Why is it inappropriate to sidetrack any other conversation about a minority's experiences, but not a conversation about transmasc experiences?
Why is it appropriate to drag those conversations into, "What about tomboys?!" or "What about transfems?!"
It shouldn't be appropriate. It really shouldn't be.
("Piss on the poor" note: Transfems and masculine women are important to talk about too, but this post is about how people seem to feel far too comfortable speaking over transmasc voices.)
I keep seeing people say shit like “I’m against transandrophobia because it’s just a way for trans men to excuse their transmisogyny!”
“Using transandrophobia just means you hate transfems!”
And I wish I could say to these people, as bluntly as possible
Trans men talking about their oppression doesn’t hurt you.
A transmasc person discussing their concerns about forced pregnancy and detransition doesn't mean they think trans women have it better.
A trans man saying “hey, I don’t pass easily, and I still experience misogyny!” doesn't mean he thinks transmisogyny is fake and you pass easily.
A trans man bringing up how invisibility means hate crimes against trans men often go unreported doesn't mean he thinks hypervisibility is any better.
A non-American trans man telling you that no, his life is not actually easier than yours, doesn't mean he thinks you are lying about your experiences.
People saying “Hey, I think trans men are oppressed!” does not mean they think trans women are NOT oppressed.
That's a whole new sentence.
Yes, there are going to be bad faith actors and bigots in every community. Transmisogyny is something we all have to watch out for, because it is so normalized in our society. No one identity is exempt from this.
No one identity is uniquely transmisogynistic, either.
You can’t insist every person who believes in transandrophobia hates transfems and is out to get you, specifically.
You want proof? Talk to the trans men and mascs who actually use the tag, listen to them for once. Hear their stories about the oppression they have experienced, and, crucially, don’t derail it and make it about you.
You don’t have to like the term. Hell, even if you’re a trans man or transmasc, you don’t have to use it! But don’t police the people who do.
I wonder if the transfems that hate on trans men and transmascs realize that demonizing masculinity actually harms their masculine transfem sisters, as well as closeted/pre-E transfems as well.
*grabs your hands and speaks to you in a tone that is so gentle* they/them pronouns stop being universal once you learn a person's pronouns. Sometimes that person's pronouns will include they/them and in that specific case you are allowed to keep using those pronouns for that person. In any case where you learn a persons pronouns and that person doesn't use they/them, you should no longer use those pronouns for that person. If you continue to use they/them pronouns knowing that person doesn't use them, you are now misgendering that person. Kindly stop doing that please. Thank you, I love you.
It’s funny to me that people use “TMRA” as a negative descriptor. Like I get it, they're comparing an oppressed group of people to MRAs, cause they're fucking clowns.
But it goes to show they think any sort of advocacy that centers trans men is a bad thing. They refuse to see them as trans, just men. Pretending that the "man" part overrides the "trans" part of the identity makes them feel better about their own bullying. And if they paint anyone who defends them as a "men's rights activist", they can dismiss their concerns without ever addressing their arguments.
I advocate for the rights of TRANS men alongside the rights of trans women and nonbinary people! Because, as it turns out, ALL trans people are oppressed, and trans men aren’t the exception! I place just as much importance on their struggles as I do on my own.
What kind of person would think that’s a bad thing?
Oh, right. Transphobes.
god i love being an intersex trans woman. i love that being a woman doesn't invalidate that i'm also a man. i can be a wo/man. im glad i can be a butch woman. im glad i can be a genderqueer woman. i'm so glad to be able to express myself as a woman with a beard and deep voice. im glad i can just be a woman however i want to. women don't have to conform to any norm. women are allowed to be diverse. women are allowed to break gender expectations. women are allowed to fuck with gender. god i love womanhood. i was taught to hate it but i've learned to love it. i love being a woman
idk guys i have 5 transfem friends irl and all of them wholeheartedly believe transadrophobia is real… maybe it’s because they aren’t in anti-transmasculinity rad fem echo chambers… maybe it’s because they actually are friends with multiple transmasc irl and see their struggles… guess we’ll never know though…
Nix, They/Them, Queer, 20s Sporadically active.Do not gender me.
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