It's Honestly A Rip Off We Don't Get Nothin From The Companions, Especially Your Lover. C'mon Larian

Got inspired from hades so wanted to put my own spin on the style. I don't think it quite gives off hades but I like the result!

Tav, the idiot who somehow managed to be cool enough for Baldur to save

Baldurs Gate 3 is so wild when you realise how vastly different the game is depending on if you choose Tav or Dark Urge

Dark Urge Playthrough: you’re the child of Bhaal, but unlike the Bhaalspawn, you are created solely by Bhaal himself. The first true child of Bhaal. The daughter of one of your father’s previous Bhaalspawn turns on you, attacks you and tries to kill you. In your dying state, she infects you with a parasite so that you’ll die an incredibly humiliating death, and become her slave.

By some miracle you end up on the same nautiloud ship as a Sharron Cleric who happens to to be carrying a gith artefact that contains Baldur himself. Baldur, who was made a mind flayer and is now calling himself the Emperor, realises there’s an incredibly powerful Bhaalspawn on the ship, and that he can use them to his advantage. The power you have will help him destroy Gortash. Of course he picks you, it makes so much sense.

On your way to Baldurs Gate you find out through an unsent letter that you used to be into Gortash. When you get to Baldurs Gate, the man you used to fuck turns out to be an absolute loser and with horror you realise he is still into you. It’s okay though, he’s very easy to kill.

You end up facing off against Orin, your niece, and kill her. Your father appears to you and offers you the chance to become his Slayer. On the high chance you turn him down, he murders you in front of your loved ones, and leaves you to rot.

Then Jergal, the actual Lord of the End of Everything, the original God of Death, who was the very being that turned you father into a God all that time ago, who’s been in your camp for weeks pretending to be this undead scribe called Withers, appears next to your corpse and brings you back to life, basically adopts you, states that he will protect you from Bhaal, and announces that as long as he lives, you will never die. You’re essentially immortal.

Tav Playthrough: you’re a random nobody that was unlucky enough to get kidnapped by Mind Flayers. The Emperor must pick one of the many idiots on the ship to be his pawn. He sees Tav and thinks “ugh, yeah this one will do”.

I've been unbanned

The Shadowheart-obsessed cod god is back

Got shadow banned on cod, guess that means I have no choice now but to spend my weekend writing (as if I didn't already want to write anyway)

love Shadowheart for giving herself a warrior cats name when she was ten and deciding to stick with it for the rest of her life

this is the kinda dumbassery I got up to in my first playthrough like 💀

Submitted for consideration: the funniest place to find out Shadowheart is a Shar worshipper?

WIP: Wake Me Up

18+ for sexual content and violence, this is just a snippet from a future chapter

An alternate universe fic with no tadpoles and just Shar/Selûne bs where Tav and Shadowheart happen to meet up. Stupidity and shenanigans ensue. Probably gonna be a series bc I'm obsessed with the two of them.

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When Anaya spoke, her voice was strained. “Goddess of beauty and desire, allow your most devoted servant to worship at your altar.” 

Shadowheart lifted her chin imperiously, as if looking down on Anaya. This was such a new addition to their dynamic; they'd fucked before, but Anaya had been the one in control. She had done what she pleased with Shadowheart, not allowing or asking for any reciprocation. When Shadowheart tried to touch, she was met with punishing stares and harsh words. Anaya's body was not hers, not in the way Shadowheart was Anaya's. She had relished that at the time, only feeling it was unfair afterwards, but Anaya had assured her there would be ample opportunity to make it up to her. 

She intended to tonight. A perfect idea had already begun worming its way into her brain. 

“I see no devotion,” Shadowheart said, voice thick and low. Anaya's eyes roamed her chest greedily before she spoke, but redirected to her face at the sound of her voice. “Only lust.” 

It was a dark look. One that said if Shadowheart let her, she would consume her all night. 

“Allow me to prove my devotion, great goddess."

LOOK AT IT

LOVE THEM WITH ME

Thank you so much again! This made my entire day ngl ❤️

i just know ayana and shadowheart will haunt my dreams tonight

now everyone say thank you @nightingalen7 for writing THE only fanfic ever (wake me up on Ao3, trust me on this one, her Tav is a force of nature)

Please God , take away Chappell Roan’s pain, double it and give it to mrbeast.

Angry goth + happy go lucky jesus lady = traumatized sassy girl that likes dogs

i've connected the dots