Zahra Wanted To Argue And Assure She Was Indeed Doing Just That, But The Words Didn't Make Their Way

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It'd be way easier than trying to trick her into her carrier and then try and carry her around. She does not like it one bit and I can't blame her." Despite her efforts, Circe despised the very sight of her carrier and would run and hide the moment Zahra pulled it out. She had of course splurged on the nicest, most comfortable one on the market but Circe did not seem to appreciate the luxury and would've most likely preferred to be carried in a food delivery bag. Her eyes grew wide as Julia described the account she had found. A delighted burst of laughter. "Really? I definitely need to check that out. Sounds like a dream, just a guy and his cat riding a bike."

Returning the books was blessedly an easy ordeal, and Zahra could at least congratulate herself on getting the haul back before any late fees had managed to materialise. She had managed to accomplish something that day and felt better for it. "Oh, I don't know. I love a good fun fact or a useless piece of information but medicine? Don't think I have the brain capacity for that." That being said, she was always eager to learn new things and could imagine far worse ways to spend an afternoon. "Lead the way."

“Oh well that makes sense, especially in New York I guess. I’m not sure how many cabs would let you in with a cat on the loose so at least with her in a pram thing you can just walk there or get the underground.” If it wasn’t raining and Julia was in that position she would one hundred percent walk so as to avoid the hell of New York’s subway. Useful, sure. Pleasant? Never. “She’d be meowing at everyone you walk past. I was on instagram the other day doomscrolling because I couldn’t sleep and this account came up about this guy who rides around with his cat in the basket of his bicycle. This fluffy white thing that just sits there and looks around - it was actually kind of adorable in a wildly impractical way.” 

Following the other towards the returns she listened as she spoke about not being tempted to pick up any medical books, understanding the concept of having different interests but the idea of walking into that section of a library without taking something home with you entirely alien to her. “I’m sure you would understand more than you give yourself credit for. I mean of course the terms are complex if you don’t know what they mean I guess - that is quite specific. Plus when they delve into more detailed specifications…” She trailed off, putting the bag of books down onto the floor once they arrived at the returns desk. @ofzahras

Zahra was glad Matt seemed to be comfortable with keeping the conversation flowing, meaning she could take a backseat and concentrate on listening. It suited her just fine. She could remember her first few weeks in the city, how exciting and big it had felt. She had worn down her very favorite pair of shoes with the amount of walking she had done, completely in awe of her new home. "Those are still good places to visit. Although I guess the glitz and glamour wears off eventually." She glanced at him quickly. "What do you plan on doing now that you live here?"

"Oh..." Matt brought his fingers to his own lips and closed them with an imaginary zip. "You got it." He smiled kindly and started walking out of the library towards the hot outside. "That's all I know about New York, places to eat." He chuckled. "Whenever we visited with my family, all we did was go out to eat and visit all the parks and museums and... well, libraries." He gestured behind them. "But the tourist life is behind me now."

please stop asking me how i'm doing, idk i'm ignoring it

“i am afraid that if i open myself i will not stop pouring. (why do i fear becoming a river. what mountain gave me such shame.)”

— Erosion // Jamie Oliveira

[ aiysha hart, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! ZAHRA HAMED just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for TWO MONTHS, working as a POSTDOCTORAL RESEARCHER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 34 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit OBSTINATE and RESTLESS , but i know them to be OPEN-MINDED and RESOURCEFUL. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS! — 

here's zahra's pinterest for the vibes.

FULL NAME: zahra hamed DATE OF BIRTH: may 11, 1990 GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis woman, she/her

ORIENTATION: bisexual OCCUPATION: postdoctoral researcher PLACE OF BIRTH: minneapolis, minnesota  FAMILY: mother, father PETS: a black cat called circe

HEIGHT: 5′10′’ HAIR COLOUR: dark brown EYE COLOUR: dark brown

trigger warnings: mentions of religion, infertility, emotional distress, and smoking.

she’s an only child, born to a mixed race and interfaith family. her christian mother and muslim father brought her up in an environment where questions were encouraged and zahra was taught to argue her views and research new ideas.

despite her status as somewhat of a miracle child - her parents had already come to accept they wouldn’t be able to have children of their own due to a host of fertility issues - zahra grew up knowing a lot was expected of her. both of her parents had grown up with very little and had been able to use education as their way out of difficult home situations. she doesn’t resent her parents in the slightest, but sometimes wonders what her life would now look like if she been given just a bit more space and freedom to discover and make mistakes. still, she’s grateful for the drive her parents instilled in her as it has helped her to keep going even during times of distress. that being said, she has unfortunately picked up a host of rather unhealthy coping mechanisms for said stressful situations.

after graduating from high school at the top of her class, zahra packed her bags and moved to durham, north carolina, where she would go on to attend duke university, studying religion and philosophy. she later completed her phd in columbia university, writing her thesis about religious dialogue and pluralism.

while her life hasn’t always been easy or uncomplicated, it has been rather streamline. she has struggled and put in an enormous amount of hard work to get where she is now, but things have generally gone well for her. however, she has recently gone through something of a personal crisis and is really struggling to find her feet again. to put it simply, zahra has become wildly disillusioned with the academia and is suddenly really not sure she’s happy with her choices in life.

her postdoctoral research has now taken her back to new york city where she conducts research in and around the city. well, that’s what she’s supposed to be doing. however, she has run into a real slump and is struggling to get anything productive done. her self-esteem has taken a hit due to the resent developments, as her sense of self has been so deeply intertwined with her academic and professional success. she previously did a disappearing act, leaving her life in nyc behind, and is currently trying to get her shit together. trying being the operative word. she knows she doesn’t have the time to fuck around, but that’s kind of exactly what she’s doing.

will become visibly grumpy when asked about the state of her research project. that being said, she is procrastinating by researching other things, and has, amongst other things, taught herself french while trying to avoid all her responsibilities. she will soon start picking up and abandoning all sorts of fun pastimes in the hopes of distraction.

while she can be bit of a hermit - she spends most of her time alone, trying desperately to read and write, or avoiding said activities - zahra isn’t the sort of shy, serious person people might expect her to be. she can be incredibly talkative and opinionated, even downright bossy, and genuinely enjoys meeting new people. sometimes she just needs a friend to drag her outside.

looks kind of intimidating unless she’s making a conscious effort to appear approachable. while evidently very intelligent and well-meaning for the most part, zahra sometimes struggles when it comes to socialising and pleasantries.

zahra back arrived to nyc around two-ish months ago, so here are some super vague connection ideas for anyone interested!

the stress has led to a lot of sleepless nights, resulting in her becoming a real night owl. she can be spotted frequenting places that are open late, and can be found chain-smoking and scrolling endlessly on social media. she would've undoubtedly run into some folks with similar schedules and habits.

any people with fun, interesting hobbies. after forming some sort of a connection, she would undoubtedly pester these individuals to teach her stuff. your girl needs to be distracted from the looming doom of her research project.

zahra enjoys noisy music. so, a person willing to accompany her to gigs around the area. she's happiest when it's so loud she can't hear her own thoughts.

definitely people she met while doing her phd in nyc. she left the city a few years ago, but would've spent around five-ish years there before skipping town. she would've definitely had friends and even little romances during that time.

Even on her most evasive of days, Zahra was unlikely to turn down an offer to meet up with the selected few people she had managed to genuinely befriend. She had sensed Vismaya might have been in need of a good venting session, and no one could fault Zahra for her listening skills. In fact, she often preferred it, finding great comfort in being able to offer some solace even when she couldn't offer anything but her time.

A smile smoothed over her sharp features the moment she spotted her friend. "Oh, you're one to talk. Look at you," she laughed, the absolutely delight of seeing Vismaya evident in her voice. "Are you sure you're not filming an ad campaign for the place? It should be illegal to look that beautiful when eating pizza." Despite her proclivity for awkwardness, compliments came easy to Zahra when they were steeped in truth. "I'd love some pizza. Let's start with that, yeah?"

closed starter for @ofzahras | around 7pm, the newsroom bar in queens

Work, work, work, that was the bittersweet life sentence that Vismaya had imprisoned herself within-- at least it felt like a prison, after a particularly grueling week in the office, and weeks without being able to see her friends. She needed this night out, even if it was just a bunch of overpriced drinks in an overcrowded bar on a tuesday night. Because of her need to be away from her apartment as soon as possible, Vismaya had arrived at the newsroom much earlier than she'd asked Zahra to meet with her, and was already three slices deep into an exorbitantly priced pizza margherita. Just as she finished off her first glass of champagne, she spot her friend out of the corner of her eye, and lit up like a christmas tree. "Z!" she called, all too enthusiastically, standing to wave her friend over to their quiet corner table, champagne and excitement turning her into a true spitfire: "I'm so happy you're here. Did you get even more beautiful? You did. You always do. How are you? I hope the traffic getting here wasn't too bad. How's school going? Do you want some pizza?"

It was clear Zahra was itching to get out of the situation and forget all about it now that her breath had steadied and her arms didn't ache quite as much. He hadn't seem bothered to be helping her but she still felt embarrassed, her cheeks having turned a traitorous shade of red from more than just the physical activity.

"No need", she assured, shaking her head as she stood up hurriedly and pocketed her wallet with the library card in it. "I'll stop by to eat something." Zahra went to straighten her shirt before glancing at the man, managing a brief smile that didn't quite reach her dark eyes. "Thank you again. Uh, it was very nice of you."

Matt looked at the card in his hand and gave her a nod. "Zahra." he stated, slapping the card into his palm once. She didn't give him her name when he introduced himself but it was at least good to know it now. "I'll be right back then."

He smiled politely and picked the bag of books back up into his arms and disappeared further into the library, only to be back a few minutes later with a receipt and bottle of sweet lemonade he found on a vending machine. Matt offered it to her along with the card. "Take this for the road back."

Being taken care of made her feel like a kid, small and not in control. Her lips curved down in a slight frown before she managed to catch herself. He was just being kind, far kinder than he had to be with a complete stranger. So, instead of turning into a petulant child, Zahra nodded curtly and offered her library card without any further arguments. She really didn't have it in her. "Good to meet you."

"Yeah, yeah. It was just a long hike," she answered, her voice low, "but I'm fine. Need to start exercising more, I guess. Or stop lugging around so many hardbacks. Maybe both."

"Maybe I could get your library card and return these for you. And I'll find you some cold water." Matt offered quickly, Putting the books down on the floor by his own foot. "I'm Matt, and don't worry about it, really. I'm glad I was close by to help."

Matt looked around the building. At least the AC was on. He imagined carrying that weight in New York City's summer would exhaust anyone, he couldn't blame the brunette. "It is really hot out, you should just take a breath here." He smiled and squeezed her arm gently before he pulled back and crossed his arms across his chest, just waiting on what to do next. "Have you eaten anything today?"

Aiysha Hart as Dr. Miriam Shephard in ‘A Discovery of Witches’

"It does sound nice, and I'm glad you liked it. I don't think I'm much of a beach person myself," she admitted with a shrug, "not that I've really tried being one." She wasn't entirely sure when she had decided she didn't care for lounging around in the sun but apparently she had done just that at one point in her life. "Luckily there are some beaches not too far from here. So, you know, you can still enjoy that even if it isn't quite the same."

"Well, this is my second time around living here. I first moved here to do a PhD program ages ago. Finished that and worked elsewhere for a bit. Now I'm back." She looked down, almost embarrassed for sharing something that felt both meaningless and hugely important at the same time. "I guess you could say I liked the city enough to move right back."

As they sat down, Matt picked up the menu as well and looked over the pasta section of it. "Can't go wrong with a good pasta, right?" he gave a small nod and chose what he was going to eat before he looked up, putting the menu down to answer her questions.

"Honestly, I loved LA, yeah. The weather is great and living near the beach is not half bad." He chuckled. "And I loved my house there too. I never imagined moving back to the East Coast but a really big work opportunity came up so I was happy to take it." Matt trailed the edge of the menu with his fingers, lost in thought for a moment before he looked up again. "What about you? Why did you move to New York?"