Nicoledavisss - Wistful Thinking

Honestly;

I've grown tired of listening to people bitch about how much their life sucks. I'm too fat, I'm so depressed cause of this person. blah blah blah. I'll admit, I can be one of those people who complains about things. But, nobody is perfect. And nobody should be. But despite all my issues, I'm happy. Yes, everyone has their own set of problems, but that's what life is about. Dealing with problems and overcoming them. But, take look around you and see all the things you have. A roof over your head, food on the table and a family who loves you despite your downfalls. There are people out there who would kill the have a house to live in, and food on the table every night. And most, are all alone because their families have neglected them, or have all passed away. But, no matter what they have to deal with, they do it with a huge smile on their face because they're happy to be alive. Happy the be breathing. So, stop worrying about the little things and just be happy to be alive.

I tried everything. I smoked, drank, drove 100 on the freeway. Anything to make my heart feel the way it did when it beat next to yours.

(via yourlifeisyourmessage)

Sometimes

I just wish things would go back to the way they used to be with us. I wanna be your baby girl again. I miss you saying that to me so much. I miss hearing you telling me that you loved me and kissing me on the forehead. I miss holding your hand and kissing you in public and letting people know that you were mine and I was yours. If I could go back and relive it all, I would relive it for the rest of eternity. You are my entire world and I'm so glad that you're still in my life and that you're still there for me even after all we've been through. You're my rock and I hope that never changes. I pray that one day things change between us and you learn to love me all over again. But only time will tell what's gonna happen.

August 3, 2019

Well, here we are again. Another night of frustration and bickering. When is it going to end? I do everything to make sure you’re happy and yet you still treat me like shit. Okay, I’m not SUPER motivated, I agree with that but for fucks sake, I at least try to motivate myself and do better and you know this. I do care and you just don’t see that. I know damn right, you’re on POF talking to other girls while we’re still in a fucking relationship. I ought to leave you for that shit but I love you too much. I just want shit to be the way it was when we first met. I want the old you back. The one who confessed that he was in love with me one night after he drank too much. The one who only wanted to cuddle and love on me. The idiot that makes jokes and tries to play fight with me. Now all I have is a man who doesn’t want to look at me half the time. All you do now is belittle me and make me feel like absolute shit. I hope you know that all of this is gonna make me never want to love again if we do end up breaking up for real. I just want us back. I miss it more than anything. You grabbing my hand and showing me off to the world whenever we walked together somewhere. All the times we used to go to the movies just because we had nothing else to do. The times we’d drive to the beach when we didn’t have the money. I won’t ever forget the time that I begged to have you go on vacation with me and Tyler because I wanted you to be there. You convinced us to go to Miami. I had such an amazing time with you. The time we drove to Key West and then made plans to go back and sell stuff. (Even though we never did it lol) I was still happy about the idea because you came up with it. I miss all the nights we would go for walks just to talk about whatever. I miss everything. Late night drives and talks. Please, give me another chance to show you that I’m better than this. I can’t help but cry and cry now because I’m disappointed in myself that I’m not even good enough for you. I really do love you so much.

Yes, everyday..

Fuck man I’m actually losing my mind and people only say they’ve noticed after I post about it. I literally can’t handle anything anymore. I can’t handle life. I either feel nothing or I feel it to the slightest degree possible, and that’s frightening. I can’t feel anymore. I can’t think anymore, when I do I just end up hating myself. I can’t focus anymore. I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.