The World Needs A Metroid Show Where Pyonchi Sounds Like This

I know this never happened in the games or any outside material, but what if frozen Metroids just… fell? Imagine shooting one with the ice beam and it just hits the floor with a nice *clunk*. Obey the laws of gravity, weirdo.

Space Pirate Design Ranking

The Metroid series has a boatload of different designs, completely changing between every game except the 2D iterations. Some think it’s simple design inconsistency, others think that they’re different genetic manipulations of the same species, while others (including myself) are of the opinion that the Space Pirates are a collective made up of various species. Today, I’ll be ranking these designs based on what they convey and, simply, what I think is cool and aesthetically pleasing. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll only be ranking the standard Space Pirate variant of each game, the “core enemy type” if you will. And yes, Metroid Prime 4 Beyond is here, though its place in the ranking is subject to change as we get more closer looks.

7. Metroid Prime 2 Echoes

Some people may consider this a sin to put so low on the list but, to me, this really just doesn’t fit the whole vibe of the Space Pirates, especially in the Prime series. In the Metroid Prime saga, the Space Pirates are an authoritarian empire who recklessly abuse technological advancement for the sake of domination. This just… doesn’t say that. It’s a good design, don’t get me wrong, but this really looks like some weird skeleton knight. I could see this crawling out of some crypt to seek vengeance, not descending from a space ship to plunder. For that reason, I gotta put this guy in last place.

6th place: Metroid Prime Federation Force

For many of the problems Metroid Prime 2’s design has, I think Federation Force remedies… and then makes the opposite mistakes. Federation Force’s Space Pirate design is, canonically, around the same height as Metroid Prime’s Omega Pirate. Why make mechs for your game if you’re just gonna scale the enemies up anyway is anyone’s guess. With that in mind, I kinda like this as a heavy unit for the Space Pirates, but the center of this design just is a bit hard to look at. I love the limbs and the inclusion of the iconic Prime Pirate energy blade. There’s a mix of fleshy joints and tough, metal plating that I enjoy, I actually like the bright red eyes as well, especially for a heavy unit. But the carapace around it just feels… it’s kinda hard to look at. That mouth, as well, is just a bit too buggy and lacks expressiveness. Really, that’s my edict on this thing. Good extremities, but lacks expression and is generally tough to look at. Still, I imagine someone could retool/retexture this thing to be a real banger of a design.

5th place: Metroid Other M

From here on, these designs are ones I truly like as Space Pirates. Metroid Other M’s Space Pirate design was a tough one to find a good image of. This was about the best one I could find in a cursory search. As far as official designs go, I think this is the best translation of the iconic Zebesian Space Pirate to 3D we’ve ever gotten. There was a small effort made in Prime 2 to bring the claws back, but here there are on full display and they look great. The whole design is, honestly, fantastic. You can see the smooth bands around the limbs and torso, downward pointed jaw, and the big, smooth, blank eyes of the old sprite. The spines on the back and head really add some personal flare to these guys as well, and the whole design has a delightfully cheesy color scheme that I simply adore. I think the series has designs that evoke certain feelings and themes better, but this is certainly a fun looking guy.

4th place: Metroid Prime 3 Corruption

Unlike every other type but the Zebesians, the Space Pirates of Corruption have a distinct name based on the Homeworld we explore, Urtraghians. There is a distinctly pseudo organic bend to these guys, with the textures on the armor plating feeling almost Xenomorphic. However, where I think this design stands out is, of course, the head. The long, pointed teeth clearly visible under the rows of eyes really makes this eel-like head intimidating. You can really imagine the Urtraghians descending from their ships in a city, gunning down innocents and plundering whatever they choose. These animalistic terrors will smell where you’re hiding and drag you out kicking and screaming. It really fits the Space Pirates’ role in the story. From day one, they really have just been a bogeyman for the Federation. We rarely actually see them doing… ya know… pirating. The rampant technological obsession was a concept introduced by the Prime trilogy. As a design for the Bogeyman of the Galaxy, I think the Urtraghians work great.

3. Metroid Prime 4 Beyond

Haha, 3 is for 4 and 4 is for 3. This will be subject to change and many people might not rank them until we get clearer images, but uh… I’m doin it. Beyond’s pirates have a very buggy design, but in a way that’s parallel, not identical, to the Zebesian designs from the 2d games. Their mouth is split into mandibles, they have a hard carapace, and their movements can be jittery and unsettling. The large size of them compared to the Federation personnel seen in the trailer really evokes power and control. Their armor has outward pointed edges and defined pectorals. These are conquerors, proud, undefeatable warriors. The sparseness of it also evokes a sense of confidence, as if they don’t need a full covering when their hardened shell is so superior to weak flesh. It’s almost ornamental in a way. (Though someone should remind them they lost in every previous fight against Samus). Their mandibular maws, hunched backs, double thumbed hands, and digitigrade stance (standing on their toes with their heels off the ground) also evokes a certain other core enemy type in a sci fi shooter.

I’m going to leave it here for now as I have some other stuff to get to at the moment and I Forgor the image limit on Tumblr posts. I’ll get the ranking for the final (first?) two designs by the end of today. Then, I might make a post about what roles I’d fit these different species into for my own storytelling purposes.

If you wanna see more nuance on Raven Beak and his internal dialogue and thought processes, I HIGHLY recommend reading The Downfall of Ashkar Behek by Acayl on AO3. I will abstain from any major spoilers, but you get to see how he comes to his headspace he has as the Mawkin Warlord we see in Dread. As the name suggests, you see his fall from moral grace, and his mental instability.

As for my own take on Raven Beak, I believe I’ve said previously that he is good at using fact based reasoning to for his own arguments. In my own retelling of events, he cemented the Thoha’s weakened state by using SR-388 as an example. The Thoha preach peace and coexistence with the universe and all its inhabitants. Yet they created an abomination of a species to solve their crisis on SR-388, and attempted to destroy the entire planet to eliminate the beings born by their own hands, their children, so to speak. He posits that the Thoha have strayed from their roots and their morals, and that they have no standing to hold sway over the Galaxy. It’s an insightful commentary that truly shakes the Thoha Hasana to its core. They fully renounce violence, refuse to kill the last Metroid in their possession due to the moral repugnance of their actions on SR-388, and withdraw from Galactic society and politics. The Metroids have become the great shame of the Thoha.

Left out of Raven Beak’s statements to the Thoha Hasana are his own plans of using the Metroids for his own gain. He conveniently omits the fact that he would not go so far as to commit genocide on the Thoha on SR-388 were it not for the military boon a supply of Metroids would afford him. What the full on massacre afforded him was the benefit of being the only one with the whole story, able to dole out and withhold as much of the truth as he sees fit. The only Thoha to know of his treachery is Quiet Robe. However, he’s not able to tell anyone. He is safely secured on ZDR, constantly monitored, and given no access to communications deemed unnecessary to the purpose Raven Beak has for him.

What he told them was the truth, but he did omit certain details the Thoha would certainly like to know.

Once again, read The Downfall of Ashkar Behek. It has many differences to my own take on him, but it’s so damn good I’ve used it for a fair bit of inspiration.

Sometimes I do have to question the decision to make Samus into the Chozo's personal champion/warrior; I think there's def some questionable moral implications about this. Especially when you find out that the Chozo let Raven Beak donate his DNA into Samus', which is just a whole can of worms; How the heck did this happen, how did they agree to it??? Did Raven Beak threaten them, why did they never tell Samus? Why an interest in Samus? How did Mother Brain think of all this, because I'd be surprised if she just never noticed despite her massive control over Zebes.

It's different not mentioning it was Gray Voice's DNA specifically, because I can see why it wouldn't be deemed relevant by either the Chozo or Samus herself up until the circumstances of that reveal. Samus definitely knew they donated somebody's DNA from that community, and she only knows of Chozo on Zebes, not Tallon IV or SR388.

I could see the Dread arc in a Metroid show being a storyline where Samus is kinda forced to confront her Chozo heritage, her relationship with them, ask these sorts of uncomfortable questions; I think Samus has a problem with seeing herself as only a weapon, a destroyer, which should make her dynamic with Adam compelling in theory because despite being a military commander, he does try to remind Samus that she should have an existence outside of these things. And this plays into his AI reincarnation finding a way for Samus to survive Fusion while still completing her objective. The fact that Adam himself was a military human might play into this, because he might understand firsthand how Samus feels the need to be her role; More on that in a bit…

And after Fusion, after the guilt of the Metroid genocide, and now carrying one's DNA within her, I can see Samus having a lot of questions about what she is, who she's made up of, etc. So in the buildup to the proper Dread storyline, I like to imagine that after Fusion, Samus actually goes to Earth, the ancestral homeworld of humanity, to reconnect with that original side of hers, with Rodney and Virginia's.

Seeing how much humans are used by the Federation as attack dogs (per my own HCs and the series itself) makes Samus wonder if there's more than that, hence Earth. It's a way for her to clear her head from depression and take a damn vacation with Adam, who has his memories again... Maybe Anthony? I think Samus might be in too much of an awkward spot with the Federation to invite Anthony, because that would put him in such an uncomfortable position as a Federation employee himself.

Still, seeing the role that humans play as the Federation's infantry species makes Samus wonder, at some point; Is that why the Chozo chose to adopt me? Obviously they saved me, but they could've just left me at an orphanage, maybe insisted on seeing me through a successful adoption process. But instead, they took me to Zebes, away from my people, and changed me to be more like them. Maybe when I joined the Federation, it was in the hopes of reconnecting with my human side.

It's a bit of irrational, panicked doubt that Samus has the luxury of being able to voice to Adam, who acts as a more objective, rational observer after becoming an AI; He's also reconnecting with his emotions, and we possibly get an arc of him showing Samus his home on Earth and where he came from, if he isn't from another world entirely like Samus herself is.

There's definitely a recurring question: Did I even know my people? Do I know who runs through my veins? The Metroids are a good example of this question, since Samus thought of them as just dangerous animals, and for a brief while as unnatural bioweapons after learning more on SR388 (which helped to justify their extermination in her Mind). But then she meets the Queen and then the Infant, and has her whole world rocked via gradual realization.

So Raven Beak showing up is the perfect time to contribute, when Samus starts to reconsider her relationship with the Chozo, her existence as a weapon. And Raven Beak outright says, Samus was groomed by the Thoha into their weapon because they were cowards.

He says that the Thoha were hypocritical, useless cowards; Despite their supposed devotion to peace, down to making it physically painful to inflict it, they still had plenty of workarounds. The Thoha still saw firsthand how violence was a necessary, natural part of life; Case in point, the X were not about to respond to diplomacy, so the Thoha had to create the greatest bioweapon the galaxy has ever seen. And this bioweapon, despite their attempts, would be weaponized later on by so many others, and cause so much destruction.

They also saw the need for the Mawkin; Despite their hostility and dismissal of their 'warmonger' brethren, the Thoha accepted their help when pushed into a corner. It was Mawkin soldiers who gave their lives sealing away the Metroids, so that SR388 might live. So perhaps, then, it was only justice, blood for blood, that Raven Beak slaughtered the Thoha for the deaths of his soldiers.

(I don't see him as being sincere in terms of 'avenging' his soldiers, because I prefer to write the members of a cause as less sympathetic the higher up the command chain they go; Feels truer to real life imo.)

This is a very uncomfortable position for Samus, she's backed into a corner and cut off from a friend like Adam who would be there to speak reason and back her up; Here, she feels alone. This is nonsense, Samus insists. The Thoha made themselves resistant to violence so as to encourage different methods, another way.

Yes, and those 'different methods' were simply to make others do the violence for them, Raven Beak notes. That's why the Zebesian Thoha groomed Samus into their own Metroid, why they accepted Raven Beak's DNA donation. The Thoha weren't trying to minimize violence; They simply sought to keep their hands clean of the dirty work by manipulating/creating others to do it for them.

But Raven Beak knows, he's figured out there's no difference; At that point, just cut out the middle man, do it yourself! This is why the Mawkin are the loyalists, while the Thoha and other clans are traitors; Only the Mawkin remain the True Chozo. And Samus must join them, because like the Mawkin she knows the simple truth that violence IS a natural, necessary part of life. She's seen how naturally vicious animals can be, engaged in that violence herself.

Other things are also necessary, Samus challenges sarcastically. Do you expect me to increase those tenfold in my routine? Raven Beak dismisses that question; Maybe if the situation calls for it. But in this chaotic state, the galaxy needs violence more than it does diplomacy, and so violence is what Samus must offer.

On Raven Beak's end at least, he WAS interested in Samus' status as a human; The Federation's most widespread infantry species. Especially given his plans to clone an army of Metroids... And then an army of Samuses. In general he was intrigued by the use of bioweapons and chimeras, hence Raven Beak adding to hybrid warrior Samus.

This makes it all the more poetic that Raven Beak would forcibly become a chimera himself, thanks to an X; Fusing with Kraid's DNA, with Kraid and the Space Pirates as a whole also operating on the idea of "We are physically superior, especially in combat, so we deserve to take advantage of that for ourselves and rule. Also Metroids are good bioweapons."

So despite their opposition to one another, the Space Pirates and Mawkin are truly two peas in an X pod, aren't they? Raven Beak 'got his wish' by fusing with the Space Pirates' most physically powerful member, and indeed his kidnapping of Kraid might have something to do with his eugenics and bioweapon plans.

Maybe Samus brings up, that beings like her and the Metroids are just a few examples; But the majority of Thoha options was peace, and Raven Beak's folly is that he only recognizes violent options and their success, while only remembering the failures of peaceful options. But it just goes to show how flashy they are, that the Mawkin are too 'bored' and 'under-stimulated' with the banal work of real peace to glorify it. Maybe Samus says this, or Adam, or even Quiet Robe-X.

Point is; If Old Bird is still alive out there, Samus has a LOT of questions for him and the other Zebesian Thoha when they reunite. That's assuming Raven Beak didn't get to them first, and unlike the game, the Metroid show has them actually appear in-person to add to this chaotic arc for Samus. Maybe this could lead to a respectful disagreement, where Samus decides she HAS to fight and this is necessary; But she understands why the Thoha are averse and feel shame, after their warring past.

Haruna, anamahar hasana. Dara esen mir, muk atamis. Ana maril banta dosh sahar.

[Translated from Chozo]

-Live, my tribe. More than that, be yourself. I will try to help.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility to my tribe, anamahar hasana. We have tough times ahead. We’re living in them now. But we must fight. We must protest. And yet, we must never let the gloom poison our sense of self. We are transgender. Never let any voice, inside or out, pry that from your grasp. Hold on to your sense of self.

Me when my favorite Tumblr users infodump Metroid fanons.

Please, I need more. It sustains me.

(Art by @tsproart )

Had this sped up audio of my friend ranting about Lunchly for a while now. Someone brought up the idea of this being Uzi ranting about JCJenson and I just had to draw it. She went a little obsessive in the bunker. Also N likes his oil drippy, brah.

You know, I haven’t seen anyone talk about how damn LOUD Thardus is! He is so damn loud it is intense! Granted, I haven’t played Metroid Fusion so I can’t really compare it to Neo Ridley, but it’s still gotta be up there. He just drowns out everything, even the music.

Can someone explain to me why the first Murder Drones post I make here is a meme about an AU? I did not expect this to be how it goes. Eh. @ddwhaleshark here ya go.

LITERALLY ME AND @your-local-squip-fanatic !!!! LITERALLY JUST US!!! YURI NUZI IS ME AND ASTRID!!!! I LOVE HER!!!! I LOVE MY FUCKING WIFE!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!

draw to nuzi yuri, kisses in bed (tw suggestive 16+)

here is your tw suggestive 16+ nuzi yuri kissing on the bed. i know the anatomys weird but its 12 am its not my biggest worry

Metroid Prime: The Great Hunt art dump 1

Today, y’all get some wildlife concepts. After all, the worlds of Metroid feel a lot less lively without an array of critters and beasts populating them!

The Icthyosuchus is a marine predator on the planet Collidus III, a world with vast oceans and only scattered islands left above the waves. Think of them like the cross between a dolphin and a mosasaur but with gills. There will be a brief fight between Samus and one of these sea beasts

The “Vigor” is something I thought up while brainstorming wildlife for a tall mountain range. The name is a pun based on its resemblance to a… certain tree dwelling mammal. It is a predator inhabiting the frigid planet of Collidus V, a world experiencing its own ice age.

Returning to Collidus III, the War Mantis is based off the concept of having a bigger, meaner war wasp, and thus the carnivorous praying mantis served as inspiration. The War Mantis is huge, with a specimen encountered by Samus totaling about 11 feet in height. Due to this size, they are flightless. However, their abdomens are hollow, allowing them to float on top of calmer waves and catch prey in shallow waters. Their thickly armored underbelly keeps them safe from aquatic predators like the Icthyosuchus.

The Herrahound is a ubiquitous native of Collidus IV, an arid world comparable to late Triassic Earth. These nocturnal creatures prefer to sleep during the day, held off of the heated soil of the perpetual summer by their clawed tails which can cling to trees or the ceilings of caves. Their prehensile mandibles and powerful legs allow them to catch prey effectively. The design of this creature is adapted from a cancelled enemy type from Metroid Prime: Hunters. I was not able to find a name for this creature, so I drew inspiration from its Triassic Environment and resemblance to a creature from the Half Life game series.