my roman empire is the cool girl monologue from gone girl
a knife
cruel hands held you and shaped you in to what you have become. a razor-shape blade, both wound and knife. they butchered you and called it love. they taught you that only someone who is willing to rip you apart and swallow is someone to call home. maybe that is why you love pomegranates.
new quiz just dropped: what are you?
oh fuckkkkk from medusa telling annabeth “i was you” last episode to annabeth facing life-endangering consequences for percy’s actions (which i completely support btw) just like medusa faced athena’s ire for poseidon’s actions but nothing goes the same way because percy takes accountability immediatly (“i was the one who sent her head to olympus”) and also saves annabeth by sacrificing his ownself and all of this happens in athena’s fucking TEMPLE.
I AM GOETH INSANETH
(teacher walks into class with a cup of coffee in his hand) me internally: "macha one sip da, one sip you give no ONE SIP"
sometimes i forget how many times i’ve picked myself off the floor, how many times i’ve washed away smudgy makeup and put myself to bed. how many times i’ve said no to something unhealthy. said yes to something good. how many times i’ve treated myself with kindness and patience. i forget how many times i’ve tended to wounds and made peace with my own anger. if i was taking care of a body that was not my own, i’d believe i was doing everything i could. so here’s to remembering that i’m doing the best i can.
they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"
he’s. he’s singing about her. HE’S SINGING ABOUT HER
when you practice kindness and i mean seriously, consciously choose it over and over again, it shows. that kind of selfless love etches itself into your laugh lines, steeps like a teabag until your words are inherently graceful. sometimes we spit out that choice through gritted teeth, but late at night when time stands still, the universe kisses your eyelids and promises you twice the love in return.
Just some raw facts
first and foremost, pay attention in class, or at least try to. I spent the majority of my classes browsing through meaningless memes on Pinterest or chatting with my friends, and I regretted it as soon as exams came around.
try doing something physical doing your class, as this reduces the chances of you drifting off and/or losing focus (I personally chose to doodle mindlessly, nothing that involved too much brain power and focus)
all your organization systems fail you
and finding a planning system takes months, but once you find it, STICK TO IT. mine was a hybrid weekly and daily planner with absolutely no other spreads (except a separate calendar). efficient and less time-consuming to make.
you feel motivated in random bursts and will plan out the entirety of your remaining year and then forget about that plan the next day
routines seem appealing as you try to get your life together from the ever-increasing slumps but then your realize they just make everything even more monotonous that they already are
sticky notes are the shit. like seriously. I had sticky notes in my textbooks, past papers, study notes, and even other sticky notes. they’re versatile and a great way to jot down information quickly and right on top of where you want it (a paragraph on your textbook, for examples)
do not rely on just your textbooks, especially since it’s 10 times harder to ask for help (and by the time you get around to meeting your teacher, you might actually forget about it). ask anyone around you for help – friends, family – and use all the resources you have.
online learning resources are astronomically underrated. while I was struggling in multiple subjects all by myself, I decided to expand the resources I used for studying. My favourites through my senior year were:
OpenStax (FREE textbooks on a variety of subjects groups, by Rice University)
Khan Academy (need I say more?)
Crash Course on youtube, especially for AP Exams (I’m not a part of the US education system btw, and the resources I’m mentioning are applicable to everything)
online pdf versions of textbooks
tons of youtube channels (too many to list here,)
use your phone/computer’s night light. trust me it works wonders. plus, it’s cheaper than blue light glasses if you already own a phone/computer (most have it built in). also known as a blue light filter/yellow light.
a little bit of gratitude each week will help you keep your sanity (coming from a former skeptic)
sleepless nights will be common, especially with all the screen time, but you’ll learn to live with that.
and mental health will just go down the drain
but it will all be okay
you get both your grades and confidence high
i speak from experience
"it doesn't matter. I have books, new books, and I can bear anything as long as there are books."
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