It's Always So Fascinating And Heartbreaking When A Character In A Story Is Simultaneously Idolized And

Jude's character also made me realize just how lazy of a main character F/eyre is. While F/eyre might initiate certain scenes, she remains utterly stagnant within them. F/eyre chooses to kill Andras, but then she doesn't do anything else, things happen to her, and she is pushed around. She makes the decision to go UTM, she does nothing after that, things happen to her. F/eyre is absolutely stagnant UTM. You know what would have been a very cool scene, if F/eyre was the one who bargained with R/hysand, if she were the one to come up with a plan when she realized that R/hys needed her. If F/eyre was learning about the politics of the Fae world, if she demanded to be let in because she's their only hope. That would make it so much more convincing that R/hys fell in love with her. If F/eyre exerted her obvious power over R/hys. If F/eyre showed that type of control over her fate...it would have been badass. That is a good main character.

Jude immediately recognizes her power in situations. When she bargains with Dain. Yes, she at a disadvantage, but she's also in a position that she can bargain with.

F/eyre is not active within the scenes, even if she initiates them. F/eyre never earns anything, things are given to her. And while Jude is not the perfect protagonist, and while I have my critiques, Jude does things, she learns, and her wants manifest with her making the decisions to act within the scenes. It's true that things happen to Jude, but what makes her different from F/eyre is that Jude also affects those actions, she learns from what others do to her.

So what does Jude want? She wants power. How does that manifest? She wants to be a knight. And the plot of the story follows around that.

In TAR, what does F/eyre want? We...don't know. She thinks of safety in the first four chapters, but her actions literally conflict this. When she kills Andras, that's out of survival, and when she goes UTM, it's a decision made mostly out of guilt. It doesn't say anything about F/eyre. The story straight-up won't commit to a core value for her. And it would be easy to characterize her like Jude. F/eyre wants power. It's the truth of her character, but SJM employs a misplaced sense of altruism and virtuosity. Nothing F/eyre does actually says anything about her because she's a lazy character. She'll start the scene, and then will do nothing after.

F/eyre wants to be High Lady of Spring, but she literally does nothing to show that she wants that. When she's introduced to Tamlin's court, she ignores them. She's completely disinterested in the most important parts of being a leader. Tamlin won't let you out? Okay, how is F/eyre going around that? Does she inquire about Tamlin through associates? Ask around, and play that role of Lady just to get more information? Maybe she learns concerning information about Tamlin through her constant inquiry. Does she talk to the nobility? Glean information when Tamlin won't tell her? Talk to Ianthe or gossip with her just to find out about court dynamics. If she asks the right questions, she could literally find out that Tamlin has a dark past while the story concurrently shows his devolving behavior.

It's okay if she fails, or if she gains nothing, but that type of characterization would literally make sense. It would make F/eyre a clever, learning, and interesting character. If she's sneaking around, doing xyz, we learn way more about F/eyre....and she grows.

So when Tamlin becomes more abusive, F/eyre is already actively seeking ways to get out, to be free. And when we get M/or coming to rescue her...it is F/eyre saving herself. Yes, she has no power, but she's not a damsel, she's a survivor. It's F/eyre exerting control (and even if she doesn't she's still a strong person for leaving, or being recused, but for what the story is arguing...having F/eyre be the one to make her own opinions on Tamlin rather than told by R/hysand is way more feminist and powerful).

I respect poetry so much because it does what I cannot do - say so much with so little.

When I have something Much to say, it takes me just as many words to say it. I say it with words that are each of them bland and common, unimaginative by their lonesome, with the hopes that if I stack so many together and squeeze a single drop of Much from each that it might flow into something meaningful.

When I have something to say, I say it twice. I say it three times. Because the first or second may not have captured the point. Because I do not trust myself to express the full essence saying it just once. Like just now, those last two sentences. I’ll repeat myself a third time for good measure - because I do not say it right just once or twice.

Poems say things in only a half, only a quarter. They choose single words worth more than ten of mine. I want to know how their minds shop for words. I want to distill myself like poets do. I want to trade in all my too many common words for the way they use an extraordinary few.

If I keep writing this, I’ll write it forever. I’ll explain myself again, as I have already, as I’m doing now. With more and different other words, with the hope of saying myself fully, like how all the hatched and messy wanton scribbles from a pen might finally color in a page. I want to change that. I want to not rip the page I’ve oversaturated by the tip of my pen.

I’ll start tomorrow, maybe, to explain myself less.

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

i needs the sleeps.

book quotes that i will never recover from

"he is half of my soul, as the poets say. " - song of achilles

"write me a letter telling me how to live the rest of my life without you." - how to make friends with the dark

"they were my birthday presents." - shatter me

"she had realized that she had forgotten the precise blue of his eyes and the depth of his laugh." - clockwork princess

"my name is sam cortland... and i will not be afraid." - assassin's blade

"you chose me four years ago. would you choose me still?" - these violent delights

"we were all supposed to make it." - crooked kingdom

"i remember everything." - the invisible life of addie larue

"come home and shout at me. come home and fight with me. come home and break my heart, if you must. just come home." - cruel prince

"i wasted all those yesterdays and am completely out of tomorrows." - they both die at the end

"you hated the idea of me." - the final gambit

"bob says hello." - house of hades

"abuse can feel like love. starving people will eat anything." - nightfall

"i missed you only with an ocean between us. but if death was separating us... i would find you." - queen of shadows

"i loved him. i love him. as best i could." - we were liars

"i'm the villain, even in my own story. but you were supposed to play a different role." - finale

"i will find you again in the next world—the next life. and we will have that time. i promise." - a court of wings and ruin

"i spent half of my time loving her and the other half hiding how much i loved her." - the seven husbands of evelyn hugo

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Let's play indian insta bio bingo

Cake murder / encounter

A weird font you can't understand

Censoring words which don't need to be censored to the point you don't understand what tf it says

Anything along the lines of 'branded kamina '

Obnoxious use of emojis which make no sense

Written in a language the person themselves don't speak

never really noticed before how TWELVE percy’s quest companion choices are. its his best friend and that one bossy girl that seems to know whats going on. peak group project in middle school choices

Percy Jackson episode 3 + text posts

Desi culture is storing dal, biscuits, namkeen etc. in horlicks ka dabba