Im Going To Be Eating My Wendys Frosty With My Hands Like The Old Ones Intended

Big fan of both Strong Varian and Air Jailed Hugo

couple of ranpoes

Dick and Tim wanting desperately to connect and reconnect with Jason after he comes back as Red Hood and after 4 hours of gossiping and debating on the best way to convince him to hang out with them they decide to start getting kidnapped and held hostage as civilians in Hood’s territory, their thinking being that if it’s in Crime Alley he can’t ignore it and if it’s their civilian identities then they can’t ‘get themselves out of trouble’ and Jason KNOWS this so he’d have to show up and help them. so they just start throwing themselves into danger as often as possible to force Jason into interacting with them and try to trick him into having a conversation after the rescue in the hopes that he’ll start to like them eventually. the only problem is Hood is treating it as work he has to do, and so he literally just busts in, shoots the kidnappers, then silently unties them and leaves to go run his next errand/work his next case.

And then one day.

Dick, chained to a pillar: this time he’ll have to talk to us, i literally got tortured slightly! he HAS to ask if i’m ok

Tim, chained to the other side: yeah i still think letting them break your leg was a bit far.

*Red Hood and Robin bust in together*

Dick:

Tim:

Tim: hey you see him too right

Dick: why the fuck is Damian with him

*after they’ve been freed*

Damian: hurry up Todd, the imbeciles can get themselves home. our reservation is in ten minutes.

Jason: are you sure Dick can even walk-?

Dick, completely ignoring his injuries: WHY IS DAMIAN WITH YOU?!?!!

Damian and Jason: *look at each other confused*

Jason: …because we’re about to get lunch and then go to a museum?

Tim: why the fuck will you hang out with HIM and not US?!?!

Jason:

Damian: what on earth are you two talking about?

Jason: because he invited me? i mean, you guys could come if you want it’s just the reservation was made for two and it’s at this fancy ass place that doesn’t take changes closer than a month before-

Damian, nodding: we have been wanting to go there for a while-

Jason: -s’ really fancy-

Dick and Tim:

Dick: wait wait wait. if you’re fine hanging out with us, why do you always ignore us when we try to talk to you!!?!

Jason:

Jason: wdym?

Tim: we’ve been getting kidnapped in the alley like every week for the past three months and we don’t even have your number!

Jason:

Jason:

Jason, baffled:

Damian: did you ever actually ask for his number, Drake?

Tim:

Dick:

Tim and Dick: oh.

just everybody assuming that because Jason doesn’t wanna acknowledge Bruce’s existence that means he also hates his siblings, when in reality he thinks his relationship with his brothers is chill, and Damian’s the only one to really clock that no, Jason isn’t avoiding them, he’s just…. really antisocial and doesn’t think to do stuff with people unless they reach out to him explicitly clear that they Want To Spend Time Together so it’s literally just like

Dick, in tears: my little brother HATES ME

Jason: yeah me and Dick are real close. why haven’t i talked to him for two weeks? uh…. i mean. i just don’t have anything to say? nothing relevant to him has happened so i haven’t thought to. why?

Damian remembers that time when Talia presumed Jason dead after sending him off to train with a reminder to ‘keep her updated’ and then getting radio silence for four months. he finally shows back up one day all casual and is genuinely baffled when Talia yells at him

‘I SAID KEEP ME UPDATED JASON. WE ONLY JUST GOT YOU BACK I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD AGAIN’

‘oh my b. in my defence i was busy training and like. you already knew i was training. so it didn’t seem relevant?’

‘you can’t have ONLY trained’

‘i mean no i had evenings and weekends off. but i was just playing chess online- did you know you can play against the computer? it’s addictive as fuck-‘

Damian got to Gotham and his first priority was ‘text Todd because by GOD i know he won’t remember to text me.’

I actually love this duo, deranged and infant is a top tier dynamic

i do love the idea of the wayne kids giving bernard shovel talks about taking care of tim and all that but also give me batfam who are just as protective of bernard as they are of each other.

give me bernard, attending his first wayne gala as tim's significant other. having a suit custom tailored and funded by bruce even if bernard insists it's not necessary because he already has one. arriving at the gala anxious because of course he is, it's a goddamn socialite event, but being protected from every side by the wayne kids even when tim is dragged away.

Socialite: Oh, and who might you be?

Bernard: Oh, um, hi. I'm Bernard Dowd, nice to meet you.

Socialite: Dowd? I've never heard of your family before. Who...?

Bernard: I'm not here with my family, miss, I'm here with my boyfriend.

Socialite: ... Boyfriend?

Bernard: Yeah, I'm here with Tim.

Socialite, frowning: Tim... as in Drake-Wayne? He has a boyfriend?

Dick, coming up next to Bernard: He sure does! Bernard here is practically one of ours now, aren't you? He matters to Timmy, so he matters to us.

Bernard: Dick—

Dick: C'mon, let's get you back to Timmy. Farewell, Mrs!

Bernard: I could've handled that.

Dick: All the rules that apply to my siblings during galas apply to you too. I'm sure you could've, but you shouldn't have to. I've got your back too, now, yeah?

Bernard: ... Yeah. Thanks, Dick.

Jason, coming up to Bernard at the bar: Not to freak you out, kid, but there's a guy starin' at ya from the other side of the bar. Y'know him or should I encourage him to look away?

Bernard, startled: Huh? (looks around) Oh. No, I don't know him. Why... is he looking at me like that, actually?

Jason, scowling: 'S just how the slimy fuckers at these events are. Can't keep their eyes off anything that's small, young or pretty. Disgusting. I'll deal with him— where's your annoying other half gone, inferior blondie?

Bernard: Tim? He got pulled away for quote; 'something important' by some lady. He said he'll meet me here after he's done, so I've been waiting.

Jason: Huh. If I see him I'll point him yer way. Hey, don't be 'fraid to ask any of us questions or for help if ya need it. We know the best how daunting this shit can be.

Bernard, genuinely touched: ... Thanks, Jason.

Jason: Yeah, yeah. Don't tell Timmers I said that, though, he'll call me a loser.

Bernard, laughing: I won't.

Bernard, being talked to by several people at once and a bit overwhelmed by the attention: Uh— I'm—

Damian, stepping between him and the socialites: Dowd. I require your assistance.

Bernard: Um— hi, Damian— with what?

Damian: You will see when we get there. Follow me, Drake's more tolerable half.

Bernard: Okay... so what do you need from me?

Damian: Nothing. You seemed to dislike the attention from all of the nosy adults over there. It was the most efficient way of extracting you from the situation.

Bernard: Oh. Thanks, Damian.

Damian: Tt, don't thank me yet, Dowd. I am still criticising your choice in romantic partners.

Bernard: Didn't you threaten me with a katana to not dampen Tim's mood in any way shape or form?

Damian: Slander. I said quote 'if you make Drake more annoying by breaking his heart I'm going to maim you.' I don't see how you got the message you did from that.

Bernard, grinning: Sure, Damian. Sure.

Dick: You have a brother?? Is he Talia and Bruce’s too?

Damian: Of course, we share the same parentage after all.

Tim: How old is he?

Damian: He says it reset after he went into the Lazarus pit. So he’s 3.

(Bruce is in the background blue screening that he has another child with Talia that he didn’t know about.)

——-

3 years ago

——

Damian: How old are you?

Jason, unsure if he can count those 6 months in the ground: I’m a few days, cause I went into the Lazarus pit and it went back to 0.

im very aware that this person is absolutely awful for me but im gonna stick around just to make sure

The way Jon mirrors Talia's pose.

Wonder Woman

Well, this new Superman costume left me a little inspired to try and create something for Wonder Woman that would also be close to her classic uniform, and honestly? I loved this

Gravity Falls isn't big enough for TWO authors!