Https://archiveofourown.org/works/64519702/chapters/165692209

Alright a conversation with my friend has led us to a dilemma so:

•got to see my ex-metamour (my best friend in the whole world) for the first time in almost three years

•found out said bestie is dating a like legit clone of me like the resemblance is insanely uncanny

•got called a twink by a bunch of 13 year olds

•and of course called my cat a bitch

welp 2025 is off to a crazy start tbh

•moved back to my parents' house

•turned 21

•got my first pap smear thing (sucked ass)

•ran out of adhd meds

•new dr wont refill my meds

•got into a fight with my brother for telling him not to get weirdly apologetic for nazis

•is currently missing memories from a series of four days in a row that just seems to have never existed

just kinda odd shit happening for me

guess its almost time for the next month, hopefully ill at least get a valentine

are people with NPD really abusers or are you projecting your trauma onto mentally ill people?

"I'm going to fuck your avocado" - @neoglowratz

ugggg im falling in lvoe againngnnnnn

reblog for a group of crows to choose you as their leader and follow you around every waking moment

It's insane when RAMCOA deniers will say "mind control and brainwashing doesn't exist", "this specific type of organized abuse doesn't exist", and "nobody will ever believe your absurd story" when there are documentaries of stories of this stuff that also doesn't feed into the Satanic Panic y'all cry about RAMCOA spreading. Please watch Jan Broberg's documentary "Abducted In Plain Sight". Please watch the 90s documentary about The Children Of God organization. Look at the COUNTLESS Epstein documentaries. It exists and us victims are not making up "absurd stories". Ffs this shit is STILL going on, look at the shit going on in the Catholic church and many other churches. Look at the fucking P-Diddy case. RAMCOA, especially RA and MC, exists and is still going on.

And fuck off with the "the abuse exists, RAMCOA doesn't" because that makes no sense and you sound like a fucking dumbass. This type of abuse exists but at the same time it doesn't?? Fuck off. "Noooo the conspiracies don't exist" then say the conspiracies ABOUT RAMCOA doesn't exist not that RAMCOA is one in itself. Because it's not, there's just conspiracies ABOUT it that definitely don't exist and absolutely need to be called out. But RAMCOA being a conspiracy in itself?? It's not it's just a term for a specific type of abuse. Calling a term for a specific type of abuse a conspiracy is basically saying the abuse itself doesn't exist and is a conspiracy. Which is fucked because the topics in the documentaries and ongoing cases I mentioned counts as RAMCOA.

pirate dance party!!

sometimes i forget we have cult trauma

and then i have a ptsd nightmare and go oh yea that shit happened

ssomedays im just really harshly reminded about how many trans kids take their lives before they graduate high school and realize just how lucky i am to have made it this far.

i lost a trans friend a year ago and while seeing videos on my tiktok fyp talking about trans youth one of them mentioned another trans kid who took her life years ago and it reminded me of what it was like when that happened and then i thought back to my own friend i lost. and its just so terrifying knowing that im lucky to be one of the trans kids to survive my middle/highschool years.

it was a really big realization the other day that i had in which i turned to my sister and said holy shit im an elder trans person now, ive survived. and thats just really sad, knowing that when i was like 14/15 and first starting my transition i looked up to 18/19/20 year olds who made it and were transitioning and now im in that position of having saw these 14/15 year old kids looking at me and how well i pass and how well i know myself and how i survived and feeling like they could make it. the amount of kids i have had tell me that just seeing me being me around the school helped them to feel safe is insane to me. like these kids deserve to just be kids. i deserved to just be a kid. but we dont get to be kids. we dont get to live out our high school years by being high schoolers, we live them out in fear. in fear of our peers, in fear of our families, in fear of ourselves. and thats just terrible. this shouldnt be how things are.

i shouldnt have had to fight for the right to just use any of the bathrooms at my school. i shouldnt have had to go into our counseling office and report slurs and threats being verbally thrown at me in the hall. i shouldnt have had to sit there in my car before the last football game a year ago crying because my best friend was dead.