I Wish Orson Welles Was Here To Run A Toxic Blog

Juliette knows exactly what she’s doing, doesn’t she? Between this and that old picture of her where she tore down that shower curtain when she was a kitten, I’m beginning to suspect this cat is an agent of chaos.

I ordered some clothes online, and the plastic bag they arrived in is the most exciting thing to happen to Leo and Ellie in a while.

Meanwhile, Julie is content to lie directly on the clothes themselves (and get hair all over them).

Sometimes I wonder which poor bastard from Geordi’s engineering staff got his skull flayed to give Data that half-face.

It’s like reverse Phantom of the Opera mask

I’ve had those dreams too (I usually end up getting to the exam without having taken any classes), and so does my dad, who’s a good three-four decades older than me. If I had to guess, I would say that the life-or-death importance many of us attach to our education, combined with being in such a state for several years, is so intense that it seeps into our subconscious and stays there long after we graduate. I’ve heard stories of personal assistants having dreams about their bosses calling for them, so it isn’t just limited to people in uni.

I keep having this recurring nightmare that I’m in college, but somehow have either forgotten or otherwise blown off all my classes. And it’s getting near the end of the term when I suddenly realize I haven’t gone to class at all, and have missed all of the tests and assignments and I’m going to fail everything. 

It’s been ten years (!) since I graduated college, and back then I think I skipped class no more than one or two times total, so I have no idea why my subconscious is so fixated on something that never happened. Brains are weird. 

I’m a touch surprised you didn’t know about the Red Army in BF1. When DICE released the “In the Name of the Tsar” DLC, they added “Tsaritsyn” and “Volga River” as maps explicitly set during the Russian Civil War. Kinda wish we could have done some fighting along the Trans-Siberian railroad line, but I suppose it would be harder to justify the inclusion of armored vehicles en masse.

i didnt know battlefield 1 had the red army in it so i was pleasantly surprised when i quickmatched into tsaritsyn on the red army side. i took a horse from the camp and ran around a tank and threw grenades at it until it exploded, then got caught in level geometry and watched a dude leisurely deploy a mortar and turn me and my horse into gravy. on my next spawn i threw gas grenades into a house and choked out 4 dudes, and got into a shooting match across a hill with my extremely comically bad fedorov-degtyarev against a sniper. good game.

I can actually give you most of that with one stop, complete with orthographic views and a rotatable 3D model, thanks to the artist’s ArtStation page! https://www.artstation.com/artwork/4b6mK2 I can’t help as much with schematics, but the artist did do a little period-appropriate systems display schematic with Photoshop. https://twitter.com/thomasthecat/status/1104090439232024576

nesterov81 submitted:

Have you seen the Georgiou-class from Star Trek Online yet? It’s a bonus skin for the Walker they made for a DSC-themed discount pack, and rather than go with the game’s 25th century aesthetic the designer decided to go for a movie-era aesthetic and made a neat contemporary of the Excelsior. The links below have some nice pictures.

https://www.herocollector.com/en-gb/Article/star-trek-online-uss-georgiou https://twitter.com/thomasthecat/status/1094065137202253826

Very cool, thanks for submitting!

well life just isnt fucking fair is it humpback whale 85

Maybe I was just at the wrong age when I finally began reading them, but I never got into LoEG, and I think a lot of the above explains why. Heck, I’m still steamed over what Moore did with the Maschinenmensch (a.k.a. “false Maria) in The Roses of Berlin.

What do you dislike about league of extraordinary gentlemen?

Short answer: What I dislike about the comic is the same thing comic fans disliked about the movie- it turned my favorite characters into caricatures.

Long answer:

Make up your mind, Alan Moore- is the League okay with rape or not?  It’s horrifying when Hyde or Bond do it, but they first come across the Invisible Man in the process of raping children and basically laugh it off.

Bull-freaking-shit would Jonathan dump Mina over having ugly scars.  If you really needed to get him out of the way to hook Mina up with your preferred guy, why not just kill him off and have Mina angst over his death Gwen Stacy-style?

If Jonathan did ever dump Mina for her scars, Van Helsing would be waiting outside the house with a baseball bat (for Jonathan’s kneecaps) and a bouquet of flowers (in case Mina wanted to trade up.)

Why did Mina fall in love with Alan Quartermain?  I’m not opposed to younger woman/older man pairings, but…why?  Some amount of looks can be traded for some amount of personality or vice versa, but Quartermain as written by Moore had neither.

Why did Moore’s idea of “strong female character” mean “take a woman who was canonically kind and make her a straw feminist ice queen”?

If Jekyll became Hyde because he was ashamed of being gay, then why the everloving hell was Hyde into women?

People Alan Moore cannot do pastiches of: Shakespeare, P.G. Woodehouse, Jack Kerouac.

Pirate Jenny canonically (insofar as a throwaway song is canon) became murderous over doing humiliating menial work.  This was not enough for Alan Moore- she had to be raped, because that’s the only possible reason a woman would become a supervillain.

Since he’d already made her Indian, if he wanted her to have additional motivation to be mad, couldn’t it have been about racism?

I don’t like what he did with James Bond, but defending James Bond really isn’t the hill I want to die on.  Suffice it to say that it felt mean-spirited.

Speaking of mean-spirited, what does Alan Moore have against Harry Potter and Peter Rabbit?

If you’re going to write a series of comics that amount to “look how much better I am than these other sexist, racist authors!” then your comic should be 1) actually better, and 2) not sexist or racist.

Neil Gaiman goes on about how the movie adaptation was the first time everyone agreed the movie sucked and the comic was great, and it annoys me because I *don’t* agree that the comic was great.

In fact, that’s a big part of why it all pisses me off- I feel like I’m supposed to love this comic.  I spent years trying to love this comic.  I do not love this comic.

Now, do I think you can do this kind of critique well?  Yes, and I’ll point to a series I love, Jane Carver of Waar.  An expy of John Carter of Mars shows up in the second book as the villain, and poorly handled it could have felt like a snide “fuck you to all my predecessors in this genre.”  As written, though, it was “isn’t it fucked up that John Carter of Mars owned slaves and fought for the Confederacy?”  This works because it is a valid point.  It is fucked up that John Carter of Mars owned slaves and fought for the Confederacy.

League, on the other hand, is like going “It’s it fucked up that John Carter of Mars ate children?”  It’s not a valid point, and it just makes me go “But…he didn’t?”

Credit @Aelkus on Twitter