What Happens If You Climb Sideways?

Told y’all I would voice this! (Comic by @molagboop )

You know, I haven’t seen anyone talk about how damn LOUD Thardus is! He is so damn loud it is intense! Granted, I haven’t played Metroid Fusion so I can’t really compare it to Neo Ridley, but it’s still gotta be up there. He just drowns out everything, even the music.

You like GIRLS? That’s gay 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

Wait, it is?

I don’t talk about it much here, but I am a huge Halo fan. I have been since I was fairly young, and it’s the first… uh… first first person shooter I ever tried. I absolutely love the gameplay, the lore, the designs, the music, so much about it. For those of you who are new to me, I’m also a huge fan of Metroid. That interest is much more recent, but is still as strong currently.

As many might expect, the Halo TV show is, what some might call, Halo’s Other M. For the Halo fans who don’t know, Other M was a game in the Metroid series that made a lot of serious errors in its storytelling, gameplay, acting, and art design. Its story is downright abysmal, and a travesty of the Samus Aran that many Metroid fans know and love. The Halo TV show has a fair few of the same problems with unlikable characters, baffling plot decisions, and and a general misunderstanding of the source material

However, one thing I can still give unironic praise to is the animators, specifically for the Elites. They are so immensely expressive and provide a fascinating spectacle. Honestly. The Covenant sections are probably the best parts of the show.

If I were looking for an animation team for a Metroid movie/show, I would love to get the people who animated this scene on board. Imagine the Chozo animated with this level of prowess and realism. Imagine the Space Pirates. Imagine Ridley! I would absolutely KILL to see that in action. Don’t involve the writers, of course. Please do not involve the writers of the Halo show. But these animators know what they’re doing, and they’re damn good at their job. As a Metroid fan, I would love to see this sort of CGI used for many of the aliens in Metroid.

Can someone explain to me why the first Murder Drones post I make here is a meme about an AU? I did not expect this to be how it goes. Eh. @ddwhaleshark here ya go.

Ya know, one thing I like to think of with Metroid Prime is that Samus lands on this planet full of Chozo history that she’s never seen before and starts scanning everything in site like an excited little kid at a museum. She grew up with the Chozo, learned their ways, and lost them all to the pirates. Now, she has a world full of the remains of her home culture. You can just imagine her scanning every single statue of a Chozo to find out this was, why their statue is here, and what they were like. And she wants to know what the people of Tallon IV did. What was life like there? What did the average citizen do there?

Basically, Samus getting brain rot over her own culture’s history of which she’s been deprived of information about until now.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. Granted, that may be in part due to my birthday also falling on October, but nevertheless, I still love it. It’s a holiday of pure fun and celebrating the macabre. Alas, I haven’t been feeling it this year. Between politics (blech), quitting my current job, searching for a way forward in life, and a lack of new spooky content, I’ve just not felt drawn into the Halloween spirit. I’m also waist deep into the process of writing for my Metroid rewrite, and have very little to show at the moment. Still, Halloween is calling my name and I must not deny it, plus I really wanna get some more of my ideas out there. So here’s a quick post to at least get the ball rolling on some ideas for a rewritten Metroid Fusion, the game the cemented Metroid in the minds of many as suspenseful and horror adjacent.

1. Waking up

As opposed to the drawn out process of “go to SR-388, get infected, fly off, go comatose and crash into an asteroid field, get taken in and healed by the BSL station, leave the BSL, head BACK to BSL”, I’m simplifying it down. Instead of being called back to the BSL station due to an explosion on board, Samus wakes up on the operating table in the middle of the X-Parasite outbreak, similar in part to Doom 2016’s opening. However, she’s not thrust into action immediately from the onset, having some time to wake up and get a feel for the new/post surgery suit.

2. X-Parasites Science

I want to dive a little deeper into the details of the X-Parasites. Firstly, their scientific nomenclature is Anomalomimus Volans, roughly translating to “Strange Mimic which Flies”. Furthermore, I want to play more into the fact that it is an intelligent hivemind. Perhaps not Gravemind levels of intellect, but still enough to strategize and make complex decisions. However, their mimicry has a catch. They can only repeat phrases they’ve already stated. They can form new sentences, but it is difficult, and strains the limited mental capacity of each individual X.

3. X-Parasite life cycle

There is a variety of different levels of mimicry the X take on in the Metroid games. We have heard of them blending in with their prey, utilize the unaltered bodies of their prey, and even mutate into hideous new forms in order to gain an edge in combat. I have been able to come up with a few stages for a hypothetical Anomalomimus life cycle. First is the amoeboid stage, where we see their multi colored, amorphous forms floating through the air, searching for a creature to consume. This stage is temporary and, without food in time, they will disintegrate and die. Second is the mimic stage, where the X will attempt to blend in and retain its form, assessing the safety and viability of spreading in a given situation. The assessment is not exactly clinical, but it does take into account obvious factors like weaponry and escape routes… and, ya know, Metroids. If their cover is blown, they will react violently, killing all witnesses, and find a safe location to move onto their third stage. This stage can also be used in combat to aid in overwhelming and consuming a resisting population such as the Chozo. Lastly in their standard life cycle is the budding form, where their visage breaks down into amorphous slop as they begin to reproduce more X parasite offspring. I don’t have full details on this, or how the Core X fit into this, but this is where I’m at currently.

4. Scan Logs

Prime time, baby. We doing scan logs. In addition to the typical written logs and notices, I am going to be employing the Doom 2016 style holograms to relay events from the past. While I understand why they are not present in any of the Prime games, I do think they are a tool that make for some interesting storytelling opportunities, (especially in a show or movie, but that’s a discussion for another time). I will try to keep extensive scans sparse as it can be easy to oversaturate the inclusion of logs in a written story when the format already allows a window into how Samus deciphers situations around her.

5. Stakes

I will freely admit to not knowing a great deal about Metroid Fusion’s plot beyond the general outline of things. Some people may then find my reworking to be a bit dishonest in some ways to the source material. With that said, the stakes will be laid out from near the start, and the clock will start ticking. The X parasites have overrun the BSL Station, with near free rein over all of its systems. There are still some guard rails, but it’s only a matter of time until they find a way to send the station toward a well populated planet and spread. Samus, in addition to finding the truth of what was happening on board this station of doom, must ensure the X Parasites can never travel to another star system. If they do, all life in the galaxy is at risk.

6. The SA-X

The SA-X has been an extremely iconic villain due to its stalking behavior and sheer advantage in power over our recovering hero, in addition to being a demented, dark reflection of her. That being said, I think the mutated design for the SA-X feels a bit… uninspired? I simply feel that it just doesn’t add much to the design in its current form. However, the idea of the SA-X mutating is one I’ll keep. Instead of… whatever we have in canon, these mutations will come in the form of the SA-X attempting to keep cohesion with Samus’s spliced DNA and growing more Chozo traits, but deformed and uneven. Half a beak here, a featherless wing there, some mismatched eyes. It will exceptionally uncanny for Samus, given her relationship to both humanity and the Chozo.

7. Neo Ridley

There will be no Neo-Ridley… kind of. I feel like the years have really dulled the effect of having another clone of Ridley, so I will not be including one. Instead, BSL station will house the only other member of Ridley’s species known to the Galactic Federation, an individual named Neo, who provides insight into Ridley’s origins. His copy, Neo-X, will also feature some inspirations from Dread, including a ranged attack of black muck instead of fire, and mutating his wings into additional arms, alongside twisting its head 180°, allowing it to crawl along the walls and high speeds.

Hopefully, this turned out to be an interesting view into how I plan to bring my own spin on Metroid through a different storytelling format. My first project for this rewritten Metroid series is going to be a modified version of the Metroid Zero Mission manga. Stay tuned for updates on that! (If I ever get around to them>.<)

Just finished up Metroid Dread. Absolutely loved this game. Raven Beak’s boss fight was extremely fun and challenging. I think I’m gonna make a post tomorrow about why ZDR explodes at the end of the game.

Your life is nothing! You serve zero goodness! You should kill yourself NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that soul energy that’s here so we can live inside this spinning dust storm galaxy. Cuz what are you here for? To worship the Chozo? Kill yourself! I mean that with 100%, with 1,000%.

After the events of Fusion, Noxus learned that Samus had Metroid DNA (I have different ideas as to how), and realized it was destiny; He is a Judicator-wielding Vhozon who helped slay Metroids, and came into conflict with Samus Aran multiple times, believing during one incident that the Federation could not be trusted with an ultimate power she was attempting to secure. Noxus believed it was his duty to slay the last Metroid, and bring peace to the galaxy; Its DNA could not be trusted to fall into anyone's hands, least of all the Federation's after Adam helped leak its corruption. The Metroid must be destroyed completely.

Cue a confrontation in which Noxus is more of a threat than before because of Samus' new Metroid-inherited weakness to ice. And when murdering her himself isn’t quite working, Noxus remembers that Samus is still someone with a strong sense of justice that often overlaps with the Vhozon codex, in many ways he sees her as simply misguided. And thus someone whose sense of justice he can appeal to…

So Noxus suggests to Samus that she should just let herself die right here, right now, to save the galaxy; She understands the threat the Metroid poses, and she would sacrifice herself in a more conventional mission to save everyone. Why risk it, except to let herself enjoy a selfishly dangerous existence??? Adam tells Samus within her helmet not to listen to Noxus; You deserve to live too.

And in the end this episodic arc is meant to reiterate, it’s meant to be Samus practicing, a lesson she’s trying to internalize for herself after the events of Fusion, after the guilt and self-loathing she’s accumulated after so many loved ones’ deaths. Because damn Noxus is almost like the devil on her shoulder (ironic given his Holier than Thou personality; And Vhozon parallels to Christian extremism and the belief that suicide is a sin) making it sound real tempting to Samus to just kill herself.

She doesn’t even have to do it herself, someone will do it for her! Insisting it’s actually better for people Samus cares about if she’s dead, so this isn’t selfish but selfless, and vice-versa!!! So once again Samus is grappling with continuing to apply this lesson of self-worth because that’s the exhausting truth; You will relapse and you will have to constantly remind yourself and relearn that same lesson over and over again. That’s life, that’s the banal truth behind living, but there’s also a deep wonder behind it as well.

But in contrast to this, Noxus is essentially telling Samus:

Concept: Kriken is exiled from his home for the usual coming of age planet conquering ritual. He decides to enter the Galactic Federation, ambitious enough to steal a Federation world for the empire. However, he ends up actually appreciating the Galactic Federation and defecting to their side, giving seminars about the dangers of the Kriken’s xenophobic philosophy.