I Wish All Writers Who Haven’t Been Able To Write In A Long Time Bc Of Depression A Very I Love U And

As the kids on Tumblr say, “big mood.”

Maybe I was just at the wrong age when I finally began reading them, but I never got into LoEG, and I think a lot of the above explains why. Heck, I’m still steamed over what Moore did with the Maschinenmensch (a.k.a. “false Maria) in The Roses of Berlin.

What do you dislike about league of extraordinary gentlemen?

Short answer: What I dislike about the comic is the same thing comic fans disliked about the movie- it turned my favorite characters into caricatures.

Long answer:

Make up your mind, Alan Moore- is the League okay with rape or not?  It’s horrifying when Hyde or Bond do it, but they first come across the Invisible Man in the process of raping children and basically laugh it off.

Bull-freaking-shit would Jonathan dump Mina over having ugly scars.  If you really needed to get him out of the way to hook Mina up with your preferred guy, why not just kill him off and have Mina angst over his death Gwen Stacy-style?

If Jonathan did ever dump Mina for her scars, Van Helsing would be waiting outside the house with a baseball bat (for Jonathan’s kneecaps) and a bouquet of flowers (in case Mina wanted to trade up.)

Why did Mina fall in love with Alan Quartermain?  I’m not opposed to younger woman/older man pairings, but…why?  Some amount of looks can be traded for some amount of personality or vice versa, but Quartermain as written by Moore had neither.

Why did Moore’s idea of “strong female character” mean “take a woman who was canonically kind and make her a straw feminist ice queen”?

If Jekyll became Hyde because he was ashamed of being gay, then why the everloving hell was Hyde into women?

People Alan Moore cannot do pastiches of: Shakespeare, P.G. Woodehouse, Jack Kerouac.

Pirate Jenny canonically (insofar as a throwaway song is canon) became murderous over doing humiliating menial work.  This was not enough for Alan Moore- she had to be raped, because that’s the only possible reason a woman would become a supervillain.

Since he’d already made her Indian, if he wanted her to have additional motivation to be mad, couldn’t it have been about racism?

I don’t like what he did with James Bond, but defending James Bond really isn’t the hill I want to die on.  Suffice it to say that it felt mean-spirited.

Speaking of mean-spirited, what does Alan Moore have against Harry Potter and Peter Rabbit?

If you’re going to write a series of comics that amount to “look how much better I am than these other sexist, racist authors!” then your comic should be 1) actually better, and 2) not sexist or racist.

Neil Gaiman goes on about how the movie adaptation was the first time everyone agreed the movie sucked and the comic was great, and it annoys me because I *don’t* agree that the comic was great.

In fact, that’s a big part of why it all pisses me off- I feel like I’m supposed to love this comic.  I spent years trying to love this comic.  I do not love this comic.

Now, do I think you can do this kind of critique well?  Yes, and I’ll point to a series I love, Jane Carver of Waar.  An expy of John Carter of Mars shows up in the second book as the villain, and poorly handled it could have felt like a snide “fuck you to all my predecessors in this genre.”  As written, though, it was “isn’t it fucked up that John Carter of Mars owned slaves and fought for the Confederacy?”  This works because it is a valid point.  It is fucked up that John Carter of Mars owned slaves and fought for the Confederacy.

League, on the other hand, is like going “It’s it fucked up that John Carter of Mars ate children?”  It’s not a valid point, and it just makes me go “But…he didn’t?”

well life just isnt fucking fair is it humpback whale 85

Isn’t this the final level of Hitman: Codename 47? Is there a mass grave full of dead bald guys in suits in back of this place?

GOOD EVENING

i just found the most fucked up property currently for sale in austria

THIS LOOKS NICE RIGHT JUST A BIG OLD HALL

CUTE RIGHT? NO. FUCK NO

I FEEL SO MUCH DREAD SEEING THIS HALLWAY

YOU WON`T LEAVE THIS ALIVE

IT HAS AN INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN AND BATHROOM IDK FOR WHAT BUT I HATE IT

THIS CUBE IS WHERE YOU GO TO DIE

like this is advertised as just a curious amazing thing with no explaination to what the fuck is going on or what THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED IN THERE

but you can buy it for 99,000€. you might die looking at it but like. you can fucking try to get this

here is a link to the listing i guess. i hate this so much https://www.immowelt.at/expose/2b46g4c

This actually came up in the movie Shadow of the Vampire, where two members on the production team for the original Nosferatu ask actual vampire Max Schreck (played by actual vampire Willem Dafoe) what he thought of the book, though the movie plays the question more for melancholy and absurdity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgqgSaDCgC4

the best gag in dracula by far is how the entire time jonathan harker is imprisoned in dracula’s castle, dracula is pretending to have a full household of servants when in reality it’s just him running around doing everything, and it would be CRIMINAL to write a drac-centric adaptation and not milk this gag for all it’s worth. dracula dropping off harker in the carriage, pulling into the stables, then sprinting through the castle to answer the front door. dracula lurking outside harker’s bedroom for him to leave so he can sneak in and make his bed and fold his pajamas. dracula in the kitchen struggling to make food when he hasn’t eaten anything except blood in centuries. dracula giving up, turning into a bat in frustration, flapping over to the nearest farmhouse, stealing a pie off the windowsill, and proudly presenting it to harker for dinner.

it’s the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century.

you can only reblog this today.

Ah, “Alter Ego”, the episode where Tuvok is stalked by an alien incel who got too deep into RPing.

Credit @Aelkus on Twitter

My own theory is that a majority of the new Air Nation is made up of former Earth Kingdom subjects for two main reasons. First of all, the simple fact that the Earth Kingdom is the most populous nation in the world means that, if the number of people developing airbending was equally distributed, the lion’s share of new airbenders would appear in the Earth Kingdom. Secondly, it seems like Tenzin got the majority of his “recruits” from Ba Sing Se, where they were refugees fleeing conscription and had no choice but to leave the EK, while others presumably came to Republic City as civil war broke out falling the Earth Queen’s assassination. By contrast, the Korra-era Fire Nation and the two Water Tribes were relatively stable and humane places, so the new airbenders probably had less of an impetus to emigrate. I imagine some did, but it wasn’t a matter of life or death for them. As for the airbenders who stayed behind in the Earth Kingdom, I had a dark idea about that. A few years ago, I was playing with story ideas for a potential Kuvira fic, and I hit upon this idea of a bunch of pro-Kuvira EK airbenders joining her army and being put into a special unit. With a training regiment crudely based off of whatever old books about airbending were floating around the EK, these airbenders would learn to control and manipulate poison gas as an offensive weapon against opposing armies and in fortification-clearing operations. While they would seem rather graceless and clumsy compared to someone like Tenzin, the fact that these “gasbenders” would be wielding clouds of the Avatarverse’s equivalents of mustard gas, phosgene, and chlorine would make them terrifying in their own right, and they would be one of the many things that turned the world against Kuvira. Sadly I never came up with an actual story to put this idea in, but I still have the gasbenders in my back pocket for a rainy day.

Were there no new Air benders in the Fire Nation of Water Tribes? We saw the Air benders pop up in Republic City (EK colony) and Lin had reports of Air benders in the Earth Kingdom.

Does this mean Air benders come from “the people of the earth element” or that the other two nations just kept quiet about it?  It certainly would have been interesting to see how the modern Fire Nation deals Air benders in their midst. 

Where did the Air benders come from in the pre- fire- conquest days? Where they all born within the nomadic- monk society? That seems very unlikely. Where they born elsewhere and joined the order as a “higher calling”? Where they Air benders from all nations or just the Earth kingdom? and if so, why? 

While Tenzin & Krew pressured the new Air benders to join it was a voluntary choice in the end. Was it always that way?  what I’m getting at is … there may be people with Air bending abilities that are not part of the Air bending culture/ society. Are they self taught? are they lying dormant? What are the stories of the non joiners?

Barney #1: “Be quiet! This thing hears us!!!”

Barney #2: *stands inside the test chamber firing at the tentacles with his peashooter*

1-800-ARE-YOU-TAPPIN