have to feel anything anymore. I kept going because I wanted to make my mum proud, I wanted to honour the body and life she has given me. I am trying so hard, but I am really fucking tired.”

A little past eclipse, you arrived at the lab, and used the keycard you remembered to bring with you. You hoped Neteyam would be gone by now, in case he was trying to find you here. You made your way through the hub and into your bedroom, which looked tiny in your Avatar body. You realise how uncomfortable it must have been for him to be here so often, then cursed your brain for making you think about such things. Your Avatar body needed a bed, so you walked slowly to where the other Avatar bodies usually were laid to rest for the night. There should be an empty space where your mum or Grace used to sleep. It didn’t take long for you to wake up back in the linkpod, as with most nights recently, you were barely able to maintain the neurolink by the time evening came.

Max was waiting for you. “Neteyam came by. He’s been looking for you, said you left the village yesterday and didn’t come back. He was worried sick.”

You didn’t answer him, as you slowly got out of the pod and tried to steady your feet on the ground, harder than it seemed when the entire room was spinning around you.

“What happened?”

“The mate you all hid from me for weeks came announcing herself in my tent as we were just about to kiss.”

“Any other questions?”

You didn’t wait for a response before you made your way out of the room, stalking towards the medical ward.

As you retired to your room for the night, you noted the morphine was not working as well as used to anymore. You sat on the bed, looking at the arm that was getting blue at the amount of needle holes it had, and you knew then you didn’t have much time left. Maybe a couple of days. A couple more days of this. And then it would finally be over. You gave it a fair shot, this life thing. You couldn’t say you felt particularly sad at the thought of it ending. You pressed play on your vintage record player and let yourself sleep.

“Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, til my dying day”

You spent the next 2 days in a haze, drugged out of your mind, waking up before eclipse and leaving to your dad’s grave and sleeping in the woods until the night, barely able to make it on your own two feet. Even in your human body, Neyn recognised you, and stood by you, which gave you some peace of mind. You made sure to bring her fruits from the lab, and she cooed warmly as she settled next to you.

When you made your way back that night, Norm was waiting.

“Where the hell have you been? Everyone’s been looking for you for 3 fucking days.”

You removed your oxygen mask and made your way to the room, where he followed you. You were in so much pain you couldn’t see straight.

“I am talking to you!” he took you by your arm and spun you around. The motion made you instantly sick, and you struggled to keep down the fruits you shared with your ikran.

“Let go of me, Norm.” you had no strength in your body anymore, so it took you awhile to shake him off.

“You look like shit. What did you do?”

You managed to make it to the bathroom, where you shut the door behind you and got in the shower. Fortunately, for you or him, you couldn’t tell, Norm was gone when you came out.

The next morning, you woke up desperately searching for pain relief and didn’t know if you were going to be able to make it to the ward before your knees would collapse on themselves. You were shaking and dizzy, out of your mind with agony and walking to the bathroom felt like the most intensive workout you have ever done. You peered up at yourself in the mirror and were scared at the eyes watching you, rabid and wild, like an injured animal waiting to lash out. It was too much for you to bear, and before you could even think or rationalise, you felt your fingers curl into a fist and make contact with the cold glass of the mirror, shattering in dozens of pieces, and it made you weirdly happy to have a visual representation of how your soul felt. The instant pain of the all the wounds the smash caused also gave you a weird sense of euphoria, and you realised it was taking away from the pain in the rest of the body, which was only able to focus on one agonising sensation at a time. This felt like a kiss by comparison, and you knew then you could go on a little longer, you could continue with the rest of the day.

Norm came bursting through the door at the loud crash.

“What the hell happened? Are you okay?”

You came out of your bathroom, blood dripping all over the floor as you made your way to the bed, sitting down on it.

“Leave, Norm.”

“What?”

“Leave.”

“What the hell has gotten into you recently. you are rude and brash, and you hurt people’s feelings with no remorse. This isn’t you.”

“What the hell do you know about me, Norm?” you say, laughing bitterly.

“Ace, stop.”

“You don’t know anything, Norm.” you kept going, the fury and hurt getting the best of you, once again, your need to destroy everything in your path as a way to cope with your own heartbreak winning by a landslide.     

“Did you know I have needed pills to sleep and to live a normal day-to-day life since I was 13? I have been slowly depleting our sleeping pill and benzodiazepines inventory and replacing it with multivitamin pills I found in one of the drawers. I mean thank God none of you suffer from anxiety or panic disorder or need help sleeping cause I would have been busted so long ago.”

You laughed mockingly at his shocked face, jaw so close the floor now you could trip on it on your way out.

“Did you know I am about a week and a half away from dying after I accidentally smashed a vial of infected blood and got it in my mouth?”

You stand corrected, you think now his jaw was close enough to the floor to trip on it.

“Did you know I have upgraded from a pill addiction to a full blown opioid addiction in order to not collapse on the floor in excruciating pain because of the way this virus is eating at my insides? Yeah, yeah, that’s right. We’re almost out of a whole vial of morphine after I injected it in my veins every day for a while now.”

He had no words. “That’s about right.”

“I do know one thing you do know, though. You know that Neteyam had his mate announcement ceremony that day I took off. You were there to see the two love birds announce their love and pledge their commitment to each other the one day I was not there. And that’s why you were acting shifty. You know about that. And somehow you forgot to tell me, every day, for weeks. How does that work out, Norm, hmm?”

“I felt so bad for snapping at you a couple of days ago. I felt like a horrible fucking person for hurting your feelings. I should have been watching my back, instead.”

You got up from your bed and started walking towards the door.

“If I were you I would not linger in a room with poisoned blood dripping on the floor for too long.”

You found some paper towels at the side of your bed and wrapped them around your bleeding, pained hand, and with that, you left.

After you upped the morphine you usually took, you went to the lab and prepped a hood for some more experiments. Work was a good way to get your mind off things, to mindlessly do something that had a purpose other than driving you to the brink of insanity.

You heard a loud banging noise coming from the entrance, and you had a sneaking suspicion you knew who it was. You heard Norm open the door.

“Is she here?”

“Yeah, but Neteyam, I think you should go. She’s not in a good place, and I really don’t think doing this will end well for either of you.”

“I don’t care, I have to talk to her, I have been looking for her for 3 fucking days.”

You heard the door to the lab slide open and hissed at the man you knew would be trying to come in, realising hissing in a human body doesn’t have nearly the same effect.

“Get the fuck out, Neteyam. This is a sterile room.”

“I don’t fucking care about the room, Atan. Where the fuck have you been? Please come out so we can talk.”

You threw your head back and laughed, really laughed.

“You really are delusional if you think there is any way in heaven and hell I would want to hear anything you have got to say. The time for talking was a couple months ago, Neteyam. The time for talking was the first day I got my Avatar body, where in addendum to telling me you own my ass now, you could have also sprinkled in the fact your are now mated with someone else.”

“I am not mated with anyone, for fuck’s sake. Just come out so we can talk, please. I will explain everything, please!”

You stopped what you were doing and looked at him, for the first time since that day. He looked exhausted, anguished. Deep purple bags under his eyes, that were burning red where the whites should be. He has been crying. Good, you thought. He looked panicked and miserable and desperate for you to give him the time of day, for you to allow him to explain the unexplainable.

You sighed and your heart constricted in pain. Neteyam will not be happy until there was nothing left of you, until he took everything from you. At the same time, you were curious, morbidly curious as to what has actually happened, what led to this moment. You knew he loved you. You knew that much, but it didn’t seem to matter in this moment, as he broke your heart for what felt like the thousandth time in your short life.

“Go to the clearing, I’ll come when I’m ready.”

You half considered just leaving him there to wait, abandoning him just he did to you. You finished splitting your cells and treating them, and in about an hour, you went into the linkpod and took your Avatar for a walk in the woods. You reached the clearing shortly, as it was close enough that even child you could do it without getting too far away from the building.

You saw him standing there, his back turned to you and his legs submerged in the river that was rushing violently downstream. It was a cold day, and rain was trickling down your body like shivers from a kiss. There was tension in the air, and you knew a storm was coming. You could practically feel the charge in the atmosphere, and were expecting thunder to start any minute now, ready to mirror the agony in your soul.

“I’m here.”

He didn’t speak for a while. Just stood looking at the river, deep in thought.

“So many of our moments throughout the years happened here. Remember when I taught you to swim in the river? Now, in retrospective, that was a bad idea since the water kept taking you away, to the point I had to wait at the end so I could catch you in my arms, like you were a baby.”

You winced at the memory.  You thought you could do this. You felt numb in that lab, numb on the way here, but as soon as your eyes focused on him, tears starting pooling in your eyes and pain overtook your body, that you tried to counteract by wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. He’s caused you so much hurt, so much grief in the years he’s known you. But he was also at the forefront of most of your happiest memories. You could fill endless manuscripts with the beauty of his love, that shone so brightly over you your whole life. He was the light in all the darkness and you honestly didn’t think you would have survived this journey without him.

That is why this hurt so much, why your body was convulsing on itself in insurmountable grief. And also why you owed him this much. Owed him this conversation, and the right to explain his point of view, that you were still unfamiliar with.

“I remember. I remember even at the time, thinking this was a good metaphor for our relationship. Life kept sweeping me off my feet, but you were always there to catch me, before it could take me away. I had so much faith in you back then, you were a fact of life, like the eclipse. You were the one person in this world I thought would never hurt me.”

“Fuck, Y/N, all I did before I left is hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” You were confused at the turn this conversation took. What did he mean? You couldn’t recall a single time Neteyam hurt you before you left. Sure, you would fight and bicker sometimes, but it was a normal part of any relationship, you thought. And he always made it up to you, would always come to the lab and sit with you with flowers he collected or trinkets he found in the woods, always holding you and kissing your forehead to make sure you were over it before he had to leave. Fighting with him was ironically one of your favourite things, because you knew the aftermath was the closest you ever felt to being in heaven.

“I almost fucking killed you. Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten how I manipulated you into getting on top of an ikran when you were just a 13 year old human and almost watched you die? Have you forgotten I took you to the woods and raced you to your dad’s remains? I was a walking magnet for disasters in your life and I was tired, so fucking tired of watching your life fall apart all around me. I had to watch you learn to walk again, limp because of my actions, for years. I had to pull you out of flashbacks and nightmares you developed because of ME. You were always fine in the woods with Lo’ak or Kiri, but everything bad that has happened to you happened around me.”

He was crying, panting and angry, at himself or you or the universe, you couldn’t tell.

“I thought that if I left, you would be ok. I just wanted to protect you. My whole life, all I have wanted was for you to be ok. But it seems no matter what I do, I keep fucking up.”

You had no words to speak as you lay there, listening to him letting you in to a secret you have spent so many months agonising over. The reason for his departure haunted you for a year and a half, even when you refused to think about him, about it, it was there, constantly emerging from the depths of your subconsciousness, taunting you in your dreams. Why? Why? Why?

Because he wanted to protect you?

You didn’t have time to process all of this new information, before he continued.

“The night you found your dad, I was shaken to my core, in a way I have never truly been before. I was so heartbroken, for you and for myself, for knowing this will haunt you for the rest of your life. I went home and mother found me, and told me that maybe I can’t help you in the way I’ve always wanted. That maybe it’s better for you that I remove myself for a while and leave you room to breathe and heal. So I did. It took me a long time to get the strength to do it. Every time I thought today is the day, I would see you and you would smile at me, and we would sit on your bed and you would read to me or play me songs or just be there, just you and me, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. You were everything to me, my light in all the darkness.

A year later, you sang me the song and you were smiling at me singing it, and I knew you were confessing feelings we have both felt for years and couldn’t say out loud. And I knew that if I stayed, whatever we had would escalate past the point of no return. If I stayed, that would be it. And that’s when I decided. I thought I was doing us both a favour. I knew it would hurt you, just as much as it hurt me, but I thought the pain would subside in time.”

You were crying now, you realised, tears falling silently and effortlessly down your face, with no intention to ever stop, instantly washed away by the pouring rain. There were no sounds, no sobs or wails, or panted breaths, just the sounds of rain and hopeless, soft cries and muffled sniffles, for the man in front of you, for all that you have lost, for the past you shared and the future that you would never have.

He got up from where he stood and turned around to face you. He walked towards you until he was so close to you could feel his breath on your face. His stare made goosebumps appear on your entire body, so earnest and desperate, so full of intensity for the words he was trying to convey to you.

“It didn’t.” He said, at the same time you thought the same words in your mind.

“A few years ago, mother and father told me I would one day have to find a mate. They knew and I knew it was expected of me, but I always put it off, so they eventually dropped it. I learnt later they both knew about us, so they didn’t push me into anything until they felt I was ready. A few months after they realised I decided to leave, they started bringing it up again. I didn’t want to hear it, but they said it was time, as I had refused for years longer than what was acceptable in the clan. I met with so many girls, all from good families, all healers in training, all wrong. Beautiful girls, smart girls, skilled healers and singers, and it was like looking at the grey walls of your lab. I felt nothing, I felt sick just thinking about it, like just the thought would be betraying the memory of our bond. Eventually, I told them they can decide. Grandma can decide whatever she thinks is best, and, as Tsahik, I would listen to her voice and wisdom, and do my duty to the clan. She chose Tiongli. I knew her growing up, and we were friendly, so I tried to make an effort. I would go to her tent, and she would show me her training sometimes, I would let her heal my wounds and imagined it was your hands touching me instead. I visited her family and paid my respects, and had dinner with them whenever they invited me. I hoped in time, I could learn to care for her, to lessen the distaste in my mouth whenever my family or the clan talked about the future, about the ceremony, about the life I was supposed to lead that I hated even the thought of.

And then, one day, my dad sent me to get Lo’ak from the lab. I was so scared of knowing I would have to see you again. It had been so long, and so many feelings gnawed at me on the walk there, terror and anxiety, guilt and longing. But then I saw you, and there was only one feeling: love. Like no time had passed at all. I knew then I was going to love you for the rest of my life, and that will never change. That was my fact of life, my eclipse.”

He slowly took your face in his hands, and his thumb was caressing your cheek trying to wipe the tears and raindrops that were falling mercilessly. You saw his face slowly getting closer to yours, and you knew you should pull away, you should remove yourself from his grasp before the kiss was going to remove the last ounce of happiness from you. You knew what you had to do, knew that no matter what information or answers or justifications he would give you today, they wouldn’t matter. You should pull away, because there is no future, no hope. But you couldn’t. You didn’t know what waited for you in the afterlife, but if there was any chance you would have your memories, you wanted this kiss to haunt you forever, to remind you of the life you left behind.

His lips touched yours so gently, it felt like a whisper. Like a hug, tender and warm, it was so different than your first kiss. Tears were still running down your face as your lips moved, entangled with his and begging for more. Your hands went to his chest, to his neck, to his back, just touching him, trying to memorise his body, this feeling. You wanted so much more, you wanted to be his, you wanted to feel him, you wanted him to own you, like he did your heart, which has been his your entire life and will still be his after your death.

You were a mess of wet tangled limbs and panted breaths by the end, and eventually, he broke the kiss to look at you through teary eyes.

“I love you, I will always love you. I am so sorry.”

“I love you, too.”

“But this doesn’t change anything, Neteyam.”

“Thank you, for finally telling me why you left. For giving me some closure for something that has plagued me for so long, it became a constant part of my nightmares. Thank you for having my best interest at heart; it couldn’t have been easy to leave, if you didn’t want to, it took a strong heart to do something that hurt you for what you thought was the lesser evil. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“You left me. You broke me. And you never gave me a chance to make my own decisions. To figure out for myself what was the path forward. I have NEVER blamed you for my misfortunes. The ikran ride is still a beautiful memory to me. You made it a beautiful memory. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, we probably would have both died at the hands of Toruk. You saved my life, Neteyam. You carried me home and stayed with me while I was having surgery, you stayed with me after, while I recovered. You pulled me out of the worst panic attack I have ever had when I found my dad, and you rode out so many of my flashbacks, I have lost count. You weren’t the cause or the common denominator of these events, I was. I am the one plagued by misfortune and hurt and death. Not you. And if you tell me you had to leave to save your own peace of mind, I would respect that. I don’t know anyone in this world who can take this, take me and all the shit that follows me everywhere I go. I don’t blame you.

But if you tell me that you did this for me, that I can’t accept. I didn’t ask for any of this. You gave me no choice, and no say in this relationship, in our shared life. You just left. I deserved better than that. And I deserved better than to find out about a mate after months of lies and manipulation and deceit. I don’t care. I don’t care if you are going to say that you didn’t want it, or you were going to undo it, or that you’ve always loved me and never her. I don’t care. You lied to me, you manipulated me. You accused me of fucking your brother as you were promised to another woman that you hid from me for months. I do blame you for that, and I will never be able to forgive you.”

“Please, Atan…I will tell her no. I will tell her -.” he was sobbing now, his hands still on your face, pleading.

“No.” you slowly took his hands in yours and removed them from your face.

“I think you should do it, Neteyam. She is a good girl, she will make a good Tsahik, and a good mate. Your mother was right, there is no future here - there never was. I love you, so much. But I think you have broken my heart one too many times. I am done.”

You turned your back and walked away from him and the life that was lost - forever.

You were completely soaked when you arrived in the lab, and you went straight to the Avatar laying room and cried. Cried until it felt like no more tears could possibly come out of you. You cried yourself to sleep and then cried in the pod, on the way to your bedroom, and in bed until your human body eventually collapsed from exhaustion. You cried in your dreams, in which Neteyam was kissing you and touching you, doing all the things you were silently begging him to in your mind just a few hours ago.

Eventually, nightfall came, and you had to get up to do the rest of your experiments and top up your analgesic. Ironically enough, you were making real progress on your work. You found a combination therapy that was showing incredible potential in slowing the virus down. It wasn’t enough to stop and eradicate it, but it was enough to give people more time and hopefully give the scientists more time to find a cure. It wouldn’t help you, but maybe you could still help others.

At some paint through the night, as you were making up some reagents, Norm bursts through the door holding a bunch of equipment and some pills, you realise. He puts them down on the bench behind you and speaks.

“Right, stop whatever you are doing, right now.”

“I am in the middle of something.”

“I don’t fucking care. Stop, now.”

You were taken aback at his words and attitude. Norm never got mad, or lost his composure. He was so most well balanced person you knew.

You put the pipette gun down and turned around to face him.

“I still need to adjust the pH on this.”

He ignored you while he prepared the myriad of little gadgets he brought with him. He motioned for you to take off your lab coat, and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but did as you were told regardless. You were too tired to argue anymore.

He raised the sleeves of your top until they couldn’t go any further up your arm and put a blood pressure monitor on you. You felt tension as its sleeve tightened around you painfully, but eventually it gave out with a puff, and you heard beeping as the machine finished its reading. You looked to your right where the monitor lay, and saw red lights flashing, letting Norm know your blood pressure and pulse were dangerously low. His eyes widened slightly at the sight, but he held his composure, removing the gadget from around your arm and putting it away. He then read your oxygen levels, which you saw were constantly dabbling between 89 and 90%. Not good, you thought. No wonder you could barely breathe anymore. Norm cursed silently under his breath, trying to not let you see him, but if there was one thing you were good at, it’s reading people. Well, you thought you were, at least.

“Did you do any tests on your blood? How is your complete blood count looking?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why the fuck not, Ace? It’s not like you don’t know how to do it.”

He was angry, really angry. You’ve never seen Norm this angry, you’ve never seen Norm acting this way towards you.

You just shrugged. With a huff of annoyance, he took your arm and prepared a needle and syringe to collect some blood. He gulped and you could see tears forming in his eyes when he looked at the violet bruises and needle holes that were plastered along the length of your brachial vein.

“Just didn’t get around to it.”

“You didn’t - Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“What medicine have you been taking? Did you take the Relenta, or the combination therapy we have been working on?”

“Neither.”

You swear you saw Norm’s entire body enter a catatonic state and he turned so red you were worried he was going to release steam out of his ears.

“You have been sick for a month and did not take anything, none of the treatments we have been working on?”

You couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, finding comfort in the pattern of the tiles on the floor.

“I can’t believe you. I didn’t peg you for someone who would just throw their life away meaninglessly. Your mum had to die because we didn’t have a way to treat her illness, and here we are, with a solution that YOU came up with for your own illness, and you will just not even try?”

You were quiet, not really having a way to rebut his questions.

“Fine. We will start you on the combination treatment tonight and take it from there. There’s other things we haven’t tried yet and I’m sure -“

“NO.”

“I’m not asking you. I’m not letting you fucking die.”

“Why must you always fucking try to fix everything, Norm? Some things can’t be fixed. I don’t want the fucking pills. I am done. I want this to be done.”

“So you’ll just die? Is that what you’re saying? You want to die, and not even fucking TRY to see if there is more to this life. Goddamn it, Y/N. I thought having the Avatar would help you realise life is worth living, there’s beauty in this world beyond the walls of this lab. You got your first kill, you did the Iknimaya, you’re going to become one of the people. Don’t you want to see what your future holds? Don’t you want to live to see yourself grow up? Fall in love, start a family. There are more guys in this world than just Neteyam.”

You gave Norm a dirty look and got out of the lab.

Neteyam felt his whole body reel after your conversation. It didn’t change anything, he thought bitterly. He thought explaining it to you, allowing to see that he had good reasons for his actions would allow you to forgive him, to at least allow him the opportunity to make it up to you through time. You left, just like he had so long ago, but there was a finality to you that he didn’t feel then. Back then, he always had hope that a miracle would still be possible, one in which you got an Avatar, healed and loved him, forever. He wanted to love you forever, but his apology and explanations were not enough.

He lost you, again.

He spent the night flying on his Ikran, just flying and letting the rain soak his thoughts and hurt away. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted the rain to melt his bones until there was nothing left of him but the memory of happier times.

In the early hours of the morning, he made it back to the village, trying to hide his cried out eyes and calamitous grief. He was dreading having to talk to his parents, to explain to them what happened, to have to go through with Tiongli and this future he didn’t want and will have to suffer through for the rest of his life. He didn’t have time to worry about it too much though, because, as he managed to get to the tent’s entrance, he heard Norm’s voice and his dad’s, intertwined with his grandma’s voice rising above them.

“It won’t work. Eywa will not allow her to come back.”

“Why not? She has taken her Iknimaya, she has completed her kills, she has spent her entire life in the village’s service, trying to help the best way she knew how. If she doesn’t deserve this, who does?”

“It’s not that she doesn’t deserve it. It’s that she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want this, Norm. The Great Mother will not transfer the conscience of someone with no future.”

“But maybe if this happened, she will realise that she wants to live. Once she’s rid herself of her weak body, of this disease, maybe she will -“

“The Great Mother’s word is final. She will die, because she wants to die.”

Mo’at’s voice rang in his ears so hard he thought his eardrums would pop.

She doesn’t want it.

She will die.

What were they talking about? Who would die?

No… it couldn’t be. No, the Great Mother wouldn’t be so cruel.

He didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation, running as fast as his feet could carry him back to the lab. He reached soon enough, he was faster than most other people in the village, and started knocking on the door of the lab with all his might.

“Y/N, OPEN UP, I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!”

Eventually, Max came to the door, through which Neteyam burst without consideration for the tiny human next to him.

“She’s not in, Neteyam. She left before any of us had a chance to say anything.”

“Was she in her Avatar body?”

“No, the body is in the den where they sleep.”

He didn’t bother thanking the man, as he turned on his heel and started running again. She was there, had to be.

It was still raining, the clouds relentless as they released drops that poured gently down his face and body, and Neteyam thought the Great mother was crying, mourning the love being washed away like a pebble in the river of the clearing, just like he was.

You were there, of course you were. A current shocked Neteyam at the sight of you. This was the first time he has seen your human body in months, and he found it hard to reconcile the image of you he has known all his life with this current one. You were incredibly thin, so thin, whereas a few months ago he could trace your muscles, he could now trace your bones. You were pale, almost ashen, and the hair that he once spent so long admiring was now brittle and dull, obvious even as it was, wet and clinging to your back. You looked lifeless. He felt a lump form in his throat and tears pool in his eyes that were still not dry from all the pain this day has brought.

You didn’t notice him yet, your human ears much less sensitive than your Avatar, so you were just sitting on the riverbank with your chin resting on your knees, which were brought to your chest and your arms wrapped tightly around them. You were looking at the water, and it was like you weren’t actually there. You were in your own world, far from here, from this hurt.

“I was going to ask if it was true, what I heard Norm talk about in the tent today, but I think you’ve answered my question.”

Neteyam saw you flinch, and it felt like even that brought your weak frame pain. You were trembling when you looked at him, and your face made his own drop in shock. Your beautiful features, the blush in your cheeks, the glimmer in your eye, the pink of your lips, your animated expressions or raised eyebrows, were all gone. Your eyes looked glossed over and numb, your face looked ghostly and sunken, and Neteyam swore he could trace every blood vessel on your forehead and neck. The sight of you made whatever happiness or hope he had left dissolve and trickle down his bones, until it reached the ground where it was eventually buried, never to be seen again.

“I didn’t think I could make myself any clearer, Neteyam.”

“tell me it isn’t true. Tell me he’s lying; he’s making it up.”

“What part?”

“All of it.” Neteyam was angry now, trying to contain the temper rising in his chest.

“Tell me you’re not dying.”

“Norm has a big fucking mouth.”

“Can you for once in your fucking life just answer a question? This is fucking serious!”

You winced at his words, then struggled to get up, but did eventually and fully face him. The state of you hit him like bullets, piercing and scraping at his every organ, leaving bleeding wounds behind.

“It’s true”.

Crack, crack, crack. 

“When?”

“The night you gave me the guitar. I was so busy being in love with you I forgot to put the proper protection on, and I smashed a bottle of infected blood. It got in my mouth, in my nose.”

“I thought you were working on a cure.”

“Haven’t found it yet.”

“But you said you have something that kind of works, something to give people more time.”

“I’m human, it doesn’t work that way for us.”

“So, you’ve tried.”

You weren’t looking at him anymore, just staring at the ground in front of you, somewhere next to Neteyam’s feet.

“Tell me you have fucking tried.”

It thundered aggressively as Neteyam said that, and he saw you once again tremble at the loud sound. You have never been a jumpy person. You were the bravest person he knew. You were the strongest person he knew. It was unspeakable having to watch you now, sitting meekly in front of him, when just a few days ago you took the Iknimaya, taking the climb to the toughest tests known to the Omatikaya, doing it like it was nothing, just another day for you. To know that this is what was hiding underneath, this is what you hid from all of them, made him both impossibly miserable and strikingly enraged at the same time.

“TELL ME YOU HAVE TRIED.”

“NO, OKAY?? NO, I HAVEN’T FUCKING TRIED.” You were sobbing now, your tears washed away by the rain and wind as soon as they fell down your cheeks.

“Why?”

“Because I am tired. I want this to end.”

“I thought you were happy. I thought you were better. You seemed better in the Avatar.”

“I was better… in the Avatar. Because that wasn’t my life. That was just a beautiful dream, while my life was the never-ending nightmare. It was easy to pretend in that body. It was easy to be the version of myself everybody wanted me to be. But I have to live with the real me every night. And I don’t want to do it anymore.” The more you cried, the more Neteyam’s blood boiled in his veins.

“That’s such fucking bullshit.”

“You know what I think?”

“I think dying is fucking easy. It’s your easy way out.”

You looked up at his much larger frame incredulously, and he saw how your mood was starting to mirror his own.

“What did you just say? You think this is fucking easy for me?”

“Yes, I think it is. I think all you’ve done since your mum has died is take the easy way out. Put everything and everyone in your little bottom desk drawer, keeping everyone at a distance. Do you know how much mother and father suffered every time you refused to come out, to come to the village? My mother cried herself to sleep at the thought of you alone in that lab, at the thought that you preferred that soulless, empty place to her, to us. Did you know that?

You have not once opened that drawer, not once dealt with anything. All you do is numb yourself down, pretend you are fine and the issues you have suffered through do not exist. Well guess fucking what, Atan? They exist. And until you deal with that pain and let it pass over you and through you, you will always take the easy way out.

You have made me feel like the worst person in the world, for leaving, for lying to you. But what the fuck have you done, huh? You lied to me about dying, for weeks! About dying! What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you? You said I took your choice away. You wouldn’t have even given me a choice to say goodbye to the love of my life before you fucking died!

I left you for a year because I wanted to protect you, you are leaving permanently because you refuse to fuck deal with the pain and hurt I know you feel deep down inside. You had a choice. You could have come to the many people who love you, love you unconditionally, and told us, and let us in, and let us help you. You could have gotten help, taken the pills, fight your damn hardest to make this work, to find a cure, for the life your mum gave you, the life she would have to watch you throw away. You have a choice now. To want to live, to want to fight through this and come out the other side a new, better person. To let me love you, let people love you. To do the consciousness transfer and be with me, and be happy, forever. And you’re choosing this.

You are a coward.”

Neteyam turned on his heel and walked away, before he got a chance to see you collapse on the ground, giving your last few breaths in the place he used to imagine both of your children laying in his arms peacefully while you sang them to sleep.

Tag list (I hope I didn't miss anyone, thank you so much for asking to be tagged &lt;3): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties

The descriptions and word play. Beautiful.

❤🌻❤🌻

What Is A Flower If Not Petals? (What Is Love If Not Blooming?

✩pairing: Hard Of Hearing!Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

✩genre :hurt/comfort

✩word count: 7.4k

✩warnings: established Shinkami (who are terrible pet owners), sad bakugou, dumbification, oral (fem receiving), fingering, unprotected sex

✩authors note: this is for my sweet baby @dearestdynamight birthday!!!! i’m so glad u liked it and u mean so so so much to me my love u are literally my first tumblr friend and mean the absolute world to me!!!

Your mother always told you hate was a strong word, so you’ve avoided using it.

However, spending your early 20’s walking dogs between classes wasn’t what the teenage version of you imagined you would be doing at this age. You can’t complain though. Most dogs behave well. You do get to make your own schedule and who wouldn’t want to spend their free time walking dogs and playing with them while also avoiding the massive responsibility that they are?

Your mother’s chastising voice also reminds you to be grateful. That this job is better than nothing. That you’re lucky to have a consistent stream of customers that not only treat you well but pay you well, along with dogs that behave well.

Again. Most dogs.

Keep reading

Cuuuute 🔥🥰🥰🥰🥰

DRAGON SHOUTO AU | DRABBLE SERIES MASTERLIST

tags/warnings: fantasy au, interspecies relationship, aged up characters, possessive behavior, fem pronoun + afab reader, some implied western fantasy au sexism (not from our mans tho), 18+ mdni!

prequel (0.3k)

As a child you come across what you think is a weird fat lizard the size of a cat, playing in the fields just outside of your village.

part i (0.5k)

Shouto comes into his majority, and with it, his full powers. You end up with something far trickier than a dragon on your hands.

part ii (1k)

Shouto has shifted into human form in order to achieve a very specific objective. (nsfw!)

drabbles will be posted under the tag #dragon shouto au

STOPPP I NEED MORE

Worthy. ･ ｡ﾟ☆

Pairings: 20Neteyamx19Metkayina!Fem!

Summary: you’re the next Tsahík, teaching Neteyam the way of water but you both can’t stand each other but he confronts you after you ditch him to spend the day with Lo’ak.

Warnings: enemies to lovers ish, cussing, angst, arguing.

Word Count: 2647.

Notes: My first fic! I have an 18+ part 2 already written & I’m starting a little avatarxtsutey one too! :)

After endless nights of you and Neteyam bickering over a misplaced finger when signing or a crooked shot when free-diving, Tsireya suggested you spend the day with the other Sully's which you happily obliged. Especially knowing Neteyam would take off for his hunt tomorrow, you could have a few days to yourself. You had finally finished a few shell and glass bead ties for Tuk to wear as bracelets or to lace around her loin cloth, since she liked when you two matched. Kiri approached your pod, alone, with a twine knitted cloth wrapped around her shoulders. She smiled, gesturing her hand from her forehead down, and you reciprocated. "Kiri, hi, I'm with Tuk and Lo'ak for today but I was thinking we could visit the Healers tomorrow if you're interested?"

Kiri kneeled down next to you, tapping her hand against your shoulder, "I was thinking the same thing, thank you." Her eyes lazily wandered along the pod, across the dock and down to the bead ties, "for Tuk? She's going to scream."

You laughed, picking one up and placing it near Kiri's braid, "I hope so, but this one would look pretty on you." But suddenly, she picked the tie from your hand and placed it in her lap, her face scrunched, "Tsakarem, I want to ask you something."

You nodded, mimicking her posture to show that you're engaged in her new, serious tone but you could sense she was going to bring up Neteyam. You have caught her on many occasions observing the two of you, whispering insults and rolled eyes. She lowered her voice, "you and Neteyam, why must you argue all the time?"

You sighed; your eyes dropped to the floor. You felt your chest tighten at his name, guilt pricking at tips of your fingers, "Kiri.." you exhale, shaking your head, "he frustrates me, like I can't say anything without him having an issue with it."

Kiri uncoupled the cloth draped across her shoulders, folding it as she whispers, "I know, I know, I see that. He carries all this responsibility for everything and everyone, but he misses the forest. He needs you to give him patience."

"I'm patient!" You exclaimed, crossing your arms. Kiri tilted her head, her eyelids lowering below her pupils. You put your hands up to your sides in surrender, "okay, maybe not the most patient.."

Her eyes softened and you reached to her hands, holding onto her 4th finger, "you're right, I will be more patient, okay?" She nodded, offering you a half smile, and wrapping her hand over yours but you could tell her thoughts were turning and shifting. You wondered what it felt like, if you had to leave the water. To live in the forest or near the volcano. It must feel like Ewya being stripped from your nerves. You knew Ewya wanted you to feel empathy and peace for the Sully's, for Neteyam. Each time your fingers brushed along the reef, she travelled up your spine, throwing sticks in the fire of guilt burning inside your stomach.

Before you could ruminate much longer, Tuk came rolling in, Lo'ak trailing behind her, "Tuk, stop jumping" he called. You extended your hands out and Tuk squeezed your hands, "'Eylan!"

"Tuk! Tuk, come here, close your eyes" you said, hiding your hands behind your back. She sat in front of you, eyes crossed and nose tilted up. Lo'ak smiled at you, while clipped the shell ties around her wrists, "okay, open."

Kiri was right, she did scream.

The shore of the island was home to multiple kinds of reefs, sparkled with vibrant fish and ilu. All the creatures can be found in the fracture reef where the pods are, but some reefs are home to the large pincer or feathertail fish. Lo'ak wanted to practice free-dive hunting and how could you say no? He sheathed an ikran tooth blade, storytelling about how he fell off a cliff when bonding with his ikran. You liked his forest stories, vastly different than free diving.

"I want to fly."

He laughed, nudging your shoulder, "little forest envy? If I catch a flat skate, I'll take you."

You groaned, throwing your arms up, "a flat skate? Come on! Anoung can barely catch a flat skate."

Smile plastered on his face, he rolled his eyes "Yeah, well I'm definitely better than fish lips." You scoffed, "prove it!"

You both stepped over the reef, which was connected to the sea, but this section was surrounded by rocks. The sea a vibrant, fluorescent turquoise but this pool was a dark navy, deeper than the water connected to the Metkayina's part of the reef. His golden eyes widened, "oh shit, this is deep. Aren't flat skates at the bottom?"

You shook your head, "you'll never take me flying.." He smirked, patting your shoulder, "I'm gonna catch this fish, bro. But if I drown, I bet you could convince Neteyam." You furrowed your brows at the statement, eyes lowly looking back at him. He continued, "wait actually before I dive, I want to ask. Are you and Neteyam good? I thought the bickering was whatever but.. I don't know. Kiri mentioned something last night and it got me thinking."

You quickly glanced at him then back at the pool, "Yeah, yes. I'm sorry that it caused so much attention, that's embarrassing. I'll talk it out with him soon, we've just been.. butting heads."

He snorted, "yeah, you could call it that." You instinctively glared at him so he paused, turning to you. Lo'ak half smiled, "I'm here for you, okay? We can always meet at this reef and you can tell me everything you wish you could talk about. We're friends." You felt your shoulders relax beneath his hand, responding with a quiet nod. He grinned, "but only if you tell me what Tsireya says about me." You laughed, playfully hitting his arm. Lo'ak unsheathed his blade and turned towards the reef, "okay, watch me catch this fish."

The sun was beginning to dim, but still light enough that it glistened against the water's surface. Lo'ak walked by your side, carrying two flat skates in his twine satchel. Some of the clan were tending to the stone fire but it was too early for there to be a crowd. "These are gonna make a great dinner" Lo'ak bragged, shaking the bag.

You stifled a laugh, "yeah, okay, stop shaking the bag like that."

He furrowed his brows at you before breaking out into a smile. When he looked forward, to his surprise, not only were your parents out but all his siblings, "oh shit, whole family's here."

You raised your brows, "didn't expect to see them together" but as your eyes scanned the crowd, Neteyam's gaze was stuck on yours. He stood from where he was once sat, his eyes dark and low. The bioluminescent marks on his temple gleamed, and he turned to Kiri and Tuk. Neteyam quickly nodded at them, mumbling something unintelligible. Lo'ak glanced between the two of you, so you gently pat Lo'ak's arm signaling him to slip away to show Jake and Netyiri his hunt. Before Neteyam could approach you, you turned around to go to your pod. You tried to shake off the sick feeling his glare gave you, tangling knots in your muscles. Every day you two argue, and the one day you train someone else, he glares at you across the beach. You laid down in the center of your pod, dropping your atlatl and watching it roll across the floor. Placing your hand over your heart, you tried to slow your breathing. Eyes closed, trying to connect with Ewya but your worry thumped beneath you, breaking your concentration.

"Tsakarem."

You propped yourself up with your elbows, "Neteyam." Your eyes travelled over his body, noting his locked jaw and tense shoulders. He brought no weapon, empty handed. He wasn't wearing his battle belt or arm wrap, nothing but his forest beaded warrior necklace and a songchord along his loincloth. Neteyam stopped outside of your pod, glancing down at the floor before stepping in, "you have spent days braiding Tuk shell ties and you took Lo'ak to your favorite reef to hunt, and for me.. you criticize my every move? You swat my hand and call me a child?" His voice was stern, like he was lecturing you.

Your throat felt dry, you sat up straight, crossing your legs to your side, "Neteyam, are you serious? What is this about?" You hoped playing indifference would make him feel inclined to leave. You fidgeted with the shells tied to your loin cloth, unknotting them and placing them beside you. He stepped closer, his braids sweeping across his shoulder as he did so. His brows were knit together, but he kept his canines concealed to not make you feel uncomfortable or threatened. He spoke sternly, with a collected tone, "You didn't train me today, Tsireya and Eyrina did. Tell me why?"

You scoffed, ears flicking down for a moment. You quickly gathered your loincloth beads, standing up and walking over to a woven basket towards the back of your pod, "thought you would've liked that, Neteyam." Once you dropped the beads, you turned back around to see him just a few inches in front of you. You could feel his breathing against your skin, stinging each nerve on your neck. Your eyes traced his structure, his posture. "I didn't" he said, curtly. You sighed, rubbing your hands behind your neck, "everything I say, you criticize. I can't say anything without it being wrong." You couldn't read if he was angry, hurt, jealous, he remained expressionless with the same furrowed brows and thin lips he walked in with. His amber eyes remained on your, like he as just waiting for your next words so he could pounce. You continued, "I know I'm not the perfect teacher, but I am trying and it's so frustrating that I can't even talk to you."

He scowled, "you cannot speak to me? From the day my family arrived, you have dismissed me. I cannot speak to you, I cannot communicate with you" He felt his nerves getting tangled, irritation simmering at the soles of his feet. Neteyam snapped his head away from you, letting out a low snarl. He began to slowly pace circles around you, smoothing the skin where his battle belt usually sits and taking shallow breaths. You turned in circles in sync with him to keep your eyes following him, "Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't thrilled when you flew in out of nowhere seeking refuge in my home! Can you blame me? I didn't even have one second to accept that making you Metkayina was my new responsibility, on top of keeping the clan safe from the war you brought even closer to us!" You spat, baring your teeth at him. He stopped, his tail whipped up and his eyes narrowed on you. Neteyam examined you, the way your third eyelid blinks when he's upset you, or the how your ears flick up when you're waiting for him to speak. He stepped forward, causing you to stumble backwards, pressing your back against the wall.

"Give you a break? New responsibility? I left my home, my clan. I had no choice; my family had no choice. I was Olo'eyktan and I left my people to come here and be lectured by some 19-year-old Tsahík so I can learn how to look for fucking shells!" Neteyam spoke harshly through clenched teeth, his words coming out as a hushed yell. His brows were knit, and lips thinned as his amber eyes traced your expression. Your face fell, you felt he had punctured your lungs, stripping you of your title, and deeming you nothing more than an childish reef Navi. He stood just inches from you, his aggravation radiating into the grove floor of your pod, crawling right up your spine. He briefly shut his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh, trying to reel in his temper. Neteyam mellowed, his eyes softening once he noticed how your body stiffened at his statement. He had always been so level-headed; he had no intention of speaking to you the way he did. Your eyes lazily traveled down to the floor then back up to his eyes, "you say that like I'm beneath you."

"That is not what I meant, 'eylan" Neteyam's hand was pressed against the wall near your neck, his head hung low to look up at your eyes. Your heart ached, a warrior like Neteyam did not see you as equal. He did not see you as capable.

"Then what did you mean? You are a warrior, you should've known better than to bring your war here." You remarked, your canines hanging out from your mouth. He flinched at the criticism, and his ears flicked down when he spoke, "You are not the only one with responsibilities, Tsakarem. I have to care for the people, for my family-"

You interrupted him, "I never said you didn't, but you have no idea what it was like to be on the other side, on the shore watching while Toruk Makto begs for sanctuary, knowing you'll bring your war to my people!" You gestured towards yourself, your words drenched in pain and anger. You gently pushed at his chest, causing his arm to slip down from the wall beside you, "you have no idea" You hissed, tears pricking the edge of your waterline.

Everything Neteyam had felt when you trained him, every fleeting thought he suppressed and only whispered to Ewya once the sun set resurfaced at the sight of you crumbling, "Is this why you have hated me? Is this what I have done to make you treat me so differently? Bring my war to you?" Neteyam peered down at you, puzzled eyes and a curled top lip. He ears laid flat, and his breath hit right against your collarbone. Neteyam swallowed, keeping both his arms at his side and lowering his head to better align with your eyes. Neteyam was hanging on to your words, desperately waiting for you to say anything.

Your eyes traced how his expressions contoured into guilt, pity, lowering himself to see you. You broke from his gaze, shaking your head and gently pushing at his chest, "stop, Neteyam, stop, no." He large hand wrapped around your wrists to keep you from knudging him off, "'eylan, 'eylan, talk to me, tell me what I did wrong" Neteyam pleaded.

You snatched your wrists from his grip, holding them to your chest, "stop! You are not Metkayina, you will never be one of us. You and your family will be the ones that get us killed by the Tawtute! That is why." You spat, your bioluminescent marking flickering with your surge of emotions. Neteyam felt his pleas melt at his feet, suddenly feeling his blood run hot. He snapped his head to the side, running his hand through his braids trying to recollect his cluttered thoughts and emotions. His fingers felt singed from your touch before you tore from his grasp. He took one step closer to you. You could feel it. You could feel it in the way his fingers trembled, his shoulders tensed, and his breathing stifled and shallow. You could feel that you went too far. Neteyam's eyes darkened, his vision trailing slowly up your arms, to your lips and into your eyes. He clenched his jaw, pointing his index finger to the center of your chest, "If Ewya believed you were a worthy Tsahík, if the people even trusted that you knew what you were doing, you would be able to protect your people. But you cannot because you are just some naive little healer, nothing more. That will never be me or my family’s fault.”

Never Enough

Katsuki Bakugou x F!Reader

Summary: Class 1-A takes a trip to a local show to train in Social Settings and parties. What happens when someone from Katsuki Bakugous past shows up?

Warnings: Fluff, song fic, some angst, cussing, enjoy!

Song used: Never Enough, The Greatest Showman.

All art and music is reserved to its original owner, I just own my fic 😛

Quirk: Angel Voice

User is able to sing/hum very well, can use her voice to heal others if needed, hence the name. When they sing/hum a soft, goldish-white glow will envelope them, giving them a heavenly look.

Draw Back: If user over uses their voice to heal, they can develop a severe sore throat and is drained of energy. If they're just singing and their quirk activates, if used for long periods of time it can still give them a severe sore throat and loss of voice for 12 hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Eh? The hell is this?" Katsuki Bakugou huffed, picking up a red envelope off his desk. It had a pink heart to seal it shut, but no name was signed or any hint to who it came from was seen anywhere.

"Ooooo, looks like Bakugou got a confession," one of his lackys teased, although he quickly straightened up when Bakugou glared in his direction.

Opening the letter, he noticed it was a note addresses to him, and it was, of course, a confession.

'Dear Bakugou,

You may have never noticed me, but if you don't mind I'd like to share something with you. Please meet me under the tree in the court yard after school.'

The note ended, still not giving away who it was.

"EH? WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT. WASTING MY FUCKING TIME, DUMBASS EXTRA!" Bakugou shouted, blowing up the note with his quirk.

Huffing, he grabbed his bag and stormed out the door, his lackys quickly following, wondering where he was heading so suddenly.

~

Outside under the Sakura Tree in the court yard, stood a young girl with (y/h) hair that was pulled up into a bun with a small (f/c) ribbon. Looking around with (e/c) eyes, (y/n) couldn't help but wonder if Bakugou would even show up. Everyone knew he was a harsh and critical person, not scared to voice his opinion to anybody.

(Y/n) exhaled, leaning against the tree and was about to give up hope as it was already fifteen past last class, when she heard someone yell at her, "Hey! Crazy Bitch! Did you write that stupid note on my desk,"

Turning, she couldn't help but smile at Bakugou who was glaring at her, rushing up to her. Cheeks flushed as she nodded, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

"Y-yes, I'm (L/n) (Y/n), I just wanted to tell you, t-that," But she was cut off by Bakugou setting off his quirk next to her face, making her flinch back with wide eyes.

"LISTEN! I'M NOT HERE TO FUCK AROUND WITH EXTRAS LIKE YOU, I'M PLANNING ON BEING NUMBER ONE, THE BEST HERO EVER GOT THAT DAMMIT?! I WON'T WASTE TIME WITH ROMANCE WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR ME. TRY SOMEONE ELSE WHOSE AS DUMB AS YOU," Bakugou screamed, his voice traveling and making birds fly away.

(Y/n) felt tears come to the surface as her cheeks grew warm again, out of anger and humiliation. "I-I just wanted to tell you I admired you! I wanted to get to know you! But now I see w-why no one bothers with you," she cried out, tears flowing down her cheeks freely now, glossy (e/c) eyes stared at his own vermillion eyes that squinted at her, expressing his annoyed face even more.

"Like I give a shit. Get out of my way," he shoved past her, knocking her shoulder that made her fall back into the tree, grabbing the trunk to steady herself. "Like I said, you'll never be enough for me. Number One Hero deserves another Number One, and you're basically at the fucking bottom," he carried on walking, sticking his arm out to give her a thumbs down.

(Y/n) stared after him in shock, wiping her tears from her cheek as she sniffled. Even though she knew he could be aggressive, she didn't think he'd react like this. Picking up her bag, she walked the opposite way from Bakugou, making a promise to herself that she'll be enough. Wither that's for him or someone else, others will know that she'll always be enough. One way or another.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

It had been three years since (Y/n) had tried to confess to Bakugou, in that time she was discovered for her amazing voice, quirk or not. Being a young teen idol at seventeen years old was a big deal, to most people at least. To (Y/n) this just proved she was enough to be bigger and better than what she was told she'd be.

Currently, she stood in front of a floor length mirror, taking a mirror selfie to post on her Instagram to hype up her fans for her performance tonight at the Hero Gala. A get together/dinner of sorts for all Heros, and (Y/n) had been asked to perform for the Heros and she happily agreed.

Even though she didn't follow the Hero course most people her age dreamed of, she still felt as if her music was a Hero to others. To comfort them in the darkness of night when they cried alone, to hype them up when they needed happiness. It had been there for her, and now she was there for others too.

Smiling at the picture, she posted it

"Can't wait to perform for our Pro Heros tonight! #IsThisReal? #MusicForTheSoul #YouAreEnough "

Placing her phone on her desk, she gazed out the window into the early afternoon sky. Even though she had to leave soon to get ready, she still enjoyed simple moments to calm her down before a performance. 'Tonight is gonna be amazing,'

~~

Elsewhere, at U.A High School, class 1-A, now grown up to 3-A is getting ready to dismiss for the day. Aizawa had gone through all their basic materials for the day, and was hoping to go home for a nap, today wouldn't be the case though.

"Alright, settle down," Aizawa coughed out, his quirk activating to scare them into silence. Even after all these years it still worked.

"Forgot to mention it to you, but you all have class tonight," he smirked, knowing how to get under their skin. Protests broke out among the students, each complaining about one thing or another.

"But tonight is movie night!" Mina whined, pouting as others agreed. It had become a tradition now with the classmates to have a movie night every Friday night. "Well tonight will be about how to act in a Professional Social setting," Aizawa sighed, rolling his next to loosen the strain that was starting to build.

Questioning faces now looked at him, all wondering what he meant.

"Tonight is the Pro Hero Gala. The biggest social event for any pro hero, other than Pro Hero Billboard announcements. You'll will attend tonight and learn how to grace society. The bus will be leaving at six tonight so I suggest you leave and do whatever you need to do. Costumes don't need to be worn unless you want to wear them." Aizawa finished, Mina and Hagakure screeching about needing to look their best and dragging the rest of the girls out of the classroom with them.

The boys, now young adults, all sat there in disbelief. Except for Aoyama who jumped up and spun out the door, "I must get ready! I need to look magnifique~"

"Alright guys! Let's show them how awesome and manly us future Pros are!" Kirishima grinned, his shark teeth on display as he grabbed his bag, standing up with the rest of the boys who shook off the shock.

"Yeah yeah, whatever shitty hair," Bakugou grumbled, aggravated at the thought of being on display tonight like a doll. "Come on Kaachan it won't be so bad," Midoriya smiled, but was shaking at the thought of being in public, with all those Pros.

"Pfft, whatever Deku. Let's just get this shit over with," with that the boys headed out.

~~

"Oh my gosh! Guys! You'll never guess who is performing tonight!" Hagakure squealed, her baby blue dress showing off her body but no one could see her. "Ooh~ Who?" Mina questioned, turning her head to look at her friend.

They were all loading into the bus, some of them dressed to the nines in dresses and suits. Others just wore their costumes.

"(L/N) (Y/N)! The super pretty teen idol! I just saw her post on Instagram," Momo smiled, "She must be excited to perform, her voice is truly beautiful,"

"Uh.. Who?" Sero questioned, having tuned into the convo late. "(L/N) (Y/N), she's a super pretty singer! ~Ribbit~ She's our age, but does charity, fundraisers, and even helps out at hospitals. Her quirk let's her sing so angelic, but she can also heal people, ribbit~" Tsuyu informed, wearing a green dress that was simple but cute.

"Really~~ A super hot teen idol will be there~~I wonder if she'll give me chills~~" Mineta drooled, shaking as his thoughts wandered. "Do we have to take him?" Mina glared as Sero taped him up, Tsuyu knocking him out with her tongue.

Bakugou only listened, slightly surprised at the name. 'Why does that name sound familiar? Stupid shitty extras' he thought, frowning.

"Kaachan are you okay?" Midoriya asked, Kirishima also popped into the conversation too. "Yeah dude, your face is gonna get stuck like that,"

"Deku, why does that name sound familiar? Do we know them or something?" Bakugou questioned, arching his eyebrow at the green haired boy.

Midoriya looked shocked, "you mean you don't remember her? She was in our class back in middle school. (L/n)-chan was discovered for her voice after we graduated, I'd figured you would know though," "oh yeah? And why's that damn Deku?" "Well she always seemed to follow you around Kaachan. Everyone knew she liked you, I think I remember people talking about her confessing to you or wanting to...." Midoriya rambled off, trying to recall the event that had happened years ago.

Bakugou clicked his teeth, eyebrows furrowed together, "SHUT UP! WE GET IT DAMMIT" he seethed, teeth grinding as his aggravation went sky high.

"You know, you may wanna get all that aggression out before we get there," Kaminari smirked, looking smug as it caused another rise out of Bakugou.

Todoroki looked at them and then to Midoriya who was still muttering, "should I get my rage out too??" He questioned, tilting his head as Tokoyami shook his head in disbelief that his classmates still acted like this.

~~

Standing in one of the dressing rooms offered to her, (Y/n) couldn't help but giggle and twirl in her new dress. Not one to dress up this fancy, even for a performance, it actually felt amazing.

Hair let down, falling to its natural length in soft waves that had been curled a few moments ago. Natural makeup with some glitter and highlighter allowed the lights and her quirk to really make her dazzling (e/c) eyes shimmer.

Her dress was a beautiful off the shoulder floor length dress. Intriguing lace sleeves that were detailed and an eye grabbing (f/c) that complimented the rest of the dress in the same color. Hugging her figure down to her knees where it flared out, a gorgeous mermaid style gown also with accents of lace. A simple, but drop dead dress that made her whole appearance one to grab all the attention.

Humming a small tune as she turned to the mirror to do a last check up, she couldn't help but let the warmth of her quirk over flow as it surrounded her. It was almost like a hug, comfortable and tight, but warm and inviting. The goldish-white hue making the room seem that much more heavenly.

A knock at the door interrupted her, "come in," she called, her glow starting to fade out as an older woman entered. A clip board in hand as she greeted the young idol.

"Hello there! My name is Izumi Moi, are you ready? The Heros are arriving so I thought you might wanna mingle before your big performance, which by the way I'm a huge fan," Moi gushed, bowing in greeting.

"Oh thank you! I would love to mingle with everyone, can you please show me the way?" (Y/N) smiled, causing Moi to blush from the cuteness and nod, gesturing toward the door for her to exit first. "Thank you, Moi," (Y/n) thanked, stepping out the door and down the hall towards the elevator. "Are you nervous

for tonight?" Moi questioned, (Y/n) shook her head, "Not really, I love to perform!" Moi smiled in understanding, 'Ma'am, the Hero Class from U.A has arrived,' came a voice from Moi's watch.

"I'm glad they could make it, we'll be there in a few short moments," Moi spoke back, the conversation catching (Y/n) attention. "Hero Class from U.A?" She voiced her thoughts, Moi smiling at her, "Yes! As part of their training we've invited them to see how these Galas are held. Class 3-A, you know come to think of it, these are the same kids who were attacked by villains all those times," Moi finally realized, her hand coming up to her chin to rest and help process the thought.

(Y/n)'s eyes widened. Knowing very well who was in the class, having followed the news and over the years had fundraisers and charity events for those affected by the LOV attacks. 'Okay now I'm starting to freak out,' she shivered, suddenly feeling a cold sweat break out as the nerves hit her.

Upon reaching the Galas main hall for the event, live music was being performed for dancing and enjoyable background music. "Well here we are, you're set to perform in about thirty minutes, I'll come get you in twenty so you can have a moment to compose yourself," Moi smiled, sending a playful wink (Y/n)'s way, having seen the nerves suddenly take hold of the young girl.

(Y/n) nodded and walked in, breathing to calm herself down. Looking around the room she could see some of the Pros taking notice of her and smiling excitedly. They know of her work and respected it.

Mt.Lady came right up to her, not taking a second to let her excitement flow, "Oh my goooossh. It's so nice to meet you, your voice and acts of Heroism are truly inspiring," Mt.Lady took (Y/n) hands into her own, a bright smile on her face.

"Thank you! It's a pleasure to meet you too! By the way, I loved your last interview with Midnight. You two never fail to make me laugh," (Y/n) giggled, finally feeling the nerves slipping away from this warm conversation.

Moving across the room, (Y/n) interacted with all kinds of Heros. Her favorite had to be Fatgum whi offered her favorite candy which she couldn't resist, she even offered a smile to Suneater who gave a weak smile back for hiding his face with his hood.

"NO WAY," a voice broke through (Y/n)'s ears as she turned toward the voice, seeing a group of teens standing there. Offering a smile and a nod in acknowledgement, she waved them over. A girl who was all pink and a floating blue dress bolted over, leaving the others in the dust cloud.

"Hello there, you must be the infamous Class 3-A," (Y/n) spoke first, knowing if the other two girls did she might be stuck for a while. "You know us?" A girl with brown hair and chubby pink cheeks asked, pointing to herself.

"Of course! I've followed the news on your class, it must be hard fighting all those villains so I hope you truly get to relax and have fun tonight," poised with a smile, the idol unknowingly made them all feel warm inside.

"(L/n)-chan, it's good to s-see you," came a voice from behind the girls, making them turn and see the boys standing. Midoriya smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

(Y/n) lit up all of a sudden, eyes wide with remembrance. "MIDI-CHAAN," she called excitedly, rushing over to pull the boy into a hug. "Hehe~You wanna give me a squeeze too," a creepy voice came from behind her, causing her to turn and squish Mineta down with her heel. "Touch me and you'll never see the light of day," she growled out. The others felt a chill go up their spine, this angelic girl can sure be a demon when wanting to be.

Smiling at the group, (Y/n) apologized explaining she's worked with assault victims before and doesn't condone any behavior like that. "I apologize on his behalf! No true Hero would ever act on his sexual impulses," Iida chimed in, raising his hand as he grabbed Mineta and slung him like a coat over his other arm.

"Its alright, just please keep him occupied," (Y/n) sweatdropped, a sheepish grin taking a hold of her lips. Turning to resume taking to Midoriya, she locked eyes with the one person she wished she hadn't.

Bakugou Katsuki.

They held eye contact, neither one wanting to look away first. Bakugou had recognized her, the shy girl from middle school. The one he had told that she'd never be enough for him.

He'd done some growing these past years, learning how he should behave. He knew what he said was rude and childish, his ego filled self seeing her as a weakling. Useless and not needed.

However, seeing her again, hearing all the things she's done to help people without being a Hero. Serving the civilians through actions and words.

He was the first to look away, gritting his teeth in annoyance at his own thoughts.

"I see you haven't changed," her voice was like a knife cutting through the silence that seemed to swallow just the two of them.

He didn't sat anything, choosing to keep himself quiet. "Ms.(Y/n) it's time to go," Moi's voice sounded, (Y/n) nodding and turning to leave. Yet she looked over her shoulder back to Bakugou and left him with some simple words.

"We'll see who'll never be enough,"

~~

The lights dimmed as everyone turned their attention to the stage where a small orchestra sat to the left of it. Standing in the center of the stage was non other than (Y/n), the spotlight shining down on her as everyone waited in anticipation. Finally, the piano began to play a soft and slow melody.

I'm trying to hold, my breathe

Let it stay this way

Can't let this moment end

You set off a dream in me

Getting louder now

Can you hear it echoing

Take my hand, will share this with me

Cause darling without you

Her voice flowed without the need of a microphone. Honey smooth and silky, everyone in the audience looking on in awe at the beautiful and enchanting girl. When the music suddenly began to play bolder, her voice following the music.

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Bakugou felt his heart stop.

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world

But it'll never be enough

Never be enough

For me

Her voice blasted the melody, blending with the music as everyone couldn't help but admire her. Class 3-A could only look on with mixed reactions, yet Bakugou seemed to be the only one truly understanding the message she was sending.

Never, never

Never, never

Never, for me

For me

Never enough

Never enough

Never enough

For me

For me

For me

Her voice sang with emotion, her hands moving to convey the physical attributes to her lungs singing out her feelings. Her gaze though was locked onto Bakugou, both of them eyeing the other down. 'Can you see me now?' Her glow slowly started to breakthrough 'I am worth enough, I can be enough'

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

Never be enough

For me

Her voice belted out, some pros having to wipe their eyes from the pure emotion. The students could only wonder who could hurt her to inspire this kind of song.

Never, never

Never, never

Never, for me

For me

Never enough

Never, never

Never enough

Never, never

Never enough

For me

For me

For me

Bakugou looked in awe. He felt as if he was seeing her for the first time. The music has suddenly cut out, leaving a silence before the last words slipped through her mouth

For me

The cheers were automatic, causing her to smile yet her eyes stayed on Bakugou, tears filled her eyes as her golden aura slowly started to fade, the lights coming back on.

"Thank you all so much for the hard work you do to keep us safe! I know I speak for all the civilians when I say without you who knows where our world would be!" (Y/n) cleared her throat, smiling through the pain in her eyes as she addressed the crowd who was still cheering for her.

Glancing back at Bakugou, she watched as he slipped out of the crowd and out onto one of the garden balconies. It was then she decided it was now or never to fully get her words out to him. Face to face.

~~

"Stupid shitty Gala," Bakugou muttered, leaning against the railing. Seeing her singing had brought a feeling out into his chest and mind, clouding his judgment and how he should react. Seeing the raw emotion and knowing that his words still affected her all these years later, like it had for Deku but they had made up. Sort of.

"Well, what did you think?" Came a voice from behind him, causing him to turn sharply, seeing her standing there with her arms behind her back, the glow of the moon giving her an even more angelic look.

"Its alright," he answered, looking anywhere but her, hands shoved in his pockets of his slacks. "Hmm, I see," she replied, taking a few steps closer.

"You've done an amazing job at becoming a Hero," she continued, looking out over the balcony. "Huh, yeah I'm sure you're singing my praises, Angel," huffing he turned back to her, now next to him yet about two feet away.

"Pun intended?" She joked, seeing a smirk cross his face. "Whatever makes you feel better," he answered back.

"Talking about that day would make me feel better," she shot back, making him drop his shoulders as a seldom expression crossed his face.

"Look, I was a damn jerk alright. Get your screaming shit over with, probably long over due anyways," he exhaled, knowing he was paying for his past ego now.

"Mm, I think I'm good," she hummed, "But I will tell you how I feel about you,"

"Here we go," he braced himself for the harsh words coming his way.

"I think you're brave," (Y/n) smiled, eyes closing as she felt him snap his head toward her. "You've always been straight forward so I'll be straight forward with you too. That day I merely wanted to get to know you, to hope that maybe one day we could've been more. I admired your determination, I admired how you always spoke your mind,"

"Even now, I've seen in the news how as a young Hero you've done so much, protected so many people. I get the feeling you had a bit of a reality check, huh," she teased, looking to meet his vermillion eyes that looked back at her with surprise and shock, yet happiness also appeared in his eyes.

Chuckling, he nodded," Yeah I guess I am pretty fucking great, at least you inspire people every day. I just punch dumbass people in the face,"

This had pulled a laugh out of (Y/n) which made Bakugou smile.

"What do you say we start over, Angel?" Bakugou suggested, sticking his hand out to her. (Y/n) 's eyes widened in shock.

Singing her feelings out, all her past turmoil seemed to have subsided a little. Having talked to Bakugou finally, she could see how he had changed from the bratty fourteen year old he was to a more mature, inspiring and even eye catching young man.

"You gonna leave me hanging, Angel? Not very lady like," he grinned, trying to hide his inner fear at rejection.

Yet her eyes lit up and a bright smile graced her face, "I'd love to," she agreed, reaching her hand out to him.

Sliding their hands together, they introduced eachother to one another again.

"Bakugou Katsuki, but you can call me Katsuki, Angel"

"(L/n) (Y/n) but you can call me (Y/n) or even Angel since that seems to stick now," (Y/n) laughed, "I do have a question though,"

"Oh?" "Am I enough for you?" "You always were, I just wasn't enough for you. Am I now?"

"Hmmm, let's find out together shall we?,"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! I'm still trying to slowly get back into the writing scene since it has been a while. Let me know what you think!

Goodnight lovelies~🥵😜👀

“Succubus in Training” Bakugou x Reader

Summary: Class 1A has a Sex-Ed class that teaches them about a new species of humans that have sexual quirks and can be summoned. The Bakusquad decides it would be funny to test it out on an unsuspecting Bakugou. However, after you show up and rock his world, Bakugou is the one who will have the last laugh.

Word Count: 3,903

Warnings: Smut

Author’s Note: Happy Birthday, Bakugou Katsuki~ I love you so fucking much. I wish I could give you a special present today, but instead, I’m going to have to fantasize about it. Happy Birthday baby~

PART 2

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