When I Was A Child, Every Well-meaning Adult With A Nine-to-five Soul And A Dried-up Imagination Told

Mourning Symptoms

Warning: Dissociation, mentions of mental breakdowns, character’s death and canon typical violence.

________________________________________

The death was unexpected, it left all of them feeling empty and finding their own ways to grieve.

And the way it happened?

Well, that too left a lot to be desired.

***

First few days were a blur for Jazz. She honestly was a bit ashamed to admit it, as an upcoming psychologist but it seemed like she dissociated a lot. She would sit at the table, lay on her bed or even start reading her textbooks and then she would realise a few hours have passed.

It was scary when it happened the first time. And then three more times after that. But if Jazz was one thing, it was being highly self aware of her mental state so it didn't take too long to figure out what's going on.

Most afternoons, the young woman would find herself lying in bed, looking at her ceiling.

Her mind would wander, usually, ultimately, taking her to the time of accident. Making her wonder if she could have done something differently. If she could do more. If anything would change the outcome.

Her thoughts would blend with each other and Her Head would start filling up with static-like, white noise. It was just like going underwater, when noises became less and less, until exchanged for the feeling of plunged lug holes, strained from the pressure below the waves.

Her ears would become deaf to her mother's screams from downstairs, telling her about dinner, then supper. Then deaf to words meant to bring comfort. Told through the door as Madeline Fenton worried and promised empty ‘everything is going to be okay’ and ‘we are here if you need us’ before going to turn in and fall into uneasy slumber.

Jazz was deaf to it all. Her eyes unseeing, unfocused, no longer taking in her ceiling.

She wasn't doing anything, just existing. Just losing time. Sometimes she would shake out of the stupor. Jazz would realise what time it was and began doing anything to keep the thoughts away, forsaking the sleep for the night.

Sometimes she would fall into hectic slumber littered with stormy dreams. Waking up during different hours each time.

After those, worst days passed and she finally regained some semblance of time awareness. It had been more than a week since the accident.

Jazz tried all possible ways to deal with guilt and grief. She tried to reason with herself, tried to rationalise it, compartmentalize her thoughts and finally she broke down.

It helped somewhat, she would think.

But it would take a long while for her to feel normal again. The feeling of a rock in her chest grew and she knew, the grief and guilt would not ease anytime soon.

**

Sam was once again lost in thoughts, laying on her bed.

In the month that followed the incident she seemed to lose a lot of time like that.

She still couldn't believe what happened. One of her friends was gone, this time for good and there was nothing she could do. This time there was no supernatural solution. No coming back from the dead.

She remembered, like through fog when a week after, she still held hope. The second, she snuck into the lab, took The Spectre speedster and flew herself to the Time keep.

Sam yelled at the Time Ghost until her throat felt raw and ached.

Then she was gently sent out of the Clockworks keep and cried in the safety of her room.

She couldn’t talk afterwards but she knew without doubt. That accident was partially her fault.

She had been responsible for her friend's death. Twice.

So she did what she always has done.

She kept busy.

In following weeks Samantha created three separate new campaigns dedicated to saving the planet. Remodeled her bedroom four times, until it looked just like at the beginning and created fourteen separate diy articles of clothing.

All in all Sam was doing everything she could in order not to think, what wasn’t an easy task. Her mind was dead set on going back to the accident, again and again. And once she started thinking about the incident, her mind was reminding her about the portal one. Two times her friend died. Two times and only one of them brought the dead one back.

Most nights Sam shed tears in the safety of her bedroom, always making sure no traces of them were left in the morning. Her mind was not a nice place to be these days and her grandmother noticed.

So if there were days when both of them sat holding each other's hands and talking about nothing and everything, pretending in front of Sam’s parents that everything was okay, it was only between them.

**

Tucker wasn't faring much better than his Gothic friend. Not only he worried for all People dear to him, he developed obsession in his own right. Always checking where everyone's where. Always noting whatever words he said that could hurt them and apologising whenever there was a slight chance they did.

Tucker was very pointedly not thinking about what transpired four weeks prior but all signs that something was wrong were there.

The boy was quieter than usual, skittish and keeping track of everyone he cared about.

His parents noticed of course, their son, usually an open boy, was closing up and hiding things from them. He was obsessively noting every detail, every little thing and overthinking everything. It was like Tucker was afraid everyone would disappear.

Breaking point came when his father found the document on his computer, detailing two weeks worth of every single move of both him, his wife and their boy’s friends.

All the times they left their respective houses, what they were wearing, when they got back. It was all there and a worrying sign.

Intervention came soon after that and whatever Tucker’s parents expected was not almost three hours long babbling and denying of everything before a full on breakdown that lasted equally as long.

Tucker didn’t outright admit what happened but he lost the possibility of ignoring that everything was okay.

The road to his mind’s stability would be long but Tucker’s parents were ready to help his son, even if they didn’t know what happened to send him into such state… yet.

**

Valerie Gray was sitting on her bed, out of everyone she seemed to be the most put together it looked like. She saw Sam and Tucker at school and they were a mess.

Just last year Valerie wouldn’t even know there was anything wrong with them but she got to know them through Danny and knew they weren’t okay. Not even remotely and even if they tried to make it seem like everything was fine, putting on a brave facade, at this point there was no fooling her.

To be completely fair to them, Valerie was doing exactly the same thing they did. She was acting like everything was normal, like an accident didn’t happen… like she didn’t play a part in it.

Valerie ate dinner with her father and went to her room, only then she allowed herself to show weakness, sliding down the wall onto the floor. She curled her legs to her chest and turned her head. Her eyes caught the glimpse of the box underneath her bed and she pulled it out of there.

Opening it, she didn’t know what to feel and her Red Huntress costume didn’t have an answer for her either. Only thing she knew was that she would not wear it again. Or at least for a very long while.

It was just like what Phantom told her once before, „can you really take part in destroying the human?”. And the worst irony of all was, he would never be able to ask her that again.

Not to mention, the answer was obvious - yes.

Valerie shut the box and kicked it back under the bed, hot tears already falling.

**

The knock on the door was not expected at four in the afternoon but as luck would have it he was the only one home and therefore had to open them.

„Hello Daniel” greeted Vlad Masters smiling in the nicest possible way a millionaire and reformed villain could.

Danny sighed realising that since Vlad was in fact (kind of) reformed and was actually bothering to knock, therefore he would have to let him in.

Black haired boy stepped aside, motioning the inside of the house.

„Come in.” He said, prompting a wider smile that looked a tad bit too like a villain one.

As Vlad made it inside the house with an actual leather bag that, judging from the smell, contained snacks Danny felt relief.

For the past three months Vlad was trying, more for Dani than him really but he was trying. Today Danny didn’t have to worry about poison in his food. What was more worrying was why Vlad was at his house in the first place. As subtle as he could, Danny shot a message to Jazz.

„What brings you here today?” Asked the younger half ghost, deciding to thread carefully.

Vlad moved to the kitchen like he owned the place and proceeded to deposit his bag on the counter, before proceeding to pull out more and more containers full of food.

„I thought I would drop by.” Intoned the older man, still putting out the boxes „Dani likes to hang out with you and I cannot have my beloved daughter and dear godson going hungry now, can I?” Vlad hummed to himself.

Danny stilled and shifted to a more tense position as his ex-enemy continued to hum to himself while unwrapping the food.

„Vlad, do you remember what happened five weeks ago?” The teen asked warily.

The hand that was about to put a box of meat rolls on the counter stilled, the man’s eyes widened.

„No…”

It wasn’t the first time it happened and Danny knew exactly what was coming.

„Vlad…” started Danny, deciding to be direct. „Danielle is gone.”

„No!” Vlad snarled, meat rolls falling onto the floor as he swirled, his eyes blazing red.

„Yes, Vlad she is gone. Dead. Permanently.”

Vlad lunged, shifting mid way. Danny let his transformation wash over him as he turned them both intangible and let them fall through the floor and into the lab.

His parents never learned the truth and it was way easier to explain the damages done to the lab then the ones sustained by the living room.

Two ghosts grappled for a while, Vlad snarling like a wild animal.

Phantom kicked him off of him and blasted him with ectoblasts.

Vlad deflected and their battle continued for a while longer. They used ectoblasts, threw each other towards walls and onto various appliances, Dany knew well, he will have to repair and grapple with each other. As the time went by, Plasmius attacks kept getting weaker.

Finally Dany pinned Plasmius to the floor, feeling that the ghost was shivering all over. Dark circles moved up and down, revealing human Vlad again.

„She can’t be gone.” Whispered the other half ghost. „She can’t”.

Phantom let go and found himself being latched onto as a grown man wept.

Danny’s eyes were empty.

**

Vlad was lucky, the rest of the Fentons went out on a Jazz college festival thing. Otherwise it would be an awkward situation all around.

It took the man two hours to calm down enough to take his medications and nearly another one before he left, promising to not forget taking the pills again.

Left alone again, Danny stood in front of the Portal, once again in his Phantom form.

He opened the portal and flew into the Zone, moving towards his most frequent destination lately.

Landing behind Clockwork who was monitoring other timelines in his keep, Danny straightened up.

„Hello Danny.” Greeted the Ancient of time, without even turning around. „Ready for our next lesson?” There was amusement in his voice.

„I am.” A short answer came, more and more common these days.

There was silence for a minute before the older being shifted into his adult form and with amusement colouring his voice spoke, finally turning to face Danny.

„Ask what you want to ask.”

Danny kept silent for a moment longer, his eyes hardened and teeth clenched even harder.

„If I do this… is it possible? Were you telling the truth?” Danny’s voice was steady, he clearly wanted confirmation.

Clockwork shifted into his old form and smiled condescendingly.

„I did not lie Daniel. If you become the king of all ghosts, as per your right.” Clockwork began flying closer to young Halfa. „You will have enough power and authority to bring her back.”

Danny looked at his mentor, at his grandfather. Danny looked at the time.

Truth was, Danny didn’t mourn Danielle, he went ahead and tried to find another way. That way turned out to be, for him to forsake his freedom, not just yet but eventually.

He glanced back at Clockwork who was still smiling.

„Shall we begin?” The question sounded like he had a choice.

Danny’s eyes glowed brighter.

„Yes.”

*boomerrangs a floating hyiod bone at you*

Haggard and broken, Constantine drags his sorry ass back to the JL one day, fully beat to shit in covered in the weirdest acidic algae Flash has ever had the pleasure of veiwing under a microscope. When the Detective doesn't even fight not being allowed to smoke in the infirmary, the League knows something horrible is up.

It's Captain Marvel that Constantine opens up to first. "Have you ever stared down your ex's grandparent as he chokes you with a tree branch and tries to drown you in mud, but turns out his grandpa is some fuckin' eldritch plant abominatoin, mate?" No. In fact, Billy hasn't even dated anyone in his short short years of living. (Swamp Thing and Constantine are exes, and Undergrowth is not happy about it) Love you hun :>

Mellan I fucking love you.

Billy has no idea what to do with information but he knows what prime gossip material when he sees it.

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed by reality, you just sit down. Then you feel The crashing weight of everything that is happening right now and you just start leaning back from your position.

However instead of meeting the back of your chair or your bed or even the floor, you fall through the rip in reality and continue falling through the clouds. But it's all good and well as you land in this other World.

This World is filled with wondrous creatures of all kinds, interesting flora and people. Oh so many people who have very different problems from you. And you cannot help but tag along as they progress in dealing with those problems. As they set off onto fantastic adventures. 

And you are just there, always near, always watching and learning about this world, about its wonders and horrors.

You get to explore this world, get to know its people and you are finally happy.

You make friends along the way, you experience emotions, they do. Sadness, fear, betrayal and happiness. Everything is wonderful.

And then you blink and you are back. But as your hands hover over your keyboard and as you look at your work, you cannot help but smile.

This, this is exactly what writing feels like and as you sit there you cannot help but feel content.

Sure, reality will grasp you in its claws soon enough.

But for those few short, treasured  moments, everything is well in the world.

DP x DC thoughts

Every fanfic and prompt I read has danny either pretending to be older than he is or just outright telling people he is a child.

I’d love to see actual thousands of years old danny who lost his family and has been in his castle for so many years that he’s become a shell of himself. He’s super knowledgeable, super powerful, but he’s just  t i r e d. 

Not to mention he can change his form like clockwork if he wanted to but most of the time he stays in his 14 yr old form cuz that’s the most comfortable.

Now imagine the JL come in. They summon the Ghost King because they need help and omg that is a child on the throne with a dead eye stare but he’s super powerful and helps them for no fee and and bruce is already pulling out the adoption papers.

Dick gaining an older brother figure and learning not everything has to be on his shoulders.

Jason and Danny bonding over being forced to adapt to a world that’s mourned and moved on from them and the struggle to learn to fit in again (because jason is technologically illiterate with all the advancements he missed and you can pry that head cannon out of my cold dead hands).

Tim gaining an older brother who actually listens to his rants and pushes him towards new info cuz danny has lived for so long and duh he knows stuff.

Damian just being a language nerd with danny and learning some languages that have been lost to time (because now he can shit talk about drake without anyone knowing)

Duke just vibin with this bright ass creature but hey? at least there’s another meta in the fam.

Danny spoils the girls cuz they remind him of dani and jazz.

all the while danny slowly gains his spark back and becomes more and more like his old self.

Just… let me have millennia old danny being a shit disturber.

So... when Jazz and her newborn baby were taken by a cult she wasn't... too worried. Okay yes of course she was worried about her baby in the hands of the people who knocked her out cold when they broke into her home and seem to want to use HER baby as a vessel for some evil entity to bring the apocalypse BUT she knows her husband's patrol routes like the back of her hand, knows when Jason likes to drop by to check on them (with maybe another bat or bird with him, he begrudgingly allowed cause they wanna see the littlest batbaby) and knows he and the rest of the batfam had been alerted and are on their way, she knows this. And if they don't come soon she has ways to get out of these bindings and saving her baby (no anti ghost things at all, so she's good with going liminal on them if need be)

HOWEVER Jazz stops when she realizes the summoning circle they're planning on using... and knows damn well who they're going to bring to this plane of the realms...

It's been a good long while since she saw her brother. And this will give her a chance to actually introduce him to his nephew/niece instead of just sending him pictures.

......

......

Jason really wasn't expecting, as he showed up to the warehouse the cult (THEY TOOK HIS WIFE AND KID. NO B, HE WILL NOT CALM THE FUCK DOWN, HES TAKING THEM ALL OUT FOR THIS! THEY'RE GONNA USE HIS KID TO BE A VESSEL FOR A GHOST KING) was using guns blazing, to find the cult members all frozen in solid chunks of ice that would make even Mr. Freeze envious of meanwhile his wife cheerfully chatting with a glowing, floating, blue faced with star like freckles being with a glowing crown and space cloak... whose making silly faces at his kid and playing peek-a-boo (by actually disappearing and reappearing)

You should be starting a recipe book. I don't give a shit if you're only 20-years-old. The modern web is rotting away bit by bit before our very eyes. You have no idea when that indie mom blog is going down or when Pinterest will remove that recipe. Copy it down in a notebook, physically or digitally. Save it somewhere only you can remove it. Trust me, looking for a recipe only to find out it's been wiped off the internet is so fucking sad. I've learned my lesson one too many times.

You were supposed to be normal

DPxDC

Danny was adopted by the Wayne’s and they all thought he was a civilian in a bad home situation who got along with the family nicely. Danny knew full well that they were the Batclan of Gotham but he is enjoying being a regular teenager to much to care. The Bats thought they were going a perfect job with keeping their new family members in the dark about their nightly activities. They weren’t expecting to see Danny get flung through a wall at the beginning of dinner by a robot with a flaming green mohawk. They also weren’t expecting Danny to get up like nothing happened and launch himself at the attacker. And least of all they weren’t expecting Danny to win the fight.

Danny has a podcast

Imagine Danny, after years of being ridiculed by mass media, decides to go on a podcast so his side of the story can be heard.

Problem is he can’t find a podcast to go on. A lot of them are to afraid of Phantoms enemies or just not interested. So in classic Danny fashion he decides to fix the problem himself so records and releases a 1 hour tell all interview on being a teenage hero. With Danny as the host and Phantom as the guest with some help from Tucker for the editing to make it all seem like one seamless conversation between two people.

All posted on a YouTube channel they made called “Beneath the Cape”

He thought it would be a one time thing. That maybe down the road he might do another interview with his dead self to talk about other things but he really didn’t expect more than that.

He definitely did not expect to get emails from other heroes asking if they can come on the podcast as a guest.

Because apparently being frustrated by the media giving you a bad wrap is a universal experience in the hero world and after a thorough background check they trusted him to portray them in a more accurate light.

He never could have imagined it get this big but now look at him. Having a shared ranting session with Red Hood about weird billionaires trying to be their fathers.

People have been asking for more of this ^^ so here you go, have a really long word vomit of stuff i think is funny

(IM NOT WRITING THIS FIC GDI I HAVE ENOUGH WIP’S!)

Danny’s restaurant is ALSO manned by-

Tucker, who will fix your tech for free, has tattoos of hieroglyphics and lines of code that shift around when he gets busy.

Sam, who makes an express line for veggie orders. If you try to order meat from sam all the potted plants start trembling.

Jazz, who has a special booth in the back and Magically makes people dump their deepest secrets to her in streamlined Liminal Powers Therapy. (It’s a bit weird but hey the people she targets feel better so whatevs.)

Dani, who shares pictures from tourist traps she's visited, though there’s also some REALLY WEIRD pics of alternate realities and cult shenanigans mixed in. Some of the older patrons are concerned. She’s a little too young to do all this alone- actually, how old is she? Her father looks like he’s in his early twenties…

Dan, who is working here while “on parole” and often loudly argues with Danny about it.

“I don’t want to work in your stupid shop, Dad!”

Dan is two whole feet taller than danny and three times as wide i will not be taking constructive criticism. He’s a whole silver fox. There are some ladies who have a crush on him and they’re really concerned if he’s legal bc danny is younger than them how is Dan his child-

“Dan, how old are you?”

“I don’t know, like, a hundred sixty something?”

(Lady turns to look at Danny, who shrugs and smiles.) “time dilation. What a world we live in. Dan, kiddo, can you get some more napkins from the back?”

“Ugh, fine, dad.”

The first villain Danny ACTUALLY fights isn’t the Joker-

It’s condiment king. Dan runs away from him, which is already weird bc guy is MASSIVE, and the condiment king chases him bc YES SOMEONE FINALLY FEARS HIM PROPERLY.

Danny bursts out of the shop in righteous fatherly fury and beats the snot out of him. Everyones is confused bc… what? Dan is massive? Why is he scared? Why is the twink beating the snot out of condiment king?

“Dan had a traumatic experience with Burger Sauce.” Danny explains, glaring down at the rouge at his feet. He kicks him, growls, “Don’t mess with my kid.” And walks back inside.

No one asks, bc this is gotham. Asking is rude, and also it lessens the Mystery that is Danny’s. No one knows how the kids came into existence. No one knows, before someone from out of town (metropolis, ugh) asks about the sign.

The sign outside the shop says:

Welcome to Danny’s!

Do no harm and no harm shall befall you.

Start nothing and nothing will be ended.

We have baseball bats and fists and a mean swing.

This establishment does not serve- guys in white (suits), Vlad, Transphobes, Vlad, Clowns, VLAD.

Do not ask for the secret menu. If you can get it, Danny will offer it.

(Don’t scare the other customers, please.)

When asked who Vlad is, bc he’s banned three times, Danny just kind of sighs.

“He’s my kid's other parent. He’s an obsessive creep who completely ignores Danielle because she’s a girl, rolling in money but won’t pay his child support. You know how it is.”

Several goons ask what he looks like so they can keep an eye out. Dani happily tells them “look at Dan, take away Dad’s features, then convert 30% of his height and weight into smarminess.”

It's an effective description. Vlad gets full body tackled the moment he enters the neighborhood. Danny gives the goons free fudge (family recipe, one of the restaurants signatures)

Theres a deal that’s just, “beat danny in a fight you eat for free.”

The deal extends to both Dan and Dani as well. Even if you lose you get fudge as a reward for courage.

No one ever wins.

One time, a couple brought their kid, recently discharged from the hospital. Danny comes over to them and grins. “Hey, kiddo! Bet you gave your parents a scare, huh? Pulled through in the end. That means you get the secret menu!”

Parents: hey wtf?

Danny, handing over a perfectly normal menu: 😀

Kid: “ooh mommy look at the glowy stars!”

Parents: !?!?!?

Danny: 😁

Old man Dave, whose heart has stopped like three times now: “Oh don’t worry about that, prices are the same and it will help your kid feel much better. Danny’s just a little weird.”

After all, it’s not just full ghosts that get the menu. If you’ve been dead, heart stopped, soul out of body before being popped back into place, then you get it. There’s actually a pretty high number of people who get it, bc this is Gotham. People get resuscitated after rogue attacks. The ecto actually helps stabilize their soul after getting jerked between life and death so rudely.

The secret menu that they’re given is just a normal menu, scribbled over top with an ecto pen, invisible to non-secret menu havers. Different “ecto-levels” to choose from, and three extra dishes. There’s also instructions to get into the “back room” for those who can’t go intangible, though it comes with a disclaimer “not for the faint of heart.”

There’s also a small note at the bottom- “do not share food.”

Anyways, as per original post. Tim herds Joker into Danny’s radar bc he Cannot Deal Right Now. He salutes Danny, who waves back, grinning like he didn’t just come at the Clown Prince of Crime like a feral badger on crack cocaine. “Heya, Red Robin! You want a coffee?”

“Please.” Tim sighs. “You’re the best, Danny.”

Jason looks between tim and the shop danny just vanished into. “Uh, what?”

“Danny doesn’t like clowns.” Tim explains. “Or condiment king. They get close, Danny takes them out.”

Jason is incredibly confused, bc he just came back from an out of town mission, but this place is right on the edge of his territory and he should definitely know about it. He asks tim, who just shrugs.

“That shop is weird. It’s like a grocery store at 3am. I stumbled in there after a rough night and Danny just whipped me up the best coffee i've ever had. Still can’t find their website. I swear it’s bigger on the inside and the door keeps swapping from one side of that fire hydrant to the other.”

Danny comes out and passes Tim a massive coffee cup. “Come back and talk shop with tucker, okay? You’re welcome any time. Both of you, actually.”

He gives Jason a weird look and then goes back inside.

Jason, who is a little concerned that the reverence tim has is more than his average weird worship of coffee (it's just that good) goes back the next day in civvies.

He gets offered the secret menu, danny does the eye thing, Jason retreats to look at the secret menu. Unsure of what just happened, he texts tim.

Jason: Why was i given a “secret menu”

Tim: WTF WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET THAT

Jason: IDK THATS WHY IM TEXTING YOU

tim: I'VE BEEN GOING FOR MONTHS I’M A LOYAL PATRON WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DONT

Jason: the secret menu apparently (image)

Tim: …thats just the normal menu???

Jason: no? It looks like a kid went ham with a neon green marker tf?

Duke: you know this is the family chat right?

Steph: order the waffles

Jason: you order the waffles. Wtf is an ecto-level.

Jason asks for what danny recommends, Danny immediately gives him a milkshake and tells him it's on the house bc he “looks rough.”

Jason is kind if offended, bc he actually got a decent sleep- but then he tries it and its like.

Oh.

Now. Between the stink Tim is making, and the sudden worship that Jason has of this shops milkshakes, the BatFamily is now Curious and will Investigate.

Are the milkshakes really that good?

The full force of the Wayne Family™ isn’t exactly subtle, so they go in twos and threes over the course of a week.

Damian gets offered the secret menu, and is also directed towards Sam’s express vegetarian line. Danny just Knew. Damian accuses Tim and/or Jason of pulling a prank on him, but they both swear up and down they didn’t say anything.

Both Steph (i think? Did she fake her death or actually die idk) and Cass get the secret menu, and they keep trying to ask Tim what certain things on the menu mean. Tim Cannot See what they’re talking about. He’s starting to get frustrated. Is it some sort of magic spell?

Tim takes Kon to Danny’s. (Is it a date? A test date on a low-stakes investigation? Maybe.) Danny, who is really starting to enjoy messing with Tim, gleefully offers Kon the secret menu, and Tim the normal one. Tim bangs his head on the table.

Dick doesn’t get a secret menu, but he does notice a couple disappear through the wall. He’s almost certain he’s seen them before, but it will be a while before he remembers Kitty and Johnny from his early Robin Days.

Duke is also not offered a secret menu, but he can see the writing anyways. He can also see that some of the patrons have weird auras, and what on EARTH is up with Danny himself? He tries to ignore it, up until Steph gets him to order one of the specials off Cass’s (secret) menu. And Danny just kind of sharpens, the air going cold.

“I didn’t give you that menu. Just because you can read it, doesn’t mean you want it. Order off the right menu, please.”

Duke, freaked the hell out by the Biblically Accurate Horror that Danny is shifting into, orders off the right menu and apologizes.

“Oh, it’s alright!” Danny flips back to cheerful in seconds. “It’s just that it wouldn’t be completely healthy for you to eat it, even if you are part immortal.”

Duke bluescreens.

Alright, somethings definitely going on.

Tim and Jason both order the same thing- an oreo milkshake, one off the secret menu, one off the normal menu. Jason confirms the one from the normal menu does not taste the same and isn’t as good. Tim cannot confirm the other way around, because Jason nearly punches him when he attempts to taste it.

They take samples home, analyze them, and go over anecdotes from other patrons, trying to figure out what makes Danny’s so weird. What makes Kon, Cass, Jason, and Damian different?

Wait a second. Kon, Cass, Jason, Damian. The ones that died and came back to life.

It’s around this time that Dick remembers where he’s seen Kitty and Johnny before. Lovers from two houses, both alike in (in)dignity, had a romeo-and-juliet-esque escapade across Gotham, ending in high speed chase with Kitty’s gangster father and a fatal motorcycle accident. Both are dead. Both are in Danny’s.

Danny’s has something to do with death.

Having heard a couple stories about food of the dead, they notify Bruce (who is very concerned as to what exactly his children have been putting in their mouths) and then call in the magic users of the justice league.

It’s a mess. Dan calls Constantine a whore. Deadman and Secret (i think thats Tim’s ghost friend?) get abducted to the backroom. Dani clocks Capt. Marvel as another kid who looks older than he actually is, with magic powers, and his showing him her REALLY interesting travel photos. Zatanna is like “this place needs an exorcism” and danny just goes “ma’am please don’t exorcize my customers.”

Tag list (if you saw me attempt this before no you didn’t)

@nappinginhell @apointlessbox @thegatorsgoose @chaos-n-kindness @mimilikey @phoenixdemonqueen @treepainting @sjrose1216 @akikkobara @malice-of-the-sunrise @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @randomkiddoscrewingaround @call-me-strega @blankliferain @somera-rubina @wordsgohere95 @rukiaai @mirellacoco @stargazing-bookwyrm @bathildaburp @littlefeather345