I Love You Trans Men . You're Not Alone . We Have Community And Connection And We Can Get Through This

I wasn't able to reply this in another post, for god knows what reason, but anyway I want to have it as a separate post. So.

I'm ftm, I'm from the global south, etc. I know what the transmasc struggles are - you will find I lived through them, I keep living through them. I was sent to offbrand conversion therapy, got told that clearly I'm just a confused girl who looks too much like a child and so that's why I'm identifying as a man (?). I am not going to be talking about all that. That's the deep lore.

What I am going to be talking about is how fucking meaningless the arguments against transandrophobia theory keep getting on this website. I cannot keep logging on and seeing people argue semantics (while not understanding a single thing they're saying) to define our experiences out of existence. I cannot keep logging on and seeing fucking USAmericans, because it's always one of y'all, who live in a sort of comfort I will never, ever get to experience or even see, try to tell me that somehow I have more power than any of them, because of how a fucking word is structured.

You are not arguing in good faith and I will not treat you like you are.

Yep! That's because it's not an actual argument or discussion. It's people trying to silence trans men and anyone who defends them.

From what I've seen, some of these people also believe that trans men are simultaneously "late transition, indistinguishable from cis men and immune to misogyny" and "Basically cis girls with D-Cups, hiding behind their femininity, and a week from detransitioning into a terf" There's so many contradictions in anti-transmasc viewpoints, it's a wonder that anyone falls for them. It's all disgustingly misogynistic and transphobic, and reeks of truscum and terf logic. I'll say what I always say, don't argue with them. Just block and move on. Most trans people ain't like that.

"Men aren't oppressed for being men"

Trans men are real men. Trans manhood is real manhood. Trans men are oppressed for being trans men.

You're just a transphobe who hasn't actually internalized trans manhood as real manhood.

You only view manhood as an oppressive force rather than a real, genuine identity someone can feel connected to. This is transphobic.

You don't value the full scope of trans men's experiences as we define them for ourselves. You want us to sit down, shut up and let others make the decisions for us. Something most of us have been told all of our lives but is somehow progressive now that we're men....huh. Our voices are lifted up by feminist language for the misogyny we experience before we transition and then we're thrown out on the curb when we transition. We're "on thin ice" while we're pressured to self flagellate and be ashamed of our identity and when we begin to talk about the complexities of our issues we have our experiences flattened and dismissed.

You can't say trans men are men and try to dissect the trans part from the man part. You are inclined to do this because you have anti-transmasculine biases. Our experiences are the experiences of men, marginalized men who are not valued by the system.

can the queer community please be fucking normal about trans men/mascs

My favorite thing is assigning privilege to people who don't have it so that I feel better about my own oppression. yessir nothing better than that

"Trans men and women are both suffering" and "trans women are often specifically targeted by bigotry and harassment even within their own communities and deserve to be able to talk about their own unique challenges without being talked over" and "trans men are often erased from conversations about how bigotry and transphobia targets them and are not exempt from all the horribly draconian laws transphobes are attempting to pass" and "being trans doesn't make you immune to participating in horrible transmisogyny even and especially if you aren't aware you're doing it" and "holy shit don't reinvent bioessentialism but for trans people like holy fuck men are not destined to be evil and women aren't automatically incapable of harm" are all opinions that can and fucking SHOULD coexist

Say it with me:

If you go out of your way to harass and argue with trans women, you deny them their right to discuss their oppression, and you only ever see the worst in them, you being

Transphobic!

Now, if you go out of your way to harass and argue with trans men, you deny them their right to discuss their oppression, and you only ever see the worst in them, you are still being

Transphobic!

And of course, if you go out of your way to harass and argue with nonbinary people, you deny them their right to discuss their oppression, and you only ever see the worst in them, you are (yet again) being

Transphobic!

No, it doesn't matter if you're a trans woman, a trans man, or nonbinary yourself! You're still being a bigot. Unlearn your internalized transphobia and play nice with the other queers. The fascists hate all of us, stop doing their work for them.

Please stop forgetting nonbinary people!

Theyfab isn't a transmasc-specific slur. It's always been used against any nonbinary person assumed to be AFAB.

Though the AGAB of nonbinary people is nobody's business in the first place, it bears repeating that not every AFAB nonbinary person is transmasculine, just as not every AMAB nonbinary person is transfeminine.

These bigots aren't just transphobic towards trans men/mascs, they're exorsexist as well. We'll be stronger if we stick up for each other and push back against them together!

Edit: Just to make it clear, theyfab is being used against transmascs as well! I just want people to also acknowledge the non-transmasc nonbinary people being hurt.

we got another good news roundup!

the fight is still on! don’t give up!

The thing with like aphobia and transandrophobia and stuff is like

sometimes. you are going to see people complaining about oppression. and it's going to make you feel bad and uncomfortable. because you yourself are oppressed and in these circles you are used to being The Oppressed One and seeing these other complains about People Including You reminds you of actual bigotry in broader spaces, or makes you doubt your own oppression, or just makes it feel like you're being told you 'have it easy'.

but. that's not what's happening. what's happening is just that other people also have systematic problems and deserve to talk about it.

that is not an attack on you.

oppression is not a zero-sum game. Aspecs, or trans men, being better acknowledge as suffering from oppression, does not mean that you have it any less bad than you have known yourself to do.

it doesn't even mean that they have it 'worse'. It means exactly what I said: that they also have issues that they need help with and are worth discussing.

If that upsets the basis of your own understand of your oppression... yeah. maybe that means your understanding was wrong. sorry.

but it's only the THEORETICAL UNDERSTANDING that has been upset. your oppression is still not in any kind of question.

is that easy to understand or carry forth? no.

but it's necessary.

and it has happened, over and over again. When gay people and trans people were at head to head, both presenting the other as predatory sexual deviants and themselves as 'normal'. When gay men diminished lesbians' suffering because they were less likely to get on the news for being murdered than gay men. when bisexuals (within Tumblr's own history!!!!!!) were widely panned as possessing 'straight-passing privilege' and therefore never in the same 'category' of oppression as gay men and lesbians.

it happens over and over and over again. and it's always hard. but it always needs to happen, morally.

even if the people expressing their oppression are 'too aggressive'. even if their arguments make you feel uncomfortable and scared. even if the place you belonged no longer feels like home anymore.

it'd be nice if every time something happened that made you feel bad, it was because of somebody Bad who needs to be Stopped and/or Punished. but that just isn't the case.

an oppressed group (and we can judge this by statistics; it's really not that difficult) talking about their oppression is not causing actual harm to you. and even if they were, they still deserve to be able to do it.