Reblog If Your Blog Is Boopable-safe So You Can Get All The (probably New) Achievements. I Don’t Care

...What incident?

Wow I wasn’t expecting to wake up and hear the big news that im STILL the coolest motherfucker in the North

Puki yes

are you a substitute teacher tho?????

No, that would be hilarious though. I’d go to one class and make every student hate my guts, I’d be an asshole, they would want me dead. Then I’d go to the next class and put on a movie, give out candy, bring in donuts, have open discussions about how their lives are going, really be there for those kids. I’d do this until everyone in the school either loved me or hated me, and then I’d watch them fight.

Oh no, I was fully aware. I just wanted to be helpful, so I didn’t care

You rescue many different animals not knowing they are mythical creatures. That weird bird you rescued a month ago was a Phoenix. Your dog? Cerberus. That fox you impulsely got was a kitsune. They also all agree to look over you.

*slorp*

A tall ghoulish looking man with a green robe and strange symbols on his cheeks comes up to you and says "hey sexy. Drink this"

Would you?

It do be like that sometimes

I wish I could hyperfixate on things that are useful for me. Like how to fix cars or building stuff. But I'm stuck with flying robotic lions and two men that aren't real

Woah woah woah, back up, again???

my entire living space smells like garlic and I don’t know why

Always

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

Gaud, I need pictures, and I need them now

men's clothes should be slutty again

Because your silly little dance pleases us, jinglely goo.

*opens my 2nd set of teeth*