Hi, A Lot Of You Need A Perspective Reset

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

More Posts from Nixisverytired and Others

3 weeks ago

The crux of the anti trans movement is a war on bodily autonomy. They don't want you to have any agency over what you look like, how you dress, who you date, whether to have kids, etc.

They want total control over you. Not just trans people. Not just queer people. You. Everyone.

Trans people are just a scapegoat. They want total control over everyone's self expression. They want the right to mold you into their perfect little cog in their dehumanizing machine.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility. Our rights are your rights. Our destruction is your destruction.

3 months ago

PLEASE stop platforming assholes!

And yes, this includes screenshots with the name cropped out!

I'm not trying to call anyone out here, or vague about fellow transmasc-friendly posters, but I really do think this is a huge problem in tumblr discourse in general.

I know, there are people being awful to trans men on tumblr, and transandrophobia is a huge fucking problem on this site. I can think of a handful of blogs who are the worst offenders- I'm sure anyone who's been on here longer than a week knows their names.

But they feed off of this attention! When you reblog their posts to argue with them, or screenshot their takes, you're just spreading their influence around. They're not going to change, they're not going to stop being cruel or transphobic, and arguing with them will only make you feel worse and give them more ammo to use against you.

Not to mention, if somebody has these blogs blocked, and you post untagged screenshots of their shit, you're making people see them whether they like it or not! Somebody who blocked a bigot so they didn't have to deal with their rancid-ass takes shouldn't have to see them screenshotted on 12 different trans-friendly blogs.

Focus more on uplifting the voices of trans men and transmascs than engaging with bullies!


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3 months ago

The thing with like aphobia and transandrophobia and stuff is like

sometimes. you are going to see people complaining about oppression. and it's going to make you feel bad and uncomfortable. because you yourself are oppressed and in these circles you are used to being The Oppressed One and seeing these other complains about People Including You reminds you of actual bigotry in broader spaces, or makes you doubt your own oppression, or just makes it feel like you're being told you 'have it easy'.

but. that's not what's happening. what's happening is just that other people also have systematic problems and deserve to talk about it.

that is not an attack on you.

oppression is not a zero-sum game. Aspecs, or trans men, being better acknowledge as suffering from oppression, does not mean that you have it any less bad than you have known yourself to do.

it doesn't even mean that they have it 'worse'. It means exactly what I said: that they also have issues that they need help with and are worth discussing.

If that upsets the basis of your own understand of your oppression... yeah. maybe that means your understanding was wrong. sorry.

but it's only the THEORETICAL UNDERSTANDING that has been upset. your oppression is still not in any kind of question.

is that easy to understand or carry forth? no.

but it's necessary.

and it has happened, over and over again. When gay people and trans people were at head to head, both presenting the other as predatory sexual deviants and themselves as 'normal'. When gay men diminished lesbians' suffering because they were less likely to get on the news for being murdered than gay men. when bisexuals (within Tumblr's own history!!!!!!) were widely panned as possessing 'straight-passing privilege' and therefore never in the same 'category' of oppression as gay men and lesbians.

it happens over and over and over again. and it's always hard. but it always needs to happen, morally.

even if the people expressing their oppression are 'too aggressive'. even if their arguments make you feel uncomfortable and scared. even if the place you belonged no longer feels like home anymore.

it'd be nice if every time something happened that made you feel bad, it was because of somebody Bad who needs to be Stopped and/or Punished. but that just isn't the case.

an oppressed group (and we can judge this by statistics; it's really not that difficult) talking about their oppression is not causing actual harm to you. and even if they were, they still deserve to be able to do it.


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3 months ago

I apologize if this comes off as hostile or combative, tone isn't my strong suit, especially over text.

I'm not saying there aren't some incredibly transandrophobic trans women on tumblr- we wouldn't be having this discourse issue if there weren't.

And I'm sorry that you experienced that on discord. I had something similar happen on a server I was in, and I ended up having to leave as well. Anyone who runs a server has a responsibility to prevent bullying and bigotry against its members, and the owner of that server should be ashamed for letting things get that bad and excluding other trans people like that.

However, I strongly believe that we shouldn't try to argue for the existence of a trend or correlation between certain username themes/kinks and being transandrophobic.

These usernames and kinks are just popular with trans women in general. Many of the worst transandrophobic bloggers are trans women. Therefore there will be transandrophobic bloggers with those usernames and those kinks.

I worry that attempting to draw parallels here could do more harm than good, and make people wary of unrelated parties.

Not trying to discount your experience here! And I promise I don't think you're saying this is a 100% correct identifier for transandrophobes or anything like that, I don't want to take your post in bad faith. I just think we should be cautious, that's all.

what are the trends? what are the username trends for transandrophobic posters? any specifics?

Typically [animal][girl][slang term for penis]

(Mandatory disclaimer for those lacking reading comprehension - As implied with the term "trend," this is not 100% an identifyer for transandrophobic trans women.)


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3 months ago

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

1 month ago

It's a trans thing in general, really. I'm agender and I had one. They have no right to claim that the very concept of a dysphoria hoodie is transfem specific.

The only dysphoria hoodie stolen from transfems is the one I swipe from my wife's closet when I wanna steal her clothes.

Wait are these assholes trying to claim the concept of a dysphoria hoodie was stolen from trans women

Dysphoria Hoodies??? Really? As we know, the concept of wearing a Baggy Article of Clothing to deal with your dysphoria was nonexistent until the first ever trans woman discovered the magic of the hoodie.

Really???

I was wearing those before I knew what being trans was! Shockingly, if you're dysphoric about a part of your body, your first instinct may be to cover it up with easily available gender-neutral clothing... such as, I don't know, a hoodie? But no, those mean transmascs and nonbinaries stole it from women, who would have guessed :(

Guess we gotta add it to the list, along with "cat ear headphones" and "eggs" and "liking anime."


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1 month ago

Stop only supporting trans men and trans women because you sexualize us. That's not as progressive as you think it is.

Support trans lives, not because we're hot, but because we're trans. And also hot.

3 months ago

"queer people need to get weirder"

but can you handle a nonbinary transmasc/trans man who is femme and passes as his agab, yet DON'T want to be grouped with women and/or femmes, AT ALL???

CAN YOU???

3 months ago

So much queer discourse is just "i like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" Type shit

"I believe mspec lesbians are valid" "so you think lesbians just need good dick?"

"I believe trans men can identify as lesbians if they want" "so you think trans men are women?"

"I believe transandrophobia exists" "so you think transfems oppress transmascs?"

No bitch that's a whole new sentence wtf are you talking about

1 month ago
Trans Solidarity Werewolves🏳️‍⚧️🌕

Trans Solidarity Werewolves🏳️‍⚧️🌕


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nixisverytired - Trans Unity > Trans Discourse
Trans Unity > Trans Discourse

Nix, They/Them, Queer, 20s Sporadically active.Do not gender me.

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