Nixisverytired - Trans Unity > Trans Discourse

Being part of a marginalized group does not give you a free pass to say bigoted things about another marginalized group.

the statements "clothes don't have gender" and "clothes can and do invoke gender dysphoria and euphoria for many people" can and should coexist.

Hi, I'm genuinely looking for an explanation here and not looking for an argument /srs

Can you explain how calling a transfem a TERF for spreading ideology that I genuinely assumed was included in the definition of TERFism is othering ? Not to be that guy, but I'm autistic and I'm having a very hard time connecting the points you're making, and I genuinely want to learn and understand what you're saying /gen

Again, I do hope this doesn't come off as hostile, I am genuinely trying to learn and understand better, and I want to be able to fix misconceptions about what a TERF is in my own mind, and I haven't seen anyone bring this point up before /gen

You absolutely do not have to answer this, but I hope you have a fabulous rest of your day, and I do apologize for what I said, as it wasn't necessary for me to comment on the situation.

Yeah totally! Okay, I got a lot of this from Ibram X. Kendi's "How to be Antiracist"* where he talks about describing "racist" as an identity means that hardly anyone is going to ever "identify" with it, even if they are a racist. It's much more helpful to talk about actions being racist or anti-racist. Someone committing racist acts speaks far more to the vulnerability of anyone to cause harm, rather than it being something ONLY reserved for someone with the identity of "racist". For example, Clarence Thomas, a black man, has done untold amounts of harm to the black population in the US. If we subscribe to the "oh, (X) can't be racist, they are (a minority)" train of thought, it means people are less likely to understand that Clarence Thomas commits racist acts. In the same way, describing yourself as an anti-racist is not enough, as it can let people be comfortable with racist actions because they think "oh, I'm an anti-racist, I can't commit acts of racial harm." That's why it's more helpful to describe acts as racist and anti-racist rather than framing them as identities.

In a similar way, describing someone as the label of "TERF" can have a similar effect. Because it's specifically a label centered around being anti-trans, transgender people of all kinds will easily assume they cannot be transphobic, because the label of TERF is ideologically opposed to their existence. It invites ridicule rather than introspection. By saying actions can be transphobic, I think it helps a lot more because it's easier to understand that trans people can be transphobic. For example, Blaire White is right there. Despite being a trans woman, she is actively doing transphobic acts. By calling out an action as transphobic rather than describing someone as a "TERF", it helps fight back against the idea that being trans means you cannot be transphobic. For a super duper simple example, I can step on my dogs tail, but it doesn't mean I hate dogs, it means I committed an act of harm against my dog. Describing me as a dog-hater when I LOVE dogs would invite ridicule more than it would a tendency to watch my step when my dog is in the house. I hope this makes sense!

*I'm not trying to say the Black and Trans experience is exactly the same, just that like any oppressed group, there is a lot of overlap in tactics and thinking, especially for people who are Black and Trans. Reading about other groups can really give you a ton of helpful insight on how to work within your own identity!

i like it when trans men and transmascs exist

i think there should be more trans men and transmascs

An an intersex nonbinary person i am constantly pissed off about the new ways there are to separate people by their genitals. How long would you have to talk to a "TME/TMA" defender until they say TME means AFAB.

this is exorsexism.

probably 5 seconds. they're really not hiding it well.

I really wish I could talk transfeminism to people in real life but I start saying stuff like "Men oppress women" really is too simplistic, and wrong. and, The patriarchy oppresses both men and women, and Cis men are rewarded for upholding It via misogyny, but Individual men aren't the patriarchy. people start looking at me funny

What sucks is that both nonbinary people and trans men are infantilized all the goddamn time, so using "child" at all would be transphobic as hell.

Also, I don't buy the “tumblr kept showing me your slop” bit. This person has been leaving snarky little comments on different posts of mine throughout the week. Pretty sure this was a hate-reading my blog situation, and if that's the case there's no way someone wouldn't see my pronouns.

But I guess misgendering me suited those arguments better!

Name a better couple than transphobic trans people/misgendering anybody they don't like, I'll wait

My posts are all: "Hey, don't talk over trans men when they want to discuss their oppression!" "Nonbinary people aren't being treated very well right now, and we're being erased by the rest of the community." "Trans men and trans women aren't enemies." "Care about identities that aren't your own, include other trans people in your advocacy."

Which is apparently a grave enough offense to misgender me and compare me to a nazi, go figures.

It goes to show that some people are really transphobic before they transition, and they refuse to address this after their egg cracks.

i want people to get it into their heads that you can still be transphobic if you're a trans person. literally the most vile transphobia i've ever been faced with has been at the hands of other trans people. i have had trans women in my life tell me that i'm not a man because i don't have a penis. being trans does not absolve you from all potential transphobic beliefs you held before you realized you were trans. we all have to unlearn transphobia. you can get off your high horse and acknowledge that you have the capability to be transphobic towards other trans people.

I think whatever you replied on that post got immediately hidden by the OP

Hey sounds about right. I’ll say it better because I think it needs to be said.

Here is what has happened: Trans women created a word to describe their experiences and then used that word to talk about the oppression they face. Trans men, who face similar but different oppression, coined a similar but different word and are using that word to talk about their experiences.

If you are someone who genuinely believes that trans women deserve to have a word and space to talk about their oppression, but trans men are “talking over” them by doing the exact same thing, it reveals your biased worldview in which the experiences of trans women deserve to be heard more than those of trans men.

The internet is infinite and making a space for one group does not take away space from another. Both groups can speak.

Trans women and trans men both deserve a space to speak on trans experiences. As do nonbinary people who consider themselves under the trans umbrella.

btw there's so much discourse on my feed rn and I think I need some people to just step off of tumblr and meet people outside their circles. Does wonders for you btw x