Look I’m Not The Biggest JayRoy Fan Bc I Have Shipped DickRoy Since I Was Like 13. However This Idea

Look I’m not the biggest JayRoy fan bc I have shipped DickRoy since I was like 13. However this idea is rlly funny to me.

Bc Dick helped Roy raise Lian in the beginning when he was lost and needed to get his life together.

If Roy and Jason started dating

And Roy introduced her to his boyfriend

And it’s Uncle Dicks little brother.

You think shes calling him anything else???

Like picture this bc once again these. Characters are like 9000 years old and they do not follow the timelines of aging

Lian is born and Dick is helping Roy out in person for a long time, but by the time she’s like 6-7 Dicks very busy with Gotham and bludhaven and new York and him and Roy have had a bunch of falling outs but they’re not letting affect the kid but Dick doesn’t visit as much in person.

Lian is still very attached so Roy will sometimes call Dick on FaceTime and let Lian update him about her life and everything and ramble and for a while that’s the only times Dick and Roy have contact is the text message of

You free Lian misses you?

And Dick spoils the kid rotten, he sends her birthday presents but also half birthday and quarter birthday present. if Roy needs to be somewhere Dick will take her on a trip somewhere just the two of them.

He tells her about his family and Lian becomes obsessed with becoming an acrobat. In the way kids are this gets tacked onto everything else she wants to become

She doesn’t wanna be an astronaut no she wants to be an acrobat astronaut.

She doesn’t wanna be a doctor she wants to be an acrobat doctor.

So on

He tells her cartoon versions of what happens in his life

So the penguin is peddling drugs through the city that he’s purchasing through laundering money with illegal businesses

Becomes

A penguin walked into a laundromat and ate all the Pennies so now he has go find the penguin to get the money back.

And it’s an event when he does come to see her.

She gets so excited and happy bc Dick carries her around all the time and she gets princess treatment 24/7. And he teaches her games they used to play back in the circus and at first Roy was worried bc Dick doesn’t exactly have a scale of normal and he’s not gonna call dick and talk To him but that’s not something they’ve done in years

but then Lian falls off the monkey bars at day care and flips before landing on her feet, perfectly fine.

And when they call him about it they ask about it bc what is a kid doing with flips ofc they’re curious but whatever he is doing? The moms want to know? Is there a class because that could’ve been a really nasty fall and catching yourself is a very good skill to have especially as an active child.

And when he asks Lian if she was scared “no! It’s like game uncle Dick taught me why would I be scared!”

And Roy calls Dick for the first time in years just to talk to him not for him to chat to Lian.

And he asks and Dick just kinda awkwardly admits that that’s how his parents taught him not to be afraid of heights or falls. If you teach kids a life skill through a game they’re less likely to freak in the real life scenario. And Roy is kinda reminded why he became friends with this asshole and why he stuck around and it kinda rekindles their friendship.

And then Roy starts dating Jason and it’s on the DL, bc Jason has issues and Roy isn’t going to introduce someone who isn’t a certain thing to his child. Right.

But things are going well

Very well

And then he decides well fuck it

And they tell people

And everyone is happy for them even Dick despite his very very pained “really Roy my kid brother?”

“Are you gonna give me the shovel talk Grayson”

“God no, you’re a titan which means you’re family which just makes this weird because people I both consider family are dating.”

And then Roy tells Lian

And she is pissed

“Why is Uncle Dicks little brother here”

“Well Lian he’s gonna be around a lot more”

“Does that mean uncle dick is gonna visit more”

“No sweetie but you see uncle dick a lot, Jay over here will just be more around”

“…why?”

“Well because he’s daddy’s boyfriend now”

“Like how Casey’s new mommy and daddy are boyfriend girlfriend”

“Yeah sweetie exactly”

“So he’s gonna be like my new daddy?”

“Well no, unless you want him to but-“

“I don’t”

“What Lian-“

Lian is very angry because she wants her uncle Dick around more and when she told her friend at school her friend said that her new stepmom was around more since her and her friends dad got married

She then logically assumed the ideal way to get her uncle around more was simply to force Dick and Roy to get married.

And since Dick asks for a list of things she wants every year for her birthdays and Easter and Christmas and st. Patrick’s day and All Saints’ Day and Eid and Labor Day and Halloween and holi and Passover and … (no she does not realize not everyone gets gifts on all the holidays that exist, this is very normal to her. Roy had to rent a storage room by the time she was 5)

And Dick has never once not gotten her what she wanted (once she asked to meet the penguin who stole the Pennies and dick took her to the zoo and the showed her the penguin who had a little ziploc baggie of coins tied around its middle-she pointed out that he still had the Pennies and dick said that he felt bad and let him keep just a few)

So anyway she was gonna ask for them to get married on her Christmas list but she wanted to ride a pony and so she was gonna add it to her 1/4 birthday list but now her dad is ruining it because she knows you have to be boyfriend girlfriend before you get married and this is not fair.

So she has a parent trap style vendetta against Jason. He is Meredith Blake.

And Jason who loves little kids is devastated bc his boyfriend’s kid does not like him.

And Roy is confused bc Lian and never acted like this ever.

And Dick has no idea what’s going on bc Lian is eternally an angel with him bc he has gentle parented the shit out of her and also bc he will never see anything she does as wrong ever he knew her when she was a baby that young lady is perfect if you say a derogatory word against her he’ll steal your knee caps.

And one day Lian calls him from preschool and is like “daddy is busy he wants to ask if can you pick me up” and Dick of course says yes because they’ve done this before and sometimes you only have time to make one last phone call.

So he picks Lian up.

And Roy gets there and freaks bc where the HELL IS HIS CHILD. And bc he’s a hero he assumes his identity is compromised and calls Ollie and everything is on lockdown and WTH his going on.

And like 8 hours later Dick calls him and he almost doesn’t pick up and Jason is trying to calm him down and they’re all tracking her but on a whim he answers cuz maybe Dick can help find his baby.

“Hey Roy any ideas when you’re coming to pick Lian up or should I take a day off work tomorrow?”

“What?”

“Dude are you okay you sound wrecked what the hell happened”

“Lian is with you?”

“Yeah- what’s happening Roy?”

“Why is LIAN WITH YOU?”

“She…called me to tell me you were busy and needed someone to pick her up.”

“I-“

“Roy is everything okay”

“She- she called you?”

“Yeah? from the school telephone the same way she does Everytime you have a mission. Roy brief me? Are you okay? Is? Is Jason alright?”

“Can- put Lian on the phone right now.”

“Roy-“

“NOW GRAYSON!”

“Yeah sure okay”

“Hi daddy!”

“Lian why did you ask Dick to pick you up?”

“Yep!”

“Why?”

“Because you were busy”

Deep inhale “who told you I was busy”

“You did”

“I did not-“

“Yeahhh u did, you said you would be with Uncle Dicks little brother”

“What does that have to do with-“

“Go be gross with him I’m mad at you”

“You’re mad at me, young lady I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR HOURS.”

“Why? Just because you forgot about uncle dick doesn’t mean I did”

“Wha- Lian what are you talking about”

They go to Dicks apartment and Lian explains that she is very cross with Roy because he knows uncle dick is her favorite baby sitter and it’s not fair that he gets to marry Jason when Dick is her favorite and since everyone knows that it’s babysitter and dad , boyfriend girlfriend, married. And that’s how Roy finds out that Casey’s new mommy used to be her babysitter and his daughter has been under the assumption that him and Dick were gonna get married since she was four.

And it’s annoying because Jason has never babysat her this whole time and Dick is her favorite baby sitter and he’s dating Dicks brother like that’s the wrong one dad.

Anyway Dick excuses himself to laugh until he cries in his room and Roy is bluescreening while staring at his daughter.

They clear some stuff up but when she’s mad she still calls Jason uncle dicks little brother.

More Posts from Noazhere and Others

noazhere

5 months ago

Broke: everyone fights over whose Batman’s favorite

Woke: everyone fights over whose Dicks favorite bc Dick isn’t an emotionally stunted loser (I shit talk Bruce so much but I love him, he’s just also a loser) and trying to get in the bats favor is like trying to catch sand in a sieve

————

Damian: obviously I’m Graysons favorite I was his Robin

Tim: dude I was the first Robin he trained and we still talk every day I am 100% the favorite

Steph: fuck you! You disappeared off the the face of the earth when he was Batman I was actually here I’m 100% the favorite everyone knows Wing loves me.

Jason: Dick willingly went to Gotham to spend time with me even when he was mad at Bruce. Has Dick ever been in Gotham when he was mad at Bruce for you guys? No? Didn’t think so?

Damian: ….

Steph:…

Tim: that’s because you sucked so much he thought you’d get blown up trying to have to bludhaven.

Jason: oi! Low blow, you can’t use a man’s death against him

Damian: shut up we’ve all died before

Steph: you literally said you were allowed to break Tim’s laptop bc you died b4

Jason: yeah it’s MY DEATH I can use it how I want

Tim: we really gonna call your 14yr old 4’7 self a man?

Cass: he helped me train when B rejected me I’m the favorite

Tim: you can’t be Dicks favorite you’re already Bab’s favorite those are the only 2 likable older members of the family. (They’ve decided Alfred doesn’t count since he’s legally not allowed to have favorites)

Dick: Duke is my favorite

Damian: what?

Tim: how?

Jason: this shit is rigged

Steph: What?? You barely spend time with him?

Duke who has been eating popcorn quietly this whole time:???

Dick: he doesnt steal my suit and murder people

Jason: …

Dick: or tell his friends I threatened to send him to Arkham when I told him to get therapy

Tim:…

Dick: or break into my apartment at 3am because he can’t communicate with his father

Damian:…

Dick: or make me believe he flatlined on the operating table

Steph: …

Dick: or tell me he can’t meet up for a bust because he’s too busy fighting Wonder Woman a hero we work with over text with no context and then go AWOL for 5 days

Cass:…

Dick: or overload his plate with 50 million things I will have to come in and help with

Everyone:

Steph: he started a cult tho??

Dick: was it before or after he was fostered bc if it was before it’s. Not. My. Problem.

Duke: I’m the favorite???

Dick: also I feel like if I died you’re the most likely to take over my duties and not go on a quest for vengeance or try to clone me or put me in the Lazarus pit.

Jason: ID NEVER PUT you in the Lazarus pit…. No comment on the rest tho.

Tim: ditto

Damian: meh you are superior to Todd and he’s relatively functional post the pit I don’t see the issue here.

Steph raising hand: I wouldn’t-

Dick: or help TIM do it

Steph lowering hand:

Dick: plus you have a parent so I don’t have to do 80% of the child rearing while giving Bruce credit

Duke still a little star stuck bc that’s nightwing: IM THE FAVORITE.

4K notes View Post

noazhere

5 months ago

DUDE HOLY SHIY WHAT EAS THIS

I WAS SO NOT PREPARED FOR THE FREE ATTACK. WHAT THE FUCK.

Okay but imagine for a second

You’re Bruce Wayne, Batman

The richest, smartest man in every room you have walked into since you turned 20

Every bit of information is at the tip of your fingertips money, brawn and brains are no object

And then you take in a child

Named Dick Grayson

From the circus, who has the most flimsy proof of his existence you’ve ever seen with a birth certificate that looks too worn to properly make out the parents named without knowing them before.

No passport despite traveling all over the globe

No form of identification

So you give the kid an ID and everything is fine

He becomes Robin

Joins a team

Becomes nightwing

Runs all the teams

Becomes Batman

Runs himself into the ground

And then Dicks in his 20s and he’s sick

Really sick

It’s not viral, fungal, parasitic or bacterial

No one else you know has this

And he’s getting sicker

He can’t walk without help and spends all his days wrapped up in blankets fighting off never ending shivers.

He mixes up his brothers names and sometimes outright forgets some of the kids

He didn’t recognize Kori a few weeks ago and hasn’t remembered her since

So Everytime he blearily asks “who are you again?” They All answer with the knowledge that this might be the him decaying blue eyes don’t spark with recognition

The first time it happened it was horror and tears “an Oh my god! I’m so sorry I love you you’re my brother” over time it’s devolved into an “oh right…hi Jason”

And the doctors ask for his family history

Maybe. Maybe there is something that could save him, bring him back or stop this descent… this fall from happening to the most untouchable man that’s ever lived.

(Tim threw up after he saw Dick burst into tears, head resting on Alfred’s shoulder when he realized he couldn’t walk without help- they need to stop this)

So they dig

And dig

And nothing

There’s no evidence of the Graysons before John, the Lloyd’s before Mary.

Neither had been to a doctor anytime in the states at least

Bruce had redone all of Dicks vaccines once he acquired guardianship of him.

There was nothing

Nothing on his aunts or the uncle that was his namesake

There’s just nothing

Bruce realizes he doesn’t even know Dicks ethnic background. 1000s of tests he’s ran and he doesn’t even know if Dick has ever been to his parents home countries

They do every test they can come up with to try and fake a comprehensive family history

Mary Grayson was a fake name

So way John

They don’t know the real ones

Bruce finds out the mother of his son is Syrian and Romani and the boys first father is Afghani and Italian.

He finds out Mary’s father fled from Syria during the 60s and settled in Germany

He finds out that John Grayson and his brother were orphans together

He can’t even tell you which one of them gave Dick his blood type.

He knows everything

He’s the smartest man in every room he’s ever walked into

And he won’t be able to save his son

Because the boy who holds Bruce Wayne’s very heart in his hands knows that the best way to stay in the shadows is simply to show so little everyone will fill in blank spots with jarring inaccuracies so seamlessly they won’t even notice they did it.

They’ve called everyone

And Dick just keeps getting sicker

Tags

batman dick grayson dc nightwing people say sharing is not caring and ive never agreed with something so hard in my life before

404 notes View Post

noazhere

2 months ago

The Batfamily visit Haly's circus for Dick's birthday. When the show ends the ringmaster immediately walks over to them and brings Dick into a hug. He explains he noticed them during the performance and invites them backstage.

The family gets along really well with the circus performers, a pleasant surprise due to the difference in wealth. The ringmaster is making conversation with Bruce when he says "-And thank you for looking after our little Robin all these years."

Everyone in the family except Bruce and Dick freeze. Dick doesn't realize what happened at first, too used to the Ringmaster calling him that. Bruce tries to save the situation and throws on a smile. "Don't worry he's in good hands"

The Batkids relax and Dick finally catches on and dreads the questions that are sure to come. Damian doesn't even wait until they leave to confront Dick.

"if it was meant to commemorate your family, why did you give it to me?"

"Look, Dames, my mother used to call me Robin, it's where the name came from"

"it was your mother's name for you?"

Dick nods, a tad confused at how seriously Damian is taking this.

Oh "you are my family, Dami and I believe you'd make my parents proud"

Damian tries and fails to find a response, so he walks away. His heart feels a lot lighter now.

Tags

dick grayson damian wayne dc robin richard grayson haly's circus

4K notes View Post

noazhere

4 months ago

Pissed-off Batkid: “I’m not Batman.”

[authority figure] who’s about to ruin their entire year: “Yeah, that much is pretty obvious. Because Batman would’ve already figured a way out of this shit.”

2K notes View Post

noazhere

9 months ago

OMG YOU ARE SO REAL.

I WANT TO KNOW HIS SECRETS SO BAD??????

HEYYYYYY JESS!! WHAT’S UR FAVORITE HUGH DANCY PICTURE??!?!

HEYYYYY

And great question I HAVE THREE

This man is so pretty 😭

281 notes View Post

noazhere

11 months ago

Connotations matter

Tags

hannibal will graham will graham fanart nbc hannibal hannibal nbc hannigram hannibal fanart hannigram fanart hannibal memes

4K notes View Post

noazhere

3 months ago

From another Tumblr post that has been lost to me

Bruce is the most “over” his parents deaths, in the sense that he’s the one who’s lived with it the longest therefore also the one that makes the most jokes about it

Like how Jason in fanfics makes jokes about his death, Bruce makes jokes about his parent’s deaths and it makes everyone slightly uncomfortable.

——

Alfred: Master Bruce, as per the new chore schedule that we have all agreed upon, it is now your day to wash the family dishes.

Bruce: 😬 Ooo, I actually can’t, you see I gotta visit my parents, ya know, be a good son and all that. *Bruce is actively shuffling toward the back door of the manor where the graveyard is*

Alfred: *stunned silence*

——

Bruce: You need to visit more chum

Dick: *sighing* Bruce, I’ve got my own city to run. I can’t just drop everything to visit Gotham.

Bruce: *shaking his head* You’re grandparents want to see you more. What’s so wrong with that?

Dick: W-what?

Bruce: Are you gonna make me go out there to my parent’s grave and tell them that you don’t want to visit anymore? Cause you’re ‘busy’? Do you not care anymore?

Dick: Are you seriously doing this again? You know I’m going to say yes if you put it like that!

Bruce: *still stoic but has a very pleased energy* Oh, how generous. Your grandparents will be very happy.

Dick: Please stop doing this.

Bruce: Ha, no.

——

Jason: What the fuck?! Get this shit off me!

Bruce: *holding a very expensive scarf with the tag still on for some foreign brand* Jason, don’t be so rude. Your grandmother made this for you!

Jason: Bruce, you and I both know-

Bruce: Fine, fine… go outside and freeze. *starts walking to the graveyard in the backyard* I’ll just have to tell your grandmother that you hate her guts

Jason: *snatches the scarf and angrily puts it on, almost strangling himself* Here! You motherfucker… *grumbling*

Bruce: See? You look cute! Let me go get a camera and take a picture to show your grandma, stay here.

——

Bruce: *dramatically, hand on his chest* Ah! You’re gonna make me and your grandfather faint!

Tim: Bruce-

Bruce: Don’t you remember that he’s a doctor? What you think he thinks about all these sleepless nights???

Tim: *exasperatedly* Hypocrite. Bruce-

Bruce: Oh woe is me! My own son! His ailing health! *turns to the empty air beside him* Dad what should we do? Was I ever this difficult?!

Tim: Fine! Fuck man, this is weird and sad! *stomps away to his bedroom*

——

Damian: *struggling to get out of Bruce’s grasp* Baba, please. This is highly inappropriate! I am basically a grown man!

Bruce: *hugging Damian tighter* I’m sorry Damian, it’s just… you have so much of my mother’s and father’s traits… seeing you brings me such joy I can’t help but hug you…

Damian: *stops struggling, blushing in embarrassment* … Well, I suppose I can allow this… hugging ritual

Bruce: *hiding a grin* Thank you Damian, you’re so kind

Tags

bruce wayne dc this actually made me giggle

2K notes View Post

noazhere

6 months ago

Tim: Do not fear death. Fear the state in which you die.

Jason, whispering: New Jersey.

Tags

lmao i loved it omfg this is so dumb

1K notes View Post

noazhere

11 months ago

Bro is one of us fr

all fictional characters are someone’s oc, but it somehow becomes even clearer when it’s Neil Gaiman. like Hey this is my guy. he’s an edwardian schoolboy who is also a ghost. yes he’s gay. no he doesn’t talk about it. of course he’s in love with his best friend. got sick of rotating him in my head so I put him in hell canonically. twice. he has autism but he get’s all the bitches. his last name is Pain.

1K notes View Post

noazhere

5 months ago